Anger Management

[Hectorshouse]

Hi everyone I know its been a while, lots of things have been going on and I don't want to bore anyone with that old chestnut ... but to the matter in hand ...

 

T came home yesterday talking about Anger Management classes that he was going to be having once a week with other children like himself. I fished the letter out of his bag ... good ole pupil post, and scrapped the residue of his lunchbox off it ... apparently T is to join a 'life skills' group AKA anger management at school, it is going to start TODAY! T was upset about it, and although he knows he has problems with frustration he doesn't think he needs this, I haven't been informed either until yesterday, there is no mention of what strategies they are using, what children will be involved whether they are ASD or EBD or both, what level of success they have had, and basically no parental consultation with me!!!!

 

Am I right to feel uncomfortable about this, I have sent the letter back to the school with my comments on it and saying that until this has been fully discussed with me and T I am not happy for him to be included at this time.

 

HHxx

[UltraMum]

I think you are right to feel uncomfortable - the school know full well all the problems that you have had recently and to a] rely on pupil post and b] set something like this up without consulting you is not on - IMO

 

 

I typed a) and then a b with a similar bracket! - got instead!

Edited January 31, 2006 by MotherEve

[lil_me]

Whilst I can understand your shock, several pupils at my sons school have just started similar programmes and they really enjoy it and are getting a lot from it. I'm hoping my son will be offered this next year as it is only done from the year above him at our school at present. We have courses in the next room and can hear what goes on etc and it's all about them learning to manage their own emotions, and improving on empathy skills and is done in a very fun way.

Edited January 31, 2006 by lil_me

[oracle]

What is meant by 'pupils like him'? We have children with ASD in our Authority who are attending social skills groups and anger management groups with 'children like them' - who have turned out to be children with EBD. So quite clearly these groups are not for 'children like them'. I did a bit of research on the Webster Stratton Groups that run in some local authorities and Webbster Stratton themselves say that the approach has to be very different for a child with ASD. They are only just fine tuning this approach themselves from what I have so far read. This means that the groups most of our kids will attend are NOT intended for them.

 

I would want to know EVERYTHING about this group before my child attended.

 

Carole

[LKS]

Hello HH how are you. I think you are right to be concerned. Although it could be a good idea, it should really have been discussed with you first. As carole said the strategies needed for dealing with ASD children are quite different to EBD. I remember the senco at primary school running a social skills group for ds (god help him ) and it involved a lot of trying to maintain eye contact and sitting still. The school need to know that you are not against the idea as such but you would relly appreciate more info.

[DaisyProudfoot]

I think they should have enquired as to whether you wished him to take part before launching it on your son like that.

 

My son has anger management therapy with his psychologist and it is helping him a lot (he's 9)

 

Daisy

[nvapid]

Hi,

 

It is an actual legal requirement from the governement that ALL children at School Action onwards participate in some sort of "Social Skills" group. That's is what schools are now huridly trying to come into line with. This is a very good thing. It means more in school training for LSAs TAs and teachers. Approach your school in a positive way and introduce them toi the idea of using "social stories" in the group/class.

 

It is also a very good thing that it will be a mixed ability group! Just this morning had a conversation with an Aspergers Support worker who runs an AS skills group who can find it very hard to work soley with AS kids in a group. In her words, when setting a task like having one child talk directly to another about computers for 5 minutes to demonstrate how it can be considered impolite, no body sees the problem! Plus, this will have the knock on effect of breaking down barriers between the children towards different disorders. Thaking a class like this does help to ease the bullying problem that can occur between ADHDs and ASs.

 

What you need to do now is become more involved. Ask/insist (I had to insist) that they start a "book" for the class where the teacher/LSA writes a brief point list of what they have covered for each session. Use that book to suggest themes for other sessions, suggest or provide social stories of your own.

 

This can be the best oppertunity you can use for getting your child targeted help!

[helenl53]

I would be very concerned -

 

There is a very big difference between learning and applying appropriate social skills and Behaviour Management.

 

Social Stories and Social Scripts can be brilliant for kids with an ASD - but I doubt very much that this is what they will use in anger management class.

 

Be very very concerned.

[phasmid]

nvapid, sorry, but where has this 'legal requirement' for these sessions come from. It's news to me, both as a parent and as a professional. Can you point me at your source please. I find it hard to believe this to be honest as I can think of more than one instance where this would be pointless.

[LittleRae]

I think you're right to be upset at having them foisted upon you both with no notice. Something like this needs preparation so it doesnt backfire.

 

My DS is due to start this next week with 3 other (non-AS) kids. was due to happen last week but teacher involved postponed it 1) as she knew I'd want to know beforehand (had a chat about 'things she should know' first.. , and 2) so that she could take D alone 10 mins each day to get to know him a little.

 

(this lady also knows him but when she met him in the corridor last week & said 'here's my little friend' he turned to her & said 'no, you're not my friend'!! Thought she'd better renew his acquaintance...

 

I also didnt tell him it was anger management (that wd be enough to start him off!!). instead I told him it was to help him recognise when situations get too much for him and to help deal with them - went down far better.

