In the proverbial pooh

[Hectorshouse]

To say that things have been difficult of late is an understatement, but the strains of T's education or lack of and statementing and school etc have really taken there toll. To top it off A (T's big brov) has gone off the rails, got into smoking the old camberwell carrot, stealing and lying to us, has stuffed his mocks, and is currently staying with the ex in-laws to give me a breather. We have to move by 20.7.05, had found a house here just in the nick of time, but long suffering partner has had enough, he hates living here and is desperate to go back to where we were before. He gave everything up to move with me whilst I was studying for my degree, but that has all gone by the wayside in the light of T's problems at school, did manage to complete my first year, but have had to intermitt for the 2nd year. long suffering one has now given me the hard truth .. enough is enough, he feels that he should be able to return to his career and that I have had my chance at my degree, but being down here is not working, the family is falling apart and that we should all move back. He has gone today to find us a house back up there, and has got his old job back.

 

My worries are that the move will seriously affect what I am trying to achieve for T in so far as his statement goes, and A will be in his last year of his GCSE's (not that he's actually being put in for that many!). If I stay to finalise the statement I lose my partner, and my family is broken apart. I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. I know that none of this is ASD directly related, but I have spent the last 6months fighting for T and now it feels like for what! I know I can pick up my degree or transfer to another one in another uni, so that doesnt bother me, but I really don't want to put my boys through losing another father. I suppose I have answered my own query but I am so worried about all the work I have put in for T that it might all be for nothing and I'll have to start from scratch with another LEA.

 

Sorry for the ramble rant moan, just feeling really low and lonely.

 

HHxx

[Guest flutter]

not sure if i can give any good advice on this sorry but can say am thinkin of you

<'>

[Suze]

Hi HH <'> <'> <'> BIG ONES!.Not sure you have too give up on the statement.......your new LEA may pick up from where the other left off...I,m sure someone like Nellie would know.Get phoning tomorrow it won,t have all been for nothing.You,ll get through this tough time hang on. Suze xx.

[oracle]

Go with you gut and your heart Sara. At the very worst where T is concerned you may have to start again with a Statement. Look at all of the practice you have had so far Sometimes we have to take a chance on life. If the chance feels right then take it because if you do not you may live a life of regrets. If it does not feel right then ask yourself why?

 

<'> Carole <'>

[littlenemo]

One aspect that you may have overlooked - moving A away from his suppliers (at least for his GCSEs) may not be such a bad thing...

Though being a teenager he'll assume that's the only reason for all the changes, presumably.

And it won't be like starting from scratch - you must have a mountain of paperwork and you certainly know your procedures.

 

As Carole says - go with your gut and heart

 

good luck

 

nemo

[Zemanski]

it never rains but it pours!

 

if you can, get that statement finalised - you're in the final phase and it will take your partner a good couple of months to get a new house etc sorted for you all - then you can take it with you.

 

is your old LEA better than your current one?

 

 

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Z

[nellie]

HH, <'> <'>

 

No words of wisdom I'm afraid. Good luck with whatever decision you make.

 

Nellie <'>

[bid]

HH,

 

Sending loads of these <'> <'> <'>

 

No real advice I'm afraid, just sympathy <'>

 

Bidx

[CarerQuie]

No amazing words but lots of <'> <'> <'>

[lynyona]

No advice either im affraid but im sure you will do whats best and it might all come together in the end. good luck lynn.

[Helen]

Oh HH <'>

 

... thinking of you, Helen xx <'>

[sylv]

I am afraid I have no advice either but lots of <'> are on the way to you!!!!

 

 

Love,

 

 

SylvX

[mossgrove]

HH

 

If you do decise LEA areas, it is worth seaking to someone IPSEA to find out where you stand about transferring the staement provision.

 

I know on couple who were eventually able to transfer their provision from one are to another, but they had to have a massive run-in with their new LEA who wanted to repeat the decision to asess/statemeting process right from the beginning.

 

Might be worth speaking to your prospective new LEA too.

 

Good luck with whatever you decide.

 

Simon

[Hectorshouse]

Thanks for all the replies, was feeling at such a low spot yesterday, I am trying to be more positive today. I am gonna try and get the statement finalised a quick as poss, have looked at the legislation and I can transfer it, although the LEA might not like having to do it, just need to get the special school in it, so a thats what I can be looking for where we move. Am checking out the other LEA today and getting in touch with PPS their as well.

 

I think that maybe A will hate having to move but its not like he's actually got much ground to stand on for any reasonable reasons for staying here. And yep, I know my stuff now as far as SEN procedure goes, so no blind alleys through ignorance this time. I love my partner and I love my family, the thought of being seperated is unbearable, and surely to be together and resolve our problems is a better solution all round, than me just trying to soldier on alone, and having to heal the wounds of my children as well as my own if we seperate.

 

I think I did answer my own query, but sometimes getting it all out helps and be able to share really does help, especially as I feel I have no one to talk to here now long suffering one is not here. Thank you everyone, I needed rational perspectives and you were all able to give me them, especially when I wasn't feeling at all rational yesterday just ver very

 

I wish I didn't feel so emotional, but the last year has been such a strain, and the support really does help.

 

Sending a group cyber <'>

 

Thank you, HHXX

[KarenT]

Hugs to you, it sounds as though you need 'em. Hope there's light at the end of the tunnel soon.

 

Karen

x

[Kathryn]

Good luck, HH, thinking of you and sending you more <'>

 

stay strong,

 

K

[Zemanski]

good luck to you both

 

I hope it all works out

 

 

<'>

 

Zemanski

[Hectorshouse]

Ok I'm biting the bullet, the draft statement is in front of me and I'm signing it ... I know its not perfect but we're not gonna be here anyway, and I'll carry on the good fight with another LEA.

 

Here's hoping ... for a better chance for T and keeping my family together.

 

HHxx

[tizzmeclare]

Hi Hectorshouse,

 

Sorry no pearls of wisdom from me either, I just wanted to say hope it all goes well.

 

I've also just signed my son's proposed statement, and his immediate chance of moving to a special school.

 

Buy hey, I thought to myself, I'm going to ask the school to call an emergancy review after christmas and spend the next few months gathering as much evidence as poss! ( sure the school will help as they voice the same concern as me about where he should be).

 

Best wishes for getting through this difficult time <'>

 

tizz