Are there too many boards on this forum?

[Emum]

I joined this forum many years ago, when it was affectionately known as krism, but it has changed out of all recognition since those days, to the extent that I hardly ever post these days and don't read it anywhere nearly as often as I did.

 

Back in the good old days, the forum was first and foremost a place where people came for advice and for support in the tough times, and my understanding was that this was the reason why Kris and Elefan started it in the first place. There were occasional disagreements over controversial issues such as diet or MMR, but on the whole it was a friendly and welcome place to be.

 

Roll on 3 or 4 years, with a multitude of boards, which perhaps encourage people to post more widely, and it is often an unpleasant and bitchy place to be. There are a plethora of threads from people who are leaving in a huff (or not really but want to be begged to stay, often more than once), there are nasty personal attacks on the most innocuous of threads, mods seem to fall with alarming regularity due to the abuse they're subjected to behind the scenes, and a lot of the worthwhile parts of the forum get buried in the dross. I used to point parents of newly diagnosed children here as a useful starting point, but to be honest haven't thought that was suitable for some time.

 

So with all that in mind, would it be sensible to reduce the number of boards back down to Education and Help and Advice, which seem to be the two which stick most closely to the original aims of the forum, and discourage the nastiness which seems to now be endemic? Those who want the kind of backbiting stuff which currently rears its head in general discussion (which wouldn't fit in to help and advice) and off topic could perhaps take themselves off to facebook or somewhere else and fight with each other to their hearts content, without a mod having to take the flak for removing the worst of it, and parents who just want to support their child and occasionally to touch base with others in the same position in a supportive and civilised way, could come back to the board.

Edited November 14, 2008 by Kathryn
To remove comment in accordance with forum rules

[something_different]

I like the beyond adolesance board and the off topic board so reducing it to just

 

Education and Help and advice for me would be unsuitable.

 

I also think the meet and greet board is essential.

[Mumble]

parents who just want to support their child and occasionally to touch base with others in the same position in a supportive and civilised way, could come back to the board.

ASDs affect adults as well as children. There are many forums out there just for parents - I came here because it was a supportive environment for adults too, unlike many of the adult only/ASD only forums. If this forum were to become parent only, not only would many lose a vital source of support (and please remember that every child posted about by parents here will grow up to be an autistic adult and may need such a place of support themselves) but (and I hope this doesn't come across as arrogant) parents would lose a vital source of understanding which those on the spectrum can give.

 

 

[Emum]

Meet and Greet isn't always being used as intended though. If it were just being used by newbies to introduce themselves it would be different, but that's where a lot of the personal digs and vendettas are starting off.

 

I haven't looked in Beyond Adolescence, as my children aren't, so apolgies for not mentioning it specifically.

 

Off Topic though surely is a good one to go, on the basis it is by its very definition off topic of the forum, and there is as much unpleasantness as light hearted stuff over there.

 

Also, my point is not which boards people enjoy posting in, but more what the forum is for. I am not referring to you here Something Different, as I don't know you and don't know what you post, but I am quite sure those who are regularly picking arguments and being vindictive and aggressive to others get a huge amount of enjoyment from their cyber-bullying or cyber-smart-alecness. Whether that's a reason to encourage it on a board like this, which certainly started as a SUPPORT forum is a different question, and there are other places on the internet where they could take this kind of thing.

[Emum]

ASDs affect adults as well as children. There are many forums out there just for parents - I came here because it was a supportive environment for adults too, unlike many of the adult only/ASD only forums. If this forum were to become parent only, not only would many lose a vital source of support (and please remember that every child posted about by parents here will grow up to be an autistic adult and may need such a place of support themselves) but (and I hope this doesn't come across as arrogant) parents would lose a vital source of understanding which those on the spectrum can give.

 

And again to clarify, I wasn't for a moment suggesting that adults with ASD weren't welcome and that the forum should be for parents only. However I was suggesting a move back to support, and a move away from the aggression and backbiting, which imho is inappropriate in a forum where people are coming for help with situations which are causing them considerable amounts of stress.

 

If you put people off by the nastiness which is endemic, those same people will not come back to hunt out the useful stuff which is on the forum which has the potential to greatly improve the lives of both those on the spectrum and their families

[something_different]

I think off topic is an important part of the forum (for me)

 

I like the social aspect of little games, posting poems, quizzes, things from you tube etc (like my remember these posts).

