ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

[baddad]

Just wanted to remind you all there are only TWO MORE SHOPPING DAYS!!!

 

ARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

[lil_me]

I sent the lesser half out for some calpol tonight and he ended up getting it from a petrol station as you couldn't even get in the car parks where the local supermarkets are, everyone is going nuts

[DAS999]

I still have shopping to do. Have not got a clue what to get my G/F any ideas??

[Brook]

I'm not going near another shop til after christmas, I went to get me last bits tonight at that shop,

you know 'where every little helps', it was heaving. People fighting over lettuce and bacon wrapped

sausages

 

Brook

[Tally]

I work in a supermarket. If I didn't, I would definitely be staying far, FAR away from the evil places. Last year 2 women had a fight over the last turkey at 5pm on Xmas eve. I mean, really, if you've left it that late, you don't deserve a turkey anyway.

[baddad]

I'm not going near another shop til after christmas, I went to get me last bits tonight at that shop,

you know 'where every little helps', it was heaving. People fighting over lettuce and bacon wrapped

sausages

 

Brook

 

We're doing the food bit tomorrow. If they've not got a guinea fowl Ben's gonna be very disappointed!!

Recipe for a stress free Christmas dinner...

a) 1 Guinea fowl

b ) 1 Chicken Brick

 

Put A inside B (trying to put b inside a makes for a stressFUL christmas dinner!) and place in oven

Bung two good sized 'pricked' spuds alongside

 

Turn oven on to full about 1 and a half hours before you want to eat...

 

If you're really bothered, bung some mushrooms up the birds jaxx, bung some chipolatas or somesuch in about 20 mins from end and boil up some extra veg at the last minute.

Bob's your thingummy and fanny's your watsname!!

 

NB If cooking for more than two or three BUY AN EXTRA CHICKEN BRICK!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Last year 2 women had a fight over the last turkey at 5pm on Xmas eve.

 

I spent last Christmas in Istanbul... At 5pm on Christmas Eve two Turks had a fight over the last woman...

 

OK I'm lying for the sake of a bad joke...

I'll get me coat...

[stressed out mum]

Hi DAS

 

perfume is always a good bet or jewellery.

 

not very original I know and maybe a dvd?

[littlenemo]

Pardon my ignorance, but what in the name of all that's processed is a chicken brick?

 

It sounds almost as appetising as one of those tripe, offal and breadcrumb McNuggets

 

In fact, protect my innocence - I don't want to know

[Zemanski]

I still have shopping to do. Have not got a clue what to get my G/F any ideas??

 

you could try those really sparkly spinning holographic discs - you get them in hippy gifty shops mostly and science museums, we love them in our house

 

Kaleidoscopes are good too, we have a posh brass one with a fish eye lense that makes the whole world go all spacey

 

Zemanski

[baddad]

Pardon my ignorance, but what in the name of all that's processed is a chicken brick?

 

It sounds almost as appetising as one of those tripe, offal and breadcrumb McNuggets

 

In fact, protect my innocence - I don't want to know

 

A chicken brick is a clay pot shaped like a chicken. You chuck a chicken in it, spalsh a little olive oil on with some interesting flavourings (garlic!) and whack it in the oven on full steam ahead... Two hours later you're in carnivore heaven!!

Sorry, mate, I've not yet heard of a Lentil brick, or a nut-cutlet brick, or a tree bark, nettle and falafaal dumpling brick , though I can advise that Fungi A La Coq's derrier-hole is tres bon!!

[UltraMum]

One good thing - we live within trolley pushing distance of the local 'every little helps' - beats queuing to get out of the car park ................ and yes - we do take the trolley back - thankfully they haven't got one of those trolley systems where the wheels stop at the edge of the car park!

