Jump to content
  • Announcements

    • Kris

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   06/04/2017

      Depression, Mental Health and Crisis Support   Depression and other mental health difficulties are common amongst people on the autistic spectrum and their carers.   People who are affected by general mental health difficulties are encouraged to receive and share information, support and advice with other forum members, though it is important to point out that this exchange of information is generally based on personal experience and opinions, and is not a substitute for professional medical help.   There is a list of sources of mental health support here: <a href="http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.php?showtopic=18801" target="_blank">Mental Health Resources link</a>   People may experience a more serious crisis with their mental health and need urgent medical assistance and advice. However well intentioned, this is not an area of support that the forum can or should be attempting to offer and we would urge members who are feeling at risk of self-harm or suicide to contact either their own GP/health centre, or if out of hours contact NHS Direct on 0845 4647 or to call emergency services 999.   We want to reassure members that they have our full support in offering and seeking advice and information on general mental health issues. Members asking for information in order to help a person in their care are seeking to empower both themselves and those they represent, and we would naturally welcome any such dialogue on the forum.   However, any posts which are deemed to contain inference of personal intent to self-harm and/or suicide will be removed from the forum and that person will be contacted via the pm system with advice on where to seek appropriate help.   In addition to the post being removed, if a forum member is deemed to indicate an immediate risk to themselves, and are unable to be contacted via the pm system, the moderating team will take steps to ensure that person's safety. This may involve breaking previous confidentiality agreements and/or contacting the emergency services on that person's behalf.   Sometimes posts referring to self-harm do not indicate an immediate risk, but they may contain material which others find inappropriate or distressing. This type of post will also be removed from the public forum at the moderator's/administrator's discretion, considering the forum user base as a whole.   If any member receives a PM indicating an immediate risk and is not in a position (or does not want) to intervene, they should forward the PM to the moderating team, who will deal with the disclosure in accordance with the above guidelines.   We trust all members will appreciate the reasoning behind these guidelines, and our intention to urge any member struggling with suicidal feelings to seek and receive approproiate support from trained and experienced professional resources.   The forum guidelines have been updated to reflect the above.   Regards,   The mod/admin team
LISAA

different levels of maturity

Recommended Posts

LISAA   

Hi everyone

 

my son is ten and has aspergers syndrome. He is mature in many ways but he;s tv interests are very immature, he loved Balamory when he was growing up and has lately seemed to obsessional about watching it, does anyone have any advice how i can handle this situation and why it may be happening please.

 

Thanks

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
coolblue   

My guess is that he has problems handling the sensory aspects of fast-moving, complex stimuli and so sticks to material that's relatively easy to process. My son flatly refused to watch what he called 'real-life' TV programmes (ie ones with real people in) until quite recently and even now he has real difficulty with accents, fast editing, loud music or a narrator who talks quickly. He's 12. We have to have catch-up-on-the-plot sessions during the commercial breaks.

 

We watched loads of cartoons. Some, if you can get them, like Dexter's Lab, Ed, Edd & Eddie, and Jimmy Neutron are clever, funny and informative - ds learned loads through watching them. I'd suggest lining up a few more cartoons or other simple programmes for slightly older kids, or even something like Tom & Jerry, to expand his repertoire, and take it very gradually. Ds used to go through months of watching the same thing, and would then suddenly change.

 

Hope that helps.

 

cb

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
oxgirl   

My opinion is that it's a comfort thing. My lad is 17 and it's only in the last year that we've been able to get him interested in watching anything with 'real' people in or anything that would be considered age appropriate. Before that, all he would watch were Futurama, SpongeBob Squarepants (the same episodes over and over) or documentaries on sealife.

 

We were away on holiday last year and had to make do with four channels and so he was unable to watch his usual programmes at his usual times. I was watching Friends one evening and managed to get him, reluctantly, to sit and watch it with me and he laughed! :D When we got home, as Friends is on basically on a loop on E4, I got him to come down every day and watch the episodes with me and he really got into it, ended up watching every episode until he'd seen them all. Even now he loves to watch Friends eps over and over and still laughs, he's learned so much about real life and relationships by watching them, who'd have thought Friends could be educational. :clap: It also led him on to being more open to watching other programmes with real people in them and he sometimes enjoys them sometimes not.