I enjoy reading other peoples posts on off topic even if i don't always reply.

 

 

 

I left the forum for a long time, but came back recently and i would hate for the off topic section to dissapear.

 

I believe in my experience most cyber bullying happens via PM anyway, so its better to have a public place to chat where things can be moderated.

 

 

[something_different]

I know you are only suggesting this because you want this forum to be a safe and happy place for people to get support and advice, we all want that.

[Mumble]

I don't know if I'm angry or upset at another thread of this nature coming up - probably both

 

The use and/or abuse of 'Meet & Greet' has been discussed at length and I'm sure these threads are still there for reading. It is actually a very long time since such 'abuse' has occurred. The last person to post a forum leaving message was actually positive about the forum and clearly explained that her reasons for leaving were not to do with the forum.

 

To suggest that 'off topic' is off topic... [irony]erm, well, the clue's in the title [/irony] For me, 'Off Topic' adds a degree of light relief to what could otherwise be rather heavy subject matter and it allows members to show more of their true personalities and for everyone (regular everyones) to feel they better know each other. Plus, if it weren't for off-topic, there would be no area for the hosting of the annual virtual New Years Party...

 

As has been said many, many times, if you (generic you) don't like it, you (generic you) don't have to read it....

 

As to cyber-bullying etc. yes, there was not long ago quite a degree of nastiness, but, as has been said in others' posts on various threads where this has been brought up again recently, much of this was to do with things going on 'behind the scenes' that most people are unaware of (and even those who are 'aware' may not be aware of everything). This has been, in my view, resolved to a degree where normal service could be resumed and that is, what I thought was happening. It upset me a lot that such things would be brought up again - I thought I was good at holding a grudge, but it seems I'm actually pretty 'normal' in that respect (well something about me has to be normal ). I wish people would be able to move past this and just accept, OK, things happened, but we're moving on. What happened has no impact on those not involved and I for one am not going to share details on an open forum (both through self-respect and respect for others' privacy) particularly when there is no need. Everyone, both directly involved and not involved, needs to move on.

 

I haven't looked in Beyond Adolescence, as my children aren't

As an ASD adult, I value having a place I can get support. In 5/10/20 years there will, I suspect, be a massive influx of dx'ed ASD adults, many of whom will be wanting/expecting to live more independently as an adult and will be looking for the sort of support I get from this forum which doesn't exist elsewhere. At the moment there are fewer of us as we are potentially the 'lucky' ones to have been able to get a dx as an adult so the lack of places we 'belong' is less stark. Other places could learn from this forum.

[Jadensmum]

I think you're being really unfair to be honest and making many sweeping generalisations Emum. By starting this new thread you are bound to cause the kind of discussion you apparently don't want to see on here.

 

I also joined the forum a few years ago and yes it was different then. But that's life. People come and go, people's circumstances change...it's just the way it goes with this forum and the same with other forums I am a member of.

 

People come to this forum for support and advice and from what I can see they get excellent support and advice from may people who are in similar positions to them.

 

Obviously, people are going to get stressed out and upset from time to time and discussions are going to get heated. Life wouldn't be very interesting if everyone were the same and agreed on everything.

 

I'm going to leave this now as I can't seem to word my post correctly without stating the obvious.

[Flora]

Gosh this forum is coming in for a bashing today isn't it????

 

Hey guys, reality check... We don't have to walk 50 miles for fresh water; our kids aren't riving around in agony with horrible parasites; We all have enough food to eat and put the central heating on when it gets too cold or sit in the shade when it gets too hot; need I go on? We are all in many many ways extremely fortunate so lets stop complaining about TRIVIA.

 

Anyway.... I'm off to get ready for a lovely birthday night (once I've removed the knife from my back

 

Flora

[bikemad]

Myself I use the help n advice, medication, education and the general discussion board.

 

Personally I love this forum and have found so much support on it from lovely people...never seen a bitchy comment on here n think the board is fine as it is.

[Emum]

The thing is Mumble, I don't often read the forum any more because it is regularly so nasty.

 

Therefore I have no idea what has happened to you (or others) behind the scenes, and that's not what I'm referring to. What I am referring to is the overt nastiness throughout the forum. Not on every thread by all means, and I try to avoid the ones which it should be obvious by their titles are vicious, but the insidious backbiting pervades the whole forum. That's what puts me and many others off. I'm not holding any grudges, just commenting on a situation which seems to me to have been ongoing for some time.