[littlenemo]

I'll stick with the frozen vodka brick, cheers (shaped like a brick, kicks like a mule)

[baddad]

Kaleidoscopes are good too, we have a posh brass one with a fish eye lense that makes the whole world go all spacey

 

Zemanski

 

I find two large whisky's do it for me

 

Sorry, DAS... ladies, they are difficult aren't they?? Generally anything made out of chocolate, or that costs a lot but is of no earthly use to anyone - like perfume, small handbags or silk dressing gowns... Definitely NOT household appliances, power tools, playstation games or anything 'sensible'... CD's can be good if you buy the right one, but are a disaster if you get it wrong. Also, they like anything that 'matches'... It doesn't matter if it's earrings, a tea towel and a biscuit barrel, as long as they 'match'... dunno why, but trust me

[littlenemo]

If she has any sensory issues at all, I'd avoid perfumes if I were you.

[Elouise]

I sat through the 'autistic nativity' at Nathans school. The star played his part from his 'box' and strategically held up the star at the right point there by avoiding seeing the audience or being seen.

Sat through Sam and Annies....Sam dangling a tiny plastic dinosaur on a piece of string at the audience whilst Annie stood up as the angel and announced 'I have forgotten what am I meant to say...MISS...what am I meant to do now?'

Well I HAD taken the afternoon off work to do the plays and thanks to work being hectic I have not been shopping....I must have had a brainstorm or something.....oh YEs you can guess what i was stupid enough to do.

 

So after todays exciting after school trip round the supermarket anything that has not been got can darn well STAY ungot.

 

I can only offer a heartfelt thank you to the BBC for showing 'The magnificent seven'!

Want to know why?

I took Annie, Sam and *shudder* Nathan to Sainsburys after school as Nathan had eaten everything he could lay his hands on and I have yet to find a nathan proof lock as the perishers over 6 foot and 15 stone with an enquiring mind minus the common sense and enough spare time to shop when nathan and Sam are at school.....

 

Imagine if you will Nathan attempting to grab and throw every single shiney holographic scrap of anything he could find into the shopping trolley....including items from other peoples trolly's.

Imagine Sam walking like a little robot in horror at WHITE christmas trees. It took me five years to persuade him the green ones were allowed in doors and should not be attacked on sight.

 

Annie decided she just hated it all and crawled inside her coat and span round on the floor.

 

There is me trying to remove sparkly size 8 knickers (Nathan they will NEVER fit you!) more tubes of toothpaste than even Sam could eat in a year and put in NICE Christmas food whilst Sam screams about ' want GOAT'..that took some working out he meant an Oxfam goat not goat for dinner or a cuddly goat or a book about goats.

I began to make a mental note to ensure that NEXT year I take time off work BEFORE the school breaks up to buy and hide away christmas goodies.

 

Annie goes into over drive and crawls from under her coat filling trolley with every NUT laded bar of choclate she can lay her hands on. Sam goes mental and accuses Annie of plotting to kill him. Annie cannot read 'contains NUTS. Pacify Sam by waving his magick shiney red pencil in the direction I would prefer him to leap.

Nathan has disappeared. Located trying to carry every tape player he could find off the shelves. Tantrum from Nathan as the 'no' word is used. Startled horrified looks from other shoppers as uber large toddler opts for eating the floor and screaming.

Tell Nathan he is making everyone look at him as most lads of nearly 16 do not behave like two year olds in supermarkets.

Hand nathan the latest spinny shiney light emitting yoyo.

REMOVE the nice shiney light emitting YoYo begin explanation as to why waving them in old ladies faces whilst going 'look...LOOK.....LOOK you **%##*! ' is not socially approbraite behaviour.

 

Realise its quite too darn quite....discover Sam and Annie are gone *SCREAM QUITELY*

 

Tell Nathan to GUARD trolley with his life and NOT to move head off...Sudden thought...go back remind Nathan that he IS allowed to breathe.

 

Locate Sam by the whoop noises and remove him from the top shelf where he has found root beer. End up placing root beer in trolley. Try to persuade Nathan to move only to realise I told him NOT to and forgot to give him a time limit.

