CHOOSING CHRISTMAS PRESENTS

[hedders]

HI DD IS 8YRS HER DEVELOPMENTAL LEVEL IS AROUND 5 YRS OF AGE.

 

 

 

SHOULD I AIM FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS SUITED TO HER DEVELOPMENTAL LEVEL OR AGE LEVEL

 

THIS YEAR ALL SHE WANTS IS A DOLLY, COT, CLOTHES ETC..

 

IM NOT SURE IF I SHOULD LOOK AT TOYS 8YRS PLUS OR AIM AT THE YOUNGER AGE.???

 

 

 

SUCH A SILLY QUESTION, IM AFRAID.

HER MAIN PRESENT IS GOING TO BE A DESK WITH LOTS OF PAPER AND PENS.

[chris54]

Hi

That is a good question.

I would look at the individual toy as to whether you thought it is suitable rather than what it says on the box.

I have known toy aimed at 5yr who even I would have trouble with. (That's not saying much).

And we all know that the old favorites get played with no matter what age the are aimed at.

I'm told that the Orchard Toys range are good in that 5+ would be suitable for a wide age range.

[JsMum]

THIS YEAR ALL SHE WANTS IS A DOLLY, COT, CLOTHES ETC..

 

I dont think there is anything at all wrong with wanting these at 8, if 8 year little girls are put off having a doll at 8 I am very worried, I loved spending hours pretending to be mum with my doll right up to around 11yrs. Please dont say girls are growing up that fast there out grown dolls by 8.

 

Bless her, she sounds soo sweet, id be inclined to get her these for christmas.

 

JsMum

[sesley]

my p is 9 this year, he see's toy adverts on Nick jnr baby toys like the trike that babys grow into toddlers on, (you can ride a proper bike now you are grown up for that and too big , babys can't ride your bike because they can't reach the peddles, i want one of those he says

and says can i buy it? and then Sommerfields ads come on and says i want to go to Sommerfields, Why i ask you don't eat anything they are advertiseing we got to Tescos Perth and sees a DS lite game he wants ,we go to get something to eat ,go back to it and its gone so we get now we leave Tescos and he says i don't want to leave with nothing, after looking at games, i say we didn't you got your milky bar dessers and your mars cakes so we did leave with something. (successfully and calm)he still wants supermario olympic games so its time for bribery, be as best you can in school, no kicking,pushing or hitting or throwing things around in classroom, at least until October hollidays and maybe you can have it

[Canopus]

I was recently talking to some Muslim parents who have a policy that their kids presents for Eid-ul-fitr have to be of a useful or educational nature and cannot be things like toys or video games. Would any parents here have the strength to impose such a measure at Christmas?

[tjw]

hi hedders

i dont think it would be a bad thing getting your dd a doll she is only 8 yrs old, and if you did get her prezzies for her own age she will proberly not play with them which would be a shame, i think anything that will stimulate our children will be good, and she will have to take care of it changeing clothes ect, i got my ds who is just 6 a bumblebee transformer last yr and we have not had it out the box since xmas day none of us can put it together but he did ask for it hopefully he will beable to do it when older(cos i have tryed and failed ) so go with what you think would suit her best,

takecare

theresa x

[jo4themo]

Hi Hedders

I agree with the other posts and go for something that suits her developmental age - and that she will actually play with (my lot have a few toys that get played with once then resigned to bottom of toy box). N will be 10 next month and I have got her some WALL.E toys that are age 4 and up and a Shaun the Sheep DVD and book!! In fact, the only things that I tend to buy that are actually for her age are some books (esp non-fiction ones) and jigsaws. Last Xmas she got two small Transfomers that were age 5 and up and mastered them quite quickly so she is asking for a bigger one this year (as is her little brother who is only 3!). Other than that, she has asked for WALL.E on DVD, the DS WALL.E game and some Technic Lego (she has seen a set in the Argos cat, which amazingly isn't the dearest one!)

[jo4themo]

Forgot to say, dolls are fine - my niece age 7 is always playing mums with hers! It's sad though that so many girls these days grow up so fast and don't want to play with dolls after they are 6 - I can remember still playing with mine when I was 11.

[Thompsons]

I agree with everything that's been said.. Get her things that she's gonna want to play with I'm 18 and I still love dolls (amongst other things) It's not something I often admit to in public, lol, but I enjoy them and that's the main thing. If it makes her happy, go for it!

