Mum of 3

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<'> Sorry to hear that Emma 74. I've been referred for counselling too. Hope to come off the tablets ASAP as I am so scared of being dependent. Trying not to worry too much about it for the moment as they are making me feel so much better!

A change of scenery and something else to think about for a while does us all the world of good!

If these cracks have appeared since the CWI was done, it's most likely that that's caused it. Do you think the cracks go through to the bricks, or is it just the plaster? (Look at the walls outside-Ishould think the cracks would be showing there as well, if it was sudsidence (sp!). We recently had a new roof and all the ceilings now have holes all over them where the plaster covering the nails holding the plaster board up has popped out. The builder just said 'oh yeah, that sometimes happens'!!! A structural engineer should be able to help, but an ordinary surveyor (like you'd use if you were buying a house-try your local estate agent for one) should be able to give an initial diagnosis, for a small fee! Good luck, hope it's nothing serious. <'>

I'm going to get an industrial-sized bag for all the family! Will report back when I've sourced and used them.

Hi Bid, I have been suffering with anxiety and boredrline depression for ages now. I have been very manic, feeling that I have to do 'everything' all at once, and unable to rest or enjoy myself until every little thing was fixed ( which of course o=it never will be!). I tried Rodiola Rosea (one of the ingredients in Clarotin), but that was very expensive and didn't really help with my symptoms. I've been signed off work for 8 weeks now, but unable to use this time to relax, I've just pushed myself to do more so I didn't 'waste' time. last week, I collapsed yet again with the strain of having a load of washing left in the washer overnight(! ), and nearly left my poor long suffering DH because of it. That's when i realised I needed more help! I went back to my Dr and he prescribed Citalopram. I'm feeling so much clearer now after just 6 days. The nausia and sleepiness is really getting to me, though. How long did they last in your case? Also, I'm already worrying about what I'll do when I have to come off them. Is this hard to do? I've tried Rescue Remedy, and am also taking a mixture of flower therapies from my holistic councellor. Unfortunately, these haven't been strong enough for me. A friend of mine took SJW and found it helpful for a while, but, like me, ended up with a prescription when things didn't improve enough. I think it depends on the severity of your symptoms and what's causing them. Good luck, Bid <'>

Hi Nicky, I know just where you're at right now. We had a very similar rule to yours, but when we told the Ed Psych that we were having such trouble getting him to stay on the step, they told me to stop bothering-he just doesn't 'get' cause and effect. This is true, but unfortunately, they weren't really able to replace it with anything that works when G goes into meltdown. I haven't any good advice, as I'm struggling to deal with this myself. I have found that totally ignoring G can work, as can telling him, 'right, I'm bored with this now, I don't want to play anymore...' etc, when he is trying to get a rise out of me. As he gets older, he is beginning to be able to be 'talked out of' bad behaviour if I catch it in time. Like this morning, he was just winding up to a paddy, so he wouldn't have to get ready for school, and I reminded him how much nicer it is in the morning when he doesn't have a paddy. A bit of negotiation (I agreed to help him get dressed, which he likes), and we were on our way. At the same time, he got lots of big squeezes for co-operating and being a 'good boy', so he got the positive reinforcement. Doesn't always work that well though...

Erm... Well, that certainly created a bit of a kerfuffle, didn't it?... I'm almost scared to say anything now!!! Anyway, I went to the appt.... Mum went with me, so she was able to play with G whilst i talked to Paed. He went through some of the stuff the last Paed had written, which I hadn't seen a copy of (shouldn't I have copies of reports sent to me? Can I request this?). He also went through a checklist of sympoms/traits, and asked for examples of where G fits with these. He said he wants to do a blood test for fragile x syndrome. I need to know more about this. Didn't bring out my diary in the end, as the conversation seemed to flow quite well, and the Paed was keen to understand everything I said fully, and asked lots of searching questions. He said this appt will form his part of the multi-disciplinary assessment, so we won't be seeing him again now. The date for the MDA meeting is in August, so we should be getting lots more appts soon. Thanks all for your replies. This is such an emotive issue and such a difficult time. We all just want to do the right thing for our children, and that's hard when you're in such unfamiliar territory. <'> <'> <'> to you all.

Hi Shona, I was looking at swings the other day, and this company does an really good selection. Look under 'sensory motor' on the left hand menu. They're designed for used by therapists working with people with special needs, so they go up to adult size. They're American, though. I didn't get so far as finding anything in the UK. Hope this helps. http://www.especialneeds.com

Feeling just the same. Relieved to be back to the old routine, apprehensive about what's in store this term. End of last term was dreadful- G's angel of a teacher was off for nearly 3 weeks with gastroenteritis and a week before they broke up, the Headteacher tragically and suddenly died of a heart attack. School was a very sad and difficult place the last week of term (for everyone), and will never be the same again. I just hope they are all ok and able to pull it together for all the children's sake.

