"Growing out of autism"

[Stephanie]

Yes, maybe I am just in denial and I know for a fact that ASD is lifelong and just doesn't go away .. but in the last year my son seems to have grown out of most of his "traits" and I feel that if he was assessed now, the results of the assessment might differ from when he was officially assessed a year ago. The improvement he has made in a year has been quite remarkable. He is very high functioning anyway and not "text book" but then who is?? He is now 4 coming up to 5 years old. Maybe I am clutching at straws and being an idiot but has anyone else been through similar???

 

He is in mainstream school, doing really well - a few problems on the social side, but nothing major.

 

I don't want him re-assessed or anything as he is doing so well on all the help he is currently getting.

 

Feel free to tell me I am being an idiot - I probably need to be told!

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi Stephanie,

 

Is it possible that since his DX you have "grown into autism" - ie that because you are more aware of what brings on his problems you can catch them before they get out of control and therefore he manages that much easier.

 

I have to admit that since my son's DX and my time on this forum and reading up on AS my boy has begun to live a more manageable life not because he has changed but because we have - we understand him better.

 

Judging what people say here autism changes with age, teenagers, pre-teens and toddlers being particularly awkward times.

 

Hope things continue positvely for you both

 

Daisy

[Paula]

My sons autistic behaviour hes As was at its worse when he was younger.Mainley because we didnt know anything about autism and there fore didnt know haw best to handle him and we hadnt learnt what triggered his particular problems and his behaviour.

 

I think all Autistic people and Aspies can adapt and controll aspects of there behaviour so that they appear at first glance to be normal.I know my son used to freak if hed to say walk on grass and then suddenly it changed and he was on tarmac.Hed refuse to move and we had to carry him.he now doesnt freak when the surface he walks on changes.Hes learnt its safe if that makes sence.

 

 

I often think especialy when things are going well its all a mistake and perhaps hes just a normal boy who is a little eccentric at times.Then WHAM out of nowhere maybe because of stress age god knows all the forgotten behavioures and obsessions are back in full force againe and were right back to where we were ten years ago.

[jb1964]

Stephanie,

I have read quite a few times that certain children have been diagnosed at an early age with X only for the diagnosis to be incorrect and changed to Y as they get older.

 

When you say your little one seems to have grown out of many of his 'traits' - do you mean his obsessions/tantrums etc or do you mean his social and communication problems?

 

We've only just had our daughter diagnosed and she's 12 - when she was going through her assessment - the consultants said that we had adapted and made so many changes in our family life without realising we were doing it to help her. However, since we've known we are even more aware now of what not to say or to try and speak very specifically when giving instructions or explanations (that's not to say that I don't get it wrong on at least several occasions every day!!!) which avoid possible problems.

 

Over the years there have been variances in her behaviour but usually just manifesting in different ways, or different obsessions, her communication and social problems have always been apparent - it is only really her 'tantrums', 'obsessions' and 'depressions' that have varied.

 

Having said that every child has different things in their lives that can causes their anxieties and difficulties to be much worse. Like bullying for instance or a teacher that isn't very understanding there is no or little control over this especially when your child has communication problems in letting you know what the problem is.

 

Obviously all AS children are so different - although with schools especially at infant/primary - the big changes are inevitably from class to class school to school, teacher to teacher and all to do with routine and structure. I know the CPN told us that from about 4-11yrs they have a very structured day in school with one teacher and the same classroom for the whole year.

 

Hope your son continues to do well - it looks like you're doing a marvellous job. Well done.

Edited January 26, 2006 by jb1964

[mossgrove]

It depends what you mean by 'growing out' of Autism.

 

People with Autism can and do make rapid progress in terms of learning to deal with day-to-day life especially if the right support is there. It is one of the many 'Autisn Myths' that becuause the condition is lifelong the child will not progress. But this isn't the same thing as growing out of Autism.

 

You will often find that the progress made is much less eveident if the child's routine is disrupted, or support is withdrawn because the child is 'coping so well'. I am not suggesting for an instant that you should do this, but if you withdrew the support that he currently gets, many of the traits that are no longer evident could return.

 

The other point is that your son is still young, so his differences from those about him will not be as eveident. Anecdotally, a lot of Autistic Children seem to find mainstream gets much more difficult at aroiund year 3 when their peers start to make very rapid advances socially and the Autistic child gets left behind. Adolescence can also be a very difficult time.

