Bullet

After three and a quarter years of me saying the word every day, of signing it for months as well. After months of singing "Pat a Cake" so the word was made part of the song to teach Ds1. After months of showing him a photo of what I was trying to teach him, of listening whilst it eluded him but he could recite whole passages of "Albert and the Lion" today Ds1 said the word I've been wanting to hear for so long. He called out "mummy" . Not just repeating it back, but spontaneously . I have no idea what he wanted because as soon as I came in he ignored me and has since then refused to even look when asked "where's mummy?" but I'm so chuffed I'm almost crying

That's excellent news

Hi and welcome .

ThePinkPather, there's no "just" about it. Your ds is very very clever. I am in awe of the way Tom can remember so much stuff. To give you an example, if you have a look at "Albert and the Lion" he can fill in a lot of gaps for about three quarters of it at least. I see his memory as one of his strengths and always use it to argue against those who declare because he can't ask for a drink yet, for example, that he's supposed to be slow.

Ds1's language is primarily echolalia (both delayed and immediate), with also counting and he can now label some pictures now. He has a fantastic memory and can fill in gaps in songs and stories very well but can't use language to communicate. His verbal understanding seems very limited though, things have to be kept simple, usually with gestures and worded exactly the same way each time.

Tom is pretty easy to buy for. Basically if it has lights and buttons, he's interested . He also love water, jigsaw puzzles and drawing (just scribbles and circles atm) and picture books so it's pretty easy deciding what to get him. He's not particularly bothered about toys that are concerned with developing imaginative or role play yet, we're lucky to get about two minutes worth of placing the figures in their designated spots and then ignoring them for example. Apart from the puzzles and drawing and his better fine motor skills he's pretty much on a level with Jacob his brother as to what sort of toys interest him, which is now leading to a fair few tantrums on both their parts when they decide they both want to play with the same thing

1 - Tom can give eye contact but it's a lot less than other children. 2. He can be very affectionate, but it's on his own terms. Try and hug him and he'll stiffen and move away, or sometimes accept but not really be bothered. However, when he wants he'll clamber into your lap, pull your hair, poke your face, kiss you and laugh at you . 3. He can recite rhymes and songs and recognise some pictures, knows numbers 1 - 30 (and read 1 - 20), most of his alphabet and some shapes. He can't communicate (eg say "Tom drink"), won't point things out or show things, has very limited verbal understanding (still doesn't respond to "where's daddy?" for example) and communicates his wants by dragging us to what he wants and manipulating our hands.

I have no idea about the ADOS test I'm afraid and I don't know whether your dd is Aspergers. If you and others believe she is then it is very possible she is frightened and is denying that she might be different. If you think that might be the reason, then please pass the following onto her. When I was a child my parents both knew I was different and my dad wanted me to be assessed. My mum refused as she knew I was academically bright and wanted me in the same school as my sisters and she thought if I was diagnosed with something I'd be put in a special school. This was back in the 1980's and early 1990's. I had to go to hospital to have my height and weight measured as I was underweight and delayed in my growth and the paediatricians picked up that I was different and questioned my mum. She deliberately brushed aside their concerns and said I was fine, knowing I was not but not wanting me labelled. As this was before Aspergers had even been categorized she was unable to put all my aspects down as one cohesive whole. My lack of co-ordination was just me being clumsy. My lack of social skills was just because I was shy. My lack of selfhelp skills was because I was disorganised and didn't think. My lack of explaining things was again because I was quiet and scatterbrained. My way of walking and talking was just me. My obsession with reading the same book (and sometimes the same page) over and over was just me being me. My handflapping, ditto. She doesn't still know about my habit of smelling the paper on books or tearing bits of paper up, but she does know I often read books backwards. Again, put down to me being me. She brushed aside the little things like the fact I never took much interest in fashion or music. So I grew up believing that all my difficulties, all the things I struggled with, were just me and I carried on thinking I was normal. I was getting my expected grades at school so what did it matter if I would spend breaktimes staring into space? Or even when I started VI form although I did start talking to a few people I couldn't then phone them up for a chat or go into town with them. The level of friendship was kept purely on the "work colleagues" level. Then I went to university and because I was very immature and had little concept of the real world I was unable to cope properly. I struggled on because nobody told me that surviving on your bf's breakfast toast and yoghurts for several weeks was not normal (I'd run out of money and didn't know to ask for help). I didn't brush my hair so at 19 my mum had to cut it out. I didn't wash my bedsheets so ended up sleeping under a pile of towels. And now I'm 31 and yes, I am married with two lovely children. But I daren't dare learn to drive as I can't predict what other people will do or keep multiple instructions in my head. I have a friend who lives in the same town as me but I can't phone her up for a chat and it takes a lot of courage to ask if she wants to visit or me to visit her. I can't read people's faces very well and can't do eye contact comfortably. I can't cope with shopping as everything gets too crowded and noisy. I have a degree and because I am not a teamplayer and find it very hard to think outside my routines and rigidity I've never had a job with any responsibility. I cannot co-ordinate myself enough to brush my hair, brush my teeth, wash my face, make sure my clothes are clean. On any day at least one of those things will be missing. Ironically I have no problems remembering the lads are clean and sorted, just myself. The point I'm trying to make is that if you are Aspergers then forcing yourself to think you are NT can have serious consequences. I'm due to have an appointment next week to have it semi-officially confirmed if I'm on the spectrum. There is no adult provision in my area. All I can do is finally have confirmation of why I struggle with some things and then try and carry on as best I can. If I had had help earlier on in my life, I might have found some things easier to cope with.