 

He still gets comfort from watching the same things over and over though, currently he'll always enjoy Top Gear or Friends, but at least they're more age appropriate and you'd be surprised by what he picks up from watching them.

 

I wouldn't worry personally. Your lad is still very young and if he enjoys watching Balamory I'd let him. He has plenty of time to get into other things as he gets older.

 

~ Mel ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I have HF asperger's, and have researched the commonalties of all Apsies. Does your son read much. If too much TV is a problem I would suggest that as Aspies are compelled and find it satisfying to maintain a large general or encyclopaedic knowledge, that you really encourage him too read as an alternative low stress, indoor, sendentary activity.

 

Please, please, please look at all of this awesome site http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/ and recommend it to everyone

 

Good luck and cheers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WillR73   

I'm a high-function Asperger, and I've found an easy way to explain myself to people who get bored with all the technical stuff. I say half of me is 37 and the other half is 12. My shrink cringes when I say it, but it helps most people understand - part of me stopped maturing at a certain age. Isn't that the core of the Asperger's problem? Don't know about Friends, but I still lmao at old episodes of Pingu :) Is that a problem that needs to be solved, or is it just a case of 'go with the flow'? Humour the child part, and the adult part will be much calmer. That make some sense?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Boy   

I have a collection of cartoons on video and DVD. A lot of what I enjoy watching is viewed by others as quite 'childish' but I find it comforting and also I tend to find that a lot of cartoons have repetition in them (theme song, one-liners, etc.) and I like repetition. It took me a long time to start to enjoy watching 'real-life' programmes, but I do like quite a few of those, now, too, and films that are more adult. But my favourites are always the comforting ones. They're also a lot easier to understand, or require less deep understanding (whereas more adult programmes can need some explaining if there's a close up of someone's facial expression, but I don't know what it means or why it's important, for example).

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
WillR73   

I have a collection of cartoons on video and DVD. A lot of what I enjoy watching is viewed by others as quite 'childish' but I find it comforting and also I tend to find that a lot of cartoons have repetition in them (theme song, one-liners, etc.) and I like repetition. It took me a long time to start to enjoy watching 'real-life' programmes, but I do like quite a few of those, now, too, and films that are more adult. But my favourites are always the comforting ones. They're also a lot easier to understand, or require less deep understanding (whereas more adult programmes can need some explaining if there's a close up of someone's facial expression, but I don't know what it means or why it's important, for example).

 

I recommend Judge Judy and Jeremy Kyle. I know that sounds silly, but hear me out. They follow the same format - he says she's lying, she says he's lying. At the end the judge or lie detector tells you who was right. It's a bit of a mystery puzzle - you watch, decide what you think sounds sensible, decide who looks dishonest, then at the end they tell you if you got it right. I know it sounds silly, but give it a try - it's both educational and a little addictive :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lizj   

I agree about the comfort thing. My son wouldn't part with his Thomas trains until he was about 12, and at 19 he still watches CBBC when he is tired or stressed. His favourite stuffed toy still goes to bed with him too!

I don't think there is any need to worry, so long as it doesn't reach the point where it is obsessionally damaging his life, or drawing attention to his "oddness" amongst other people.

When he is ready he will give up his comforts and move onto something more age-appropriate.

Edited by lizj

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

^^^Lizj did my post (below) mean anything for you or anyone here?

 

Hi, I have HF asperger's, and have researched the commonalties of all Apsies. Does your son read much. If too much TV is a problem I would suggest that as Aspies are compelled and find it satisfying to maintain a large general or encyclopaedic knowledge, that you really encourage him too read as an alternative low stress, indoor, sendentary activity.

 

Please, please, please look at all of this awesome site http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/ and recommend it to everyone

 

Good luck and cheers!

 

I hope you didn't ignore my request that you look at that site. It's very good.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
weebo   

HI iam 30 and still watch and buy cartoons iam a huge disney fan and i was so happy when i went on amazon and found the raggy dolls on dvd :party: i used to love it and still like it now. i dont think its a bad think comtoting definighty and i think iam still very young for my age to and happy :-)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dm2010   

Err . . . who says watching kids TV as an adult is an Aspie thing !?

