Not sure if I belong here any more

[Viper]

HI,

 

some of you know about Bens pre DX of ODD and seperation anxiety. I know he has some AS traits but I'm not sure if I belong here anymore, I feel like a fraud. I even wonder if my DD DX AS really has AS now, maybe she has other things going on too.

 

What I need now are any links to these conditions that can help. The one on ODD on the forum is not working and my puter is playing up so I can't find anything.

 

I love all you guys and gals out there in cyber land and feel so humbled to have you as friends, you are all so caring. All the messages of real concern when the bombs went off while I was in London made me feel so cherished by people I have never met . Thank you all so much. I wish we could have a huge party and meet everyone.

 

Viper

[lil_me]

Why wouldn't you be welcome, you have offered valuable advice to more members than I care to count.

 

ODD,ASD,ADHD,OCD,PDD-NOS, whatever the letters as parents we share the same thing, special children and a need for support and guidance.

 

I feel sometimes a fraud as such as my son is yet to be 'offically' diagnosed as they have involved more proffesionals, but I am so pleased I use this forum as the people have been welcoming, caring and supportive without being patronising, which is rare in my experience so far.

[smallworld]

Hi Viper,

I think you're still in the right place.

We have never sought a dx for our middle son (youngest has dx of mod. autism)

for many reasons, mainly he is coping well with school and friends. Having read lots about the behaviours he displays (esp. towards me) I have begun to suspect ODD.He really would swear that black is white ! to the death ! And will defy me forever, no matter what sanction I impose.

ODD , I think is closely connected to ASD (consultant thinks middle son has aspergers)

I'm sure that someone else will come along who has more direct experience of ODD.

Don't jump ship !!

 

wac

[oracle]

I was not going to say this but I will now. You will often find that what begins life being described as anxiety seperation disorder, a term I strongly dislike because it can sometimes be a term used to pin the blame for a childs behaviour on the parent, actually turns out to be AS. The anxiety occurs because a child with AS only feels secure when the people who facilitate and fill in the blanks for them are around. I was also told that very young kids with AS can not understand that when a parent os someone close is even out of the room that they are going to return. That is why so many of our kids have so many problems when they begin school.

 

It's a worry I had when I read your first post. Maybe not the right time to say it but I would rather say it then sit on it.

 

Carole

Edited July 22, 2005 by carole

[smallworld]

I think Carole is exactly right re. seperation anxiety. All right thinking toddlers have this, it just takes longer with asd children to make them realise you will return, and school have to do this seperation gradually to my mind. A good school will allow you to seperate over a period of time.

We have the same problem in our playgroup with the transistion from toddler group, and get round it by extending the period the parent/carer is away for.

[oracle]

I have to say that the social thing worried me to because again many of our kids do just fine with adults, so it is good that they will observe with the peer group. I suppose I am saying keep an open mind about everything that is being said to you. I know that these people are the 'experts' and I am not and I know that I am too outspoken, so I will shut up now.

 

Carole

[Kathryn]

Viper,

 

Rest assured you do belong here! <'> Don't go!

 

Some professionals don't recognise ODD as a separate syndrome in itself. Labels can be somewhat arbitrary, depending on who you see and which diagnostic manual they are using, but this is little comfort to you when you are waiting for a firm dx.

 

Trust your instincts, you know your child. A label won't change who he is but it will help to get the support he needs, and you are still on the right track.

 

Whetn the Guys team get in touch with you again do tell them your concerns and ask them for more information.

 

K

[Suze]

Viper are you crazy don,t go you belong here .When I read the link to ODD I was at first shocked because all the criteria fitted my son.ODD must be on the spectrum too alot of AS/ASD peeps have these traits.Most people on the spectrum merge with many co/morbids my son has dyslexia and dyspraxia. Also the proffessionals you see will all have slightly differing ideas about DX and who fits which "label" best.On my son,s DX from CAMHS it mentions ADD, PDD and then says AS/ASD probably fits him best because of his "obsessions"! So if he,d seen another physch he could have had a totally different DX. Age can have a huge bearing on DX ,symptons at 3/4 will have gone at 10 (true for my son ).I,ve waffled a bit but just wanted to reassure you that this is where you belong .

[bid]

Viper <'>

 

Don't be silly!!

 

Of course you belong here <'>

 

When I read the description of ODD I thought it sounded just like my son. I often think that if he was being diagnosed today he would have even more letters after his name!

 

I'm not going down the road of 'they didn't have all these conditions in my day', but I have often wondered in the past if ODD is actually just another manifestation of The Spectrum, not something separate??

 

Anyway, don't you dare leave!

 

Bidx

[jools]

just wanted to add that my son is as yet undiagnosed asd but i still feel this is the right place to be.

he shows 'some' traits according to camhs but even if he only shows one i know that everyone here will understand what we go through

[sarahjane]

Viper

 

Of course you belong here! <'>

 

What unites us is not the label that an "expert" has given our child but the fact we are all bringing up special children and trying to do the best for them.

 

I bet if all our children were assessed by different experts lots of us would get a different diagnosis! All our children are unique and even those of us with the same diagnosis will have very different children at different stages, and most of us seem to have children with more than 1 diagnosis.

 

Also bear in mind that the time post a clinic can be very confusing. I know i went around in a "fog" for at least 1 month after H has got his diagnosis.

 

Keep posting!

[barefoot wend]

I agree with all the other posts.

 

Viper, you most definitely belong here, not least for all the help you've given others.