 

Moreover, this thread isn't about rehashing why any particular bit of nastiness has or hasn't started. I haven't been involved in any of it, and don't want to be. The thread is simply posing the question whether re-structuring the forum would improve the situation. You may be happy with the status quo. It's still valid to ask whether everyone else is though, and if people are leaving in droves because of it, to pose the question should we "move with the times" and be a more aggressive kind of place to appease the new blood, or make attempts to get back to what we once were, to stop oldies from moving on and attract in others who are in need.

 

After all, it isn't to say there isn't a place somewhere on the internet for a more volatile cut and thrust debate. Just to ask whether that's what Kris and Elefan wanted when they started this one, and whether its what they still want, given what a thankless task modding seems to be at the moment, and assuming the situation is still (as it once was) that the forum was privately funded by its originators.

[bikemad]

Ive never seen a nasty or bitchy comment on here!!!!!!!!!!!! If we all agreed them my god wouldnt it be a boring world!!!!!

[Clare63]

I tend to focus on boards and threads which either interest or effect me. I bit like TV, if I don't like whats on a channel I switch over !

 

As I always say, everyone is only human and everyone is different that's what makes the world go round.

 

Clare x x x

[Mumble]

We all have enough food to eat and put the central heating on when it gets too cold

Have you not heard of the credit crunch?

 

 

[baddad]

Hi E mum -

 

Thanks for the vote of support for the mods - They ALL (past and present) deserve it I'll not comment on that further 'cos I'm still reeling from the latest round...

 

Moving onto the subject of too many boards...

 

It's a bit of a catch 22 actually, because as the membership has grown it's sort of demanded all sorts of extensions and wings to accommodate 'em all

The 'beyond adolescence' is, I think, a really good/useful addition and the others are more just bits that have evolved from other bits. While that may make the front page look a bit busier, it's probably better than expanding the various sections to include more 'tiers' or sub-sections, because it keeps stuff accessible.

I used to really enjoy the 'off-topic' area, and hope one day the 'spirit of the batcave' may rise there again... maybe we should do another 'beautiful babies' or 'tragic teens' compo or something like that?

Meet and greet, I think, is still a really good idea for new members to dip their toes in - i think you just have to watch out for verrucas and the odd floating plaster some days though

 

[fiorelli]

In Answer to the question, Are there too many boards on this forum, I have to say that no, I don't think there are. Each different board has a specific purpose, and makes it so much easier to find information or to get the right 'readers' for your post, if this was condensed down, I think because of the sheer amount of people on here now, this would be disastrous. (although I don't think that it needs to get any bigger

 

I am a member of another online forum (just a general one, not one related to ASD), and they are just coming through something similar on that forum too. Lots of Members, old ones, new ones, in the middle ones, all vying to try and find their place in amongst the 'community'. The forum itself has gone through some major changes, including a completely new forum provider, to make it able to cope with the sheer amounts of people on there now. Not to mention the obligatory Trolls - which thankfully we don't seem to get on here, and hacks. (I am coming to a point, honestly) This all caused some pretty major upsets, ructions caused within the community, quite a few arguments, people 'leaving', people coming back, management stepping in when things got really quite difficult.

 

However, that forum is now pretty much out of that now, the community has (largely) stuck together, worked through problems, and has come out the other side bigger and better.

 

As is life, the online forum 'community' is going to have problems. People are going to disagree, people are going to gravitate towards their 'friends' more than others and back them up, but problems need to be worked through and addressed for anything to get resolved.

 

I too, used to be here when we were 'Krism', and yes, we were a lot smaller, and so we got to 'know' each other better and problems never seemed that big, but I think we are a lot better as we are now, because of the amount of members there are now, there are a lot more people to give their advice, or their support, or more people needing help to deal with certain situations that arise, or even more people to debate with! and because of this I think we are a lot stronger, because it is opening up horizons and views, helping to make possible (even if it is only a hint of hope) that, yes, things can change, things can get better. That no, I am not alone, there are others out there who know exactly what living with ASDs is like.

 

Please, yes it is okay to air how you are feeling, but there are ways of doing it without attacking something/one. That is not going to get anyone or anything anywhere.