 

Good luck

 

A

[Hectorshouse]

Thanks for all the replies, I think that I am still very over protective of T considering his previous experiences with schools and behaviour management programmes this is understandable. T didn't want to do this group work yesterday morning, but by the time he got to school had changed his mind and I had a phone call from the teacher involved with T checking that it would be alright. I asked her about the strategies etc ... was told that it was that used for children with EBD/EMD (not sure what EMD is?) and that they have had coniserable success with these classes, also that they did not usually have a meeting with parents to discuss this .. (I was not impressed by this!) but that if I felt so strongly about it I could come along to the next session. Also I was told to let the professionals do what they know best ... (I was fuming at this comment!!!) what about parental involvement, professionals or not, I know my son best, I have been the one who has had to put him back together after other so called professionals have got involved ...

 

So not happy about with the teacher for this, but on the up side T said he enjoyed it, but couldn't remember what they did either

 

Anyway, will be following it up this week and making sure I am at the next session, and I quiet word with the teacher and senco about the lack of parental consultation.

 

A more pressing problem at the moment to deal with though is T's hearing, he had cronic glue ear from 3mths to 8 years, 2 lots of grommets and adenectomy later he could hear although it was just within the normal ranges. His hearng has taken a downward turn again, he has been complaining that he couldn'thear much in his left ear, the school nurse did a hearing test and it showed that he had NO hearing on the left side, so off to the GP's we go to see if its back to ENT again! No wonder the world is confusing for T, espcially now he can only hear on oneside, partial hearing can be worse than none, because people assume that because you have heard some things you have heard it all, when actually you have little idea of whats going on or being said, and having ASD just makes things even more fun.

 

HHxx

[Zemanski]

any form of behaviour therapy for AS kids must be adapted to the needs of ASD pupils - this is essential in order to focus on the right sort of social skills support, therapy aimed at EBD kids is not suitable for ASD kids.

 

anger management is great if anger is the problem but usually it is anxiety that creates the behaviour in ASDs and it is more effective to tackle the roots of the behaviour than the behaviour itself - one of the reasons that therapies need to be adapted is that it is known that if ASD kids focus on the behaviour they become more anxious about it but if they learn to recognise their emotions and learn how others respond to their emotions so that they can formulate logical strategies they can build self-awareness that doesn't feed the anxiety so much.

 

anxiety management is usually more appropriate than anger management but whatever it is should be ASD specific

 

Zemanski

[asereht]

Am I right to feel uncomfortable about this, I have sent the letter back to the school with my comments on it and saying that until this has been fully discussed with me and T I am not happy for him to be included at this time.

 

HHxx

 

 

I think what you did was right,my son joined an anxiety group in the unit he attends ,turned out none of the children in the group had AS and it DID NOT suit him at all ,caused major meltdowns and the stratagies used certainly did not suit him. I had agreed for him to join as he did but then when he wanted to back out there was a huge deal made out of it, we had signed a contract saying he would take part ,they acted as if it was legally binding. So be careful.

 

Theresa

Edited February 1, 2006 by asereht

[nvapid]

is a requirement as written in the "Detailed Guidance Matrices for School Action and Scholl Action Plus and Criteira for Statutory Assessment" by XXX LEA.

AND I JUST FOUND AN ONLINE COPY!!!

http://www.shropshire.gov.uk/sen.nsf/viewA...tion%20Plus.pdf

 

Behaviour, Emotional and Social Development under Grouping for teaching:

Shropshire

SA: School-based individual or group counselling or pastoral support sessions may be of benefit.

SA+: In some cases the facility to attend in-school behaviour centres may be appropriate.

 

Cambridgeshire is much more specific actually stating:

School-based social skills groups/focused circle time activities or pastorial support sessios...

 

Search string that finally got results was Matrices for School Action

[Hectorshouse]

Nvapid I don't think it is a legal requirement it is a recommendation if it is considered appropriate, but we as parents and our children don't have to agree for our children to be involved if we beleive it to be inappropriate.

 

Toby has kind of remembered what he did now, apparently they played 'oranges and lemons' but he can't remember what social skill it was to help with. The other children in the group (6 in total + TA's) include a girl with a stutter, two boys who keep getting chucked out of lessons and an extremely hyperactive boy, the others he can't remember .... me thinks that this isn't a totally appropriate group for T, but I'm sure if I was too mention this I would be told off again and told to leave it to the professionals.

 

HHxx

[oracle]

Emotional Literacy and Social Skills is a BIG issue now for all school children and if the government think that they can piggy back our children into these classes with the support of the parents then that is just what they will do. 'Guidance' is just that and has no legal requirements attached to it at all.

 

Zemanski is correct most of our children have anxiety issues which can explode out as anger. You have to be clever enough to find the route cause. Treat the real issues and not the symptoms.

 

Most of these courses are based on Webster Stratton and even they themselves say that the course that they are now producing for children with ASD is a very finely tuned course. But that is not the course on offer here.

 

Just because other children are in a mixedin a Social Skills Group does it mean that they will get the point of what is being taught to them? There is a parent in our local group at the moment whose son is attending such a group which was going very well until one EBD child decided to stick his foot out and trip the AS lad up for a laugh. The lad was mortified and wanted to know why this had happened when they had just been talking about appropriate behaviour. A rule is a rule is a rule for our children. He is now point blank refusing to go back. He can not understand how why this could happen and is even more confused now.

 

Carole