zaman

For shiny surfaces in kitchens use a couple of drops of baby oil and rub in. I feel like I have now truely reached middle age.

Which is sadder, you writing about how much you love your bins, or me for reading it?

I looked on the NAS website fot the Help course, and then PARIS, and couldn't find it. Could you post a link please if there is one? (Or just point me in the right direction if I'm being dim). Thanks

I have recently come to realise that I baby my 5 year old son, and it isn't doing him any good. I think that because I have been working so hard over the past year to head off melt downs, I have been pandering to him too much and need to start getting a bit tougher (although I have no idea how to find the balance!). So no help at all to you really!

I went on one called Parent and Child Interaction last year when my son was 4. It was good actually as it made me realise that I needed to learn how to interact with him differently to what I was doing.

Thanks everyone for my virtual party. Its the nearest thing I'm going to get to a celebration. Like many other people on this forum, I'm struggling, and birthdays just bring it all home to me how cr*p I feel. Just looking forward to going to my bed tonight so that another day is over.

I bought a yoghurt maker at xmas, but for the life of me haven't had much joy with it so far! I'll PM you the name of the shop that I bought it from, but it comes with a yoghurt powder that you are supposed to use as the basis of it, and I have been trying to make it without using that, but just with some live yoghurt as the base instead. I have a middle eastern cookery book that tells you how to make it using little more than a saucepan - if you want me to PM you with the details just let me know (it looks relatively easy).

Makes you wonder what she was doing with all the letters though, eh? Papiere mache (sp?) projects for the kids? What did she think was going to happen by ignoring your letters, that you, or the issue, would go away presumably. I thought that was only me . . .

I think that it is the sort of thing that would be written locally - at school/LEA level. So you should be able to find it on their web sites. But in all honesty its probably going to be a general 'celebrate inclusion' type of statement rather than a belt and braces listing of their anti-discriminatory policies. Most places don't tend to spell out homophobic discrimination. But then I'm not sure that from what you have said that this is about discrimination (which I think in law tends to mean treating someone differently, ie not getting something that they otherwise would have) so much as bullying and abuse on the part of the kid that started it. The point is that the verbal abuse that your son suffered was unacceptable - and that needs to be pointed out to the school, with the question as to what they are going to do to address that with the boy in question, as your son's actions were in retaliation. It is all too easy to dump on our kids as they tend to have communications issues, and the school need to be supporting his special needs. I hope that makes sense?

My son's paed recommended we get a mini trampoline, as this kind of thing is a form of stimming. It is called something along the lines of deep muscle relaxation, and they can get the same effect by making a child sandwich (kid lies on the bottom with an exercise mat on top, and another kid lies on the top), and even though when he first started asking for this is scared the life out of me, it is what his body needs to relax. The other thing we managed to do is get the school to buy a mini trampoline, and he gets to use it in between doing something that he has to concentrate really hard on (ie 10 bounces and then he does the next task). You can get them for around ?20 - cheaper than the price of a new bed!

Goinf off the main topic I know, but my son doesn't feel the cold either. I bought him a woolen duffel coat as we usually walk 20mins to and from school, and it can be a cold trip. But he complains all the time that he is too hot, and usually walks along with it open. School told me off this week as I let him just wear a t-shirt under his coat with no jumper, and they thought I was being a bad mum. Grrr. I think it would be useful for new-ish people like me if we started a pinned discussion on these sorts of traits, so that we can see how other people have coped with them - and what we can learn (weighted blankets for example being good for some kids with sensory integration issues).

Higgledy.

Hi Cmuir I've just seen that you are a graphic designer in touch with another graphic designer parent from the forum. I've just PM'd you as I'm a designer as well.

We went for the Epsom Salts baths last night. The kids had theirs first, and didn't notice anything different. But they both went to bed earlier than usual becuase they wanted to, and slept like logs. My NT daughter said that she'd had a lot of dreams this morning. And my son was singing from the moment he woke up to going into school! He even told my husband 'I love your clothes' - an outfit he has seen hundreds of times before. It was like he'd taken a happy pill. Who knows how much it was to do with the bath, but he really benefitted from such a good night's sleep. I had my bath, and I could notice a slight smell when the salts had disolved - but nothing offensive - reminded me of my nan's bathroom smell. You can feel it on your skin in the bath, as it makes it feel smooth, and you can see it attatching itself to the hairs on your arms and legs - but only if you look (something which my daughter noticed on herself). I also slept like a log, which is unheard of for me, as I usually wake in the early hours and lie in bed worrying about things. Will definatley try and do the baths every other day for us all (husband has yet to try).

Thanks for that Mother Eve - funnily enough the Outreach worker gave me the leaflet for the Plus Scheme last week, and I've signed up for the next course which starts in Sept. I found the details of the EB course on the internet originally, and really wanted to go, but I couldn't sort the childcare out so that I could attend. I know another mum in the same situation as well. Its a chicken and egg situation!

