fiorelli Report post Posted June 28, 2005 Seriously! We can't get anywhere near the thing! We have to watch and listen to little snippits of different programs ranging from kids tv to teenager tv to car chase programs to shopping channels - NO music channels though - he doesn't like them If we even try and suggest a different channel he goes absolutely mental! If we turn the tv off - again he goes ape! and Woe betide anyone who suggests he goes and plays or does a little homework! Anyone got any ideas? Also, he has developed a fear of dogs - he is alright with the little pups (as long as they are in someone's arms and quite) - but any other sign of a dog and he is . I have even had him run out into the middle of a road just to get away from a dog before (luckily there was nothing coming!) I have tried telling him that the dogs aren't interested in him as he doesn't smell like dog food. Have tried showing him that they are ok, by me stroking them etc. but nothing - if anything it is getting worse! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted June 28, 2005 Hi Fiorelli How old is your son - I can't find his age mentioned anywhere? You need a compromise here and fast because the more time he has control of your TV the less likely he is going to want to give up that control and it's your TV not his. Easier said than done I know. Does he have a room of his own with a TV in? I ask because then that would be his TV and he could watch what he wanted to watch. OK he would not have SKY but there are ways round that one to. We share SKY in this house and I often tape programmes for Matthew during the night so that he can view them during the day. My eldest son with AS now has his own DVD collection and so he to can watch what he wants and when he wants to - but not on our TV. I personally am not a TV person but I do not think that it's a good idea to let any child think the TV in the sitting room belongs to them. Also what about your other sons? What does this say to them? It will not be easy - I know as I have been there - but you need to prove that Mum is pretty good at stamping her foot to Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarerQuie Report post Posted June 28, 2005 My son shares the fear of dogs.His logic tells him that dogs eat bones and he believes that they want to eat his bones.Nothing will persuade him that dogs won't eat his bones,sigh.xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tizzmeclare Report post Posted June 29, 2005 Hi Fiorelli & Carer Quie, My son aged 9 is also absolutely terrified of dogs! He won't even go near puppies. He panics just at the sound of a dog barking. It seems to me, his fear is based on the idea that dogs are capable of being dangerous, so therefore he must fear all dogs, because the possibility of danger cannot be ruled out in his mind. tizz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fiorelli Report post Posted June 29, 2005 Carole, Louis is 6 (will be 7 in September, and is the size of a 9 year old!) believe me, we have tried to take the control of the tv away from him - at one point we managed, but he has gone downhill an awful lot recently, and the tv is the only way he is calm - so as the saying goes - better the devil you know... I am totally with you on the fact that too much tv is bad for the kids, and I get annoyed with myself for 'allowing' him to watch as much as he does. He used to have a tv in his bedroom, but we have put our foot down and refused him another one, as he used to unplug it all, and move it all around the house - Video player and all! - he eventually blew it up by pouring water into it (luckily it wasn't plugged in!) It is comforting to know that other children have a fear of dogs. It's a shame though, as they can be such good companions. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted June 29, 2005 Hi Fiorelli, Of course you can not just push a six year old into a room on his own and that was why I asked how old he was. Too much TV does not actually concern me to much it helps both of mine to calm down, as it does your son . My concern was that you had lost the control of the TV and that this little chap now expects to have it all of his own way with it. Again it's difficult my son was a great deal older, when I gave in a put a TV in his room. Can I tell you what my 18 year old son tells me about TV, videos, DVD's etc? He says that he feels comfortable with them because he takes control, meaning he can switch them on and off when he wishes to, and he knows just what to expect from a programme and it is always the same format no matter what the programme is. It begins with the credits, you watch the show, and then you have the credits again. In short it's predictable and that is what he likes. You have said that your son has gone down hill an awful lot lately. You also said in an earlier post that everything he does had to be on his terms. I would suggest that this is because at the moment he feels that his life is so unpredictable, because there has been many changes. Kids with ASD have the need to control when they feel that their lives are out of control and with no structure. If they think that the only way they can have some is to take control then they will. Hope that makes sense and it is not menat to offend you in any way. The changes you have had have been thrust upon you and you had no choice. You can understand that your son will not. While everyone in his life is trying to get their act together (NOT YOU the Service Providers) he is left feeling as if he is swimming against the tide. What else can he do to try and reach the shore? They must try and get some support structures up and running for him asap. Is a sick note for him until the end of term an opiton? It may give him some space to regain some control of his inner self and that would help all of you. So sorry about my first post because I really did not realise just what a young and anxious little lad you were talking about. <'> Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fiorelli Report post Posted June 29, 2005 That's ok Carole. At the moment, I must admit, that I would rather let him have the control of the tv, because as you pointed out - at the moment, that is probably the only thing he feels he has control over - how heartless would I be to take that security away from him? Unfortunately, between myself and the school, we have decided that sicknotes/holiday until the end of the term will be a very last resort, as we are VERY concerned about how he would go back in september if he was to have nearly 3 months off. - It is bad enough after a weeks half term break! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sarahjane Report post Posted June 29, 2005 Hi My son is also going to be 7 in september and as. He is obssessed with the tv, and would watch all day. this is much more so if we are in someones elses house, for example if we stay with granny he will sit and watch all day. I think it is because he is in control and knows what is happening. Also if he ges v anxious/ worked up about something tv is the best and only way of him calming down. I used to worry he watched to much but read something somewhere that as children learn well from the tv and H has certainly got an excellent general knowledge mainly from watching tv. I am on my own with 2 boys and do not mind him being in control sometimes i have to intervene on his younger brothers behalf, however if someone else comes to stay and wants to wach something else it is a nightmare. We are going away for 2 weeks to stay with in laws and i am dreading it for many reasons but 1 being the tv. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted July 2, 2005 would a timer help he can watch acertain amount of tv, then do something else for a wee while/ alternatively get him into tv shows u like? we are lucky that M loves our programmes, stargate ect so we can share? she is nearly 11 tho good luck C x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baileyj Report post Posted July 4, 2005 I must confess, we have turned our dining room into a playroom, with a TV, DVD & video in there, and piped Sky into it. Its the thing that calms Max (4) down, particularly adverts would you believe. I suppose some would say its bad to let him have too much TV, but for Max is really does work, and gives piece to the rest of the household too. Theres only so much CBeebies & Nick piggin Jnr you can take. Jo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sharron Report post Posted July 4, 2005 hi baileyj, you have just described my house down to a tee the dining room is k room and nick jr is so annoying if i have to hear the wiggles singing anymore i would scream it doe's your head in. sharron Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
darky Report post Posted July 4, 2005 hi there, i hope you dont mind my input. have you heard of social stories? i have found them to be a great tool for my daughter. i use them for fears and enforcing rules and they really do work. my daughter had a terrible fear of balloons. we did a social story and aprox 2 weeks later she was playing with them and wanting them in her room. you can find out about them if you just type "social stories" in the seach bar on google or whatever. a ladt called carol grey came up with them and have really been a godsend to me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
