meltdown city in my house last night...........

[loulou]

Hi everyone

 

I'm feeling truly sorry for myself today, so i just need to off load.

 

Yesterday, i was working from 5-10pm, which is not what i usually do. I've been working school hours which has been working really well. Anyway, they were short staffed so asked me to work 5-10pm. I felt really guilty so i agreed. BIG MISTAKE.

 

My mum came over to look after Kai, who was already stressed b/c he knew i was going to work.

 

I got a phone call at work from my mum at 6. She was in tears. Kai was in full meltdown mode, because he got cross with a toy. He had trashed the lounge, was hurling abuse at my mum, and then RIPPED THE DOOR OFF MY WASHING MACHINE .

 

I nearly had a panic attack on the spot, but managed to stop it. My dad came to my mum's rescue, and by the time i got home at 10 he had calmed down. My dad was nearly in tears and my my mum had gone home.

 

This morning my mum called to say she would not look after Kai again, so as of today i have no childcare. I'm supposed to be working tomorrow .

 

This is just such a nightmare, i feel like giving up work, but i didn't go to uni for three years to stay at home .

 

Now i've got no washing machine, god knows how much the repair bill will be.

 

 

I'm going into work to try to change my contract on monday. Fingers crossed.

 

Loulou x

[jb1964]

I really feel for you loulou.

 

My mum looks after my daughter while i'm in work and I don't know what we'd do without her - there was a period a while ago (before we knew she had AS - when they just thought she was badly behaved) when I was so frightened that they'd say pretty much the same.

 

She may come round - after she's calmed down.

Good luck.

[Guest flutter]

<'> <'>

[Brook]

<'> <'> Hope you get something sorted. <'> <'>

 

Brook

[lynyona]

<'> loulou <'> <'> <'> .I hope things sor themselves out for you,if it wasnt for the fact that my ds s are older than kieran(19) im sure no one would want to look afer him for me. people laugh when i say that my 16 looks after my 19 year old while im at work,then i have to explain the reason why.

 

 

lynn

[Kathryn]

Lou lou,

 

<'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I hope you get your hours sorted out. Don't let them make you feel guilty - you have rights as a carer.

 

 

 

K x

[phasmid]

<'> >< Blimey, what a mess. Let's hope everything is calmer today for everyone. Hopefuly your mum will come round. I suppose if it was the first full-on meltdown she has seen it was probably a bit of a shock. have a few virtual <'> <'>

[tsmom]

<'> <'> <'> i hope you get it sorted

[Tylers-mum]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[UltraMum]

loulou <'> <'>

[loulou]

Hi,

 

Not any better today . My mum won't have Kai tomorrow so i've had to phone my manager to say i won't be able to work.

 

It's not like my mum hasn't seen any meltdowns before, but i think she takes it personally. I feel really bad. I think i'll just have to go it alone now, and not rely on anyone to look after him when i'm working. I don't want to fall out with my parents.

 

They are usually quite understanding, but today my Dad said, "He'll just have to learn that he can't behave like that and go around breaking things and being rude." I give up.

 

As for the washing machine, it will cost ?120 to repair .

 

Loulou x (still feeling sorry for myself)

[lil_me]

<'> Hope you get things sorted

[Suze]

...........sweetie how awful for you. I hope your mum can forgive and forget

[bid]

Oh, Loulou <'> <'>

 

Bid

[mum22boys]

Thinking of you loulou. <'> <'> <'>

 

Hope things work out ok.

 

mum22boys

[Carol]

oh no Loulou you must be feeling awful, it's such a conflict trying to work & balance the childcare & everything else.

 

hope you have success with your hours.

 

 

((((((((((big hugs)))))))

 

Carol

[hev]

loulou,sorry to hear things are tough for you at moment,youve given me helpful advice in the past when ive been down(most days!)i really do hope you get something sorted and they let you change your hours at work,take care love hev

[loulou]

Thanks for all the hugs everyone, i really needed them <'> .

 

Kai's been really quiet today, and has taken himself off to bed upset because he ripped up a picture he drew me .

 

Ho hum....................

 

Loulou x

[kirstie]

<'> Lou-lou,

What a dilemma you're in.