Thanks Karen, that's definately a better option. At the moment, he's convinced his Grandma will buy it for him and let him keep it at her house. I'm letting her deal with that one! Fancy you not realising the natural superiority of Canadian Indie music what on earth were you thinking?

I only realised at my ;atest appt with the Paed that I've not had ANY reports from any of my appts so far! He kept asking what the EP thought about this and that, and I kept saying I don't know. He thenn read something from the last paed we saw (now retired), that was completely wrong! I said what's that he's written, and he let me have a (quick!0 read. I told him it was wrong, but he didn't seem to want to correct it. This week's job is to chase up copies of written reports... Sigh... No wonder you were confused. WIth so many people firing questions at you and so many suggestions flying around, anyone could lose track! <'>

Forgot to add, he wants a drum kit...No chance!!!

G has always hated music-especially when I sing-along-a-Dolly in the car (Jolene, Jolene, Jolene, Joleeeeeene!!!) He never took any notice of the children's music I played for him, or the music and dancing DVDs and videos I used to watch with him when he was a toddler. He runs away from the telly when Boogey Beebies is on. BUT! One day, the radio was on in the background, and 'Born To Be Wild' came on. G stopped dead in his tracks and started headbanging!!!! I swear to God, if I hadn't seen it I wouldn't have believed it! He has long hair (won't have it cut), and really looked the part. He then ran round the house singing 'Boooorn-a-be-wiiiild'. Since then, he's developed an interest in any music he thinks might be 'rock and roll'. He asks me when it comes on the radio if it is, and if I say yes, he'll dance to it. If not, he just looks distainful.

Great to hear you had such a good day I find G's sensory issues get much better when he's happy. Maybe that's why your ds wanted to try new things to eat

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Sorry Bid, sorry Mumble... I wasn't intending to hurt anyone's feelings. The point i was trying to make (badly, I see that now!) is that this article makes it look as though the difficulties faced by girls on the autistic spectrum are no more challenging than those faced by any adolescent (girl or boy) who is trying to 'fit in'. This article, in my view, makes sweeping generalisations that trivialise the difficulties faced by children with ASDs by making them sound like the difficulties faced by any other girl. I am sure that Tony Attwood is right when he says that girls are , for want of a better phrase, 'under-diagnosed', due to the nature of the diagnostic tools which look more at typically male behaviours than typically female. I am sure that there would be a benefit in researching females on the spectrum and developing a diagnostic framework linked to that research. I also know that girls, even those with profound difficulties, tend to be quieter and less difficult in school than boys with similar difficulties (in the main...there are always exceptions), and this can result in them recieving less support (squeeky wheel again!). I just don't think the article put this forward in a way which your average man/woman in the street would understand. This is what I was trying to point out when I wrote:

Hi there and welcome

Hi Marikyn, welcome to the forum. I'm sure you'll find alot of support here. I'm one of the Mums with a child who has ASD traits. We're waiting for a date for our assessment. Like a lot of others, I've done loads of reading and research, and my DH and I both feel that he has a lot of AS characteristics. However, like KarenA, sadly neither of his parents are alive, so we can't find out about his childhood. All we know is that his family all thought he was 'strange' as a child, as he never liked playing with the other children, and always had his head in a book! As for not having children, my DH does struggle sometimes with the organisational aspects of having children, and this can cause problems as I like to have everything very well organised( ), but he wouldn't be without them at all. Although he isn't very demonstrative, he loves them to bits, and gets great joy from them. Please give yourself time on this one, as it would be dreadful to do something irreversible that you regret later <'>

My son is very passive at school, but very reliant on adults to show him what to do. He doesn't interact at all with other children, and doesn't even watch them to see what he should be doing, so is often 'lost' and has no idea what to do. He gets very upset and anxious when there is going to be something different on at school, and often has to be dragged there. Luckily, he has a fantastic teacher who prepares him really well for any forseen differences, and they always try to ensure there is someone in the classroom with whom he feels secure. At the moment he is in Reception class with a saint of a teacher. I don't like to think what he'll be like if he ever gets a dragon! (not a dragon, but this might be the only time I get to use George, and you've got to grab the chance!)

Thanks wasuup, I'm off to the NAS site now!

