The worst meltdown by a landslide!

[Tylers-mum]

T went to Monday Club and was collected as usual by his ex-LSA from school. She normally brings him home too but as my sister was there, she offered to bring him home to save his ex-LSA from doing it (my sister and I live 5mins walk away) I didn't know she was gloing to collect him so didn't tell T.

At 6.40pm my door is being knocked off his hinges and T is screaming "Mum, Mum, Mum" like he was scared to death. Openned the door and T is hysterical and he comes falling into the house. I look up and see my sister whom I wasn't expecting. She them starts telling me the following..

She was at the club dropping off her son for the session following T's and offered to bring T back to me b/c ex-LSA was rushed off her feet. T was having none of it and threw himself on the floor screaming that he wanted ex-LSA to take him home. Ex-LSA and my sister tried reasoning with him whilst he was throwing forty fits on the floor but he wasn't consolable. My sister tried to distract him by offering to buy sweets for the tck shop which worked but she said he had to behave and would get them when he's at home. Then he runs to ex-LSA and starts screaming that he wants her to take him home, she explained that she was busy and that she had other kids to look after, to which T replied 'Well get someone else to do that'. My sister by this time had lost her cool and and both she and Ex-LSA ushered him out the door kicking and screaming. Ex-LSA closes the door and goes back inside. T is hysterical and screaming verbal obsanities (sp?) and sister tried to get him in the car but he resisted. Another Mum whom my sister knows comes to help and they both manage to life him into the car, it took both of them to put on his seatbelt and T is screaming he wants to get out of the car and lashing out at them both. Then as she begins to drive off, T opens the door and this other Mum yells at my sister 'he's openned the door' so she had to close it and tolerate the kicking and screaming until he got here. She was sooo stressed by the time she got him home and said 'How I never killed him I'll never know'. Told me he was not having his sweets she bought him b/c of his behaviour which is fair enough.

She left and T is still screaming and throwing himself on the floor over what had happened and then it escalated into a 'I want my sweets' meltdown on top.

I put him straight to bed and after a 2hour battle with him, he finally fell asleep.

 

That's just the jist of what went on as didn't want this getting too long.

Explained to sister on the fone later that he behaved the way he did b/c he doesn't like changes and to him, it was his routine that ex-LSA brings him home. She wasn't having none of it and said 'he needs to learn'! Ohhh, the wonders of that phrase!!!

[oracle]

I am quite shocked that the LSA allowed your sister to bring T home Unless you have already OK'd this with her then she was out of order especially as T did not want to go with your sister. Even if she was having a hard time if she has undertaken a responsibility to look after T at this after school club and then bring him home that is what she should do.

 

As for your sister - well she sounds just like my stepdaughter Know how that one feels.

 

Carole

[lil_me]

<'> Sounds liek you've had one heck of a night, hope you are ok.

[Guest hallyscomet]

Hi,

 

<'> <'> <'> <'> I bet you feel like growling even more so when your sister makes comments like that. Suggestion: find something about Change and how it affects ASD children, photocopy it and pop it in her letterbox. she won't be able to ignore that.

 

Then politely say I understand how hard that was for you, but now you have to listen to the experts, this is what change does to them....... do you ever see a NT child behave in this manner, I don't think so.......etc..

 

Family can really get to you when they make comments like this.

 

All the best, take care,

 

Hailey

[Brook]

Hi Tylers-mum,

 

Surely T's ex LSA must have known that he had to be prepared beforehand for a change!

Did she just think he was throwing a paddy.

 

I think your sister thought she was doing you a favour, but obviously she found out that it's not that

straightforward. She was probably feeling quite deflated as well, maybe when it's all calmed down

you could sit and explain that it wasn't anything personal to her but T needs preparation if things

like this happen, as she found out herself!

 

Would she read anything that you could print off for her?

I hope you dont fall out because of this, as that would be a shame.

 

I hope T is okay, it's very hard on them isn't it, and you too. <'>

 

Brook

[Tylers-mum]

Thanks all for your replies. <'>

 

Brook, I won't fall out with my sister over this as we are pretty close but it's really annoying that she doesn't understand HFA more. She comes across to me that 'I am to blame for his behaviour' and 'I need to teach him how to behave'. I explained to her about changes and routine but I an't the most knowladgable person and tend to go 'blank' when i need to explain anything about ASD's.

I have looked up something for changes in Autism but can't find anything of use. All I can find is changes IN autism but not how it effects our kids.

 

Carole - My sister know's the ex-LSA and know's that she is my sister. I can totally understand your view though. It is wrong b/c she didn't ask my permission me first but I'm not really worried about it as we all know each other quite well.

[Brook]

Hi Tylers-mum,

 

I found this for you, scroll down to: Routines and Resistance to change.

It may be worth printing off for your sis.

 

http://www.autism.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?d=367&a=7103

 

HTH

 

Brook

[Malika]

Hi Tyler-mum <'>

 

Poor you as if the nurse story was not enough,really how do you teach people that changing the routine of our children should be done only when there is no other choice.

I hope Tyler will be find tomorrow and poor you who will probably feel completly exhausted. <'>

 

Try to relaxe when you get the chance take care.

 

Malika.

[Tylers-mum]

Thanks both. <'>

 

Brook, thanks for the link. Had a read and hopefully I'll print it out once I figure out why my printer an't printing! Changed the cartridge in it lastnight and it an't worked since.

[reuby2]

sending you some <'> <'> <'> , you are having a horrible time at the moment and i hope it all gets better soon. <'>

[stressedmumto2]

Thinking of you and hope things get better for you soon

 

<'>

[DaisyProudfoot]

Hi TM,

 

Lots of <'> <'> <'> <'> for you and Tyler.

[carrieq]

Hope things are a bit better.

Carrie