ASD Children playing with other ASD children???

[tmf]

Just a quick question. Do any of your ASD children interact/play with other ASD children?

 

If so, does it work well?

 

If it works well, do they 'play' better with them than with NT children??

 

The only reason i ask is because my ds doesn't really have any 'friends' as such, unless they are of the opposite sex. Over the last 2 mths he has got friendly with another boy of the same age. In fact he even got invited to his house (i could have cried as that just doesn't happen with ds). When i went to collect him i had a chat with the boys mother and asked how things had been etc. She said apart from boistrous they had been fine. I went on to explain ds has AS and she said she could tell having worked with these children in the past. She is this little boys foster mum and said she believes her little boy has AS too, although not diagnosed. Now these two appear to 'click' and just wondered if any1 else had any similar experiences??

[Zemanski]

Com definitely clicks with some other AS/autistic kids but with others he positively clashes.

 

One of his friends is really touchy-feely, slobbery and flappy which clashes terribly with Com's tactile defensiveness and fastidiousness and causes all sorts of problems.

Another of his friends is very shy and sensitive where Com is very up-front but sometimes it's years between meetings and yet they just slide back in to their old friendship.

 

As with making NT friends personalities and interests are very important.

 

Zemanski

[kinky j]

my son used to play very well with his friend who has undiagnosed adhd, they had the occasional fights but as i've said before, he was the first child c's age that he really interacted well with.

 

glad your son's found a friend, i really understand how you feel (it's like all warm n tingley )

 

kinky j <'> <'> <'>

[cmuir]

Hi

 

I have a 4 year old son who is currently being assessed for Aspergers. Cut a long story short, I've been emailing someone from this forum who lives in the same town as me for a few weeks (she's been fantastic!). I'd been firing lots of questions at her and updating her on appointments, etc. I met a specialist who didn't go into great detail but commented that she knew another mother who was also a Graphic Designer whose son has Aspergers and was very like my son in a lot of ways. Turned out the specialist was referring to the person I've been emailing! We finally met last weekend at an adventure centre specifically for children with mental and physical disabilities. I got there early and a while later a boy came running in and immediately played really well with my son. Turned out this little boy was the one the specialist was referring to! Call it fate or whatever, but both boys got on really well and seemed to be really tuned in to each other. The adventure centre was fantastic because for the first time, I felt my son didn't stand out like a sore thumb as he usually does in playparks. I felt my eyes well up several times that day. I'm certainly going to make a point of taking my son there and hopefully meet the other little boy because for the first time, I actually felt a bit relaxed and had no one huffing and puffing or tutting (my son also had a really good time!).

 

Caroline.

[Tylers-mum]

T doesn't know any other kids with an ASD although there is an older AS boy in his school whom seems to click with T. He says Hello and is friednly towards him but the wholw thing is kinda strange, like this other kid know's T is like him. KWIM??

They don't play with each other b/c T is in infants and this other child is in Juniors so different parts of the school and different playgrounds so dunno hwo they met to begin with but I know he's AS b/c I know the Mum to say Hi too and we chatted a while back.

Edited March 16, 2006 by Tylers-mum

[CarerQuie]

Rh's 'best' freind also has ASD.There is a group of them in Rh's class.Play seems to go well-if they play by Rh's rules!!!xx

[lindy-lou]

India doesnt really play with anyone unless its a chasing game,but she has a very special bond with my AS nephew,they seem to understand each other totally,its lovely to see.

[zaman]

Hi Cmuir

 

I've just seen that you are a graphic designer in touch with another graphic designer parent from the forum. I've just PM'd you as I'm a designer as well.

[mossgrove]

Our two eldest boys (6, ASD and 8, Aspergers) do not have friends as such, but do play with some other children at their Special school. Having two children on the spectrum brings it's own challenges, but the best bit about it is the fact that they genuinely are best friends as well as brothers, and are on the same wavelength a lot of the time, so the lack of friends outside the house isn't nearly as much of an issue as it could be.

 

Simon

[melly]

ABout a year ago I was put in touch with a local mother whose son is also autistic (although it now turns out his greater problem is a speech and lang disorder). My son is now 3 and hers 4. They used to just ignore each other happily whilst my daughter would happily boss the other lad around, and happy that he would generally do as told.

 

However, this week we went to their house and suddenly things are changing. Its amazing how sometimes the idea of being 'tuned into' each other also means they know exactly how to wind each other up!!!