Hand him the watch with the alarm and tell him he is allowed to begin shopping again in five minutes.

 

Find Annie happily wondering out of the shop following the wrong mummy who is wearing a similar set of clothes to mine. Point out to Annie she is not escaping from her brothers that easily.....hear a crash run back help Nathan and Sam put the goods BACK into the trolley and look at the bent wheels.

Nathan moans the trolley is no longer easy to push.

(NOT surprised they where never meant to be used as skateboards by Nathan being rammed round the shop by Sam)

 

Grab NUT FREE christmas cake with snowmen on. YIPPEE nut free something i do not NEED to make...get into arguement with Sam over the snowmen having faces....

 

I am now of the opnion a large brandy is required and run for the check out. Nathan is spinning wildly; Sam is complaining that the shelves are not symetrical and in the wrong places. Annie is wailing her head off from being overwelmed by words everywhere she cannot read.

 

Grab a Simpsons comic for Sam. Double back and surgically pry Nathan from the headphones near the the CDs.

 

Remove Annie from under the trolley where she has hidden herself.

 

Charge past the queques dumping overflowing broken trolley on the qeuque that is moving past ready to have nervous breakdown.

 

The checkout girl looked at me; looked at the trolley; looked at the kids. (Annies in her coat aka Kenny style and will not come out making weird beep noises. Nathan is attempting to dismantle the till to get at the shiney light whilst sam has climbed over the conveyor belt and hidden under her feet.

I fail to register this and dump the entire contents of the trolley on the conveyor belt and when I have finished she looks at me; at the kids and then at the sign above her head that reads '10 items or less'.

 

 

I pause....By now I am ready to cry.

 

 

 

The checkout looks at me at the shopping and then *oh THANK YOU THERE IS A GOD* offers to get someone to pack for me and run everysingle item through the checkout and arranged for a sparkly new WORKING trolley in place of the Nathan mangled one to get back to the car.

 

* Are your kids like the Jackson kids?*

*urm yes......*

*thought so cos they are behaving like those kids on the telly*

 

So thank you to Sainsburys for being so helpful.......and thanks to the BBC for once I did not have to do the 'look have you seen Rainman? Well they are nothing like that....'

 

Next year I am hiring a gorilla cage to leave Nathan in, a bloke with SAS training to deal with Sam a large cuddly dragon suit for Annie to hide in and a PERSONNAL shoppper I can send out to get the rotten shopping for me.

I have also marked down in next years diary for the 1st december REMEMBER...you can buy the shopping on line!

All I can do is utter a silent tahnks I did not try taking Jo with me too.

[lindy-lou]

ive been christmas shopping all day(mercifully with no kids in tow )then ive been on a girlie night out for a curry and a few beers where we have proceeded to talk about aspergers all night cant ###### escape it anywhere will be delivering presents and doing my food shopping tomorrow(india in tow).....oh how i look forward 2 it

[oracle]

I went for the Christmas food shop today at Morrisons and was amazed at how easily I got round I was even more amazed when it came for me to hand over the cash What a difference shopping alone makes I saved an absolute fortune I had enough money left over for a little something for myself - a taxi home

 

Carole

[mossgrove]

Elouise

 

Thankyou for reminding me what trips to the supermarket with our 4 are like, it all came flooding back.

 

Our christmas shopping arrived in a van from Asda about 3 hours ago. If you have a laptop and a wireless internet connection you can shopinfront of the telly with one of these:

 

 

Worth a thought.....

 

Simon

[lindy-lou]

mossgrove i understand what your saying about the ease and stress freeness of cyber shopping but i enjoy going and choosing what were going to eat each week,and choosing just the cut of meat i want off the butchers,just the bananas i want and smelling the fresh bread cooking,cyberness can take over our lives a bit too much and we can forget the little things sometimes.i do wish i had a cyber babysitter for just such trips to the supermarket though

[Kathryn]

I feel so deprived. I miss out on the whole food shopping thing every year. We go to my mother in law's every year for Christmas and she insists on doing it all herself - won't let me help at all. It's a tough life but what can you do.

