Suze Report post Posted April 30, 2006 Hevs not posted since she started her thread in Help and Advice on 28th.I hope she,s alright she sounded so down .................come back Hev..........let us know your o.k. <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted April 30, 2006 suze, yes I'd noticed that too. Hope she's ok. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted April 30, 2006 I'd been wondering if she was ok too . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted April 30, 2006 (edited) <'> Thniking of you Hev, How are you going. <'> H. Edited April 30, 2006 by hallyscomet Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lil_me Report post Posted April 30, 2006 I haven't been online much but noticed the lack of posting from hev, hope you are ok <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted April 30, 2006 Has anyone PM'ed her? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pingu Report post Posted April 30, 2006 Ive noticed that she hasnt posted. I do hope she is ok. Hev if you reading this, please let us know you are ok. You can get through anything with support hun. dont feel like you are alone. Sending lots of <'> shaz Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pingu Report post Posted April 30, 2006 I have just PM' d her, But her status is offline. She was last active at 12.18pm on april 28th (according to her profile thing) That would be when she was posting in the off topic. Hopefully, she will be back in a couple of days, she may just need some time to think. <'> for you hev <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted April 30, 2006 She should get notification via email of a PM. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted April 30, 2006 thats what got me worried......she hadnt been on the forum since she posted about how bad she felt.Hope she gets your pm viper and knows we,re thinking of her. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy-lou Report post Posted April 30, 2006 I pm'd her my phone number,it is very concerning that she has not been online Hope your ok hev <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted April 30, 2006 It's times like this that I wish the forum hosts or mods could have a record of phone numbers that they can use in an emergency. It could be a voluntary thing and if you don't want to give your number you don't. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted April 30, 2006 Very Good idea Viper I wonder if any of the mods would be willing to hold this information? If not - I would - as you say those of us who wished to do so could share and swap numbers for times like this. It could maybe be posted as one of the pinned topics as information only. I know that some of us having the number of one guy on another group turned out to be a very good thing for him. Oracle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted April 30, 2006 Good idea Viper - <'> Hev hunni - i've Pm'd you. <'> Just read your post in H & A, i know where your coming from. Text if your up to it <'> Just to let us know your ok. Hoping your just out and about havin' fun <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted April 30, 2006 Hi folks, you are a caring bunch. A request was made some time ago to keep contact details of members in the event of an 'emergency'. After some consideration, the hosts and mods at the time decided it wasn't a good idea, it was felt that this wasn't our role. The present mods agree with this decision. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted April 30, 2006 I PM'd Hev yesterday too, I am sure she justs needs some time out for herself. I believe we all should be entitled to a free one hour massage at least once a fortnight, that is the best medicine <'> Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Flora Report post Posted April 30, 2006 (edited) I think the voluntary phone number is a good idea. There would be no pressure, and if all it took was a 30 second call asking 'are you ok?' 'Yes, just busy' or 'no, feel cr*p' to put peoples' minds at rest then it would be a good thing wouldn't it? If you felt that was too intrusive then you wouldn't give your number. Lauren Edited April 30, 2006 by Lauren Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted May 1, 2006 (edited) I was missing for the weekend and just posted to hevs topic,then I saw this one hope she is ok,probably just taking time out didn't she say steve was going to her parents this weekend? I have also pm'd her just to let her know we are thinking of her. Edited May 1, 2006 by asereht Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted May 1, 2006 I am really worried about Hev now. Does anyone have any contact details at all, is there anyone she may have given her phone number to on the forum? what are her circumstances, does she have a husband or is she all alone? I suppose I can answer that myself, off to do some research. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted May 1, 2006 Hi all, Just to add to what Nellie said we think any sharing of phone numbers is best done on an informal basis via pm - people can and do form relationships on the forum, especially with others who live nearby, and it's great that people look out for each other. It would be virtually impossible to keep track of nearly 2000 members via a more formal system- in my nearly three years here I've seen lots of people come and go and I've wondered and worried about some of them. People choose not to post for a number of reasons, perhaps because they just want a bit of space, they have got what they needed from the forum, or real life has taken over for a while. Or they may simply be having technical problems as I did last week! In such circumstances a phone call from someone they don't know very well might be intrusive - many people are attracted to forums like this precisely because of the privacy they allow. As a moderator I'd feel uncomfortable about monitoring someone's life in this way and I know the others feel the same. If a relationship has already been established with someone it's a different matter: it's easier as a friend to phone for a chat and ask how someone is. I hope Hev's just having some well deserved time off and will be back soon. Kathryn. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy-lou Report post Posted May 1, 2006 It is very concerning though,i know hev does'nt have to keep us informed of her whereabouts..but to read a post like that,where someone is crying out for help and is obviously in distress,and then to hear nothing,well in the present climate it is awfully worying. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted May 1, 2006 While I have to agree in principle with the mods here, holding info for 2000 members is just not feasible and there are times when we don't want people intruding into our lives, I also agree with Lauren. A two second are you OK and should we but out call is all that would be necessary. Had a group of us not held each others info on another group where one of our friends was having a really hard time he may not be here today - literally. Having decided he had had enough he made his way 100's of miles to the same spot as Helen Rogan, and had left information on his blog that it was his intention to do likewise. Because of the network of numbers that we hold for each other I was contacted and in turn contacted the Police who found him standing on the bridge. Of course we were lucky to be in time but we were and since then this guy has realised just how many people do care about him. It's a hard call I know that but should anyone want to do likewise we could all pm each other - I would suggest that we do this on a rolling scale with maybe one person being the gate keeper while others also hold the numbers. Then if one person is not around another could pick up the batton. pm me if you wish Oracle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest flutter Report post Posted May 1, 2006 double edge sword, i think privacy and care how do u qualify when u phone someone, when they have been missing for a bit? how do we know they not decided not to come for a bit, or have nothing to post? I am concerned about hev, but cos i dont really know i have to accept that she is not here, for all we know she posted that and then her puter broke, and is fine? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted May 1, 2006 Like Kathryn said, what if she was having some technical problems with her computer, as Hev always comes back to chat, she knows that we are here for her.... maybe she is also having a break H. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oracle Report post Posted May 1, 2006 (edited) I think it was the nature of Hev's last post that has made many of us worry. 'I'm going under' can't do this any more. I hope her PC has gone and bust and more than that I hope Steve did go to his Gran's and that Hev is having a brilliant time. Again I can see both points of view I really can. But for those of us who wish to swap numbers, and let's be honest I already have numbers for quite a few folk here who I now consider to be friends, then when we make that swap it will be on the understanding that should we disappear for a few days and others are concerned then we will make that 'are you ok?' call. It's no different to chatting on msm or whatever it's called. We team up anyway so it's just another form of team spirit. I can not help but care for the people who post on this forum because many of you now 'feel' like my family. And like inclusion it's what you feel and how you feel that is really important and not just being there. Oracle Edited May 1, 2006 by oracle Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted May 1, 2006 Oracle <'> <'> I agree Lets all say a prayer for Hev pray for her strength, that she knows we are thinking of her at this moment. <'> <'> <'> H. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Viper Report post Posted May 1, 2006 I think we worry too much about "upsetting people" How many times have we read about a child being abused and said why didn't someone do something? I read in the paper about a 40 year old woman who was found dead in her home after 3 years. Even her family said they had lost contact. I am not saying there is anything wrong with Hev but if we could just check. I don't care if she shouts abuse at me down the phone as long as she is saying something. People don't do enough to look out for each other these days I think we all know what life can be like and a freindly "how are you" can help no end. If we gave our contact number then we would not be upset if we were contacted at times like these and if we just wanted some peace then we would make sure we posted as much on here.If it was just case of computer problems then at least we would know. I think it is especially important for single parents without any suport. a lone mother or father may fall and their child may be left alone and not know how to cope or how to get help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Suze Report post Posted May 1, 2006 I remember when I first joined here Hevs mum used to post alot under the name steves gran.I remember her posts and she had a real genuine concern for her family.Hev has a partner and toddler daughter I think who is about 2 yrs.Maybe she,s just exhausted with things in general and having a weekend away from all things Asd.I really hope this is why she has,nt been on since her last post. ..........I really mean that Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
asereht Report post Posted May 1, 2006 I used to post on another site hev still posts on and checked when she'd last been on it was april 28th also .I really hope she is ok .she hasn't pm'd me back yet either. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bid Report post Posted May 1, 2006 As a Moderator, I think this forum and our members are very special. But I would just like to agree with everything that Nellie and Kathryn posted above. Bid Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy-lou Report post Posted May 1, 2006 (edited) It is very sad ,it is not nice to feel such concern for someone's welfare,especially when you sort of know exactly how that person was feeling last time you heard from them,i too am praying that hev's noticable abscence is due to much needed time off or technical reasons,i will be including her tonight in my prayers. Edited May 1, 2006 by lindy-lou Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 1, 2006 Not sure if the moderators having everyones phone number would be a good idea, and would be such a huge responsibility for them i should imagine. Would be worthwhile though exchanging contact details with a members of the forum who you felt you had bonded with. Hope Hev is just having a break, as was previously suggested. Its such a worry when a member leaves such a despairing post, and then disappears and cannot be contacted. I know when things have got on top of me, I've left emails, calls etc unanswered because I just felt unable to deal with it. But then I tended to pretend to everyone around me that all was OK and I think Hev is so brave being so honest about her feelings. I've discussed things on this forum that I've never even discussed with family & friends. I'm sure Hev will be back when she feels ready & I hope she knows our thoughts and love are with her and she's not alone. Take care, Debs Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest hallyscomet Report post Posted May 2, 2006 Hi All, In case you are still wondering, there is a lovely post in Help and Advice from Steviegirl a friend is looking after Hev. She is fine, she has a lovely support network around her <'> <'> <'> You can view the message in Help and Advice section Regards Hailey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted May 9, 2006 oh god you lot are so lovely,ive just seen this post,im all teary now my pc getting fixed tomorrow,im at mums at mo,its hell not having one thankyou you lot,im not soppy but i think you all brill Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nellie Report post Posted May 9, 2006 Hev <'> Hope you get your computer back tomorrow. Nellie xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted May 9, 2006 Hev, Good to hear all is ok and hope your pc is sorted tomorrow for you Debs x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lindy-lou Report post Posted May 9, 2006 Nice to see you back hev <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
