DLA

[Paula]

I claim DLA middle allowance for my son have done for years i also get careres allowance.Anyway ive received a letter from the dla saying that has my son is approaching 16 he is entitled to have the money paide direct to him and manage his own affaires if i think hes capable of doing so.

 

 

Of course i dont think hes capable of dealing with the dla folks and other stuff and form filling...........but there saying if i say hes not then someone will come out and interview me...why...........

 

What im trying to find out is did this happen to anyone else ..................im worried theyll send someone out and because my son can chat and talk and knows about money theyll think im makeing it all up that hes incapable of dealing with stuff and allow him to some extent to over rule me.................

 

 

What did you do anyone been in a similar thing .

 

Thanks

[Kathryn]

Hi Paula,

 

Yes this happened to us when L turned 16. I applied to become her appointee because at that stage she wouldn't have been able to deal with her own affairs, and without this I wouldn't even have been able to discuss her benefit on the phone with the DWP.

 

It was very straightforward actually - someone came to visit and I had all kinds of ID ready and had prepared L for the visit, but she just wanted to confirm my name and address and I had to sign a form. She didn't even want to see L, who was in the next room. She was businesslike but quite pleasant and she didn't stay long.

 

I think the purpose of the visit is mainly to verify your identity and relationship to the child, to prevent any fraud being committed. I doubt the DWP rep would be making a judgement about the child's competence, they aren't qualified to do so.

 

Hope that helps

 

K x

[Kazzen161]

Same as for Kathryn, though we chose to go to the local Jobcentre for the meeting. It was very brief and no problems.

[Paula]

Thankyou

 

Hes not realy capable of dealing with stuff he does understand money.I telephoned the dla folks and they said hed have to deal with everything if he was in charge includeing security checks ect he wouldnt be able to cope not in reality.Ill stick to what were doing now and hope things turn out ok.Seams daft that at 16 they can take care of all there own finacial affaires ect and yet cant buy a pint down the pub or claim job seekers allowance youre either a adult or youre not .

[oxgirl]

Hi Paula, yes we're in the same situation. Jay turns 16 in November and we've recently claimed for DLA again and been awarded another two years. We got the same letter last week asking if he was able to deal with his own affairs and we said no. Thing is, Jay doesn't even know we claim DLA for him, we started claimining when he was quite young and just never discussed it with him and as he's got older the big 'D' word in big letters on the form has always made us hesitate about talking to him about it. Now I'm worried that when they come to visit they will want to see him as well and it will mean actually talking to him about the fact that we claim this for him. It's not the money itself that's the problem, it's the fact of how it will make him feel that we claim it in the first place, iyswim. I sent the form off a couple of days ago and am quite anxious about how to handle things now.

 

~ Mel ~

[Paula]

Thing is my son knows we claime the dla for him he is aware of money and stuff but what happens if i say ill be the apintee someone comes out and he gets it into his awkward aspie head to say i dont want mum doing it..............they listen to him over rule me and hey presto hes attempting to deal with it all and it goes ###### up .............hes not ready not at 16................Once he lost his bankers card he has a bank account i phoned the bank said me sons lost it can you issue us with another and they said they couldnt theyd to speak to him............well he was going beserk ranting yelling no way on earth could they deal with him yet they said hed to confirm who he was do sum sort of security stuff and say it was ok to speak to mum...it was never going to happen i explained he had learning diffiuclties and fat chance of a conversation with him they could hear him in background and they thank god took pity and dealt with me without his say so..............you see in theory hed think he was all grown up could do it in reality the ###### hits the fan...............

 

 

Thanks for youre help..............glad to know im not alone................i mean whats going to happen when hes 18 an adult in eyes of law yet not in his head........

[Sally44]

Thankyou

 

Hes not realy capable of dealing with stuff he does understand money.I telephoned the dla folks and they said hed have to deal with everything if he was in charge includeing security checks ect he wouldnt be able to cope not in reality.Ill stick to what were doing now and hope things turn out ok.Seams daft that at 16 they can take care of all there own finacial affaires ect and yet cant buy a pint down the pub or claim job seekers allowance youre either a adult or youre not .