 

Fiorelli xx

[dooday24]

i agree totally that we r all different and look for different topics and help and suport from areas which i need at the time i spend most of my time on off topic and general discussion but other times i have a look at other areas. i love this forum and dont know wat id do without the help and support i get here...

i think it is good how it is and dont know wat the problem is

 

love donnaxxxx we shud b all suporting each other not causing sensless arguments xxxxxxx

[Sooze2]

I havn't seen any nastiness here, I don't know about the last week or so because I havn't been here. There have been differences in opinion but you will get that anywhere - compared to the school playground where I am when the adults are waiting for the kids to come out this is like a lovely fluffy pink blankie I can tell you.

 

When reading posts I work on the basis that if I don't like the content I stop reading and go on to the next one.

 

 

[NickyB]

i agree totally that we r all different and look for different topics and help and suport from areas which i need at the time i spend most of my time on off topic and general discussion but other times i have a look at other areas. i love this forum and dont know wat id do without the help and support i get here...

i think it is good how it is and dont know wat the problem is

 

love donnaxxxx we shud b all suporting each other not causing sensless arguments xxxxxxx

 

I'm with you donna. I have found all the areas of the forum useful at different times. Maybe we should all get back to what we do best - supporting each other

 

<'>

[Tally]

From what I have seen, the nastiness actually comes from an extremely small number of people. The vast majority of members here are looking fro support and advice, and really don't give a toss about who is the most respected or has the most power. Which is why the nastiness is so silly really.

[Kathryn]

I started off here as a Krismite and over four years ( ) there have been a lot of changes - I can see that when I look back over my old threads.

 

As far as I remember there were only three boards - Gen Discussion, Help and Advice and Education. Most people were parents posting for advice about educational issues. I think as people get to know each other they inevitably want to chat about other things and Off Topic was started to accommodate the increasing number of non ASD related threads which were cluttering up the other boards.

 

Inevitably the profile has changed over time and so the general feel of the forum has changed, but I don't think that's a bad thing. There are a lot more members than there used to be, and an increasing number of adults seeking support for themselves. Unfortunately there are a few things that remain the same - the issues I faced 4 years ago are still being faced by parents today. Giving practical advice and support is something this forum still does as well as ever: there are an ever increasing number of members with experience to pass on. When someone leaves for whatever reason, it's sad because that experience is then lost, but people can't stick around for ever.

 

Whether people are leaving in droves - I'm not sure about that. I think whatever the final reason, people tend to leave when the forum has largely served its purpose for them and their lives have moved on. UnlessI'm being very dim, I don't see evidence of pervasive nastiness, usually the forum is quiet and people self moderate most of the time.

 

K x

[barefoot wend]

I find the forum 'richer' now than when I first joined and still get a good deal from it even though I hardly ever post.

 

Initially it seemed like a cosy nuclear family but now it feels like an extended family that has more differences which add new perspectives up for consideration and discussion.

 

Barefoot

[Flora]

Speaking as a member now .

 

I joined the forum nearly 3 1/2 years ago. It was called Krism but as I didn't even notice the changeover that isn't significant to me.

 

It was extremely friendly, welcoming and as I had found it in a time of desperation it was also hugely helpful and supportive. 3 years later, I believe all those elements still exist.

 

A very small handful of members have very publically left the forum. Most of them have done it as a public way of garnering sympathy and also as a manipulative way of making others look bad (this is backed up by the fact that most of them came back!). They are probably the same sort of people who storm out of the room during an argument and expect the other person to come running after them

 

There is a very small number of members (tiny in comparison to the size of the membership, but fairly active) who do not post in, what I would describe as, good faith. They post things knowing for a fact that some people are going to be needled/upset/offended etc, or they post topics that they know will eventually lead to all of those things. It is that element that are causing/have caused the aggravation. Fortunately or unfortunately (depending on which way you look at it) the majority of the members do not know why this is happening and so they are confused and uncomfortable.

 

If those people would let it lie, ie if they would just give up and stop trying to manipulate the forum into what they seem to want it to be, and just let it be what it is, then there's a chance that the good humour might return and nobody will feel like they are ducking and diving or having to switch off the pc just to avoid rising to the bait!

 

When I joined this forum I didn't even know what a statement was. Within 3 years I went from not knowing what a statement was to winning a very big tribunal for all parts of the statement and fabulous school for my son. Maybe I would have got there in the end without the forum. However, it would have taken me longer and I would have done it without the support from people who understood, had been there and knew the system from a 'users' pov. I've said this before and I'll say it again; there's a wealth of experience and knowledge within the membership of this forum that you couldn't put a price on; don't be so quick to undermine it.