 

It is of course possible for a child to be misdiagnosed with Autism, and they can subsequently appear to recover, but that is misdiagnosis not recovery.

 

I am sorry if this sounds overly negative, it isn't meant to.There are helpful interventions for Autism, but it is never cured or recovered from.

 

 

Simon

[pumpkinpie]

I dont think its a case of growing out of it . Hes been lucky to get an early diagnosis and help in school so he doesnt have to go through that feeling of a failure. It sounds that school are doing ok and your family aer aware of what things help him. Enjoy this time, but just keep an eye on his support at annual reviews etc to makesure he does continue to get this level of help in the future.

[LizK]

One of the reasons we were advised to wait for a diagnosis with my son is that some children apparently do mature out seeming ASD-like behaviour as their brain matures and develops. Paed said this is particularly common in children under the age of six as development and brain maturity varies so much. I don't know whether my H would officially be classed as being on the autistic spectrum as a child but he certainly had some very strong traits. He was an anxious odd obsessive child with few friends who was put in the remedial class at primary school, the way they seemed to deal with anything out of the ordinary then. He remembers having various sensory issues and that the world was a confusing place for him. Then he turned 11, the world suddenly seemed to make sense and life become much more enjoyable and easier for him. To meet him now you would think he was NT though I know him well enough to pick up a few AS quirks which become more apparent when he's stressed, ill or tired. I guess he's in that grey area between NT and ASD. I know someone else with one son on the spectrum whose second child seems to have largely outgrown his ASD features and does well at home and secondary school with no additional support. So yes I think from personal experience it is possible though I think there will also be some residual ASD traits left

 

Equally so though children with ASD do move around the spectrum. Even though my son is only four I've seen him varying in his functioning. I find that if he's being given the right support and 'handled' well his ASDness is much less apparent but pull that away from him and he functions less well. Could this be why things are easier with your son maybe?

 

Whatever the reason though it's great to hear that he's doing so well

 

Liz x

[Jill]

Can't really add much to what the others have said, but the funny thing is that recently we've thought that The Boy (who is 4 tomorrow) seemed "more" autistic

 

I think it's because the differences between him and his peer group are becoming more obvious as they grow older - he's not developing at the same rate.

 

I'm just hoping that the help he's getting now will help to close the gap somewhat.

 

Having said that I'm so used to his quirks and funny ways now that I think I'd miss 'em if they went

[oracle]

No dx should ever be written in stone and maybe a dx of ASD would not be the right dx for your son now?

 

I have two sons with ASD. The eldest was not diagnosed until he was 13 years old. However between the ages of 3 and 5 life was a nightmare for both him and us, and then he did settle down and I wondered if I had imagined everything. At the time he was given a dx of an over anxious Mum making him an over anxious child When he was 11 he crashed out of the system after a total breakdown and this was followed by a dx of AS two years later. David grew out of his autism (if this is how you want to put it) and then back into it.

 

My youngest was given his dx aged 3 and by the time he was 5 ,and we had taken him out of school, he was a much changed child. In fact until six moths ago I thought that we had not actually overcome his autism but had handled him and his autism so well that it was almost invisible most of the time. WRONG - six months ago his autism began to jump out and smack us in the face again. He has changed so much during the last six months that I can hardly equate him to the child that was playing outside without a care in the world last summer Matthew will be nine in March.

 

I was once told that children with ASD have peaks troughs and that you were either living through a peak or a trough. I however had no idea that a peak could last for almost four years

 

Carole

Edited January 26, 2006 by carole

[ceecee]

Apparently my a.s. traits are also worst when i am tired or stressed.

[Bullet]

I don't think you can ever truly grow out of an ASD, but you can learn and progress. I wish there had been the help available now (scant as it is in some cases it's far better than even fifteen years ago) that could have recognised the problems I had. As a toddler and young child my ASD symptoms were more obvious. Then I got to school and they seemed to lessen. Because I was being taught how to behave and was trying to fit in. But I still had terrible trouble communicating. The only time I became articulate was through my writing, most of the time I couldn't talk to people unless it was to answer a question or when I was at home. I can remember a teacher asking me if I was ok because I'd been crying and I couldn't tell him. I wasn't embarrassed, or frightened, I just wasn't able to open my mouth and say what was wrong. But if I could have written down what was the matter I'd have been able to. Something as simple as that, because I could talk and was doing well academically, was not picked up on. My symptoms didn't disappear, but I learnt what was expected to appear normal and became very good at putting on a mask at school which invariably slipped when I got home.

