iwhere do i go?

[hev]

i phoned my disabilities team today at the social services,i was sobbing as steven had just kicked me in the arm and bruised it all,i was sobbing,begging for help,the man on the other end said im sorry your son does not fit our criteria,me and steven were both sobbing and thats the response you get,where do i go now,i hate them i really do,im very bitter,ive been asking for help for 10 years and nothing

[bid]

Oh Hev <'>

 

Did they tell you why you don't meet their criteria?

 

Bid <'>

[smiley]

Hev <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I agree with Bid - find out 'why' and then you can fight for it...... At least it's a starting block...

 

Thinking of you hunni <'> <'> <'>

[UltraMum]

<'> <'> <'> Hev <'> <'> <'>

 

Honey - I'm appalled!

 

Contact the director of Social Services? Local Councillor? GP? Paediatrician? Vicar? or all of them - get them to get onto the diabilities team on your behalf.

[Bullet]

<'> Hev <'> .

Are there at least any support groups in your area?

[justamom]

Oh hunni, i feel for you . <'>

 

but what is there critera????

[baddad]

hi hev <'>

Don't meet their criteria for what exactly?? Sounds like a pretty all-encompassing sort of response to me...

What sort of help are you looking for? If it's respite support it IS the CDT's/SS's area - locally through the short term fostering team (not sure if your area comes under the same as mine but I'll PM you...). if it's behavioural management you're back to CAMHS, and you'll need a referral from either S's Paed or GP, then you'll have a long wait and lots of chasing to do...

 

What's happening with YOUR stuff, BTW - the eye stuff?? Any news yet?

 

L&P

 

BD

[Flora]

hev <'>

 

Really hope you can get some help from somewhere <'> Wish there was something I could do for you. We're all here for you <'>

 

Flo' xxxxxxxx

[lorryw]

Hev,

Im absolutely b***** furious for you.

Our local SS has an over spend of ?11 million and has announced huge cuts in services and narrowed the criteria for receiving help to those assessed as having critical need. In the grand scheme of things ?11 million is a piddeling amount. Im not even sure if all the cuts imposed by councils are actually legal.

Can you get Steven up to your local ss office? My friend got fed up of being ignored and took her son along early in the morning just as staff were arriving and wouldnt leave until she was offered help. They were very unhappy about it but she got a result.

Good luck and dont give up.

Lorainexx

[Bagpuss]

Hev, I'm so sorry and hope you get some proper support soon. I would definately try and find out what the criteria is exactly.....take care <'>

Edited August 23, 2006 by Bagpuss

[lollypocket]

Blimey - thinking twice about conacting SS for any support in the future

 

I hope you can get some help <'>

 

KW

[JsMum]

Hi I signed off and then read your post and had to sign in again to reply, last week I asked SS for support in the home as I dont want J in respite and it was evenings that where particalary difficult, but it really is dire the services are only responding in crisis and those struggling to manage children with special needs dont warrent the criteria, it is neglect in my eyes that they can wash their hands and say well I am sorry we cant offer you support because your son is not on our criteria, if he where it would be removal from the home and that is not what I want, its practical support to help manage his behaviours on a daily basis.

 

I am now going throw the proceedures and having assessments with a private healthcare and employing my own support in the home where J can sleep and in eat in his own house with mum, me who is terribly warn out on the evenings throw meeting his needs throw out the day.

 

I would write to your mp and explain that by excluding children with special needs from criterias children and families are suffering stress and preassure of having to do it all 24 - 7 without support and services.

 

It is all across the country it is not just your LAs but it really is not fair on parents who are at the end of their coping strings, it really is not fair on the child either because parents will become warn out.

 

Services will pay the price in the end though, in the future when our children are adults and effected throw lack of support in their childhood.