 

Flora

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Enid]

Blimy flora, as a member who posts here in sheer desperation some/mosts night, I wasnt a bit confused and uncomfortable, but I am now!!!! <'> Enid

[Pippin]

I've just wandered over to another couple of fora I frequent and counted their boards. They range from 15 to 27....so I find only 9 here quite refreshing. The level of antagonism on here is WAY less than anywhere else I look and, considering the stress we're all under, I think that is quite remarkable.

[Suze]

I too miss the old times of Krism, but things change and develop and largely the forum is still the great place it used to be.

...........there is however an element of using and abusing by some members seeking to attract attention to themselves and paint others in a bad light.Alot more goes on behind the scenes I,m sure, I just wish these members would back off and get back to the true nature of the forum.

 

............

[Flora]

I too miss the old times of Krism, but things change and develop and largely the forum is still the great place it used to be.

...........there is however an element of using and abusing by some members seeking to attract attention to themselves and paint others in a bad light.Alot more goes on behind the scenes I,m sure, I just wish these members would back off and get back to the true nature of the forum.

 

............

 

Very succintly put Suze. Straight to the point without all the waffle.

 

Floz <'>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I think you raised some valid points in this post and your original one. At the moment feelings are running high over recent posts.

 

I wonder if there are two separate issues here, having read another post yesterday which spiralled out of control before being closed.

 

I personally think that categorising topics is helpful for those looking for more specific advise eg on Education, however, I personally tend just to look at new topics. I think it very much depends on what you're looking for and how you use this forum.

 

Irrespective of the number of boards, I don't think that this will stop backbiting, being sarcastic, bitching, etc.

 

The other issue, which I think was touched on in the same post that I referred to earlier, covered this ... I've been a member for a couple of years and have found it invaluable. I've noted that there are occasions when people can get over-sensitive/personal/nasty/etc - posts spiral. However, there have been several occasions when I've been surprised at the way in which one or two mods have conducted themselves - had the last word in a way which has resulted in them being perceived or embroilled them into being equally bitchy). I wonder if mods should moderate but not actively post - I believe this enable them to be urrefutably objective and avoid personal attacks on them. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I feel it's difficult to be objective or be seen to be objective, particularly when there's involvement in a post which spirals and for someone not to take umbridge. It seems that one or two mods have stood down because they've felt they've been unable to be in both camps. My genuine intention is not to have a pop at mods - for what it's worth, I think they do a good job for not a lot in return - but because they're at the top, they do take flak for expressing an opinion and moderating. Very difficult to do both.

 

I think given the nature of ASDs and given the audience/users on this forum that a lot of us as desperate for advice, support, etc. It's inevitable that not everyone is going to agree with things and that's what's good about this forum - as a parent I may have a fixed view on something and it's good that someone whose not in agreement with me can offer a different perspective and as a result help. Key is that it's all done in a respectful way.

 

Really hope that the forum can continue to be a positive source of support.

 

Caroline.

[MelowMeldrew]

I would leave if it was (A) a notice board, or ( a clique', I don't want that. Talking over related issues and the different ways we approach them is fine. We are parents under stress, that's the nub of it, sometimes we read outside the specific areas of cures, and the rest and we know this works for next to no autistic at all, because no cures exist, and, should we be looking for them anyway? if we are looking for a cure, then we aren't accepting what our children are are we ?

 

Can't say I have seen nasty responses either. We are adults, and in that area you will find disagreement with approaches and such. Anything abusive I feel confident would get the boot pretty quick, because again none of us would stay here to get that. There is no norm in autism, so no basic approach you can really take, our children are all special and individual, as are parental approaches to it. As an avenue to let off steam ? not altogether a bad idea ! and at least here we share similar issues and understand. Which is I think the whole point of the forum.

 

If you want contacts to official sources, then there are other places, or your own areas where you live.

[something_different]

Also a thing to remember back in the 'old days' things like this still happend, people still got upset and left, so changing the number of boards will not stop threads going out of comtroll and arguments starting. Back then their was less members so their may have been less of it. But it still happend. I left the forum after one of those 'behinde the scenes' disagreements it did not directly involve me but did involve a friend of mine at the time who had helped me through a lot and without the support from her i didn't have a need for the forum.

 

 

 

sorry i went on a little too much their.

