ceecee Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Hi All I originally joined this forum about fifteen months ago.This was for the following reasons. I was beginning to suspect that I had a.s. tendancies. I also suspected that both my father and brother have a.s. I felt I needed to find some answers to the distress it was causing me. The most important reason was to help parents in some small way with children on the spectrum. As most of you know my daughter was severely autistic for six months and i felt I wanted to give something back in some way because i was very lucky and she made a full recovery. Once I have recovered from the post traumatic stress that her illness has caused me i shall probably go and help at a local asd pre school group.This was something I wanted to do in the meantime share my knowledge and support others in a situation i was unfortunately slightly familiar with. However I feel that I am no longer able to do this as I don't feel it is fair to other people on this forum for my brother hidden Gem or Tania Glass or whatever else he is going to be and me to be on the same forum. Consequently I won't be posting on this forum any longer just reading the posts every now and again but i would like to wish you all well for the future and carry on fighting for your childrens rights. I am unsure of my brother's reasons for posting on a forum when he assures me he does not have a.s. despite ticking most boxes but Hidden Gem the stage is all yours.I hope you are also coming onto this forum to give others support and not just for yourself. Thanks to all for answering my many questions and for all your help and advice over the past fifteen months when i was practically at the end of my teather. Best wishes ceecee Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tylers-mum Report post Posted January 27, 2006 I haven't been here for a few days so am kinda lost but just wanted to wish you all the very best for the future and to thank you for advise you have given me in the past. May your future be a happy and healthy one. ((((HUGS)))) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Hi ceecee - Sorry to hear you feel this way, and i hope you will continue to use the forum to find information you want or need. That applies to TG too. Obviously I would not offer comment on your family dynamics, other than to say i hope you can both find some way to 'mend bridges'... Very VERY best BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
phasmid Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Nothing to say that badders hasn't already said You know where to find us, and I'm sure you'll be warmly welcomed. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted January 27, 2006 (edited) Ceecee , We might not have seen eye to eye on some threads but I wish you the very best of luck for the future. Take care of yourself.... <'> Theresa Edited January 27, 2006 by asereht Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyProudfoot Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Take care Ceecee, give my best to you and yours. Hope you find your answers and you and James can sort out your differences. Daisy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nikrix Report post Posted January 27, 2006 I am also sorry to hear this. I wish you well and hope at some point in your lifes you can sort out your differences. Take care Nikrix Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
call me jaded Report post Posted January 27, 2006 ceecee Hope you two get sorted. Take care. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OPooh Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Oh am sorry to hear you are leaving. The best of luck to you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UltraMum Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Ceecee - will miss you - hope you get things sorted in your family Eve Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brook Report post Posted January 27, 2006 Take care ceecee. <'> All the best. Brook <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted January 28, 2006 Ceecee, I am sorry you feel like this, i am going to pm you! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted January 28, 2006 Me too <'> <'> <'> Love Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanya Glass Report post Posted January 28, 2006 (edited) Me too <'> <'> <'> Love Hailey If am allowed to post, in the sense I don't want to get personal. Firstly - everyone needs things in their life - for my sister gives her a sense of belonging, she is part of something and she relates to people or interacts with people in way which I am not aware she has ever had in her life. Her post here, understandbly, is a defensive reaction, because I have waded into this forum and invaded her space, she is feeling threatened and understandbly upset. I have no wish to take this away from someone, I can be cruel and petty, but there are limits. I would like a relationship - I lose out by not having one - but I am not Aspergers James - I am James - sadly in two years none of us really no each other - in citing my AS tendancies i was told about my ability to date films and my knowledge about cars. Anyone who really knows would have picked my scary love of Marc Bolan and music. Discovering Marc Bolan at 16 opended my eyes to art, writing and music, and changed hwo I was forever, much of my influences in who I am and why i write come from this explosive period in my life when i discovered great music, such Marc Bolan and Lennon. I am always here for her, as i would be for anyone, I have been to the bottom and I know how lonely and painful it is. But you have to get to know people and sometimes except that when peronal relationships go wrong - it is not because someone has an illness or condition, it is becuase we are all individuals and sometimes as human beings we just do not rub along together. I am awkward sod and I take my time with people. My reason for coming here is trust, I have a small amount to offer in terms