 

 

I'm sorry to go off topic a bit, but this post made me smile. I am an advocate for my sister who lives and works independently with help. She has moderate learning difficulties and I suspect maybe on the spectrum. Anyway because she works she gets disabled tax credits. But as she cannot deal with the paperwork I complete all of that for her. However, eventhough I am her advocate they always ask to 'speak to the claimant', and the last time they tried to go through the security questions with her - which she failed. So the DTC person would not speak to me. I said, of course she cannot answer the security questions, that is part of her problem. Eventually I had to phone someone else (in a different department) who I could give the information to. On one occasion I got very upset and angry and was crying and shouting to the person at the other end of the phone saying I was going to get a Social Worker who actually gets paid for this level of stress instead of trying to do it for free. They drive me nuts.

 

But your experience is nothing to do with the working tax credit people. But you know whether someone can or cannot deal with the whole process and if they cannot then just have it recorded that you are the advocate. Should be a relatively simple procedure.

[Louisa]

Hi

 

I have just opened a bank account for my daughter's small amount of DLA to go in to, as she turns 16 on Friday.

 

I wasn't sure this was the right thing to do as she isn't very good with money (she loses it, forgets she even had it etc) but I thought it may help her confidence to have her own bank card & be a bit responsible.

 

Hope we don't live to regret it!!

 

x

[oxgirl]

I got a letter on Saturday saying someone will come to our house to talk about Jay's DLA and the fact that, when he turns 16, I'll still be looking after his affairs. Anyone know what they will ask? Had to sit down and talk to Jay about the fact we've been claiming DLA for him all these years. He didn't seem that interested, tbh. He says he's not ready to look after his affairs yet, which we knew, so is happy for me to carry on doing it, but it doesn't make him feel great about himself to have to discuss his 'failings' with people. Does anyone know if the appointment is to ascertain Jay's elibibility to be claiming DLA or is it just a formality to see that he agrees to me looking after the money for him?

 

~ Mel ~

[Kazzen161]

I would guess the latter. When I did it for my son, it was a very brief - is this OK? to my son, and that was it. It's been useful being his appointee recently, as I have had to call IS, DLA, HB/CTB and various other people on his behalf.

[smiley1590]

a lady came round when me and my brother reached can't remember if 16/18 years old? but she asked if we wanted to be responsible for own benefit money we get! we both agreed be better off safer in trusted hands of our mum as when comes to money skills and practical life eseentials we have no chance very weak with little understanding in this area mum buys all we need like clothes,food etc out of it! when we feel up to it ready right we'll swap it over to us! by at this moment in time we feel this best way for everyone involved! we know about 'our money' where it goes my mum hides nothing from us on how spends it each week! and talks through it! i think such a good idea as i'm no good at maths concepts budgeting due to my dyspraxia and AS i have no grasp on fininicial situation soon spiral out of control!!! i feel happier less stressed pressured if mum for not takes care that side of things when times near mum's going to teach me how use own benefit money to support and benefit me! when have own place etc

[oxgirl]

Well, we had the appointment yesterday, it was very uncomfortable. He took a look at Jay, asked him if he was doing his GCSE's next year and basically said he judged him to be capable to looking after his own affairs! Really, he has no idea and I couldn't sit there, in front of Jay, and highlight all his difficulties and explain that he can't do this and that and that, he's a failure at this and that, he feels bad enough about himself as it is. In the end, we found a middle ground. The guy got Jay to sign a statement saying that for the time being he would like me to handle his affairs, but all the DLA stuff will now go to him and he needs to sign everything himself. It's difficult. He's never seen the DLA form that I've filled out for him in the past and to see it all in black and white, just how 'disabled' he really is, I just think it's quite damaging for him. Oh well.

 

~ Mel ~

[Sally44]

Well, we had the appointment yesterday, it was very uncomfortable. He took a look at Jay, asked him if he was doing his GCSE's next year and basically said he judged him to be capable to looking after his own affairs! Really, he has no idea and I couldn't sit there, in front of Jay, and highlight all his difficulties and explain that he can't do this and that and that, he's a failure at this and that, he feels bad enough about himself as it is. In the end, we found a middle ground. The guy got Jay to sign a statement saying that for the time being he would like me to handle his affairs, but all the DLA stuff will now go to him and he needs to sign everything himself. It's difficult. He's never seen the DLA form that I've filled out for him in the past and to see it all in black and white, just how 'disabled' he really is, I just think it's quite damaging for him. Oh well.