[Flora]

However, there have been several occasions when I've been surprised at the way in which one or two mods have conducted themselves - had the last word in a way which has resulted in them being perceived or embroilled them into being equally bitchy). I wonder if mods should moderate but not actively post - I believe this enable them to be urrefutably objective and avoid personal attacks on them. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but I feel it's difficult to be objective or be seen to be objective, particularly when there's involvement in a post which spirals and for someone not to take umbridge.

 

Caroline,

 

mod's are only human. How many people would be willing to give up their right to post and have an opinion in exchange for moderating the forum? Even if there were several volunteers in this category, the fact that they were once active on the forum means they are still going to be open to accusations of favouritism/bias etc. If mods were recruited who had never been an active member prior to being mod, then the accusations would be 'well you don't understand'.

 

It seems that one or two mods have stood down because they've felt they've been unable to be in both camps

.

 

That's not the case as I understand it. I can only speak for myself of course; I didn't stand down because I was 'unable to be in both camps'. I stood down because being a mod equates to being a human dart board. As an oridinary member if someone has an issue with me, at least they can't blame the management team anymore, which is exactly what happened yesterday! On a more personal note, the fact I'm no longer a mod means that those who do have issue with the mods in general will no longer be able to hide behind that as an excuse for having a pop at me... or put it another way.... if they have issue with me then they can't use my mod status as an excuse for being 'offended' by my very existence.

 

My genuine intention is not to have a pop at mods - for what it's worth, I think they do a good job for not a lot in return - but because they're at the top, they do take flak for expressing an opinion and moderating. Very difficult to do both.

 

Yes, but it shouldn't be. They should be allowed to express an opinion (with the mod hat off) without it reflecting on the forum management as a whole, or on their ability/suitability as a mod.

 

Flora

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Emum]

I didn't want to just read and run, without making it obvious that I am reading what people say and thinking about it.

 

I agree that the subdivisions do make it easier to find posts which will be of interest. I suppose I still feel though that by opening up the range of issues which people now post on, something was lost from the original aim.

 

I don't have a problem with people disagreeing or expressing contrary opinions. I do have a problem with sly digs and jibes, coded messages about posters, and in fact anything which is posted on here which the person would think twice about saying in a face to face setting. Perhaps it isn't as well understood by some posters as it might be that it is as hurtful and unacceptable to be unpleasant to someone on an internet forum or by PM as it is to say something rude or hurtful to someone in real life. The thing about the internet though is that posts are widely read and a nasty spat between 2 individuals will affect others too, whether because they join in and take sides, or because they just pick up on the whole unpleasant vibe.

 

I do agree with Flora and Sooze that I think the majority on the forum do not behave in this way, and that it is a small few who fuel the flames. HOWEVER I don't think its helpful to speculate here or elsewhere as to who those small few are, and given that there are a small handful of mods, I felt the criticism of their behavior as members was uncalled for. It is possible to make a valid point about how the modding system might be altered (or the board restructured) without specifically singling people out for criticism, whether by name or implication.

 

I didn't want this thread to descend into mudslinging (and it hasn't quite done so yet), though I am now starting to be concerned that it may do so, and that actually its not even possible to talk about the problem without inciting the very thing I was expressing concens about. If the mods did want to close it at this point, before we go there, I'd be OK with that.

Edited November 15, 2008 by Emum

[aro]

I don't find the number of boards a problem, my only concern is the number of stickies, I find it a bit tedious to scroll down nearly a whole screen (in Edc especially) to get to the posts. Would it be possible to do some house cleaning with them, group a few together, delete out of date ones etc?

 

Thanks,

 

A x

[Stella63]

I can honestly say that I love this forum - it has enabled me to learn from other peoples experiences, be able to offer advice and make friends who understand what our lives are like.

 

Like a few have already said, I pick and choose what to look at, depending on what is going on in my life at any particular moment and there are times when I have been in the depths of despair, I have gone into Off Topic and read something extremely funny (cos there are lots of members with the most incredible sense of humour!) and it has cheered me up!

 

I, for one, would not be without it, warts and all!!!