[chris54]

Hi

 

I didn't say that dolls are great.

I used to be a childminder and to save money used to made the clothes for the dolls myself, much to my wife's amusement I would dress the dolls in different outfits each day.

 

No, I don't see an age limit to playing with dolls (or gender come to that),(that's what OFSTED tell us CM).

[oxgirl]

I was recently talking to some Muslim parents who have a policy that their kids presents for Eid-ul-fitr have to be of a useful or educational nature and cannot be things like toys or video games. Would any parents here have the strength to impose such a measure at Christmas?

 

 

I'm not sure it has anything to do with having strengh, it's more lifestyle choice, imo. I'll get Jay for Christmas something that makes him happy, simple as that. He has plenty of time at school and doing homework for educational stuff, his free time should make him happy.

 

Having said that, I haven't a clue what to get him this year, he doesn't seem to want anything at all.

 

~ Mel ~

[dooday24]

i would buy wat makes her happy ... reece stilll watches all the young childrens programmes and thats wat i buy him on dvd

 

and hes also got toys for younger children which he loves so just go with wat u think thats wat i do

 

goodluck

 

love donnaxxxxxx

[JsMum]

We were walking to the shops and J asked me how long until christmas, well tomorrow is the last day of this month making it October on Wednesday, then I thought to myself, that makes it 2 months until December, arrr, I havent had that much time to even contemplate christmas because of the home move, then Js Education and so the months since April have just gone real fast, Ive not got a thing yet, but cricky its about 12 weeks until the big CDay,

 

Here is Jays List incase it helps.

 

PLAYMOBIL POLICE STATION/AIRPORT AND SHOP....Jay loves playmobil, they have a great range for girls too, the pony ranch is excellent.

 

APPLE MAC COMPUTER. For his amination and music abilities.

 

Xbox steering wheel, another xbox controller and xbox games.

 

A really big cuddley soft Teddy, yes he actually asked for this.

 

The biggest chocolate santa I can find by lindt chocolate.

 

Thats it really.

 

JsMum

[sesley]

my p is simular to DD aged 8 going on 9 with developement age 4/5 ,its interesting to see they both are at a simualr stage, P likes Cee bee bees i got driven mad by In the Night garden at the early part of this year, he also likes peppa pig. so when we are in toy shops i am hoping he doesn't see and want the toys to the programs,he is mad on Ds lite and Wii the Supermario brothers games.for some reason he says he wants 7 ds lite games, i think ts because in total olde bro has 7 and he wants to equalise .

[hedders]

Thanks for all your advice, dd has already choosen the dolly its chou chou 1st tooth!! Just wasnt sure to go ahead as every christmas she asks for the same so we have many dollys etc..

I got a few electronic toys im not sure if she will find these interesting as they are age 8 plus.

I have a clearer mind now

I make mistakes every yr with presents i always seem to go for age level and dd never touches them, so recently i was thinking maybe i should aim for her developmental level.

Which is good as she had missed out on role playing all these yrs so i have already got her lots of polly pocket toys.

[Zosmum]

Hi Hedders

 

If she likes it and is gonna play wth it, buy it.

It's no use buying something cos that's what they're s'posed to play with at that age. Waste of time, effort and money.

Z is 12 and wants some Barbie doll or other so I'll get her this knowing she'll love it

Last year she wanted a handheld game console(you know the one) but they cost to much to be left under the bed if she wasn't interested so I bought a cheap one off an auction site that way if she didn't use it, it was no biggy

 

Instead of thinking age and ability why not just go for what she likes? It's so much easier

[stressedmumto2]

My daughter is just starting to out-grow her dolls, she's 8. she still has the parm and all the bits and will occasionaly play with them, however she has taken to dressing up her big teddies in her dressing up princess out-fits, lol.

My sis would still play with dolls till when she was 11 I think. I think girls are growing up far too quickly, when I was little I hated dolls though and preferd pens and paper, spyrograph and all that art and craft stuff.

 

Give her what you think she will play with as opposed to something she may never take out of the box, it will be far more beneficial to her and who to say playing with dollies isn't educational and great for the imagination. Alternativly have you thought about buying her one of them kitchen things, with cooker and sink etc or a shop set up, expenisve but very durable. My son loved his kitchen when he was younger <'>

[venus]

I don't think your little girl is too young to have dolls at 8.I remember (this is going back 20 years) with playing with sindy dolls etc at 11 years old.My son who is 7 wants an electronic newborn kitten for xmas and I have already bought ,it looks a bit freaky but it what he really wants and I know that he will play with it.If I bought him something more boyish he just wouldn't be interested and it wouldn't get played with.

