Ruddy Birthday parties!!!

[Pippin]

We've come to accept that P will not get invited to many birthday parties. Other parents just dont understand him. His twin sister, however, gets lots of invites. Usually we get over this as it Girly parties she gets invited to and he accepts that boys arent invited. Today, though, she got an invite from a BOY in their class......and P didnt!!!!! (they're both in the same class this year...year 6). She doesnt want to have to miss out just cos I'm mad at the boy in question for his thoughtlessness, but P is heartbroken. We've checked (subtly!!!) and is deliberate and not a mistake. I will also probably have to take P with me to drop her off. Why are people so horrid???

[Flora]

That must really sting <'>

 

florax

[aro]

We've come to accept that P will not get invited to many birthday parties. Other parents just dont understand him. His twin sister, however, gets lots of invites. Usually we get over this as it Girly parties she gets invited to and he accepts that boys arent invited. Today, though, she got an invite from a BOY in their class......and P didnt!!!!! (they're both in the same class this year...year 6). She doesnt want to have to miss out just cos I'm mad at the boy in question for his thoughtlessness, but P is heartbroken. We've checked (subtly!!!) and is deliberate and not a mistake. I will also probably have to take P with me to drop her off. Why are people so horrid???

 

 

You could brazen it out and ask the mum if it would be ok to bring P (offer to pay if there is a cost involved)

 

Pretty mean of them though

 

A x

[NickyB]

I know what you mean, these parties are a real minefield

 

It's becoming the 'thing to do' in our school that you invite everyone in the year (or sometiomes the entire school ) to your kid's party- although the invites don't usually extend to my DS or the other kids with behaviour problems.

 

He does get invited by those parents that I know well and who understand him, and I always stay with him.

 

I've come to realise that the people who don't invite him are not those I have much time for anyway, so I've decided not to cut myself up about it.

 

I'm lucky in a way because my eldest is 10 and wouldn't want to be seen at a 5 year old's party anyway

 

I really can't understand how anyone can be THAT thoughtless when they are twins, though - I'm with aro - just ask if he can come along. Could you offer to stay with him?

 

<'> Hope you get it sorted

[NobbyNobbs]

wow... when i was in primary school i had to invite everyone in my class to my birthday party, or noone. this offer even extended to the girl who'd tried to chop my thumb off in art class and the boy who punched me in the face for touching his chair!

 

the only thing i can suggest is rewarding him for not going by giving him a special activity to do instead. or speak to the parent, explain that you can't have one kid go and not the other because thats just cruel and was there any way he could be invited, even if he only came for the last 30 minutes or something and you supervised

[madme]

How awful. Personally I would just take him somewhere yourself. Some people are very thoughtless. We have had this quite a few times-my son's childminder whose son was in his year when in primary invited all the other boys but not my son- but we werent aware until we popped around after school to drop off his present. We could see the party and my son was so upset- but they were so stupid they turned off the lights and pretended not to be in- with all these kids!

[Pippin]

Thanks all. I probably will find a treat for him instead, partly cos I'm a wimp when it comes to brazening out other Mums. It's at the local fish and chip restaurant and "apparently" there's not enough room for him. I just want to sweep us all away from all this and find a school and community which values ALL people................yeah! right!

[Enid]

Thanks all. I probably will find a treat for him instead, partly cos I'm a wimp when it comes to brazening out other Mums. It's at the local fish and chip restaurant and "apparently" there's not enough room for him. I just want to sweep us all away from all this and find a school and community which values ALL people................yeah! right!

 

 

Let us know when you find one, have exact same probs this end. <'> <'> Enid

[Marion]

Hi Pippin, so sorry, some people will never "get it" unfortunately, we had a neighbour who hired a "party bus" parked it where you could see the thing right out our front window. She did come the day before to tell us about and explain why she couldnt invite our son because of "health and safety" I'm a wimp but I laughed at her and said DS wouldnt have come anyway we were going out-she said it'd be gone by 5. We werent going out but had to then, came back at 6pm-it was still there!!!

Was livid, but then an hour later she knocked on the door with a party bag! U can only take so much-told her what to do with her bag and never knock on my door again-hee hee,felt good.

I would think of the coolest thing for your son and spoil him!! Hugs, Marion <'>

[bikemad]

Aaawwww thats just down right nasty....ive had it done to my ds aswel but im a real ###### when I need to be n tell them exactly what I think.

[Pippin]

Well, would you Adam and Eve it!!! Having organised things so Hubby would take the boys out straight from school and leave me to get E to the party, the twins came home from school saying that P had now been invited!!! We hurried down to the cafe with them and he had a lovely time playing on his own next to the rest of the party! (well, digging a hole in the middle of their beach cricket pitch......the rest of the kids just carried on playing around him).

[Flora]

Yay

 

Flora

[warrenpenalver]

What age do kids become too old for these kind of birthday parties??? Just wondering really. I never went to many and the last one was at age 6. Is this the norm???

 

From another perspective, do your ASD children get upset because they are missing out???? I know with some of the friendship problems in some cases the parents are more distressed by the lack of friends than the child. (Not saying its right to exclude a child with ASD from partys etc).

[sesley]

party's the ones p has had invites to one of us go with him to look after him,its been interesting , he loves the games and joins in with enthusiasm, he enjoyed the school disco and wants to go to the halloween one, he does have his own agenda though he does hope to win and i have to be nearby ,when he doesn't to stop any unsocial he doesn't eat much, we did have one invite this year it coincided with another event,but the up shot is he would like a sort of birthday so i am tempted to organise a little do,just to give him the social experince that i hope will make a lasting impression on him for the future.

[Pippin]

P gets upset if not invited but then doesnt join in!! Its his sister who really gets torn up by it. Hopefully he wont notice so much next year when he goes up to the "Comp". Its hard now as there are only a relatively small number in his year at school.

[bikemad]

What age do kids become too old for these kind of birthday parties??? Just wondering really. I never went to many and the last one was at age 6. Is this the norm???

 

From another perspective, do your ASD children get upset because they are missing out???? I know with some of the friendship problems in some cases the parents are more distressed by the lack of friends than the child. (Not saying its right to exclude a child with ASD from partys etc).

 

Were we are the mums seem to compete to have the best party for their kid..there is a kid in my lads class turning 10 soon n he is haveing a huge lazer tag party. This is one of my son's few friends so my lad is invited to this party but it will be about the only one he will get invited too and he gets really upset about it he feels noone likes him because he is a freak and odd(his words).

[Flora]

From another perspective, do your ASD children get upset because they are missing out????

 

Definitely yes, (in my experience). I've noticed with my oldest son (14) his feelings of 'missing out' lessened when he got a bit older, but I think this was more a defense response than him not being upset. My youngest son is very sensitive to things like this... he is more hurt than upset though, IYKWIM. Although I can also see him building walls of 'bravado' over this sort of thing.

 

Flora