I've been keeping a diary of things G says and does for a year now, on the advice of various people I've spoken to about his difficulties. To me, it makes for very interesting reading (well, he is my son, and I did write it myself! ) My problem is, I'm not sure about the dx myself (Obviously, I'm not qualified to diagnose, and don't want to either), although there is certainly alot of stuff that points towards it, which tends to be what I record in my diary. For instance, his head teacher died very suddenly a couple of weeks ago. I thought he'd be devastated as the HT was one of his only 'friends' at school, but he just wanted to know who'd look after the children at school? Part of me thinks oh-ow, AS alarm -lack of empathy, but another part thinks this is quite a normal reaction for a 5 year old. He started to get really anxious the other day at bedtime, and eventually said he was worried about dying. I'm thinking 'is this strange? shouidn't he be more worried about me or his father dying than himself? Is he egocentric? Or am I?!!!' As you can see, I'm getting a bit tied up with myself about this (in fact, my flippant manner is masking my huge panic about this-it is literally driving me mad!). The last Paed visit didn't go too well for us. I felt as though I was more in the spotlight than G, and everything I said was met with 'don't all children do this?' This is a different Paed, one who actually knows about ASDs, I've been told, but I think I'll just break down if I have to face that sort of attitude. The last visit, I felt as though I was being treated as though I'd come in with the diagnosis, and now I had to prove it. This time, my instinct is to just wait and let them ask the leading questions that I can then answer honestly. The trouble with this is that if they don't ask the right leading questions, I'm going to end up trying to fit it all in: 'yes, but what about when he does this, or that, and when I say this, he says that!!!' So, my question is, do I go in and give a list of bahaviours, difficulties and differences and leave it up to him? If so, how do I do this with G in the room listening to everything without him feeling I'm betraying him? (This was a problem last time, he wouldn't let me talk to him without G in the room, and I wasn't prepared to do that, so I ended up not saying some of the 'bad 'things, to save G from hearing it. i doubt he'd have let me speak anyway, as it was he did everything he knew how to bring the Appt to a close!). Alternatively, do I 'come clean' and say that I've been researching and reading up on ASDs, and these are the areas where I feel he fits the Dx...with specific examples to back it up. If it's going to be this one, I'll need to clarify all my thoughts and write things down before I go in. You may have noticed I have a tendency to ramble .Does anyone have any ideas about how I could organise this 'evidence base', by theme, by areas for diagnosis (the 'triad of imparements'),chronologically? Any and all ideas on this would be gratefully recieved. I'm really struggling at the mo, and I can't get my head around it at all, but I want to be able to pull it together for Thursday, and approach this in a 'professional' manner, without breaking down and rambling like I have been doing lately!

Quote from Tony Attwood in article: ' "Boys go into attack mode when frustrated, while girls suffer in silence and become passive-aggressive. Girls learn to appease and apologise. They learn to observe people from a distance and imitate them. It is only if you look closely and ask the right questions, you see the terror in their eyes and see that their reactions are a learnt script." ' Far be it from me to criticise the emminent TA, but isn't this the case with most children? How else do we learn to socialise if not by observing people from a distance and imitating them? I, for one, spent about 3 years doing this in secondary school. I went in with 2 ribboned plaits in my hair, and perfect uniform. Believe me, the terror in my eyes was there for all to see! By 14, I finally 'got it', and imitated the more 'interesting' characters in order to fit in and be accepted by them. and some of the more colourful language I was soon coming out with was certainly 'a learnt script'- I certainly hadn't picked it up from home!!! And, I was still terrified underneath the bravado . I know for a fact that I am NT, and I'm certain there are thousands of girls like I was going through school every year. Childhood is all about learning how to be part of a group. From at least the age of 5, we bung them all in together in groups of 30, and expect them all to be able to get on with each other. The children in any reception class will have had all sorts of formative experiences, which will of course influence how easily they slot into this environment. Some will be leaders and some followers. I would say that most will be imitating and learning 'scripts', it's how we learn to get along with each other! Imitation of another person is a good social skill-it shows that you admire and want to be part of that person's social group. I'm sure that there is much more to all this than the article is suggesting, we have to remember this is all filtered through a journalist and then subs, who know no more about ASDs than I know about the Premiere League (that is football, isn't it, cos it's football I know nothing about!!!). The problem is, the way it stereotypes ASDs even further for the majority of the population. By the way, I've had a quick flick through the 'Special Interest' thread and sorry if I've missed any but I can't find any saying the weather, and only a couple of Thomas the Tanks (no trains!).

Hi Dana, I'm with you all the way <'> We've just begun the process with G, our 5Yr old DS. The EPs spoke to us and observed him at school and have referred him for a multi-agency assessment. At the same time, we're seeing a paediatritian. We first saw one last August, but he's now retired so we're seeing a new one on Thursday. Going to post on here for advice about what to say! One thing I keep reminding myself is that I'm in this to get help for G. I, too, keep wavering about whether or not G should have an asd dx. I've read every book I can get my hands on, and to be honest, I've become a little obsessed about it (and I scored nowhere on the online asd tests!!!). My mum and DH keep telling me to stop worrying-it's not for me to dx him; all we're doing is asking for someone to give us reasons for some of his behaviours and some help with dealing with it. On the issue of statementing, no matter how 'severe' other children are, if they all need support, they should all be getting it. The school need to be a bit more creative about how they provide the support, or how they request it, maybe! A statement may not be necessary. Alot can be done for a child at School Action +, or even at School Action, if they have good systems in place. And remember, the Govt is commited to their 'Every Child Matters' agenda, so use that to remind the school of their responsibilities if necessary. The way I see it, I don't want to be a squeeky wheel, but if that's what gets the grease, then... Let's Squeek!