[tjw]

news flash my ds has just asked me for the new bun making thingy advertised on tv at mo, then he says but its pink, i know what mum you can buy it for you and i will help make them, cheek or wat

theresa

[bikemad]

I think 8 is fine for dolls...my step daughter is 13 but she still secretly wants a bratz doll n a baby born.

[Mumble]

In my view Christmas and presents should be enjoyable (and that you learn if you enjoy rather than being forced) - and what kids want to play with, especially in the home - should be just that - what they want to play with.

 

A lot of 'ages' on toys are odd anyway - some start too high because of safety concerns (look at the start age on a chemistry set for instance which a kid could enjoy much younger with a parent - I used to have an electronics set when I was a kid that I loved for instance), and others are based on trends/fashions - look at Lego boxes - adults (and not just those on the ASD spectrum!! ) build these but many have 'upper ages' of 12...

 

Also, you have to remember in ASDs that social development age is considered 2/3 of chronological age - so with an 8 year old, this will be 5-6 - which is totally (as is 8....) appropriate for dolls.

 

There are several 'toys' on my Christmas list and I'm supposed to be a sensible adult....

[NobbyNobbs]

he still wants supermario olympic games so its time for bribery, be as best you can in school, no kicking,pushing or hitting or throwing things around in classroom, at least until October hollidays and maybe you can have it

just to warn you that game is very boring (reptetitive, no storyline or anything just constant competing, i have mariokart too and that is far more interesting even though its more limited), and very hard. unless he has very good fine motor skills he will find it frustrating (i have it)

 

as for dolls, its a tricky one. our last foster girls were developmentally behind and one of those wanted nothing but to play with dolls. we decided that we would buy no new dolls stuff beyond her 9th birthday. if she wanted to play with it that was fine, but we wouldn't actively encourage it. bratz dolls are fine it seems up to 10 or 11, but regular baby dolls are a social no-no after about 7/8 now (though I'd never buy bratz either because I feel they look creepy and dress inappropriately for a childs toy) we moved her on to making and drawing and she became a lot more interested in doing real things she'd have pretended with her dolls, she wanted to make the tea, cook dinner and things like that which helped her social skills, attention span and responisbility so we were all for that.

 

we use their friends as a guide to what is appropriate for them to be doing for their age group in general. we wouldn't buy them something that would cause them to be bullied or teased, but if we could find something similar which wouldn't cause that we'd take that route before completely removing the thing they want (bratz dolls are the exception for me )

[Mumble]

we wouldn't buy them something that would cause them to be bullied or teased

Ooh, really tricky - I can comprehend this argument, but at the same time, is it not self-fulfilling in that it reinforces the idea that it's OK to bully difference and brought on by the person who is different, rather than encouraging a tolerance of individuality? I'm not saying you're wrong, and I don't have kids, so I'd be interested to know what others think?

[JsMum]

Ooh, really tricky - I can comprehend this argument, but at the same time, is it not self-fulfilling in that it reinforces the idea that it's OK to bully difference and brought on by the person who is different, rather than encouraging a tolerance of individuality? I'm not saying you're wrong, and I don't have kids, so I'd be interested to know what others think?

 

 

 

I totally agree mumble, Was about to copy and paste same sentence, because I feel very very strongly we should not be beaten down and made not to like or desire something in fear of been bullied.

 

Take J for example, at three onwards, loves baby boy dolls, and big cuddly teddy bears, I wouldnt dream of not getting these in fear he would be teased and bullied, I think its just as important for boys to learn the role of looking after a baby, as one day, he may be a father, he never got teased for having a baby boy doll dressed up in his cot, in Js bedroom, next to it a bottle of milk that looked like it was feeding, when boys came, many played with it, and brought out a very nice nature to them, it was so nice, many boys said they wasnt allowed a doll just because they where a boy! and there mummies were worried they might get bullied.

 

Its like agreeing that peer preasure works, and if there is any chance of our children been bullied we shouldnt go there.

