URGENT ADVICE PLEASE!!!!

[joshanddanfans]

just wondered if anyone had any advice. i have 3 children, 6,5 and 2 all experiencing difficulties. eldest, 6 year old son is diagnosed asd,adhd,sensory integration dysfunction and dyspraxia. he is in mainstream catholic school with one to one support in mornings and is doing ok. my second child he is 5 and is 2 weeks away from a diagnosis, also showing sign of autism,adhd and emotional difficulties. he has more complicated difficulties than my other son. he is in reception class of same school. until recently school have coped well with him however for some reason he has recently become incontinent of urine and other and is having lots of accidents in school. not pleasant for the teacher i know but i have offered to go in and change him myself but now after sending him home 2 - 3 times a week they have decided he has to go home every accident. which is 4 +times a day, and was banned from the school trip because of this to which he was distraught, as he is being punished for something he cant control. i dont drive and have a baby so its hard for me to get to school in a hurry. they have said they would agree to a statatement so to me they are saying they dont want him in until he gets a diagnosis and they dont want him there. i am not taking him to school everyday to be brought home an hour later. dont know what you think, can they do this, it does semm unfair, diagnosis or not he clearly has special needs. going to keep him off indefinatly. what do you suggest, a statement or hang on!!!any advice much appretiated, alex

[PinkSapphireAngel]

I would say yes go for a statement as the school are admitting they are unable to meet his needs and he is being dicriminated against (school trip, being sent home etc) so he is not being given the chance to access the national curriculm which is his right.

 

I would also meet with the head/SENCO and get THEM to apply for the statutory assessment ASAP

 

Best of luck

[justamom]

How unfair of them, they are discriminating against him and like you say they are punishing him for something that he is not able to control. Not allowed to go on a school trip because he wets, is unfair but i work in a special school and thats part of our job to toilet kids but in a main stream school its alot different and i know alot of people in main stream schools would not see this as part of their job discription.

 

Have you considered that his wetting maybe because of something that might have happened at school, is he frightened of anything that could cause him to wet himself suddenly- is he being shouted at and therefore its making the situation worse and therefore you are fighting a lossing battle regarding helping him control his wetting??? These are questions you need to ask the school and if the answers to these are no then have you ever considered pad's (nappies/pull ups?) for your son????

[joshanddanfans]

How unfair of them, they are discriminating against him and like you say they are punishing him for something that he is not able to control. Not allowed to go on a school trip because he wets, is unfair but i work in a special school and thats part of our job to toilet kids but in a main stream school its alot different and i know alot of people in main stream schools would not see this as part of their job discription.

 

Have you considered that his wetting maybe because of something that might have happened at school, is he frightened of anything that could cause him to wet himself suddenly- is he being shouted at and therefore its making the situation worse and therefore you are fighting a lossing battle regarding helping him control his wetting??? These are questions you need to ask the school and if the answers to these are no then have you ever considered pad's (nappies/pull ups?) for your son????

we have suggested this they wont allow it also we suggested he go accross hall to nursery toilets were he used to go and felt more comfortable, no was the answer again. he told us the noise of the pipes in his toilets make him scared.

[jen]

my ASD son and my friend ASD son can not use the toilets when everyone else is using them. Both these children are taken into the toilets when there is silence hence avoiding all the problem with soiling etc.

 

 

Jen

[phasmid]

I would say that the school are not taking steps to make 'reasonable adjustments' in light of your son's expected dx. This goes against the Disability Discrimination Act, however you may not be able to use it until you have that DX. Have a look on the Disability rights commission website and see what the schools code of practice has to say about it.

[smallworld]

" he told us the noise of the pipes in his toilets make him scared "

 

We had exactly the same problem when our son moved from Nursery to Reception. The boys toilets in the main school have flushing urinals and lots of noisy pipework, he wouldn't even go near the door, let alone go in there.

 

School got round this problem by letting him use the toilet in the first aid room, and his LSAs gradually (over months, not weeks )got him to go in the toilets.

 

Now he likes to go in there !!

 

Ours is an example of what can be done by school to get round a problem, this wasn't something we had anticipated either when planning the transition.

 

Good luck with this,

 

wac

Edited June 21, 2006 by waccoe

[madme]

It is better for you to apply for statement because you can then appeal to SENDIST - believe youn cant if school make request. School however should back up request. IPSEA and ACE and NAs - get their advice. Is Gp supportive? - take child and tell what is happening - can he push through dx? gp should also be able to do a report abpit it to back request for assessment. My son also had problems with loos - so he didnt drink enough in school and ( iMO) that was what led to his bladder problems in part. Good luck

[nvapid]

every time they send your son home is an illegal act. this is called "informal exclusion". No school may call you to come get your child unless your child has an infectious disease or is feared to imminantle harm another pupil or teacher - and then not all the time. Every time they call - refuse to come get him. They will soon let him use the old toilets.