Viper, you are not alone. I know that my saying that doesn't help much, but I think that there are quite a few of us on this forum that have felt this way to some degree. Those symptoms - whether they are depression or not - are not good, for you or you child. I don't know what your situation is, but try and get some help even if it is talking over a coffee wth a friend. As others have said try and speak to your GP sooner rather than later. And I know exactly what you mean about staying up late - but lack of sleep only makes things worse as it is piling another element onto a wobbly pile. Exercise if you can - a walk, a swim, whatever you can manage, but it helps the head. The natural remedies that I find can help are St John's Wort (very mild anti-depressant can be bought everywhere), and Bach's rescure remedy (supposed to help for the crisis days, but makes me completely out of it!)

Thanks for this link MotherEve. It's interesting, in a really sad kind of way, to read how many of us there are that have had the same experience. It's only when you get further down the line and the shock of the diagnosis has worn off that you realise that you are back where you started really, with a kid who has special needs, but that you are no further forward with knowing how to support them, except that you can now give the condition a name. And even that, for me, wasn't enough as just knowing that he was 'autistic' didn't prepare me for the other stuff like sensory issues, the lack of facial recognition, etc. I know that this is an awful analogy, but when my dad was diagnosed with cancer, he was assigned a Macmillans nurse straightaway. She was brilliant as she helped with every aspect of care, as she helped my parents access all of the services that they wouldn't have know how to such as adapted furniture, got them respite care, arranged transport, etc. I guess that is something like the Key Worker is supposed to be - someone who can access the different services, etc. Hmmm. Not seen many of them about . . .

Apologies all, but this is going to be a rant. My son was diagnosed with ASD this time last year, and I'm not naive, but I don't think that it is beyond the realms of acceptable to have expected a bit more help and advice from the 'professionals' than we have had - and I know that I am not alone in this. For example, last night on this forum I discovered (thanks to Zemanski) that he may well have a condition called face-blindness (can't spell the proper word, sorry), which would explain why he doen't ever seem to remember who people are. It is great to have the knowledge from this forum, but why does it come to this? Why is there no detailed help for people post diagnosis? Luckily I have English as a first language and am not afraid to go out and push - but without knowing where and who to push, and what for - what then? The things that I have discovered have been through either my own research, chance, of finding other people with children with similar needs. But I feel really strongly that it shouldn't be such a lottery. The issues that we have has (sensory integration, sleep, meltdowns, etc) are hardly unfamiliar within the spectrum, so why isn't there the help and support available so that as individuals we aren't reinventing the wheel? I know that one answer is money, and another is willingness, but surely if we go to the time and trouble of an assessment, there should be at least some information on these type of issues afterwards - I have had nothing since the DX. Or am I just unlucky?

Thanks for the info Zemanski - would you know if this is the same test done for Dyslexia? A friend recently had her kid tested and he now wears coloured specs, as if so, I'll get the name from her of where she had it done. (Sorry if I'm putting you on the spot!) And I'll PM Ian about the verbal issue. Ta

Wow. That was amazing to read all of that on those links. And also really sad, that this is another trait that the poor kid has to deal with - as well as being another one that I can't pronounce! I've been struggling to get OT support for the sensory integration issues that he has, and getting nowhere, and now there is something else that I need to deal with. (Sorry to sound so petty, but am still struggling to understand and come to terms with the whole autism experience). I was beginning to wonder about this names thing though . . . He's only 5, and I've just read the link to the site that does this testing, and from what I have read it seems to need the child to be quite verbal - so presumably he would be too young?

My son is the same re not being able to remember names. If we pass other children from his class going to and from school they invariably say hello to him by name, and when I ask him who they were he doesn't know. He was visited at school by an autism outreach worker who noticed this as well, and she gave the school some tips on getting him to remember them (small books of the kids photos that gradually gets increased, etc). Of course because of the sensitivities around photographic permissions of kids, this isn't something that I can help with at home though. However, on other things, his memory completely outstrips mine. Whether or not this is a verbal/visual thing I don't know, but it seems to have the pointers really - ie if we are playing the card game pairs, etc

Master.

Who owns the Framework - is it a Gov thing? And if so, who is supposed to be implimenting it -the Health Authorities or the LAs? Sorry to be so ignorant, but I have never heard of it and would be interested in pursing it here. When my son was diagnosed at a multi disciplinary meeting, the Paed suggested that I be appointed the key worker on the basis that I seemed like the person most likely to get things done! Even though it was my first meeting I was not naive enough to take that on. So it got passed to the Health Visitor, who in turn passed it on, to no one . ..

zero

I mentioned it to my son's cranial osteopath yesterday, and she said that bathing in it causes you to sweat a lot, as that is how the impurities are drawn out, and to go straight to bed afterwards as it makes you feel exhausted. Taken as a drink it is supposed to be a very good cure for constipation, and I think one of the links to Autism is the dodgy gut problem that seems to be a trait in some AS people. (Apparently the 'purge' is also true of bathing in it, but in a much milder way). I found this on the web which explains it much better than me: Many doctors believe that autism is accompanied by bowel disorders that make it difficult to absorb nutrients and to purge the body of wastes. Sulfates, one of the major components of Epsom Salt, have been shown effective in improving nutrient absorption and toxin elimination. Magnesium, the other major component of Epsom Salt, has a demonstrated calming effect and plays a role in the activity of more than 325 enzymes. Because both magnesium and sulfates can be absorbed through the skin, many parents report that giving their child a warm bath with 1-2 cups of dissolved Epsom Salt just before bedtime helps extend the child's sleep cycle and ease digestive function.