 

JsMum

Edited September 30, 2008 by JsMum

[dooday24]

i really donot care what people think anymore as long as my child is happy thats all that counts... and i played with my dolls till i was about 13

my son still has a dummy when he is stressed it helps with his anxiaty levels and i donnot care when people ask me why hes still got a dummy and he uses a major buggy which people can get really funny about...... i think children have to grow up way too fast nowadays let them enjoy being kids while they can.....

 

love donna xxxxx

 

ps i hope noone takes offence to this post im just explaining how i feel as a parent to my own children xxxxxxx

[NobbyNobbs]

these are foster kids i'm talking about so they already have an automatic 'kick me' sign around their necks and its just plain cruel to suggest they should want to be more different than they already are. they haven't had a positive upbringing so they dont know social rules so its more a responsibility to making sure that they arent a further victim of their circumstances. i only mention this because the behaviours of a neglected and abused child are so similar to those of a child with an ASD that the same rules can apply (apart from obviously the unstable upbringing! not insulting any parents here) - can a child with AS be responsible for reading social cues or should the parent do it?

i think although its wonderful to idealise that you can have a child with such high self-esteem that they can shake off negative remarks its not likely to be a foster child or a child with an ASD as both are walking targets for bullies unfortunately

[JsMum]

these are foster kids i'm talking about so they already have an automatic 'kick me' sign around their necks

 

How hurtful that whole sentence is, its not true, I find that obserd!

 

Not all foster kids are in care for neglect and abuse.

 

Im not saying anything else as you have really offended me.

 

JsMum

[dooday24]

i felt the same jsmum (my sister ended up in foster care for a while as she couldnt cope with things at home) but she had a very lovely familly environment......

 

love donnaxxxxx

[madme]

I find this so hard as my DD(7) often expresses the wish for the socially conformist toy( ie what is on the ads, at the same time as actaully watching CBeebies but her favourite passtimes are maths, science on occasion dinosaurs ( more so in the past). She has lots of dolls who have been ignored- they have all the accessories etc- but refuses to get rid of them but doesnt actually play with them. I have no idea what to get her this year. I have asked her 13 year old also asd brother to get some clues. At the moment her favourite toy is her brothers science kit! I'm sure that she would be ashamed to admit to her school"friends" that at 7 she still loves Cbeebies.

[NobbyNobbs]

How hurtful that whole sentence is, its not true, I find that obserd!

 

Not all foster kids are in care for neglect and abuse.

 

Im not saying anything else as you have really offended me.

 

JsMum

well when i stop seeing what i said in the life of every child that lives in this house then perhaps i'll believe its not true but for now i'd rather not add to their issues because its not a comfortable truth for people. if someone will bully someone for having glasses/red hair/the wrong clothes what makes you think that not living with your parents would be any different? they miss out on school activities, clubs and birthday parties because they live too far away now, or have contact, or have to see a social worker - they are different by default as soon as they go into care. they dont WANT to be different, but thats their life so personally i'd rather spend some time thinking about what toys i buy and giving them at least one part of their life where they can be like everyone else in their class.

 

as for things like CBeebies every kid ive babysat or looked after has watched them well past the target age. you've only gotta look at when you take them on holiday and they know all the words to the songs when at kids club

[joybed]

We have decided this year that we are only buying toys that are good quality and really wanted. I am sick of the plasticky rubbish hanging around my house. you know the kind of thing little playsets with lots of tiny pieces that get lost by christmas day evening and then cannot be played with. All my kids have so many toys that the house is full of junk and I keep tripping up all the time. All needs a damn good sort out but need more time. Marcus only really uses his computer and ipod but his room in full of lego, k,nex, magnetix, microscopes that he has never really used that much. Actually the k,nex was played with for years but he has now lost interest. Time to go in the loft for Piers and Lydia when they are older.

I was brought up with the idea that if we didn,t have a massive pile of presents my parents thought they had failed us and I have watched my aunt get into debt year after year spending �1000 on each of her 3 children. Unfortunately i too fell into this trap (not the debt bit though not that daft) and bought Marcus in particular totally innapropriate toys that he had no idea what to do with and so never played with. Marcus wants a DS lite this year and super mario games so he will probably get that and then useful things like stationery for school, socks and a few other bits. Last christmas was really hard as he got nintendo Wii but obviously couldnt play with it christamas day as we had people round, his behaviour was dreadful as he said we were not allowing him time to play and he was bored. i don,t think he truly grasps the concept that he is growing up and doesn,t get toys to play with as such. will need to put more though into this year. He also struggles with the idea that Piers and Lydia appear to get more, he doesn,t understamd that they all have an equal amount spent on them but there things are bigger as thay are still small children.