[Tally]

As a child I was far 'more' autistic than I am now. As an infant, I behaved in ways that you would associate more with low-functioning autism, and I refused to speak to adults (except my parents) until I was about 8. Now I definitely fall into the Asperger's category, hold down a full time job, a marriage, and own my own home, even if there are some misunderstandings along the way.

[Kathryn]

As a child I was far 'more' autistic than I am now. As an infant, I behaved in ways that you would associate more with low-functioning autism, and I refused to speak to adults (except my parents) until I was about 8. Now I definitely fall into the Asperger's category, hold down a full time job, a marriage, and own my own home, even if there are some misunderstandings along the way.

 

Tally,

 

It's very encouraging for me as, the parent of an AS teenager, to hear of experiences like yours.

 

K

[IAmNotPrinceHamlet]

As a child I was far 'more' autistic than I am now. As an infant, I behaved in ways that you would associate more with low-functioning autism, and I refused to speak to adults (except my parents) until I was about 8. Now I definitely fall into the Asperger's category, hold down a full time job, a marriage, and own my own home, even if there are some misunderstandings along the way.

 

 

Same here, Tally. I'm an Aspie, but I own my own home (almost paid off the mortgage), I'm self-employed and I am a mother of an Aspie son. Like Ceecee, my behaviour does lapse when I am stressed or tired. It's taken me most of my life to learn how to act in a semi-normal way. I get away with people thinking I'm just eccentric now. I'm also a good actress - I mirror, which helps a lot.

[Zemanski]

Kids with ASDs tend to vary in their presentation over time so that at some points they may seem pretty much like their peers and at others they are obviously different.

As many others have said stress and support play a major part in this.

 

your son may enjoy the structure of the day in mainstream and at 4 the social structure within school is not so complex and can be coped with pretty well by some AS kids. Also if there was language delay this may well have 'caught up' in the last year, (often a diagnosis of autism is withheld till 5 or so because it is quite common to have a spurt of development around 4 or 5 years in children on the spectrum).

 

7-9 seem to be the most critical years in terms of recognising AS - at this stage, moving into KS2 the social complexity of school life suddenly increases, expectations rise, pressure to achieve grows and greater independence and maturity is expected. This is the age most problems are recognised and diagnoses are given, but sometime kids can be OK till they get into high school or even longer.

 

I suppose what I am saying is that you should be feeling pretty fantastic about your son making such brilliant progress but that it is probably too soon to hope that it might be a misdiagnosis.

clinicians rarely give a diagnosis of AS without being pretty certain it is - look at how many people here have long and bitter battles for diagnosis, often lasting years - and perhaps your son now has the support he needs to overcome a lot of his difficulties, which bodes very well for his future ability to grow into a well adjusted and fulfilled adult, but there may be hiccups and set-backs along the way.

 

enjoy the times you can but be aware that things may change again - I hope the changes are always for the better

 

Zemanski

[microsoft_admin]

is that eaven a phisical possibility

[Stephanie]

Thanks for your replies!! And no one said "Stephanie, you are such an idiot" - that has to be a good start.

 

You said some great things, negative and positive that I will use going forward.

 

I think part of it is my "coming to terms" with the whole thing a bit better, I feel great at the moment, and feel that I am accepting it all a whole lot better. We still haven't told the family yet because we don't see the need. When he was diagnosed last year, it was like my whole world had come crashing down and I saw the bleakest of pictures for his future. I never dreamed that he would progress so much as he has done in the last year. Don't get me wrong, he still has a long way to go in terms of communication and social understanding but he shows very little in the way of traits (no tantrums, readily accepts change, wanting to and trying to make friends, no flapping, uses imagination, talks a lot better, initiates conversations, has learned to pedal a bike, can read beyond year 2 level).

 

Whilst he is in a small infant school I really don't have many concerns although when he changes school at 7 - that may be a turning point, and I have to make sure he goes into the right environment for him.

 

And yes, I have noticed he is worse when he's tired.

 

I will take your advice and make the most of all this whilst I can.

 

Thanks - mwah! Stephanie