 

Stella xx

[Enid]

I too love this forum, it keeps me sane at night!!! especially when I have had a truly awful time, BUT I have been slighty irritated this week, when wanting to reply to a topic which had been hijacked by what another member called, (cant remember who) "smart alecness" <'> Enid

[baddad]

I too love this forum, it keeps me sane at night!!! especially when I have had a truly awful time, BUT I have been slighty irritated this week, when wanting to reply to a topic which had been hijacked by what another member called, (cant remember who) "smart alecness" <'> Enid

 

Hi enid/all -

 

Enid, do you really think it would help the situation to reiterate a term like 'smart alecness' in a thread trying to pour oil on troubled waters? I'm not sure of the context in which the comment was first made (perhaps you could send me a link?), but whether it was relevent in that case or not, it's not an accusation that should be made 'third hand' and as a generalisation. What may seem 'smart alecness' to one person if they are feeling aggrieved could seem a perfectly reasonable argument to others, or to someone who disagrees with the original point. I'm cautious of any word that has the potential to 'gainsay' an argument or to provide a 'victim' culture which by definition labels someone else as an 'aggressor' (you can't have on without the other, as the old saying goes). That's not to say that 'gainsay' words can't be used 'legitimately' or reasonably, but I do think they should be used with caution.

 

C Muir - I totally disagree with the idea that mods should be 'gagged', and i also did not step down because i felt uncomfortable about having 'feet in two camps'. I have stated my reasons for stepping down openly on forum, and the problems I stated was not one that I had with moderating but one that I had with people unofficially moderating.

 

[Emum]

The smart-alecness quote was lifted from my post 4 in this thread, Baddad, and as I have absolutely no idea what thread you think Enid might be referring to, it wasn't intended by me, or very possibly by her, to refer to any one situation, but to a theme which recurs.

 

I think what this thread has shown, if nothing else, is that whilst some members are happy with how things are, I am by no means alone in finding some aspects of the forum problematic. Whether that's something we can work towards fixing or not is another question entirely. It certainly can't be done though if a big picture disussion about the situation descends into an examination of individual issues which have arisen.

[Cat]

I have been trying soooo hard to stay out of this and the other thread but I just gave up. I have been a member here for a very long time. I have always loved this place it has saved my sanity on more than one occassion but it has changed and that is fine because everything evolves, BUT moderation here has changed and unlike Kris I do NOT believe that a mod on an ASD forum can take off their mods hat whenever they feel like it. Members might indeed set the tone of the forum, although everything that I have read about good moderation says that moderators are the one who should be doing this, but the mods can choose to either inflame or defuse a situation.

 

This is a forum where a great many people with autism post and that is why I think that the position of the mods needs to be clearly defined so that we all know where we stand. Being able to put a hat on and take it off depening on how the mood suits you at the time is confusing for everyone but must be even more so for adults with autism. I know for a fact that with my two sons you either 'are' or 'are-not' something with my sons. There is no inbetween and no shades of grey only black and white.

 

I do tend to stay well out of any behind the scenes pm's and I was going to mail this to Kris personally but I have decided to post here instead. I am probably one of the most opinionated people here but even I hopefully know when to shut up and stop inflaming a situation.

 

It is not the amount of areas where we can post that causes the problems here it is us ourselves and moderators with revolving hats.

Cat

Edited November 15, 2008 by Cat

[Emum]

I'm not sure though Cat that all the difficulties are caused by the adults with autism posting! I'm sure that wasn't what you were intending to suggest, and am also pretty sure that some of the stuff I've read which has struck me as off key has been from adults who haven't disclosed at least that they have an autism diagnosis.

 

Your point though is along the same theme as my original thoughts though - which is that part of the problem is caused by the way the forum has evolved and how it is now structured. Whether we are talking about the number of boards, or the rules about what mods should and shouldn't do, its all about creating a framework where everyone knows clearly what the boundaries are, and maybe on a board like this one, extra care needs to be taken to make them crystal clear.

 

IMHO there is a world of difference between for example (and I'm using generic examples which I've seen come up again and again rather than refer to any one situation whether old or new) a heated debate on whether MMR is implicated in the onset of autism (which I think is the kind of thing the board was originally intended for), and a thread about some random trivia or passing observation descending into argy bargy about a person's fitness as a parent, good manners, etc (often when it seems there is a whole different agenda to the exchanges happening behind the scenes). I haven't noticed this happening due to any action on the part of the mods, but it does seem to me to happen most often on threads which aren't really adding much to the sum of human knowledge in the first place, which paradoxically are the ones which you might start to read as a spot of diversion from every day life only to wish you hadn't bothered in the first place!