[Sooze2]

HI DD IS 8YRS HER DEVELOPMENTAL LEVEL IS AROUND 5 YRS OF AGE.

 

 

 

SHOULD I AIM FOR CHRISTMAS PRESENTS SUITED TO HER DEVELOPMENTAL LEVEL OR AGE LEVEL

 

THIS YEAR ALL SHE WANTS IS A DOLLY, COT, CLOTHES ETC..

 

IM NOT SURE IF I SHOULD LOOK AT TOYS 8YRS PLUS OR AIM AT THE YOUNGER AGE.???

 

 

 

SUCH A SILLY QUESTION, IM AFRAID.

HER MAIN PRESENT IS GOING TO BE A DESK WITH LOTS OF PAPER AND PENS.

 

Hiya, Ive not read the other replies but I would get her the dolly and cot etc if that is what she wants. The ammount of times I have bought DS (9 next week) things that I think he would like and they have never been used is unreal, he has Knex, magnetix, meccano etc etc and has never used them apart from the day they were opened and I played with them with him and he walked off dissinterested after 5 minutes.

 

A girl in DS's class got a large blue person (can't remember name!) from the night garden last christmas - she was 8 - that is what she asked for and she is just an average child.

 

Annabelle is very well loved here, the girls got them for their 3rd brithdays 3 years ago and she is still going strong and used most days. They have asked for the new version which I'm getting for Xmas this year and maybe a pram to go with it. I think some girls are into babies and some barbies/brats - mine have both but have never really played with barbies/bratz but will use baby dolls all day long and I can see that continuing for a few years yet. I would give her the Argos book and let her choose what she likes - I have to do this now for DS as he hates surprises and will not cope at all on his birthday unless he knows whats happening.

 

My son only plays with cars and lego, its getting hard to buy different ones now. He is loving the girls Littlest Pet Shops that they had for their birthday the other day though. He has seen something in the argos book that he likes but is worried because its only for girls!!!! He is VERY hard to buy for!

[Sooze2]

Just to add, my cousins daughter asked for an ELC wooden farm when she was nine. She loved it and played with it every day for well over a year with all her little horses. She was and still is into unicorns, harry potter and all things to do with dragons and wizards from a very young age. She loves crystles, and rocks etc etc. She still loves these things (to a lesser extent) at 13 coming up 14. She has never played with dolls - never been interested in them. She has never been bullied because of this and has some really good freinds who don't see it as a problem. When my husbands Aunt who is an ex-teacher met her she thought she was a bit weird and would have problems as she got older, but she is fine, popular and confident.

 

Kids spend all their school life trying to be like everyone else - home should be where they can be who they are and what they want without being judged. I tell DS, yes you can play babies and barbies with your sisters but if you feel that the other boys would say its not for boys just don't tell them about it - it works for him. In fact most of his freinds love my girls' littest pet shops, playing with the dolls house and all sorts of things they would never admit to at school I know because they play with it all here! I also know of boys older than 9 who hide the teddies that they sleep with in their mums room when their mates come around so they won't get laughed at, its funny what other mums will tell you isn't it! I don't think kids actually stop using these things as young as we think, they just don't let on that they have them to their mates for fear of being laughed at.

 

My freinds daughter was bullied at school by another girl because she liked winnie the poo - she was 5!!! What is the world coming to?!

[Canopus]

A lot of 'ages' on toys are odd anyway - some start too high because of safety concerns (look at the start age on a chemistry set for instance which a kid could enjoy much younger with a parent - I used to have an electronics set when I was a kid that I loved for instance), and others are based on trends/fashions - look at Lego boxes - adults (and not just those on the ASD spectrum!! ) build these but many have 'upper ages' of 12...

 

Age limits used to annoy me when I was a kid. Sometimes I would end up with presents that were intellectually beneath me. My parents and my younger brother thought I was silly for wanting toys as a teenager.

[Babylicious]

I wondered the same last year when my then 7 1/2 year old asked for a toy suited to a 2 year old (her development age was around 5 then) - didn't buy at as it was over �100 so she tore her curtain rail down and half the plaster!!

 

She's got a ds this year so I'm praying she'll be happy enough with that