of professional experience, direct payments, respite etc. My reason after discovering that for a year and half that distortions of the truth, comments about my partner and me, personal conversations turned into AS - there was an issues of trust, I could not simply not check what was been posted. Reading what I read on here, I was deeply disturbed, I never knew my sister was posting intimate conversations, comments about me. Things about how much I sweat for example or the one about time, most of things are just what people say, not to be anyalised to death and turned into AS. I was heartbroken to read what she thought and how she used it to gain sympathy and attention. I am a fully fuctioning adult, with adult relationships, a tough responsible job. It's about being honest with yourself and the world around. Anyway, shall be leaving this forum back to Ceecee, I will continue to urge her to seek DX. Sometimes a cry for help is well hidden, yet that does not mean the tears do not need to be wiped away. James x PS HB Edited January 28, 2006 by Tanya Glass Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kirstie Report post Posted January 28, 2006 Tanya Glass, I have read your post, gone away and come back again! I aknowledge you are feeling upset and hurt , but i do not agree that ceecee was coming here and seeking sympathy and attention, that's harsh and i think we will have to agree to disagree on that one. We all talk about things here that can be deemed as personal and intimate but we all have the same intentions, to help understand ourselves, our children and loved ones. I am sorry you and your sister don't see eye to eye, but by the sounds of it i suspect you would like that to be different. It saddens me to think that Ceecee won't be posting anymore. I wish you both well and hope you can resolve your problems. It is so rewarding to have a sister you're close to. Take care, kirstie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted January 28, 2006 I,m sorry ceecee won,t be posting anymore, and I agree with Kirstie aswell.This forum is a lovely place to find help and understanding and I think this is all that ceecee wanted. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted January 30, 2006 Tanya Glass I was heartbroken to read what she thought and how she used it to gain sympathy and attention. I am a fully fuctioning adult, with adult relationships, a tough responsible job. Then everyone on this forum is guilty of seeking "Sympathy and Attention" get real, and get over yourself. I dont usually get personal, but get over yourself. Everyone that has AS or knows someone that they love or care for goes through a grieving process, its called part of acceptance. If you read any books on AS Autism or Bereavement or loss - we all go through a grieving process. Quote: a book "Sometimes hearts have to break before they heal" by author not necessary, butshe says that talking is part of the grieving process, and we all go through this, we become stuck in our grief if we don't reach the stage of ACCEPTANCE. Whether anyone goes on a forum to talk about anything to dowith AS, they are not attention seeking or looking for sympathy, they are simply place on a another planet to NT individuals and need to find ways to accept and cope with what is. I think TG you need to analyse your choice of words before speaking a lot of rot. I congratulate anyone that is open to discuss anything they have experienced with AS as we are not thinking of ourselves, but their is always someone on here that is inthe dark about AS or Autism issues, and by being open they are in fact helping many people realise their child or their worlds to have a better understanding of them. No wonder you and your sister have a problem if you choose to attack her openly on the forum like this. Well the Moderators wont like my post, so heres one back from me, so you know how it feels. Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tanya Glass Report post Posted January 30, 2006 (edited) Tanya Glass Then everyone on this forum is guilty of seeking "Sympathy and Attention" get real, and get over yourself. I dont usually get personal, but get over yourself. Everyone that has AS or knows someone that they love or care for goes through a grieving process, its called part of acceptance. If you read any books on AS Autism or Bereavement or loss - we all go through a grieving process. Quote: a book "Sometimes hearts have to break before they heal" by author not necessary, butshe says that talking is part of the grieving process, and we all go through this, we become stuck in our grief if we don't reach the stage of ACCEPTANCE. Whether anyone goes on a forum to talk about anything to dowith AS, they are not attention seeking or looking for sympathy, they are simply place on a another planet to NT individuals and need to find ways to accept and cope with what is. I think TG you need to analyse your choice of words before speaking a lot of rot. I congratulate anyone that is open to discuss anything they have experienced with AS as we are not thinking of ourselves, but their is always someone on here that is inthe dark about AS or Autism issues, and by being open they are in fact helping many people realise their child or their worlds to have a better understanding of them. No wonder you and your sister have a problem if you choose to attack her openly on the forum like this. Well the Moderators wont like my post, so heres one back from me, so you know how it feels. Hailey My thoughts exactly, I would urge my sister to continue posting here to find about AS - rather than looking a list of vague symptons and trying to generalise. I would ask her to interact on the forum and get to know individuals - it is through people that you learn and in turn learn about yourself. It was not meant as an attack, more a gracious retreat, granted the choice of words was not well chosen. I am fine with your post, you are entitled to your view. I suspected Ceecee's post would generate this response, I have invaded her space