 

I once shared a flat with an ex Royal Marine who was as opposite to ASD characteristics as it is possible to get. And yet he had (and still has) the complete Clangers box set. And he still watches them frequently.

 

For kids of all ages I recommend this. Far better than anything on current kids TV, or most of adult TV too.

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Jack-Holborn-DVD-Monte-Markham/dp/B00112GCG2

 

The other well known title from this team (the superb "Silas") is currently stalled due to copyright disputes but should be out on DVD shortly.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Tally   

Hi Lisaa,

 

I think you have to decide whether this is actually a problem or just a difference. Watching Balamory at home might not be a problem, but if he's talking about it in school then it might lead to teasing. Perhaps you could encourage him to watch something else that other people at school watch so he has something to talk about with them.

 

The obsessional aspect is kind of a separate issue. If it's getting in the way of other things then it might be worth restricting how much he is allowed to watch. He might not take too kindlt to this at first, but allowing him to watch a reasonable amount might reassure him. But if it's not causing a problem then maybe it's just a comforting routine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
lizj   

^^^Lizj did my post (below) mean anything for you or anyone here?

 

 

 

I hope you didn't ignore my request that you look at that site. It's very good.

Yes, I have had a look at it- it's very comprehensive, but isn't a lot of it American in content? For me personally it is interesting but not totally relevant, as my ASD son is older and we have already been through a lot of the problems. He also has moderate learning difficulties, so he is not typical Aspergers is many ways.

But thank you for the link.It's an interesting read.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LISAA   

Sorry i have only just read veryones replies, thank you all it has given me alot to think about and its been great to share it as we are all in the same boat at times.

THANKS VERY MUCH

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
LISAA   

Hi, I have HF asperger's, and have researched the commonalties of all Apsies. Does your son read much. If too much TV is a problem I would suggest that as Aspies are compelled and find it satisfying to maintain a large general or encyclopaedic knowledge, that you really encourage him too read as an alternative low stress, indoor, sendentary activity.

 

Please, please, please look at all of this awesome site http://www.yourlittleprofessor.com/ and recommend it to everyone

 

Good luck and cheers!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
anewman   

I think it is part routine and familiarity. I remember being little, maybe 7, wanting to watch some kids TV programme - that was gender inappropriate to me, and my Dad looking in the TV guide and showing me it was not on and I cried, lol.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sesley   

Hi everyone

 

my son is ten and has aspergers syndrome. He is mature in many ways but he;s tv interests are very immature, he loved Balamory when he was growing up and has lately seemed to obsessional about watching it, does anyone have any advice how i can handle this situation and why it may be happening please.

 

Thanks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

hi mine is 11 with ASD now and goes back to ceebeebees regularly and back to Nick junior and Spongebob. i think its because his social and language skills are immature for his age and that he can follow ceebeebee age progams better. He will sit and watch films like Up now and sat well for both in the cinema.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Rach14   

wow! amazed to hear your stories! L has been watching friends everynight in his den for years! i think he knows all the episodes and scripts now! Its definetly familiarity with L but he understands the humour too! :D he loves watching friends! its part of his evening routine!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sesley   

I think its do with the understanding of social and langauge with the social stories,as they get older and their minds become more mature to understand concepts. Even now a lot of langauge and social ettiquette is difficult to understand and lots of times goes straight over him.You have to give them time to process every thing you say to them in the way you find works.Thats why they rewind and watch repeats after repeats.Its like us learning a foreign language where every situation and spoken word gets repeated,so that you learn. With autism often speech and language developement is delayed alongside not understanding facial and body language. Shave a about a third off the chronological age and thats the age. Its frustrating in the classroom because often teachers treat all pupils of the same age accrodingly,and not fully appreciating that a person with autism may be younger in understanding of language and thats when they blow in frustration.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
JsMum   

It was around 11. 12, J came to realise he was infact growing up, becoming a young man, rather than a child and for a about a month, he actually regressed, why, because he didnt want to actually grow up, he wanted to be a little boy a bit longer.

 

It could be that the obsession of the ballamory programme helps your son be a little boy that bit longer,

 

some name it the peter pan complex,

 

sometimes pubity, changes in hormones are just far too overwhelming and its much better to be little where your dependant on others for your needs, kept safe and secure.

