~Jonathan~

Hi Lucas. I'm sooooo in agreement with what you've said <'> When the new VW Beetle came out, one of the colours was this very insipid yellow and it's just horrible, I actually have to avert my eyes when one appears.

<'> <'> Thanks everyone <'> <'> You don't know what coming here and knowing I can be myself with you guys means to me. You never cease to amaze me. You warm my heart. This is a little island oasis amid a sea of chaos and I'm grateful for your support and solidarity. Thank you <'>

I had a meltdown earlier today and the neighbours were out in the garden, they're already not as friendly with me (they moved in at Xmas and I hoped it would be a clean slate) and this puts pressure on me, thus making another meltdown kind of inevitable. It's a vicious circle

Right, well hello everyone again. It seems I don't have Avoidant Personality Disorder at all, this has been thoroughly discounted though there are some overlapping traits, it would seem I am on the Autism Spectrum though where I don't know. My GP doesn't really believe I have anything wrong with me, just that I'm a little socially clumsy and perhaps a late bloomer whatever that means though is concerned that I'm not currently at the same level in many areas as my peers however the person who suggested I might be Avoidant Personality Disorder now believes that I was correct to begin with and that the likelihood is that I am ASD after all. I've tried contacting the local Autistic Society branch but have heard nothing back. It's been a very confusing time for me hence why I haven't been around all that much as of late.

<'> Lisa <'> I find that I can visualise in my mind what I want to say but when it comes to verbalising it, it all goes awry. My words come out in a full torrent, stumbling over each other and then I get all tongue-tied and stuutery and also I get louder because of frustration because things aren't being expressed as I would like them to. Then I can feel myself getting worried and I sweat and then I get angry and before I know it I've had a meltdown

I can't abide yellow and especially the lemon yellow or that yellowey-green colour. Makes me feel feral

Hi phasmid. It's good to see you again <'>

I have a morbid fear of not existing. When I'm there though I won't know anything as I didn't for billions of years but from a position of existing now, the thought of not existing is terrifying. I often wake up sweating but it's not something I can run from or something I can control. Total annihilation of my being is coming

<'> Happy Birthday Minerva <'> (the first book I ever read was A Dinosaur Called Minerva!)

I'm totally the same with regards anything. I go out and buy all the things I need to start a hobby then do absolutely nothing whatsoever about it!!!! I have literally loads of things lying about that have never been used; painting kits; various bits of sports equipment; books I've bought in the moment and have never read, I got them because I liked the font used or the cover designs!!!!; loads of charity wristbands that are still sealed up because again, I liked the colours of them; the list goes on.

Name: Jonathan Age: 32 Conditions: I am undiagnosed but I definitely have AS. I do have ADD, that's been diagnosed. Hobbies: internet, listening to music, watching music dvd's, my allotment, spending time with my cats, walking locally to me, exercising. Favourite Foods: roast lamb with all the trimmings, rhubarb crumble and ice cream, pizza. Favourite Colour: purple, blue, green, orange. Worst food: liver, swede, parsnips, cauliflower. TV Programmes: Question Time, This Week, Have I Got News For You? Anything with Dan Cruickshank and Adam Hart-Davis, history and factual programmes. Fave website: this one <'>

Sorry about the late posting, it was only by accident I discovered the programme was on at all so when I posted the topic I'd only known about it 10 minutes or so, the computer is slow so took a while to let me in. I'm sorry some missed it but glad others got to see it, if only parts of it. I too didn't like the tone in some ways that all he needed to do was dress a bit more trendy and do what other kids were doing and he'd be okay. Other than that though, it was really good and what he said about buying a book just so that it didn't feel lonely and that it had a home was very much like me, I see cuddly toys as real things and hate them to be sitting alone. I also talk to insects

No worries. I have added a synopsis of the programme in my initial entry <'>

Hiya, Sorry if this has already been posted but at 11.10am this morning on Channel 4 there's a programme about a 14 year old living with Asperger's Syndrome. If this post is pointless please pull it mods Changing Reuben. Reuben Walsh is not your typical 14 year old. He has an IQ of 154 (10 points less than Einstein), is obsessive about neurology, has feelings for inanimate objects and is terrified of crowds. He also finds it hard to fit in and is often bullied. All the best, Jonathan.

The thing I do which drives my Mum crazy is I follow her around when I'm talking, getting louder as I go.

Going back for a moment to the farting man in the cinema, I needed to go to the toilet the other day (I was at the library) so I popped into the one they have there. All the troughs were taken so realised I needed to go into the stall. As I tried it, it opened and a chap I'd been speaking to in the library 20 minutes or so beforehand came out. He smiled at me and I said hello and in I went. Well, the smell hit me immediately, it was disgusting and I thought I was going to vomit. I didn't have a choice but to stay in there and do what I had to because I was busting to go. I could almost taste the faeces in my mouth, it was overpowering. Anyway, I came out and washed my hands, dried them and went back into the main part of the library and there he was, serving happily behind the counter only now every time I see him all I can smell is the smell I smelled when I went in to the toilet after him. He's gone down in my estimation a little as now when he sees me (even though he smiles and I smile back) I can smell nothing but very strong toilet fumes!!!!

Justamom :bday: Have a good day <'> <'>

<'> Richt <'> It makes perfect sense, thank you

<'> hev <'>

<'> Viper <'>

oh dear, that's worse then isn't it?

I use Norton which isn't free but there are some great precautions out there, such as Spybot Search & Destroy and Ad-Aware which are both free. The best way to cure a Trojan virus is to minimise the amount of items that are booted up in the Startup Menu when you log on as that's usually where Trojans reside. Turning off System Restore before logging out is good too then come back online and run the precautions again. This more often than not clears things. You can then switch on System Restore and reboot.

I want to go just to see Tom Hank's wig

minor

I play guitar chords configurations and 'solo' on the back of my right hand with the fingers of my left hand when stressed out. I have an encyclopedia of guitar solos in my head and depending on what I feel at any given time depends on what solo gets played on my hand. No matter where I am I can open the solo up and hear it in my head and my hands follow what's been played. That's how I stim.