Will the "Toaster Tots" be a pop up book baddad?

The numbers have increased because the criteria has been widened. Twentyfive to thirty years ago the only people considered autistic were those who were classically, or kanner's autistic. Aspergers, for example, was not officially recognised and categorized until about 1994.

Good luck

That's marvellous news

It sounds as though they have little understanding about how your son's ASD affects him and don't realise a lot of his behaviour is linked to it. If you feel up to it, I'd suggest a meeting with them in which you explain why a couple of incidents they mentioned arose. Or you could write the main points down. If they're good, they'll start to notice some of the triggers themselves and look for ways of dealing with them, or ask you for advice. I'd give it a little longer if he's happy there, but if the situation starts worsening then don't feel guilty about removing him.

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This must be so worrying for you

Hopefully the more your family learns about Aspergers, TheNeil, the more understanding they'll become.

Excellent news

I haven't heard of core autism. I thought that kanner's, or classic autism, was when the child fitted the three sections of the DSM IV and signs were noticeable before the age of three years.

I breastfed Tom for seven weeks, however, by the fifth or sixth week it was getting noticeably harder. He just started refusing and getting distressed. We were both much happier when he switched to the bottles, though I would have liked to continue breastfeeding him for a bit longer. However, my mum breastfed me until I was 1 with no problems. I actually refused to take a bottle and went straight to a cup after.

I'd just politely explain the situation to her.

Tom had his blood tests to check for fragile x yesterday. There's a wait of about two or three weeks, possibly longer. So definitely longer then . The thing is, is that looking at it there is an increased chance the results will be positive (ie he has it). Not based just on how an awful lot of the criteria fit him, but because the criteria as presented in females with the syndrome fits me exactly. And I'm not just talking about the behavioural traits, I'm talking about the physical signs. Things like they found children with fx had delayed bone growth, I was monitored in my childhood and adolescence because my bones were three years behind in growth and the doctors wanted me to have growth hormones. There can be shortsightedness (I'm highly myopic). There can be overcrowding in teeth (I had to have 7 teeth removed and a brace fitted because my teeth were so overcrowded. There can be weak joints/muscles leading to clumsiness (yes, that's me). There can be a single line running across the plams of the hand, again, me. The child can often have an extremely fast way of talking, I talked so fast as a child few could understand me and my dad wanted me assessed for it. I've slowed down now, but am still quite fast and I only slowed down with practise. So I'm hoping that these are all just co-incidences.

Hope you get housed soon.

Fingers crossed he's starting to make the link

Hi Claire

Hope this woman is able to help you.