 

so going back to programmes, clothes that resemble the boy in your son will be stalling the stages ahead of him which is maturing into adolscence,

 

he will be witnesses wider gaps now, as more his own age develop further into adolscence and for most the development is socially, emotionally, the very developmental areas your son already struggles in so as he grows older his gaps widen so creeping back to his boyhood maybe a more familair teritory,

 

ballamory will have a language he will understand and feel very familair with, where as a conversation at school with a conversation going three, four even five ways may throw your son out, at least with ballamory he can keep up, understand.

 

When J wanted to be a boy he watched younger programes too for predicatbility, having something he knew in advance, a sequence, a pattern, he felt more comformatble with programmes that had predictability.

 

I let J be what he wanted that month, a boy, until he felt more comfortable that he was leaving his boyhood and transitioning into Teenage years.

 

Ballamory maybe his escape of this very confusing world at the moment, it his own reality for the time scale he watches it, for him the real world pauses, stalls, and he can finally channel his mind on songs and stories giving his brain a better sence of stimulation.

 

It maybe good to talk to him about getting older, transitioning into teenage years, making that next step to look forward and to make plans for been a teenager.

 

As daunting as it is growing up, it can be exciting and thrilling too, and a journey that we all follow eventually, when he is ready of course,

 

right now he is possibly stalling that next big step into young man boots.

 

Its going to take that bit extra time for your son, with his developmental areas been possibly between 18m-5yrs behind his peers your son may need that bit more time to allow him to transit,

 

dont forget there is all so you in this process too, Mums/Dads find the loss of thier little boy very emotional too, so it may be that you too have to let go as well and let him grow into the next phase of adolscence/teenage years.

 

I have a personal thought in that we all have our cute 8yr old in us, we never truely do let go completely of our inner child.

 

I watched the other day, on CBBC that I cant even say the name, WANAMNABA or something, basically little teddy like charachters do Yoga and exercises, a wheel goes around with a musical chimes it is the most wiredess thing Ive ever watched but it let me escape the real world for five mins.

 

for me though one of the reasons J went back into childhood cartoons was to stall the process of growing up.

 

JsMumx

Edited by JsMum

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi, I am a HF aspie, and my son is too - he is 11 and until last year was obsessed with watching Spongebob, Simpsons and futurama, but now he has discovered the Discovery channels, and we're well away! He watches 'mythbusters', 'how do they do that' and many other information laden documentaries during all his spare time, but it's great because he is now starting to learn some scientific stuff from it, as well as watching real people communicating. Don't worry too much - I think that as people, (both autistic and non-autistic), we all grow up at different rates and have different interests in the world. As long as we are all happy and not hurting anyone else, then just follow your interests, whether you're an aspie or otherwise!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
sesley   

we discouraged the Simpsons because he was copying Barts behaviour and he copyed the bullying moves on others when he lost his temper. Whats really funny is him on the Sims on the PC,and getting a insight into his mind through that.He makes up a family and builds them a tiny shoe box size house, and a railway station on a sims plot,with checkouts and settess for the passengers to sit on while waiting for their trains and he even built them a swimming pool so they can have a dip :thumbs: When he was younger he loved pinball machines,so he gave the sims pinball machines. Now he has found a cheat to get them loads of money so that he can make them do what he wants.He also loves lego city products,he has had the train set,then he wanted the fire station,which he is building, my hubby built the train,so he took it apart,because he wanted to build it and he did,he follows the pictures,he does not play with then he likes them for display. Next he wants a police station and a bank,the police station is to put the robbers who rob the bank in. :lol::clap:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
dm2010   

Well I got my Jack Holborn DVD in the post today. Watched 2 episodes this evening.

From the days when West German TV ZDF had serious money for the Christmas special. You can literally smell the Deutchmarks being burnt.

 

Didn't really strike me as a kid's program 30 years ago, and watching it again it's actually quite a grim morality tale. Much recommended - modern child actors should take a cue from Patrick Bach.

 

Perhaps I should start a collection, I believe Mysterious Cities Of Gold is also out on DVD. A best seller apparently.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now


×