smiley1590

i was going to say the same about voluntary work find an area of career you'd are interested and like and research also i did volunteering for 4 hrs on fridays and now i work part time as bank staff so can lead to jobs as shows your qualities and skills and gets you used to work place environment and gets adjusted to colleagues etc would also maybe help your depressive mood via volunteering as keep mind active and busy also give you routine outside your kids it would give you self esteem/confidence make you feel you have purpose make you feel worth. good luck XKLX

when living daily with A.S it doesn't feel MILD one bit at all!!! feels tiring drainiing to try 'figure out' the 'norm world' i get so annoyed frustrated angry when people say MILD AUTISM maybe MILD to them NOT to me!

yep i did go to all the sessions booked .... I KNOW MY FAULT for deep spiral in lock inside me! just can't seem to find energy strength to 'push' myself enough as feel so weak drained tired .... i feel like i havn't moved from day one square one and i havn't given myself that opportunity or experience too suppose when too many emotions gets in the way blocks barriers everything in it's way!

i have decided to give myself ' a break' 'rest' from this .... don't know how long for just so emotional lately on everything ... everything seems blurred mixed into one confused lost locked trapped ... i don't know if trying 'push' grief /loss away run away defence mechanism that kicked in strongly as too scared to face up to 'reality' but then i face reaity everyday by going to area where my nan used to live as work near there but when walking to work do get tearful upset get anxious feel sick dizzy like world spinning around me or feel numb .... i reached this 'crossroads' last weds as just fell apart to pieces burst into tears i was a wreck a mess i feel like inside i 'smashed to pieces' like mirror broken and only time will tell if i 'snap' totally 'melt' hope not! trying to hold it 'in' and 'together' BE BRAVE STRONG!!! CARRY ON! with a smile like both my nans would have SO WANTED even asked me to DO! feel like get too much 'pressure' feel like mentally give up collapse .... i feel like 'blockage' all time STOPPING ME from working emotions /thoughts through i try be SO upbeat positive but feel like on slippery slope and feel so ALONE like no one can hear me! words feel so 'cold' and empty i feel i have 'nothing left to give' to being pyschoanaylsed anymore i'm so tired of it feel so 'dragged down' feel like i'm a WOSS for just giving up i feel bad guilty talking about 'everything' i feel myself 'tumbling' slowly can i really stop myself from falling into looming dark black hole i look so 'HAPPY' to others all time replaying situations and experiences i had with my nans if i could have done any BETTER! maybe i havn't gave sessions an opportunity i gave it OPEN mind POV it feel angry upset hurt is it AS confusing matters more making more tricky complex? or am i being awakard and stubborn? i want someone catch me when i fall as can 'sense' it and when i do fall normally long drop down from BIG height above ... i feel no real connection with pyschologist she just 'annoys' me ALOT! i just try block all hurt pain out when on my own catches up with me my pyschologist thinks i'm 'accepting' and 'moving on' alot better than i was that i'm 'improving' she doesn't have to live with every sec min day driving me stir crazy .... feel like letting everyone down by not facing it as know it going to cause MH 'crisis' to arise .... try explain to someone how this highly emotional situation makes you feel inside your head so draining to go through don't know if i'm STRONG enough to take it! it my issue no one else's just feel a burden if i text my best mate about getting paranoid i'm overwhelming her with my troubles im finding hard am i being a whimp moaning on? this case of self pity? i look in mirror don't know who i am !feels like fighting battling with hurt pain and ME more than EVER! SORRY TO GO ON .... feel like tornado spinning out of control in my head .... XKLX

i go yoga exercises on my wii fit plus helps me relax,chill relieve stress tension which i have alot built up inside me!!! XKLX

my deaf blind twin brother has applied for this Benefit which he now recieves but has to go regular medical even though the family doctor wrote a note to them saying his physical needs are life long and never going to 'improve' or change .... they need so much evidence and proof which can understand due to 'fakers' but these 'fakers' make so much of a battle challenge fight for 'real' need to tirelessly prove their case and needs are truly 'need' not agreed for benefit money! but if has struggle on his hands proving his needs are long term my parents couldn't get around their system of him having to go for several medical interviews when stated he is deaf blind and wears hearing aids and totally blind you only have to take one look or believe him! makes so mad angry i could get it more if it was for me as mine 'hidden' background difficulties has look closer deeper to be 'proven' i struggle battle everyday living with A.S dyspraxia MH probs but something so in your face and obvious they just don't get it simple as! grrr.... XKLX

snow cake ( DVD) , rainman DVD starring dustin hoffman ( savant syndrome) ,mysterious creatures DVD ( ITV drama) , a curious incident of the dog in the night time - mark haddon ( book) XKX

i have just managed borrow for library ever since got this book this afternoon havnt been able to put it down i am stuck like glue to this book i think personally my opinion jodi has explained AS daily life to T all struggles etc from all different POV's ( mother's, brothers and AS lad himself) shows how 'everyone' in the family is 'affected' with AS how struggle battle and fight is with everyone involved .... this book is interesting read! amazing! i know she did alot research into background of AS world speaking to 2 teens with it and also has cousin whos has autism she has got clear knowledge understanding and presents this fantastically expressive in how we become confused and lost easy in our 'own world' and need adult reassurance guidance along the way .... to 'comfort us' in times of need hard tough experiences we go through i think it shows it perfectly! i would recommend this book to others with AS and family members as it explains further deeper into how affects every bit of your life every min sec you wake up until go to sleep! i think it really points it out on different level! even though it s make belief story line not true! gripping plot have hanging on edge of my seat! XKLX

does anyone know i can get a race pack ? to get my race number and back board to write memory deciations on anyone know? XKX

