smiley Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Hi, The autism outreach team went into school this morning. Just popped up to school to have a chat with teacher and 1-2-1 to see how it went. Most of it sounds really positive - backing up much of what i've said. BUT, i'm a bit worried about some of the things the teacher and 1-2-1 said. This was their take on it...... The autism outreach person said that some behaviour is due to autism and some of it bad behaviour..... fine so far, although i feel the 'bad' behaviour they see at school is because he's confused, worried, in overload etc. This bad behaviour never happens at home....... The teacher and 1-2-1 had big smiles and were saying 'We can clamp down on the bad behaviour now'. It felt like a free-for-all on my son . I can understand they're frustrated and want to challenge him when he's behaving badly - but, i really don't think this is the right way to go about it. Im praying, the outreach worker is going to give them ways to disapline him that's suitable for a child with AS - and not just let them make it up as they go along. I'm worried they could do some real damage . Oh help!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 23, 2006 (edited) Smiley get in touch with the Outreach Team and clarfiy what there take on this mornings observations really were. If they are indeed saying that some of your sons behaviour is simply bad behaviour than I would have serious concerns about this statement, and would point out that you do not have this behaviour at home! If you can not reach them today make sure you leave a message saying that it is urgent that you speak to them. Don't let it be open season for making your son tow the line at school. Behaviour happens for a reason and if it's not happening at home then that means the school are doing something wrong as much as they will not want to hear that. Edited January 23, 2006 by carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Carole - Thank you <'> This has really worried me I don't have the contact details for the outreach worker - I'll dig about and see if i can find them. 'This behaviour happens for a reason' is exactly what i was saying to them. They said nothing - just looked at each other . It was the first time i've had a 'point and stare at the bad parent' moment - gotta say - it was awful Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Ring your LEA and ask them for a contact number for the team (says she trying hard not to sound bossy ) In my opinion this team should always feed back to the parent because we have found where I live that what the school tells the parent is often a million light years away from what the team actually said Again trying hard not to sound nasty about schools - but it's how they have understood what has been said to them that matters. Often they latch onto the bits they want to hear and ignore the rest. Do your stuff woman - you are 'NOT' a bad parent and they need that one underlining. Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jill Report post Posted January 23, 2006 This is bad. They must clarify this statement now, or they are giving the school carte blanche to handle things as they see fit (& we all know where THAT leads) Rather than "punishing" the "bad" behaviour, they ought to be looking at the triggers of the behaviour (as it's not really bad behaviour, it's just a reaction to something in the environment that your child doesn't understand or can't cope with & he is just reacting in the only way he can). The Boy had some behaviour that we needed to resolve & the LEA set up a "monitoring diary". The nursery kept a record every time he did something unacceptable - lashing out, door slamming, hitting other children - to say what happened just before he did what he did. They found that he was lashing out at one particular child because that child was hitting him first (personally I therefore think he was quite within his rights to retaliate) - this lead to closer monitoring of the other child and identifying numerous probs which is another story..... Anyway, I won't go into detail and waffle unecessarily but, suffice to say, they established what the triggers were for the behaviour and put steps in place to stop these triggers from occurring & the result was that The Boy's unacceptable behaviour stopped so no "punishment" (which I don't agree with anyway) was needed. Some of the things they put in place were really simple - just ways to help The Boy understand certain situations better so he didn't get so stressed by them. Anyway <'> mate, get it clarified, sort out what they mean, let them know that the school is using this dangerous statement to support their own agenda. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Bu**er !! I can't find the number... Hubby's home by two - so i'm off to school - to 'clarify' the situation and get that womans number !! Just need to get into the fighting spirit - doin' faaaarrrrrr too much of this these days... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Hmmmmmmmmmm Think i've figured it out........still annoyed... Seems to be a boundaries thing - M's teacher still feels he is capable of 'being autistic and badly behaved' *her words.....*. At present - EP has told school not to comment / disapline / etc if something happens. Autism outreach has said M needs boundaries to enable him to feel safe. Therefore - M does need to have it explained to him if behaviour is unacceptable... I suggested M's behaviour is as a result of something upsetting him. If they can find the upset - then they have no need to disapline him because the behaviour won't be there....... I suggested the outreach worker may have meant explaining accepted/unacceptable behaviour could be taught to M via social story etc..... That there was little point trying to explain it to M mid melt down... Teacher feels M 'pushes it - and is able to do as he pleases'. She feels he manipulates things ie; he is alowed time out from the classroom - whereby he goes out of the room and sits in the library (directly opposite classroom door) if he needs to. Teacher wants to stop him leaving the classroom - she feels he is defiant and subborn and just doesn't want to be in the room. Don't get me wrong - little monkey can sometimes be a ...... little monkey - i'm not saying he's an angel. BUT, the majority of bad behaviour (if not all) is as a result of some anxiety within him. This seems to be the bit the teacher is missing. To top it all - last week, M had a great week. He has 1-2-1 in the morning and a fab TA is his 'unofficial' 1-2-1 in the afternoon. This lovely TA has been coming into work early - just to support M at lunchtime (unpaid!). Last week there were NO problems. Brought this up with teacher.........'hmmmmm, yeah, suppose'..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Teacher has a nice understanding of ASDs then. What a lovely supportive attitude.... NOT! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Smiley I think that clarification in writing from Autism Outreach person and then meeting with SENCO and Autism Outreach to have clear understanding and definitions. I don't think that anyone worth their salt who claims to be autism outreach would have suggested that your child is leaving the classroom because they are stubborn - this is the teachers slant on it and you need to nip it in the bud - quick!!! Love HelenL PS - I can rustle up the gang from round these parts Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