 

taken from teacher.net

 

Removing pupils from a school site

 

8. Many pupils receive some of their education at locations other than the site of the school at which they are registered. For example, they participate in school journeys, field trips, work experience and provision at further education colleges. These are routine arrangements for groups of pupils. However, there are three exceptional circumstances in which individual pupils may be removed from school sites, namely where:

 

a) There is sufficient evidence that a pupil has committed a disciplinary offence. In these circumstances the pupil may be excluded from school for a fixed period or permanently. This guidance specifies procedures for exclusion.

 

A pupil is accused of a serious criminal offence but the offence took place outside the school's jurisdiction. In these circumstances the head teacher may decide that it is in the interests of the individual concerned and of the school community as a whole for that pupil to be educated off site for a fixed period, subject to review at regular intervals. This is not an exclusion. Paragraph 23 of this guidance deal with these circumstances.

 

c) A pupil's presence on the school site represents a serious risk to the health or safety of other pupils or school staff. In these circumstances a head teacher may send the pupil home that day after consultation with the parents. This is not an exclusion and may only be done for medical reasons. Paragraph 24 of this guidance deal with these circumstances.

 

These are the only circumstances in which pupils may be legally removed from the school site.

 

 

Removal of pupils on health and safety grounds

 

24. Head teachers may send a pupil home, after consultation with that pupil's parents and a health professional (for example, a school nurse) as appropriate, where because of a diagnosed illness such as a notifiable disease he or she poses an immediate and serious risk to the health and safety of other pupils and staff. This is not an exclusion and should be for the shortest possible time. If difficulties persist, the head teacher should seek medical advice.

(revised 8 October 2004)

[joshanddanfans]

thanks for your advice, only problem is the pead and phych in mon morning for observation for diagnosis, cant really miss that i have kept him off all week the school are not even bothered. so he will have to go in tommorrow to get him adjusted again like we have to every time, dan cant cope with even slightest change in routine. even worse he says he hates the teacher because she laughs at him when he has a toileting accident.(hardly fair)hubby says well have to take him in am and pick him up at 12 as he has his accidents in afternoon mainly. i dont think we should as school would get wot they want. parent partnership and asd link nurse said they cant send him home we his parents have to go in and change him whatever happens he stays in school. however we did suggest this months ago and twats wouldnt have it. THINK STATEMENTING PROCESS NEEDS TO BEGIN, we are viewing special school next week. the only thing is they are meeting as best they can my other boys needs and it will break my heart to seperate my boys.

[Karen A]

Just wanted to let you know you are not alone with toileting problems.Our son is 8 and has aspergers traits.He will do a wee in the school toilet but has never opened his bowels there.He goes before he goes to school after much nagging.He does not like strange toilets.We have been fortunate that soiling has happened in other places but not at school.Karen

[bramblebrae]

he hates the teacher because she laughs at him when he has a toileting accident.

 

Omg I hate her too. If it was a child laughing I wouldn't punish them but I'd expect school to explain these things happen and laughing is not nice etc etc to teach them but from a teacher omg what are the kids in her class going to learn from that!! How dare she laugh at him I'd be livid at that alone let the rest of this absolute illegal rubbish this school have put your family through.

 

I'm livid on your families behalf. . Also I don't think he does need a diagnosis to have his additional needs met (or is that different cause I'm in Scotland?)

Anyway I hope your son gets the proper support he requires very soon.

Take Care, Good luck

Lorraine

[Karen A]

Omg I hate her too. If it was a child laughing I wouldn't punish them but I'd expect school to explain these things happen and laughing is not nice etc etc to teach them but from a teacher omg what are the kids in her class going to learn from that!! How dare she laugh at him I'd be livid at that alone let the rest of this absolute illegal rubbish this school have put your family through.

 

I'm livid on your families behalf. . Also I don't think he does need a diagnosis to have his additional needs met (or is that different cause I'm in Scotland?)

Anyway I hope your son gets the proper support he requires very soon.

Take Care, Good luck

Lorraine

It's the same in England-SEN provision is supposed to be based on identified needs not Dx-that is the theory anyway.Karen

[jlp]

My son also had toileting problems when he moved from reception to Y1 (didn't like the noise in the Y1 toilets and was afraid to be alone)

 

His first school refused to let him use the reception toilets and what with other things he ended up moving to a different school.

 

The second school are fine - he can go to the toilet with someone else and it's not an issue at all. We've had no more problems (mind you the 1st school toilets were a bit creepy even for an adult!)

 

It doesn't seem as though the current school are sympathetic to your son at all - how horrid for the teacher to laugh at him!