i am hoping to crazy hats at local park ( wicksteed) nearby to were i live this is 5 times around the park entry fee is £5.00 via cheque this is sponsership to walk or run it is 5 miles long. it takes place on sunday 27th March 10.30am. i also want to do another cancer walk on sunday 19th june 10.00am i want to do the 10 k one if i can havn't decided if i want to do 5k which at 2pm. determined to do more as alot of my family has been affected touched by different types of cancer my grandad died 55 years old of liver cancer my great auntie had breast cancer has both breasts off and had fake ones can't remember the physical name sorry! close family friend died of cancer XKLX

has anyone read 'house rules' - Jodi Picoult about a young man with A.S accused of murder! anyone thoughts on what they thought of this book??? XKLX

yeah jo i'd say it physical touch sensory issue personally!!! XKLX

i have A.S and dyspraxia. i was officially diagnosed with Clumsy child Syndrome ( dyspraxia) i had years of O.T at junior's school and P.T too yeah can be common to have both conditions as very closely related just like dyslexia , ADHD etc tend to overlap and also be seperate i disagree that one of the diagnosis out rules another as i feel even though they really alike i feel that sometimes it isn't the A.S it some else there and other way round!!! that's just my opinion but i can see dyspraxia diagnosis by professionals being scrapped as so similiar! but i feel it is useful to have both there as some don't fit into the other! XKLXX

i'm 21 year old female from northamptonshire with diagnosed A.S and Dyspraxia i have Anxiety and depression probs since early teens. XKLX

heya these welfare reviews are scary anxious time for my family as a whole as my twin brother deaf blind my mum is both our appointee for DLA benefit and my mum gets carer's allowance for my brother. my dad only works part time and is on low income to run family home has pay gas electric rates etc and i'm on middle rate care and low rate mobility and my brother is on high rate care and low rate mobility my mum and dad have been to appeal on decision years ago of my brother being on low rate mobility as he needs help to guide him and support him when walking. but 2 on panels doctors would change ruling and agreed with parents one didn't so standed as is which made my parents angry. as my brother can't do out unaided as he can walk he not entitled to it! i would like to enquire about getting more financial help as i'm on low part time income wages and get paid monthly. i would like to apply for income support raised discussed the benefit idea situation with my mum she said to leave until we know where government going to leave us in benefit changes situation. my mum is worried that how me manage if benefits are looked into taken away how we'll cope as a family as is struggle any way to manage. see my brother 'differences' are physical but mine going to harder to prove due to paperwork of assessment and diagnosis is that going to enough as evidence as it 'hidden' looks like fight to prove both our cases more so on mine as in my head i scared when move out on my own due to these benefit reviews are me going to working part time and being on DLA benefit worried how i'll manage if any of these financial support to top up income etc worried scared for my family where this leaves us and feel bad guilty i can't work like 'normal' young adult and work full time my dad has to get up early hours of morning! XKLX

i had a cold blocked nose runny nose sore throat .... had banging headache ... had day off work yestoday mum rang up boss now ended up hoarse /losing my voice to point of whisper hardly anything there to speak i've looked it up on google think i have answer i could have laryngitis as some symptoms fit what i have mum said if voice ain't back to normal by next week to go to doctors as see what they suggest i do! i tried resting my voice eating blackcurrant cough sweets drinking fluids alot nothing seems to be touching it i have no energy and been feeling tired awful lot! could this be due feeling stressed run down ???my voice don't seem coming back and kids struggling understand me at work of what i'm saying they lost confused at me! lol i fed up annoyed frustrated by it now! had it for couple of days! XKLX

hey i'm 21 years old female i did start drink alcohol when got stressedto 'numb' the emotions feelings to block hurt anf pain out escape reality! sounds like you need speak to NAS and to citizen advice help him sort out his financial mess of debts! XKX

also going cook stirfry and fajitas too ... XKX

i was 14 years old when officially diagnosed as A.S!!!

the kind of food already enjoy eating i doing some of them all 3 listed above may do omlette too i want fresh so from stratch recipes ? XKX

thanks everyone!!! any other meals that easy simple to cook more ideas the better???

has your son been assessed for behavioural disorder such as A.D.H.D /O.D.D./C.D? as this can be present along side A.S. so could be worth looking into if havn't already? has meds been looked into for his anger /physical aggression ??? risperdal?

i have new support worker due to my 'normal' support worker who is on maternity leave we discussed about targets on my support plan i am doing budgetting , we looked round tesco's today as tesco's walking distance to where i live so convient i walked round wrote down the price of food products i wanted to make a meal that healthy and fancy try cooking as simple and easy we start cooking next monday i buy my products on sunday as wrote down how much all cost me i making home made vegetable soup as also very cheap very surprised how much the low cost it is!!! quite excited now but scared and anxious too but determined to conquer my cooking skills through difficulties fear and anxieties where tend to put if off to 'another day' i let my care manager know by email our plans i also plan to make fresh made pizza half pepperoni and hawaiian pizza and also carbonara as looking for low cost as on part time wage but healthy basic easy simple cooking but sometime to work towards As a goal to make dinner for my parents and twin brother give my mum a night off be nice change treat for her! feel more positive about facing cooking challenges but don't know this may change when next monday arrives i may lose this feeling! it's about confidence with cooking building it up gradually i've got work on my independent living skills hard difficult mountain to climb as overwhelm myself with whole thing rather than breaking it down into smaller easier chunks i can manage and cope with in my head! i work myself up before even tried or done it but know same for norms out there too!!! XKLX

i NOT on a contract at all!!! i get free prescriptions as i have HC form from job centre as i on low income!

i earn 6.35 an hr where i work