microsoft_admin Report post Posted January 23, 2006 think they would come to bournmouth ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Helen Can just imagine the 'gang' I've been trying to track down the Outreach lady direct - no joy so far. I asked the SENco (who is also horrible Head) for her number - said she'll try to find it for me.......... didn't have the killer instincts to demand it there and then. I'll keep at it tomorrow. Definately need something in writing. And definatley need someone to make it very clear to teacher !! She seemed to be getting it in recent weeks. Shame she obviously hasn't.. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clintess Report post Posted January 23, 2006 hiya,if teacher doesnt give you number then call your lea as they will have it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Hi Smiley You don't have to go through the school to get the number for the Outreach Team. The LEA should be more than able to give you their number. You must have an SEN section within the LEA - ring them and ask. You don't have to say why you want it or who you are. I have to say that I agree with Phasmid - they really do have a wonderful understanding of ASD NOT Carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted January 23, 2006 agree with carole and phasmid......clarification from out reach , and request a copy of their report(you should get one anyhow).Next time they go into school request a meeting with them afterwards at school to go over their findings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted January 23, 2006 You must get clarification from the outreach service as to what actually happened at this meeting. Perhaps the teacher has mis-understood what they have been told or have simply decided that because they were not given clear instructions they can interpret it as they see fit - that has a familiar ring to it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
microsoft_admin Report post Posted January 23, 2006 (edited) Hi Smiley You don't have to go through the school to get the number for the Outreach Team. The LEA should be more than able to give you their number. You must have an SEN section within the LEA - ring them and ask. You don't have to say why you want it or who you are. I have to say that I agree with Phasmid - they really do have a wonderful understanding of ASD NOT Carole all though i am not a parent (i was the child but now i am the young adult <im 18> with as) i think i can safly say that unless you are either a parent of and asd child or some one who has asd it is impossible for you to understand it so i definitly agree with I have to say that I agree with Phasmid - they really do have a wonderful understanding of ASD NOT Carole eaven though not 100% shure what she was refering to (i am agreeing with the bit that says they really do have a wonderful understanding of ASD NOT and assuming it is refering to teachers) Edited January 23, 2006 by microsoft_admin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smallworld Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Hi, you can probably find the outreach team's number on your council website, cutting out the middle man ! Good luck, I hope you get to the bottom of what was actually said, wac Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted January 23, 2006 Sorry to sound negative, but be sure that the teacher didn't just throw in the 'bad behaviour' bit for good measure and entirely off her own back! If this is not the case then as they seem to have little knowledge of dealing with ASD children, then she may have misinterpreted what the outreach team had said. I really cannot see that the outreach team would make a comment like that, I have personaly been told by an outreach team person that they often end up very disheartened after trying their very best to put things into place for kids, especially when none of it is followed through by the school. Maybe they think that you'll never get to meet the outreach worker, I made sure I met them and used to request meetings with them at the school. Hope you get this sorted! BTW Have you handed the teacher a copy of 'a guide to classroom practice'? maybe you could sneak it through the window so it lands on the staffroom table. All the best. Brook Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted January 25, 2006 Parent partnership will give you the number and also ask for the email address. The out reach team are difficult to talk to because they are on visit so its best to phone and ask them to contact you. Or put it in an email. Once you have spoken to them it means you are both working from the same book to support your child and both of you can challenge the school. I would ask the teacher what training she had with ASD and what she understands of your childs difficulties (do not tell her your child difficulties). If you are not happy with her knowledge ask to speak to the head and school governors re training for all the staff. Some teachers will not change even after training but then they are discriminating against your son. Does your son have a statement Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 28, 2006 Thank you for all your relpies <'> Bit of an update - I haven't managed to get in touch with the AOW, i have left messages - sent emails etc. But, i do have the SALT report from her last visit, two weeks ago... I states his problems that are conected with AS, but also says... 