absolutely livid with school...........

[oxgirl]

My blood has been boiling for the last two days, I'm livid with school.

 

As some of you may remember, Jay moved from one site to another one, leaving behind the only friend he has EVER had, EVER! He's been friendless for 14 years, basically.

 

Well, we were a bit reassured, 'cos the new site had put in a couple of sessions per week when he pops back over to the old site to meet with this friend and just play and chill out with him, which went some way to making him feel a bit better (he'd been talking of suicide). The rest of the time he's in the unit either alone or with two other children who are both non-verbal, so very isolated and lonely.

 

Monday, he comes out of school and said his session with F had been cancelled and he won't see him again on Mondays! He was given no explanation and sent straight off to his Physics lesson, great! In the session where he would have met with F he was told to sit and play with Knex on his own while the two TA's sat and had a cuppa and a chat and ignored him. When we got home I emailed the unit asking for explanation, but got nothing. Jay went in today, still angry after a rotten day yesterday, and asked why F had been taken off the timetable. The reason given was that Jay 'had work to do'??!! Sorry, am I missing something, was sitting alone playing with Knex work then? He was told he was here to work and he saw F on another day and that was enough and when he got very angry and upset they just told him off and then sent him off to his English Lit lesson, another day ruined!!

 

What is it with these people??!! It's a 'specialist' ASD unit??!! Don't they consider that socializing is as important, IF NOT MORE SO, than going to maths lessons??!! We've so far had no explanation and no consultation, no warning, no nothing! I've been spitting blood all day, we're all flabbergasted at their lack of understanding and their attitude. We feel the real reason is that they can't be bothered to keep walking him over to the other site and obviously it's more beneficial for him to sit alone while the other lad sits at the other site rather than them being together and maintaining their friendship isn't it! I'm lost for words.

 

~ Mel ~

[Karen A]

For you I will not pretend to have anything else to say. <'> <'> Karen.

[oxgirl]

If he was in mainstream he'd be with his friends all day, 6.5 hours per day, five days per week! But for him, two hours per week is apparently deemed 'enough' and the rest of the time sitting alone killing time with no interaction or no-one to talk to, lunchtime and breaktimes on his own, and we're supposed to be HAPPY about this??!! Would they want that for THEIR child??!! Honestly, I can almost say that I've never been so angry in my life, I'm spitting nails!

 

~ Mel ~

[Cat]

 

It goes from bad to worse. What on earth are you going to do now. Every idea I could come up with is probably illegal

 

Cat

[something_different]

the asd unit obv don't know v much about asd.

 

how far is the unit from the school? would his friend b able to come to the unit and spend some time with him?

[Clare63]

Mel, I would be livid too, infact I am livid on your behalf, how "insert a bad word here" dare they , to be honest they sound dam lazy and disinterested to me , how dam disrespectful to both you and Jay.

 

I am so cross I can write much else, but hope you find much strength to get to the bottom of this.

 

Have pm'd you.

 

<'> <'> <'> <'>

[oxgirl]

Thanks all, I'm sick of trying to educate these people, what's wrong with them!!

 

I've sent long emails copying in all sorts of people asking for an explanation and complaining about how it was done. Tomorrow I'll ring up and demand to know why this has happened, but I'll never trust these people again.

 

Something_different, the school is on two sites, divided by a busy road, each site has an ASD unit. The other lad, even though he is nearly three years younger, has the independence skills to walk over on his own to spend time with Jay in the older unit, which he has been doing once or twice a week, I couldn't see what the problem was. Now he's been stopped from coming over on Mondays and Jay has to sit alone instead with no-one to talk to. The TAs can't even be bothered to do anything with him or talk to him, they just stick him on a mindless maths programme for five year olds, even though he's doing GCSE maths just to keep him quiet so they can have a cuppa in peace.

 

Thanks Clare. <'>

 

I WILL NOT LET THIS LIE. THEY WILL RE-INSTATE THIS SOCIAL SESSION OR ELSE!

 

~ Mel ~

[oxgirl]

It goes from bad to worse. What on earth are you going to do now. Every idea I could come up with is probably illegal

 

I'm shaking with fury, really I am! Wouldn't mind so much if they'd discussed it with me first or if they had specific things of value they wanted to do with him. But, stick him in the corner to play with Knex on his own??!! Stick him in the corner on his own to do a puzzle for five year olds??!! This is more valuable than having 1:1 social time and very rare and much needed fun??!! He's nearly 15 for ** sake!

 

~ Mel ~

[JsMum]

Firstly Hugs <'> and Im sorry your going throw this again.

 

You stated this, two hours per week is apparently deemed 'enough' and the rest of the time sitting alone killing time with no interaction or no-one to talk to, lunchtime and breaktimes on his own, and we're supposed to be HAPPY about this??!!

 

Surely this is not enough and what about the rest of the time, he should be recieving more hours than this.