I don't work, even before i had the baby. it's changed days, years ago you were frowned upon for working whilst you hada young family and nowadays your frowned upon if you don't. But the reason i don't is because of the very situation your experiencing right now. No-one would have Lewis when he was little even for a couple of hours because they couldn't handle him. I wish people could understand the hardships we face with these situations.

I hope you get your hours sorted and that Kai is ok, have a glass or two of wine you deserve it. <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[jessie]

hi lou lou

I think most of us can understand how awful this whole experience must be. I don't often ask my mum uless I have no alternative to watch my two (older 13 year old hhas AS/ADHD ) and remain on edge when I do. I have had to miss part of work on three occasions this week and I only work three days a week . School demanding I take him home. My boss has so far been understanding but I don't know how long that will last. He has a meeting with the hospital staff this week which will mean missing yet another pm and there are more meetings on the way. I usually try and make up the time but that is no longer possible...

 

Just lettting you know you are not alone.

 

I'm sure your parents will calm down soon. I see my own mum being horrified at my son when things get bad and she tries to understand but it's so alien for her. She had five of us and none of us where anything like my son.

Get her round for a coffee when you know that Kai is going to be calm with his fav' toys or video's etc....she probably feels that she has failed as she was once a parent to young children and managed fine.

 

good luck

jessie

[jannyk]

Hope thing are sorted with your mum soon . I really feel for you , nobody ever wanted to look after my three and now after 14 years my mum took my youngest ds to the cinema twice within a couple of months as she thinks nobody has ever bothered about him, i think she feels guilty. when i had a job working 5-9pm i relied on older dd and ds to look after their brother as there was nobody else dh worked shifts.you deserve these <'> <'> <'> hope Kai is ok now x

[sue45]

Lou Lou - I'm so sorry, I really feel for you. I hope your mum has a change of heart and that work let you change your hours.

 

 

Sue

 

xx

[asereht]

Lou lou you have always given me good advice ,don't know how to advise on this one ,I had to give up work twice and am currently at home, hope things improve,let us know how things go with your work/contract arrangements.fingers crossed.

 

Theresa <'> <'>

[tsmom]

Is there a support group near you.You need people around no-one can deal with all this alone.I know you have the forum but maybe someone close by who is going through simmilar things may help.

I hope yr mom calms down.My mom used to look after Tori full time but i gave up work when she was 20months as it was getting to much for my mom.My mom wont have a word said against her mom sticks up for her all the time,unfortunatly moms in poor health and so i wouldnt leave the kids with her due to that.

I work when my hubbys home to look after the kids.I only work part time in a supermarket but its adult company and extra cash.At the moment i couldnt deal with a job that needed more from me as i feel i give so much to tori theres nothing left

i really hope you and yr folks can get this sorted even if it mans they no longer look after kai you still need their emotional support yourself.

Hugs tsmom

[loulou]

Thanks everyone,

 

As far as my Mum and Dad go, they are coming for dinner today, as Kai likes to play "restaurant" with them. My mum said she thought she wouldn't come as Kai was so awful on Friday, but i said that punishment after the event was not fair. She has got over the trauma of Friday but she says she will not look after Kai anymore while i'm working .

What really upset her is that Kai used the F word rather alot (he has learnt it at school) and my mum is EXTREMELY anti-swearing.

 

As far as Kai goes, he has had another MASSIVE rage this morning, because i asked him to change his trouseres before we went out. I shut myself in my room to get away from him and he ripped a big hole in his bedroom floor. I'm really p***** off because i only put the floor down 1 month ago and it took me ages. We subsequently didn't go out and i'm going to make him pay to replace the floor.

 

I'm going to call SS again tomorrow b/c i've had enough of this now. I'll try to find a support group too.

 

Loulou x

[hev]

oh loulou,i think finding a support group will help you,im going to one again on the 2nd feb as i stopped going but i need it again,has he calmed down now?

[lil_me]

The paris directory usually lists most support groups. Social services might be able to suggest suitable child care, my main reason for not working is no suitable childcare.

[faye]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> awwwww big hugs loulou hope you get something sorted soon

[faye]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> awwwww big hugs loulou hope you get something sorted soon