 

JsMum

[bramblebrae]

<'> <'> <'> <'>

I'm really upset for you, why the heck are SS there if not to help you at points like this. I remember way back phoning SS cause I was really depressed and S was just a baby and I'd not been in this house for long with it's huge garden and I really couldn't cope with looking after him and the garden and well I was depressed so finding it pretty hard to cope at all and then I got a legal type letter about getting chucked out if I didn't look after said garden- that tipped me over so I phoned them anyway and cried down phone at wifie who at the very least told me I should come in to their drop in sessions and talk to an SS advisor face to face to see if they could help. Surely this guy on the end of the phone could have directed you to somewhere that could help if he truely couldn't(I'm not saying he's right - I would think he's wrong actually- what criteria for heavens sake? AS is a disability what more do they need?) - it makes me mad he just basically left another human being so upset like that without trying to help at all.

 

Sorry what I actually came on to say was, and you may have already been here and tried this but if I were in your situation as far as I understand what your situation is, IYSWIM, I would get appointment with GP and explain everything and refuse to leave basically til she referred me to the disabilities team with a request for an emergency appointment with them. We had to wait 2 years for an actual assessment from SS but they did send a 'backup' worker (not quite sure what that means?!) out to see me fairly quickly initially. Hopefully they can do something like that for you. Or if they really do have some errorneous criteria that says they can't help hopefully the GP can tell you who can.

 

I hope you and Steven have a better day today.

take care

Lorraine

[Suze]

<'> oh Hev , I,m so sorry, wish I could help you <'> hope today is better .Suzex

[Paula]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

[Frangipani]

Hi Hev,

 

Hope something gets sorted out for you real soon. Like some have said go to the top, dont take no for an answer.

 

Dont let this go. We want to see you back on here telling us that you did it.

 

Come on Hev go make waves you can do it, I am sure all here would agree. Take a deep breath and write down what you need to do,

 

Sending you lots of these <'> <'> we will be there with you in spirit <'>

 

xx

[dooday24]

hi hev i really feel for u <'> <'> my son can be violent towards me most days i know he dosnt mean to be but it is still hard have been at breaking point some days just been told our ss is too stretched to help and the health visitor says practice yr skills from the parenting course they put me on hope things get better and hope u get support u both need <'> <'> <'> <'>

[jannyk]

oh hev really feel for you i rang the fashu team last night begging for some help with james him and his dad nearly come to blows they rang me this moring and i said i cant wait for a trainee social worker i need one now. so they just put me through to our council and they put me through to the s.s said somebody will come next week but at the mo james has smashed up his wardrobes threatened both me and his dad and run off . getting txts off james sayin hes going to kill himself dad says he aint coming back in until he realises he cant keep swearing and threatning us i know hes right but its so hard .dont know what to do may have to call the police again .

[bramblebrae]

Hi Jannyx and Hev,

I hope things are going better for you both now. Thinking of you.

 

Take Care

Lorraine

[kirstie]

<'> Hev,

I'm so sorry. It's just cr*p that you are having to go through this. I am prone to thinking the same as someone else here when they said take him down and stay there till you get some sort of recognition in terms of needing support. He who has the biggest gob and all that..........

I really feel for you, i wish i could pop round and give you some time out. <'> <'>

[hev]

thanks everyone,i feel so much better from last week,i have decided to not deal with social services any more,had no help for years and no one phoned me back,i know i should keep on and on at them but i get so upset when im off the phone when i get a blunt response off of them,makes me feel worse than before i phoned them,am looking in to direct payments for some help

[Paula]

 

Well done Hev for thinking sod them.And im glad youre feeling a little better than last week.Least the school hols are almost bloomeing up.Im thinking of sueing for compensation...........saying 6 weeks have shoved me over the edge and made me ill............ Folks win dafter cases...........

 

Ive never ever managed to get help for my son from outside forces,no ###### wants to know ,they never phone back,they dont fully understand and its a waste of time,yer left thinking perhaps im just imageing it all...............

 

Take care hev

 

and well break out the champagne when theyve gone back to school in cyber space.