done something quite cruel. I expect I will receive more answers stating a similar view, she's put her heart on the line and I understand the need to protect her, I am bound to look like the big bad wolf, especially with ill chosen words. But still care for her, and wish she would take the journey to understand herself. Sympathy and attention do not have to be negative traits even if it came over like that, strip away those words and you still have a human being. You're right as well, I do need to 'get over myself' as I have said in a PM I am pretty petty petulent and childish at the mo, don't like it, but there you go. No matter how you feel about the reply, you probably do not feel as bad as I do about myself, so fairs fair. In terms of those words, I was reffering in one post particular, regarding myself. I did not like to see myself described as severely autistic, then the the 'i cope part' in response. Having close relatives who suffer from severe disability, this kind of gets on my goat. Best, James Edited January 30, 2006 by Tanya Glass Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted January 30, 2006 (edited) James (Tanya Glass) Thank you for you reply. Please allow me to make one more comment. I would urge my sister to continue posting here to find about AS - rather than looking a list of vague symptons and trying to generalise. I would ask her to interact on the forum and get to know individuals - it is through people that you learn and in turn learn about yourself. I don't feel it is fair to make these comments about your sister on the forum. No one wants to take sides. Perhaps as quoted in the second half of you reply No matter how you feel about the reply, you probably do not feel as bad as I do about myself, so fairs fair. In terms of those words, I was reffering in one post particular, regarding myself. I did not like to see myself described as severely autistic, then the the 'i cope part' in response. Having close relatives who suffer from severe disability, this kind of gets on my goat. I see you are both feeling bad, both want to understand all you can about ASD. Here is the place to support one another. "Severley autistic" are just words someone is trying to understand ASD and these words said in a conversation can be misconstrued. Both you and your sister are in the vacuum of emotions, and then this in turn can make you very hypersensitive to comments or words spoken. You are unable to hear one another "assertively" because you are talking personal issue. But remember, whether anyone talks about severe or mild it doesn't really matter as any parent will tell you, both are as difficult as each other. What I see is a brother and sister that obviously have a huge love and respect for one another - but at the moment 'the issue" is clouding your vision and your hearing of one another. No one needs to point the finger at the other, and no one here wants to get in the firing line, but, I hope you can both get past your anger and hurts and give each other space. Hopefully both come back and enjoy this forum as you both have a lot to contribute, and no one wants to see either of you leave. My son is 18 and he is very typical high functioning ASD, I am homeschooling as he cannot cope in the class environment. He loves Information Technology and is a real geek or computer nerd at this. He is happy that he has ASD and is becoming comfortable with being an Aspie, he's not worried about a label. He is also accepted by his peers. I worry about him every day, have had many a sleepless night over him. Well, I read somewhere that Bill Gates is ASD so, if the brainiest computer guy in the world can do what he has done, I feel relieved that one day my son will find his comfort zone and career path how big or little his goals are. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Anyway James, I picked up that you were saying you feel bad about ASD or being called a person with ASD. I wouldn't trade my son for any other way as he is the most loving precious individual I know. Anyone with ASD should love the skin they are in. As if they are not, it is because they have been misunderstood. We all have the opportunity to learn from this and find the positives out of it and always be honest and hopeful to ourselves, and our ASD family. ASD is not a curse, it is a way of life, we are all here learning the way of life, and supporting each other along the way. Enough said, I wish you both all the best. Love Hailey <'> <'> <'> Edited January 30, 2006 by hallyscomet Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
annie Report post Posted January 30, 2006 Can I remind everyone that a huge part of the success of this forum is down to the friendliness of it's members. Personal attacks on members, be it family members or not, have the potential to cause a great deal of upset. This is not what this forum is about. Can we finally put a stop to the arguing now for the sake of our members and get back to using the forum for it's real purpose. Tanya Glass, we would ask that you make use of the PM system as previously advised. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted January 30, 2006 annie, I'm glad you posted that. This subject which I think first came up last year has upset me a great deal. I for one certainly don't come here to be judgemental about anyone. But I have found it very upsetting that one member feels unable to use this forum freely because their posts have been regularly attacked by another member. Regardless of whether it's family or not, the great beauty of this forum is that we can all relate our PERSONAL experiences without being judged, and without having to go in to lengthy explanations. We have an excellent PM system for sensitive subjects, or for anything we wish to keep private. We are all in danger that our posts could be ridiculed, I for one would hate my posts to be commented on by my son's HT considering she so obviously thinks I have MHBP (either that or I'm paranoid ). Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