 

~ Mel ~

 

Might be worth having a word with a solicitor about being a legal appointee. You could also try complaining to the DLA department stating that the person who came to see you did not have any experience in autism/aspergers and therefore their judgement was not informed as his diagnosis is a lifelong condition that does not disappear at age 16. Services do always go with what the 'client' says. We've had similar problems with my sister expressing her preference and them going along with it to her detriment. Hence we took the legal route. My sister has no understanding of money and all bills are paid by DD through her bank account and she withdraws a certain amount of money every week for food etc and has someone go shopping with her to ensure she buys healthy foods, otherwise it would be a basket full of sweets and chocolate.

I don't see how they can expect your son to sign for things if he has no real understanding of the implication of what he is signing for, and part of his diagnosis is difficulties with the understanding of language (spoken or written).

[Sally44]

A further thought is that all of these things are 'life skills'. Is your son intending to go onto college after school, and if so are there any appropriate courses that also include these types of life skills. This might be the next area you need to push for so that he can maximise his independence. But again it all has to be taught explicitly rather than everyone assuming that he will just pick up these skills.

[Kathryn]

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience oxgirl. It seems then, that there is no consistency in the way these visits are conducted. I can understand why checks need to be done, but as the people doing the checks are clerical rather than medical officers (as far as I know), how qualified are they to make such snap judgements about clients' abilities?

 

I am still my daughter's official appointee but she now has her own bank account and the money gets paid directly to her. She handles her own finances pretty well so far - she could not have done so 4 years ago, so don't give up hope that Jay will be able to deal with everything himself one day. Online banking etc makes it so much easier. I know what you mean about the DLA form though. L has never seen what I have written about her and I hope she never will have to - it's pessimistic reading.

 

K x

Edited August 14, 2009 by Kathryn

[oxgirl]

Thanks for the replies everyone. <'> The thing is, my lad has the understanding as such, but hasn't the practical, physical skills to put his understanding into practice as present. We're working on it, and he'll get there in a few years, I'm sure, but at the moment he's totally dependant on me for everything. He didn't say anything much during the interview, just sat and ate his breakfast and didn't take much interest. It's just the fact that purely on the observation that he could talk and that he was doing a few GCSE's the guy deemed him to be capable of looking after himself. In reality, he can only go to the local shop on his own and relies on someone going with him everywhere else and organizing everything for him. When the guy asked him what he would do with the money if he had control of it, Jay just shrugged and said, 'dunno'.

 

We've reached a compromise in that the money still gets paid into my account. I suppose it's quite good really, it's a step towards independence for him. If he decides he's able to manage a bank account and wants the money paid into it then he can write to the DLA peeps and request it, but that'll never happen, it would never cross his mind, tbh. With him it's ME pushing HIM constantly to do things, he's just happy to sit back and be looked after for as long as he can and this is what holds him back so much. We'll get there, I'm sure.

 

~ Mel ~

[bid]

I'm really sorry Mel

 

The person who visited us was even happy not to talk to my DS at length as I explained he would find that very agitating...think they said hello, then DS disappeared. Very odd, poor you <'>

 

Bid

Edited August 15, 2009 by bid

[Kazzen161]

I took my son to the Job Centre for his interview. He was a bit bored by it and proceeded to ask lots of questions about the Job Centre computer system! We had no problems. I am still Tom's appointee (thank goodness, as we have been trying to sort out ESA/HB/CTB/DLA recently and it has been a nightmare!) and I still get his money at the moment. Soon I will either do a standing order to his account for some/all of it.

[Paula]

 

 

The person from the DLA came out today to visit my son and me and it went realy well............she was dead nice and agreed he wasnt capable of looking after his own finacial affaires..........she said do you want mum to continue to do it or do you think you can do it yourself and he said i want mum to do it................so its all sorted and id got me self all worried over nothing.

[NickyB]

 

 

The person from the DLA came out today to visit my son and me and it went realy well............she was dead nice and agreed he wasnt capable of looking after his own finacial affaires..........she said do you want mum to continue to do it or do you think you can do it yourself and he said i want mum to do it................so its all sorted and id got me self all worried over nothing.

 

That's great news

[oxgirl]

 

 

The person from the DLA came out today to visit my son and me and it went realy well............she was dead nice and agreed he wasnt capable of looking after his own finacial affaires..........she said do you want mum to continue to do it or do you think you can do it yourself and he said i want mum to do it................so its all sorted and id got me self all worried over nothing.

