A dreadful mother tale

[Tez]

I am the world's most dreadful mother Took A to the doctors this morning because he'd lost his hearing in his right ear. Fully expected to be told that it was a wax build up and that he needed it syringing, which it was, but...... as you would expect the Doctor wanted to look in A's other ear. Always been his less dominant ear, never really thought anything about it. Doctor asks A has he got any pain in this ear. No, was the reply. Are you sure? Yes. Well, it seems to me that I can see lots of puss in the ear. You should normally be feeling pain and because you haven't I don't know how long you've had this infection and what damage it's done.

 

Dr did some tests with a tuning fork and then this Doctor, who we've never seen been, tells me that he's read A's notes and that he realises that he has SID and that there was no way of knowing that he had a problem, unlike with a typical child or adult who under similar circumstances would be in agony, but the end result is that this infection might have caused irreversible damage to A's hearing if it has been of long standing, which it appears to have been. Dr seems to think that this might be a recurrent infection that he's had for years, on and off. Loss of hearing is something that has never been a problem, A can hear the slightest sound. A is going to be reviewed again in a week, and hopefully we will know more then, but with hind sight there were signs, A had been complaining for some time of feeling excessively hot and sweating, but his body temperature thermostat has never worked that well, he never used to sleep at all, and though he's still not sleeping at night, he's been excessively tired and been sleeping during the day. The Doctor was lovely. He was so kind and gentle with A and really didn't make me feel too bad.

 

I don't really blame myself. There's no way that I could reasonably have known, but with hindsight, given his SID I should have had his excessive tiredness and sweating checked out, but even then would they have thought of an ear infection?

[curra]

Tez,

 

I'm so sorry that A is having an ear infection. It's amazing that he didn't complain of pain. But don't beat yourself up for it because you couldn't have known. You ARE certainly NOT a dreadful mother!

 

When M was 4 I took him for the first time to have his eyes checked. I thought it would be a mere routine but. .. they found that had a retinal detachment when he was a baby and nobody had noticed it.!! If it had been noticed on time, we could have saved part of his sight in that eye. Now he's totally blind in one eye and has monocular vision. I blamed myself for a long time. But that doesn't help very much does it?

 

I hope that A's infection is cured soon with the right medication and that he doesn't have damage to his ear. M also tends not to feel much pain when he's ill and feels all kinds of aches when nothing is wrong with him!

 

Curra

[justamom]

Oh Tez, you are not a dreadful mother.... No way, it just could not be helped..... Hindsight is a wonderful thing i know but unfortunately we just cant "go back ".

 

I know you feel really bad and i have been there too, took keegan to the dr's last week for his sleep and whilst there he checked his knees (arthritis) which were very swollen and he had not complained once, said they dont hurt to which the dr replied are you sure they are red and hot????

 

Chin up love you are a wonder mum!!!! <'>

[Bagpuss]

Tez,

 

Have to agree with all the others, you are by no means a bad mum. The amount of times we've took our kids to docs after leaving things a while to see if they settle, and find out its something that should of been looked at/treated quickly. Then theres all the times I've rushed them down to emergency docs to find there is very little wrong with them and you feel like a fool. Not to mention all the times I've sent my kids to school when they've said they've got tummy ache/ear ache etc, thinking they are pulling a fast one and the school has rung up because they've started vomiting or in one incident had pus oozing out my ds's ear

[KATHY BLAIR]

Try not to worry too much - the number of times Rachael has been ill and I did ot know!

 

Last year she scarlet fever - she vomited in school and was sent home, it was only when the infection in her throat smelt so bad that I realised she also had a sore throat and she still wasn't complaining of pain!!

 

Anyway sometimes when infections become chronic, like your sons ear, children no longer experience pain - and they don't have sid.

 

I have become very quick now at picking up the signs that something is wrong. Our practicenurse is very good and knows Rachael well and will always see her just in case. This year she has had 3 chest infections diagnosed like this. It may not be that he is not feeling the pain - but sometimes they don't know what is normal and what is not and therefore don't report it.

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'>

 

Youre not a terrible mum.

 

Take comfort in the fact that i kept telling my son to shut up moaning about his toe hurting i thought he was swinging the lead when i looked it was infedcted and all swollen i fealt realy bad.Were human and were not drs.

 

You doing a brilliant job.

[PinkSapphireAngel]

My Luke does not seem to feel or understand the symtoms untill its too late or has got really bad.

When he was little (he's 11 now) he would not realise he had an ear infection untill the puss was pouring out of his ear (sorry tmi)

 

I hope A is better soon and that the infections have not caused permanent damage, please don't feel bad we cannot possibly be expected to read our childrens minds and bodies all the time.

[Flora]

Tez <'>

 

You're as far away from being a terrible mum as it's possible to be. You are a fantastic mum.

 

Lauren x

[LKS]

Tez. You are a brill mother. Nobody understands your son like you do. I have read some terrible tales on here where we haven't recognised children's illnesses or injuries because they haven't complained. My dd once broke her ankle and I didn't realise how bad it was for a day I hope the hearing problems will not be too bad for him <'> <'> <'>

[lancelot]

Tez and LKS, my youngest has twice broken a wrist -- and each time it was a whole day before we went to casualty, where she played happily in the waiting area, carrying heavy toys around with the broken arm, looking entirely non-urgent...

 

I am Bad Mother twice over!

[Tez]

When A broke his wrist it took me over a week to take him to A&E because he didn't complain. It was only when his hand balloned that I realised that it needed medical attention.

Edited July 5, 2006 by Tez

[littlenemo]

Just to be agreeable, yes you are the world's most dreadful mother.

haven't you been listening to the goverment's '5-a-day' campaign? All parents should check all their children's orifices at least 5 times a day And if they're called Sid, then you should whack them round the head with a big stick every six months to test their pain threshold .

 

Don't worry, it happens to a lot of us. We took Dot to A&E once as she'd fallen down stairs and hurt her arm. As she didn't say it hurt, they sent us home and she went on a sleepover. Next day it was swolen, so we took her back and they Xrayed her this time and yes, it was broken, but the looks you get from the staff when you bring your kid in to A&E two days running were definitely the worst bit.

 

Hope the damage isn't permanent.