 

My little chap isn't q ready to make freinds and play WITH someone yet, but its still nice to be in the company of people who dont give u funny looks and dont ask for explanations of the little chaps behavoiur!

 

I hope the freindship blossoms, its important to have 'safe' friends

[tmf]

thanks to you all for you own experiences. Just by the few of you that have replied i get the impression they make better friends with those with an ASD.

 

The other reason i ask is becasue there is another undx AS boy in his class and the teacher doesn't like it because they are both 'demanding'. Maybe i should try and get friendly with his mother and invite this boy round.

 

I know i shouldn't push him to have friends, i just don't want him to be lonely. In fact i know it effects me more than it does him. If he has 1 friend he is as happy as larry.

 

He is in yr 1 at mo and apparently there is a yr2 boy pushing and shoving him around. When i asked why this boy was doing it he replied 'because i am strange'. How can 7yr olds pick up on this at such a young age. Why the hell don't parents explain the differences in people and to treat them as equals...not lepers!

 

Sorry for the rant, it just makes me so b****Y mad that people look on and make their own judgement to the child. Why can't people see out of the box???

 

I s'pose that's society today, just wish people would bring up children to have values and to respect one another, but that is just so far and few between these days.

[Jill]

In answer to your first post, I thought The Boy was destined to be friends with older girls with blonde hair only (by older I mean 8 ish ) as that was the type he was drawn to & they seemed to like him because he is pretty compliant (his dad said "that's my boy" )

 

But then he started at special nursery and almost immediately he and another little boy of the same age just "took" to each other. The teachers at nursery said it was an instant attraction. They now insist on sitting together during learning time and play outside together. One of the teachers commented that they share really well together - they both like a particular truck with a handle on and take turns to sit in it whilst the other pulls them round!

 

In response to your second post - it's definitely the parent's fault. I had a nephew that was really not very nice with my son. My nephew is 6 and I felt that he was old enough to understand that The Boy was different & make some allowances for this (he has a cousin of 5 who was perfectly fine with him.) I had a word with my sis & the top and bottom of it was because she hadn't fully accepted the dx on The Boy (I had the lecture about "what's wrong with him is basically down to your parenting"). When she finally did accept the dx, she had a word with her son & he is sooooo different with The Boy now & even defends him from others. BTW sis and I have mended a lot of fences along the way too.

 

Sending <'>

[joshanddanfans]

My two as boys have become best mates with my mates two boys my 4 year old and hers in same class and best mates, my eldestis 6 and hers is 12 12 year old is awaiting diagnosis.they are all so alike and often communicate in their own ways like the other day j and a played footy in street only speaking in french to each other. the two younger boys are like whirlwinds together and get on so well they seem to understand ech others difficulties. myn also go to an autistic playgroup with other autistic kids, some non speaking and they all get along great. they dont seem to have half problems playing with these similar kids than they do nt kids.

[jb1964]

My daughter doesn't know any other AS kids to I can't comment on that one.

 

Although all through primary school she did bother occasionally with a few boys - I think mainly from their interests being the same, ie. ps2, computer games etc - that the other girls weren't interested in.

 

We did ask a few over to play now and then and even though I never thought (or were aware) that they had any kind of problem - they were all definitely 'different' if you know what I mean. Quiet, sensitive kind, who could talk for England about their favourite game.

 

Even now she has a few girls that she calls 'friends' in school - but they are all 'different' again. They are not the kind of girls into make-up/music/boys and trendy clothes kind.

 

Jb

[polkadotty]

My 8yr old AS son has some very good friends with ASD's. In his words, he says "I like autistic people because i know they know how i think". he has one friend that he just clicks with, and although he can be a terrible wind up merchant (my boy, that is) - enjoys the spectacular meltdowns he can cause by annoying his buddies, he can share, he can play games, he can do cooperative play (eg digging holes inthe garden) unsupervised for hours. And i would say that he gets on better with other children that have a similarly quirky style, whether diagnosed or not: C's best friend is 10, and I would say is clearly somewhere on the spectrum, but is undiagnosed and much more empathic than C. But they get on so well.

 

C can be quite charismatic, despite his quirkiness and attracts younger children to him - I think he has an air of danger about him - or adrenalin, maybe (a bit ADHD too). But he is wary of NT friends and relaxed with ASD ones; I put that down to terrible experiences at 3 mainstream schools really.