 

I strongly feel that there is a huge umbrella under which an awful lot of dxs stand like some enormous venn diagram - all either separate or intertwined together. I think all the experts - even the most qualified and experienced ( and that includes us parents) - find it really hard to pin down an exact dx for each individual.

 

AS, ADHD, HFA, Dyspraxia, ODD, giftedness, OCD, memory problems (long and short-term), anxiety, depression ......... the list is long - please add your own preference. There is no doubt in my mind that there are connections and co-minglings.

 

Your son, all our children, are a part of this. To varying degrees a good number of the 'so-called' NT population are too.

 

Barefoot

Edited July 23, 2005 by barefoot wend

[Helen]

Viper,

 

Off course you're in the right place! You're amongst friends! <'> <'> <'>

[helenl53]

Hi Viper,

 

You belong here.

 

Guys - this lady along with Nellie, saved my life!!!!!!!!! (literally)

 

You are not going anywhere - we won't let you.

 

Love and hugs to you - sorry I haven't been around much lately.

 

HelenL

[nellie]

Oh Viper, <'> <'>

 

NO, you can not leave us! As a moderator I forbid it and have a good mind to change your topic to �I?m sure I belong here�!

 

The last few days have been very difficult and you must be overwhelmed by it all, PLEASE take it slowly and remember that Ben is still the same child. Hopefully you will end up with a true picture of his needs and some labels to signpost you to the provision to meet those needs.

 

You have had an assessment from a team with a great reputation, from what you say they are still assessing Ben and you don?t have the final diagnosis yet. As a mum and an expert on Ben, I?m sure you did a great job giving vital information to this team, which will have helped them form a picture.

 

Try to document your questions and concerns and make sure you get the answers from the experts. Don't be afraid to contact them. Separation anxiety disorder is often taken by parents as criticism, it may be the case that the experts involved understand that this is caused by his autism and it may be that this label will explain Bens needs to education providers. Remember to question anything you don?t agree with!

 

I?m sorry the sites on ODD on the Jargon Buster are unavailable, I think one of them may be temporarily unavailable, it?s a brilliant site, hopefully it will be back soon. I shall see if I can find other suitable sites for you.

 

If you have a look at the following DfES document you will see that ODD is described as an Autistic Spectrum Disorder. Have a look at page 3.

http://www.teachernet.gov.uk/_doc/6695/ACF1F98.pdf

 

You belong here, just look at all these posts giving you support. Just remember we need your support too.

 

Off my soap box now.

 

Great news about your holiday, something to look forward to. You deserve a break.

 

Luv

 

Nellie <'> <'>

[Viper]

Thank you everyone.

 

How could I have been so silly, you are all wonderful people and I need you all.

I have been going through all sorts of emotions. I felt I had been giving advice and oppinions on things I knew nothing about. (even though I have a daughter with a DX of AS) I also felt on my own on here, like I was a square peg in a round hole with no one else having a child with ODD ( now someone will prove me wrong) When I look at the symptoms of both disorders they do cross.

 

On the subject of seperation anxiety, the consultants were very good and did point out it was not something we had done wrong as parents, it is part of who he is.

 

Thanks for all your kind thoughts and wishes.

I will be around, but I will lurk for a bit untill I have got my head sorted out.

 

Viper

[nellie]

Viper

Have a look at this previous topic.

 

O.D.D., Sounds like my son...

http://www.asd-forum.org.uk/forum/index.ph...st=0entry5915

 

Nellie xx

[Mother in Need]

Viper, to prove you wrong (as requested), my son has just been diagnosed with AS and ODD, he is also dyslexic, has dyspraxic tendencies and is very gifted. And is diabetic, to add a few extra mood swings to the mix. And oh, did I mention he has just started puberty to complicate matters even more......

[mossgrove]

Viper

 

As Nellie says, permission to resign has been refused.

 

I am so glad you have come to your senses!

 

Simon

[~Jonathan~]

Blimey Viper, you're needed here <'>

[Kris]

Hi Viper,

 

Just to let you know, if you leave then we will all come and haunt you!!!! You have been warned!

 

The best advice I can give is to stay, otherwise we'll get Jester and Baddad to email you every day until you succumb!!!

 

Kris

[admum]

Just to say I agree with lots of the posts. A dx label is useful and can change- my son at 6 had a label of adhd, dyspraxia, AS traits and ODD. Later they removed the ODD and called it Aspergers as they said it was part of his Aspergers and clearer with age. Bearing in mind he was dx by a leading team it just goes to show that its not clear cut. Weve had a few locums in the meantime who disagreed and said no signs of AS. Im convinced that many have co-morbids and not all are dx - it depends on the team. Our team felt that only with the full label would he get the help he needed. You have another child with AS and so Im sure that as a parent you are the expert.

[kirstie]

<'> I'm with everyone else here missus!!!! Don't you go anywhere!

I really hope your getting your head around things and taking all the time you need before coming back to us. You are so valued by me, and everyone else here. This forum has been a godsend to me and i thank each and every one of you for that.

As Lil me said (really can't do the quotey thingy) all of our children are special and they all have differing needs, please don't feel alone.

Will be thinking of you,

Love Kirstie.

[Jester]

Hi Viper,

 

You know what happens when someone tries to sneak out during the Stand-Up's set?

 

Kris is right ...NO-ONE leaves a 'room' being worked by me and Badders... if you go we'll send you the stuff deemed too pathetic even for the Batcave; the stuff we CUT OUT of the christmas panto script postings.

 

Aha! You have been warned

 

Please stay...if you go, I'll be the only sane one left. <Giggles worryingly>