 

That's good news Paula. That's what I wish had happened at our meeting. If the bloke had only asked Jay what he wanted he would have said he wasn't ready to do it himself and he'd prefer me to continue for the time being, but he didn't ask, he just took him on face value and deemed him fit. Of course, it wouldn't cross Jay's mind to contradict, he was too busy munching his Cherios to take much notice, but if he'd just asked him rather tham making assumptions himself we would all have been happier.

 

~ Mel ~

[Kathryn]

Glad it went well Paula. It's good that people have shared their different experiences here - it will help other parents going through the process to be prepared for anything!

 

K x

[Paula]

Can i just point out something the lady said to me and it might help others

 

 

 

She said that it was nice to go into a house where the people chatted to her in a freindly way..........she said often the parents gave one word ansers and came across as unfreindly and guarded.I offered her a cup of tea........i chatted openly and gave background info on me son i told her about our expericances with the LEA and how great the school was he was in now and that he was of to France.She chatted back and asked if i was claimeing all i was entitled to and explained what i m ay be able to claime...........she spoke to my son who granted only gave one word answers she was realy nice.

 

Id say just be yourself be open chatty freindly like she daid there not there to catch you out .........i also said i realise looking at my son he can appear to be normal to be fine and dandy but its tiny unseen things that you only realise when you live with them.............she agreead.

 

 

When she left after half an hour she said how great it had been to be in a house where the person chatted away in a freindly manner.these people are probably met with a lot of hositlity i mean i was warey and worried and thought they were there to cause agro.............i was wrong.

[SuzyQ]

I know this might be the wrong place to ask, but my DD has AS and has been in a psych hospital for 8 months and is now going to a 52 week a year placement, but she doesn't get DLA as I haven't applied for it...could she still get it? we have spent the last 8 months driving a round trip of 130 miles every weekend to visit or to pick her up for a home visit and her new placement will be a minimum 6 hour drive one way!!! so we have added expense there also we still provide some food and normal stuff teenager's need, so should I apply?

 

[chris54]

I know this might be the wrong place to ask, but my DD has AS and has been in a psych hospital for 8 months and is now going to a 52 week a year placement, but she doesn't get DLA as I haven't applied for it...could she still get it? we have spent the last 8 months driving a round trip of 130 miles every weekend to visit or to pick her up for a home visit and her new placement will be a minimum 6 hour drive one way!!! so we have added expense there also we still provide some food and normal stuff teenager's need, so should I apply?

 

I would apply, but the things you mention, your expenses don't really come into it, it is about the extra support that your daughter need that are taken into account.

[Paula]

Id apply for it im sure that as long as ther person who is claiming is in youre care for i think could be wrong 36 or 48 hours then you can claime.............ive a freind her son is 21 and is aspergers he lives in residential and claims dla...........but not for traveling expences its for the care and support he needs.............get a form fill it in youve nowt to loose.

[Kathryn]

I know this might be the wrong place to ask, but my DD has AS and has been in a psych hospital for 8 months and is now going to a 52 week a year placement, but she doesn't get DLA as I haven't applied for it...could she still get it? we have spent the last 8 months driving a round trip of 130 miles every weekend to visit or to pick her up for a home visit and her new placement will be a minimum 6 hour drive one way!!! so we have added expense there also we still provide some food and normal stuff teenager's need, so should I apply?

 

Hi Suzy,

 

Just looked this up, and apparently you would not get the care component of DLA for the time your daughter was at the school, although you could claim for the days she was at home. The mobility component would not be affected. Perhaps someone with direct experience of how the system works when a child is in resi school can confirm this?

 

K x

Edited August 19, 2009 by Kathryn

[Enid]

Isnt anyone worried their child may just spend it on wine woman and song!!!! or CD`s and games Also if they get money given so easily it may stop them from starting a part-time job etc? Enid

[Enid]

I know this might be the wrong place to ask, but my DD has AS and has been in a psych hospital for 8 months and is now going to a 52 week a year placement, but she doesn't get DLA as I haven't applied for it...could she still get it? we have spent the last 8 months driving a round trip of 130 miles every weekend to visit or to pick her up for a home visit and her new placement will be a minimum 6 hour drive one way!!! so we have added expense there also we still provide some food and normal stuff teenager's need, so should I apply?

 

Hi Suzy. hows it going, things calming down a bit? <'> Enid

[Enid]

Sorry! just seen your other thread! Enid