an awful day

[hev]

i feel emotionally drained tonight,from the minute steve got up i knew it was going to be bad,he always gets up and is very rude but hes been insulting me all day,in the end he was being so bad to my 2 year old i told him to get out the front as he kept coming up to my face and screaming,everytime i walked away he would come and shout more insults,i find it so hard to be paitent,my 2 year old is sobbing all through this,i tell steven i hate him,he kicks me in the back about 6 times,i push him over,none of its right,its terrible fighting with your son when hes got a condition he cant help,why did i get to the point of telling him i hate him and pushing him,i should have put katie in her buggy and walked round the block but i had lost control myself,i know the correct way to deal with stevens outbursts is to stay calm but i couldnt today,i love steven more than anything but i find it all so hard,some advice please as i feel not well tonight about it all

[annie]

<'> <'> Hev <'> <'>

[forbsay]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

Thinking of you.

 

Elaine

xx

[lisann]

Oh sweetie tom' will be a better day promise.We all have days like these after all we are only human and ASD AS does get you down sometimes especialy when we have more than one kid.

 

Chin up and don't worry have a few of these

 

<'> <'> <'> and these X X X

 

Lisa x

[mossgrove]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

 

There's not much I can add that you don't know already.

 

 

We've all been there before, in one way or another. Don't be too hard on yourself.

 

Simon

[Malika]

Life do get complicated at time hope you will get better days. Well we are all human just give him an huge cuddle tomorow and tell him you love him to bits and that you don't like getting angry with him. You will feel better afterward and him to. <'> <'> <'>

 

Take care. <'> <'> <'>

 

Malika

[KarenT]

Poor you, Hev. It's so awful when it gets to that pitch, you end up hating yourself for losing control and resenting everything (and everyone) that led you there.

 

Agree with Malika - hug him today, apologise and admit to him that you handled it badly. Tell him how much you love him. I usually tell J that I love him with all my heart but don't like the way he behaves sometimes, and it's that which I'm cross at and not him. It does help for us.

 

Hope today's a better day for you all.

 

Karen

x

[lorryw]

Hi Hev,

I hope everything will be better for you all today. Sometimes it all gets too much and when you have no where to turn for practical help you start to feel everything is spinning out of control.

Im afraid I dont have any answers, just take a deep breath, cross all your fingers and who knows, today may be brilliant.

Take care

Love Lorainexxx

[Elanor]

Hev

 

I'm sorry I didn't see this last night - I hope you're feeling a bit better today.

 

I do know how you feel, usually I can cope, but 2 weeks ago I ended up literally screaming in my son's face. it scares me when I lose control like that, but it is rare, and getting rarer, and it is like falling off a bike - you just have to pick yourself up, and start all over again.

 

Can you talk to Steve today, and try to explain that you can lose your temper too, and that just like him, you can say things you don't mean? I think that my son understands this, after all I've had to say it to him many times.

 

Elanor

[hev]

thanks everyone,today has been lot better,health visitor cam out and she going to work on my behalf to get some respite for steven in holidays,i gave him big cuddle today and it was nice,hes my little man really even though hes taller than me,going to take one day at a time in future

[Clarkie]

Hey again,

Just posted on your pevious topic - I didn't check the dates so thought it was recent.

Edited March 18, 2006 by Clarkie

[BuntyB]

I know all kids are different, so maybe you won't get the same response as me.

However, with 3 kids with ASD and a small one who also likes everything yesterday, I would be in my grave before I could give everybody what they wanted!

 

The problem with liking everything to go to routine, and a response to everyone's needs, is that it would be just fine, except the world just ain't like that!

 

A clue how to deal with it might be whether he is as impatient with everyone, or just with you?

 

If it's just you/your family, this implies children have some control and are pushing the limit with you. If children are behaving like this to everyone, they are in for a tough time in the outside world. I tell my kids how others will see them if they treat people like that.

 

My kids do sometimes shout 'I want dinner NOW!' and I firmly tell them, 'Shout like that, and you get NO dinner'. I walk away until they can ask nicely. It's a hard lesson to learn that you have to be polite to get what you want, but they have improved.

 

However, I do know kids that no amount of talking to gets through, and if things get desperate, ask for some help in managing his behaviour.