AJ Stealing Again!!

[Stella63]

Hi

 

The sorry saga continues!!! Discovered yesterday that most of OJ's Wii games and one of his only two Xbox games (only bought a couple of weeks ago) have gone missing. AJ of course denied it - but I know he went into town on tuesday with 2 of his friends so I went in to the local game store that buys games for a trade or cash and they have it in their log that 3 of those games were sold on Tuesday and the name of the boy who signed the form is one of his mates (the only one old enough to have ID). So, straight down the police station and they will now investigate. The shop has cctv which can hopefully identify them.

 

I know it sounds harsh but we are absolutely at the end of our tether with him - he's refusing to go to school, staying out late at night, we know he's dealing drugs - or a 'runner' I think is the expression and this is why he desperately needs money all the time. We don't want drugs in the house or any repercussions from irate parents or drug dealers and the effect it is all having on OJ is devestating. I am liaising with the local police who want to shut the drugs ring in this area and I'm naming names and doing whatever I can to get him out of it even if that means he is arrested and has to deal with those consequences.

 

Ok, rant over!!! Have bought OJ the WOW expansion pack that came out today so at least he has something to play!!

 

Stella xx

[bid]

I think you've done exactly the right thing, Stella...but poor you <'>

 

Bid <'>

[NickyB]

I know it sounds harsh but we are absolutely at the end of our tether with him - he's refusing to go to school, staying out late at night, we know he's dealing drugs - or a 'runner' I think is the expression and this is why he desperately needs money all the time. We don't want drugs in the house or any repercussions from irate parents or drug dealers and the effect it is all having on OJ is devestating. I am liaising with the local police who want to shut the drugs ring in this area and I'm naming names and doing whatever I can to get him out of it even if that means he is arrested and has to deal with those consequences.

 

I think you're being incredibly brave to take a stand - it must be really hard. I hope things get better for you all soon

 

<'>

 

[Enid]

Oh Stella, poor you, you really need him living somewhere else, so that you dont have to worry about him in the house when you are all at work, sending you <'> <'> Enid

[Stella63]

Thanks guys

 

Enid that is the problem, it is just impossible for that to happen. SS aren't interested and as he is 16 in a couple of weeks I understand that they would not use foster care from then on. So what are the options?????

 

Stella xx

[Clare63]

I think you have run out of choices and that you have made a very brave decision, yes it does sound harsh but what else is there left to do.

 

Thinking of you, you must be at the end of your tether <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Clare x x x

Edited November 13, 2008 by Clare63

[soraya]

Poor you, sending lots of <'> <'> This could so easily be happening to Nick, drugs are so frightening you are doing the right thing, my Nick stole some bits from the fishing shop, but my husband would not go to the police, which l disagreed with, but l know how you feel.

[joybed]

Stella for what it is worth i think you are doing the right thing but also appreciate how hard it must be. Not sure i could be that brave. It is so hard when their behaviour affects the whole family. Drugs are a terrible thing and make people do the worst things. the amount of patients I have looked after who are desperate to keep thier babies but just can,t get off drugs long enough to allow this to to happen. Hope you get through to him soon and that OJ is OK. Sending you lots of <'>

[Kathryn]

Stella <'> <'>, and poor OJ, I really feel for him.

 

I hope there's some respite soon for you from all of this.

 

K x

 

 

 

 

[JsMum]

 

 

I think it is really brave what your doing, not many would do what your doing because there too scared, drugs are destructive to all, and what your doing is commendable, I agree, there is no choices left, other than let him experience the consequences, you have done all you can and you have to protect oj now, he is your main concern, poor lad, I really do hope that something can be done, if he is 16yrs old soon, you could remove him from your home and social services would have to take him on, its in the Childrens Act.

 

JsMuM

 

[Stella63]

Hi,

 

Well it all kicked off again last night!! We had told AJ if we found any drugs in the house we would hand it over to the police. He came in had his dinner and went upstairs leaving his coat in the lounge. We found a bag of cannabis and a grinder so took it and phoned the police. While DH was talking to them AJ realised what had happened and went ballistic, found another metal pole and started smashing holes in the wall in his bedroom and along the landing. We phoned 999 and he was arrested. DH went to get him at 2.00 am and he has been charged with possession, threatening behaviour and criminal damage. I haven't seen him yet, he's still asleep and am dreading any more confrontation BUT we did what we said we were going to do cos it just can't carry on like this. There is still the matter of the stolen games and he will be arrested for that in the next few days.

 

He will obviously try and persuade us to drop the charges and I think we have to stay firm on this but it is going to be extremely difficult.

 

Will let you know what happens.

 

Stella xx

 

ps. He is up in court on his 16th birthday - divine justice!!!!???

[Enid]

oh god stella, what a nightmare, why did you not leave him for the night? they would have had to find somewhere then. thinking of you all. you did the right thing. <'> <'> Enid

[NickyB]

Stella <'>

[pookie170]

Yikes, Stella, poor you guys, its a nightmare that can happen to anyone.

 

I think you're doing the right thing- he definitely needs to experience the consequences, and it's not as if you didn't warn him.

I wonder, if the police know of any schemes or projects that might be of use to you guys? Or perhaps the SS might know of something?

My thoughts are with you, I hope things get easier soon.

 

Take care,

 

Esther x

[Stella63]

Thanks for the support everyone - it really does help!!!

 

The local police are organising a day out (or in) at a local prison for him - its a proper recognised scheme that in some cases helps the offender to see that life down that route is not an enjoyable one. They are also trying to get him on an outward bound weekend. I have to say the police are incredibly supportive - unlike SS who haven't bothered to get in touch AT ALL!!!

 

We have told AJ all charges stand and if we find drugs again we will do exactly the same thing - he doesn't seem bothered by it at all.

 

At the moment I am more concerned about the effect this is having on OJ who is struggling to understand why in his eyes nothing has been done to stop AJ. I have been intouch with victim support to see if there is counselling available but it seems to be a bit of a grey area. If anyone has any ideas please let me know. Although he is talking to some of the LSA's at school, I feel that he needs someone who understands his AS etc who can help him talk through everything. He is a victim in all this and I am worried that this could lead to another breakdown.

 

Stella xx

[Moll]

Sending you a PM