 

I really urge you to ring ipsea as this can not be legal.

 

I sure do hope that things begin to turn around soon.

 

JsMum

 

[stressedmumto2]

I am absolutely livid for you and disgusted that they have done this hugs to you and you son <'> <'> <'> .

 

Have you thought about writing to the governors of the school too? It makes me so mad, your child needs to have time with other peers and his friend. Hope you get it sorted and ASAP <'> <'>

[bikemad]

Omg thats beyond ridiculous!!!!!!!

[oxgirl]

I've got up this morning and my heart is absolutely racing, I'm in a terrible state. I'm going to ring the school in ten minutes and I hate confrontation, I just can't cope.

 

~ Mel ~

[oxgirl]

Well, it seems to be sorted.

Me and DH sent a stinking email last night to various peope, including the head at the other unit and the senior person at his present unit who is above the head who made the decision.

It sounds as if she has had a good telling off.

I phoned five mins ago and, with a very shaky voice, she told me she couldn't apologise enough, it was an error of judgement of her part and she'd rectify it and would like to draw a line under it. I've agreed, but will find it very hard to trust her again and Jay now says he hates her. He won't forgive people who have wronged him.

But at least we won.

I feel exhausted, I'm not up to these battles, they're totally draining me.

 

~ Mel ~

[chris54]

Well done.

 

Lets hope that this person now goes on to get a better understanding of ASD.

 

It could be a turning point for her. Well we can live in hope.

[joybed]

Glad you got it sorted out. I still find it hard to believe that other people treat other humans like this but I am getting more cynical by the day. This would be unaccepatble in mainstream school but an ASD unit they should know better. I also can,t believe they leave him to get on with things while they have a cuo of tea. On the wards where I work we are not allowed to have a cup of tea in the office as the manager thinks it looks unprofessional we are allowed a drink during our 15 minute break and drinks of water but often have no time to get water. I frequently leave work with headaches and feeling shaky as I have not had a drink or eaten for 9 hours. We also have to look busy all the time if we are sitting we are asked if there is something that needs doing or a patient that needs help, if by some slim chance it is quiet we are set cleaning tasks. I wouldn,t mind this so much if the patients were not well cared for but on the whole they are and the majority are happy with there care. Most of my colleagues are in midwifery because they want to help women get the birth experience they deserve and the knowledge to care for there baby. Sounds like they are lazy and just want an easy life to me although we are not happy with our working conditions either. Hope things get better soon.

[oxgirl]

Thanks Chris and Joybed. I am still shell-shocked that this has happened, I still can't believe the total lack of understanding, it's mind-blowing and very disturbing.

 

~ Mel ~

[Enid]

So glad you got it sorted. <'> Enid

[Karen A]

Well, it seems to be sorted.

Me and DH sent a stinking email last night to various peope, including the head at the other unit and the senior person at his present unit who is above the head who made the decision.

It sounds as if she has had a good telling off.

I phoned five mins ago and, with a very shaky voice, she told me she couldn't apologise enough, it was an error of judgement of her part and she'd rectify it and would like to draw a line under it. I've agreed, but will find it very hard to trust her again and Jay now says he hates her. He won't forgive people who have wronged him.

But at least we won.

I feel exhausted, I'm not up to these battles, they're totally draining me.

 

~ Mel ~

 

 

Mel.I am one cross lady in fighting mode over my own battles with HTs today.

Even if they say this is sorted get something in writing to confirm what has beed said.

Some people are very quick to draw a line under things ,tidy up and move on.

The next time there is a problem they have moved on so well they forgett the telephone conversation ever took place. Karen.

[Karen A]

Glad you got it sorted out. I still find it hard to believe that other people treat other humans like this but I am getting more cynical by the day. This would be unaccepatble in mainstream school but an ASD unit they should know better. I also can,t believe they leave him to get on with things while they have a cuo of tea. On the wards where I work we are not allowed to have a cup of tea in the office as the manager thinks it looks unprofessional we are allowed a drink during our 15 minute break and drinks of water but often have no time to get water. I frequently leave work with headaches and feeling shaky as I have not had a drink or eaten for 9 hours. We also have to look busy all the time if we are sitting we are asked if there is something that needs doing or a patient that needs help, if by some slim chance it is quiet we are set cleaning tasks. I wouldn,t mind this so much if the patients were not well cared for but on the whole they are and the majority are happy with there care. Most of my colleagues are in midwifery because they want to help women get the birth experience they deserve and the knowledge to care for there baby. Sounds like they are lazy and just want an easy life to me although we are not happy with our working conditions either. Hope things get better soon.

 

joybed <'> <'> Thanks for your post.I left nursing twelve years ago.Ben is going to secondary school in September and I started to wonder about going back.

I think you answered the question,I am too old to look busy or clean to be seen to be doing something like I did 25 years ago when I was 18.Much too stroppy now too. Karen.