[baddad]

Elouise -

Thankyou for making me feel better about my once a year horror shop in the morning...

I promise I'm laughing (and close to tears) WITH you, not at you. Do you want to take Ben too next year?

I hope your nut free christmas (and everybody elses too - including yours, k at the outlaws) is everything you want it to be

L&P

BD

[mossgrove]

Lindy-lou

 

We get the basics that you don't rally need to 'browse and squeeze' delivered like cat food, baked beans, nappies, washing powder etc.

 

We still go and browse (usually just ine of us with a couple of the children) but it's much less of a hassle as the basics are covered, so the whole undertaking is much easier to squeeze within the attention span of our NT children at least rather than setting loads of time aside.

 

Simon

[barefoot wend]

I have the best trick - I sent my husband.

[lindy-lou]

I have the best trick - I sent my husband.

 

 

i do this too sometimes wend,but how is it a man(my man anyway)can spend ?70 on 3 carrier bags of shopping and not one meal amongst it

[DAS999]

thanks for the gift ideas

no chocolate as dairy allergy

cd yes good

sparkly things yes very good

smelly stuff is a no no (sensory issues)

ear rings will not get warn, just flicked lots!!

I will go on the hunt for sparkly things and cd's today, might even look at dairy free chocolate!!

Thanks alot for all the ideas

<'>

[Guest flutter]

hubs is going at lunchtime, i am finding it hard to leave house after monday, but have just heard how chaotic it is round here, is armageddon on the way and i have missed it

is now a good time to cnacel christmas?????????

NO cos me house is tidy !!!

[lindy-lou]

thanks for the gift ideas

no chocolate as dairy allergy

cd yes good

sparkly things yes very good

smelly stuff is a no no (sensory issues)

ear rings will not get warn, just flicked lots!!

I will go on the hunt for sparkly things and cd's today, might even look at dairy free chocolate!!

Thanks alot for all the ideas

<'>

 

Das how about a jewellery box with a dancing ballerina inside?pretty and feminine with a twirly thing too!!

[mossgrove]

i do this too sometimes wend,but how is it a man(my man anyway)can spend ?70 on 3 carrier bags of shopping and not one meal amongst it

 

Because if we didn't we'd have to do the shopping far more often!

 

 

Simon

[lindy-lou]

ahhh! i see said the blind man now i know your secrets

[Jill]

Elouise

 

I'm so sorry, but I am laughing fit to wet myself.

 

Can I please come shopping with you and your family next year & bring The Boy too? I know it must be stressful at the time but you've got to laugh haven't you? It'd probably be funnier with a mate too (one who understands anyway). Sorry, but the funniest bit was the waving of the yoyo in the pensioner's face yelling "look you *&%??*, LOOK". Does laughing at this make me a bad person?

 

I have to say tho, I wonder if it's Sainsburys in general. We went to our local one recently and The Boy was giving it some verbal stimming (and he can produce some VERY odd noises) and circling round and round, followed by a flit to the wall, bang with his hand, back again to circling. Me n hubby were letting him get on with it (he was happy and not getting in anyone's way) and the girl on the checkout said "he's lively isn't he, do you mind me asking if he's autistic?" I said that he was and I didn't mind and she said "thought so," smiled and then just carried on putting our shopping through. Not a major thing I know, but it made us feel so good that she just accepted it.

 

Gifts - I always think it's lovely when the other half buys me underwear cos it's thoughtful that he 1) knows my size and 2) is willing to go through that embarrassment for me and 3) he always buys what I like, so he obviously knows me well. This is a risky ploy tho cos you can get this REALLY wrong.

[lil_me]

<'> Elouise, what an advernture.

[call me jaded]

Wow Elouise! What a feat!