'While acknowledging that many of M's social dificulties are due to his Aspergers Syndrome, some of the behaviours i observed, could not, i feel, be directly attributed to this diagnosis, but presented as being more of a behavioural issue. I feel M needs some sort of behaviour modification programme to explain/teach him some behavioural rules/boundaries - for his own safety, for the sake of his peers and to fit him for the rules that life imposes' I trust this SALT - and we have a good relationship. What does that mean?? We don't have the verbal or physical agression at home. It often feels like i'm reading about a different child in his home school book.. How can i help him, if i'm not seeing this behaviour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 28, 2006 (edited) What does that mean?? We don't have the verbal or physical agression at home. It often feels like i'm reading about a different child in his home school book.. How can i help him, if i'm not seeing this behaviour By making sure that you put this in writing and send it to the SALT (yes ours is also brilliant but when push comes to shove she bats for the LEA) also the Outreach Team, The SENCO and anyone else you think should be reading this information. I would personally request a meeting now with these people on the grounds that you have no knowledge of the child whom they are commenting about because he is 'NOT' displaying in the way that they are saying he does at school, in the home. This is a massive issue and I know for a fact that our Outreach Team would listen and take it on board. This is the only thing I think you can do now. Document your concerns and make them official. Then they will have to respond. In fact I would ask for a response within say 2 weeks. Carole Edited January 28, 2006 by carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
helenl53 Report post Posted January 28, 2006 I agree with Carole, Smiley (Not Carole Smiley) - at the moment, this is lying on the file as a behavioural issue and therefore - probably interepreted as poor parenting! Sorry to harp on about this - but you must challenge any attempt to portray your childs difficulties as 'environment' induced. There will be behaviours in our kids that will be down to them just 'being kids' but there will be a lot of behaviours that are caused by their inability to cope with the school situation. I don't know what is going on - but it seems like everyone in the Childrens' Services have had their memory banks wiped clean of any reference to ASD's and replaced with the notion that these kids are being parented by cr*p parents. It is happening to the gang around these here parts as well Best wishes HelenL Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lucas Report post Posted January 30, 2006 If behaviour is bad at school but not home, then it is 'enviroment-induced' actually, but it's not the parent that's to blame because the parent is not at school inducing the enviroment that creates ill-behaviour. The problem I have is that I can't understand a word of it, 'bad behaviour' is a very broad and general term which means "What we don't like but aren't really specifying what it is we don't like". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 30, 2006 Oh For **$**%**&**** The SALT isn't in work until Wednesday...........The LEA wont give me the direct number for AOW..('You'll need to speak to the Parent Patnership for that information')........Parent Partnership woman isn't in today....... Have written something in home/school book.....I've left 2 Emails and 2 messages with the school the AOW is from........ Head/SENco disapeared as soon as she saw me (and was then 'busy' ) The teacher and 1-2-1 'couldn't possibly talk about this now'....... Why the bl**dy hell won't anyone listen!! I want to speak to the AOW and SALT before i get a letter out to all and sundry - to clarify exactly what happened. But that's obviously not going to happen before mid-week and i want this stamped on now. Anyone good with letters? What shall i put - i'm useless at writing letters when i'm hacked off!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted January 30, 2006 (edited) Smiley Give me some bullet points and I will see what I can come up with if you want a letter. However I - who must have been a terrier in a previous life - would not give up here. I would now phone my local Councillor and ask why the AOW has such a protected number? I would ask what they have to hide? This is quite shocking. I would make them aware of the run around you are having while they all cover their own backs here Send me your bullets and I'll fire em for you Decided this does not read well - send me your information and I will help you - less militant Carole Edited January 30, 2006 by carole Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 30, 2006 Aw - Carole, bless ya' hun your a sweetie. <'> I'll PM you when Little ones in bed. xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jen Report post Posted January 30, 2006 Some of the numbers can be obtained on the local education website. May be the number you want is not listed ring one of the other LEA numbers and ask them. What LEA are you under Jen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted February 1, 2006 Hi all - Carole, sorry i didn't get round to PMing you the other night - ended up with hubby in hospital having an op!! (He's home now ) Annnnyhow.... Finally received an email back from AOW... "Please email parent and explain that if she requires any information she must contact the school. They have all the information and have been given strategies to help M******. It is not the policy of the out reach provider to give parents information. i am not working with M***** I am only a resourse, all be it a human one. Each child is different I provide the therory, the school adapts it to meet the child's individual needs. Should she want to speak to me she must talk to the school. The school could call a meeting and invite all the professional working with M*** and if this happens then I will attend that meeting and will give a verbal and a written report. So - NO - i'm not allowed to contact her. Think i may be requesting that meeting though..... Have been on training course all day - so haven't tried the SALT lady yet. BUT - have spoken to school (teacher, 1-2-1, SENco....) and made my feelings VERY clear, it's all in written in H/S book - with agreements written in by teacher and 1-2-1. Oddly enough, the teacher and 1-2-1 were very much in agreement with me - from what i can gather, this is the Head's doing and they are having to tow the line. Still annoyed at the teachers comments..... But, i'm getting somewhere - slowly, slowly, catchy monkey........... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
