indiscreet

Mike, when did this stop? And did you get over it by yourself?

I've come to realise that I want things on my own terms. I like to control the amount of time I'm with others and the amount of time I'm alone. If I visit someone I can decide when I want to leave; if they visit me I've no control over how long they stay. I have three long-term friends who accept the way I am but it's not easy to find friends who are so understanding. My relationship with my partner works because we're both the same that way. We don't live together but spend most evenings in each other's company and join up to go shopping, visit a library, see an exhibition, etc. but we each need time on our own. Even when we're together we often do something different - he's reading downstairs while I'm on the computer upstairs but it's nice to know someone else is here, in the house, within earshot.

One way of doing it is to have a section which can only be accessed by a special password. It seems to work on a non-autistic/AS forum I post on.

Hi, Merry. This is the forum I referred to: www.aspergersandproud.forumotion.co.uk

Only two people from here have joined AH Warrier's new forum so far, which is a shame because it could be a lot of fun. Apart from that it's good to look on the positive side of being on the spectrum. Kind of balances things up.

I feel the same way Robert - but then I've never had the urge to 'twitter'!

I do. In fact I suffered badly with OCD until I got it under some kind of control but I've never seen figures to show whether it's more prevalent among those on the spectrum than neuro-typicals.

Hi, welcome to the Asperger's 'club'.

I thought the world was forecast to end on 12 December 2012 - not the 21st.

The largest number of emoticoms I've ever come across is on the IMDb boards.

I've thought about this a lot and I've come to believe that the BIG problem is that while most forums are made up of people with a common interest ie. fans of a celebrity, or a common cause - fighting to promote something, or campaigning to stop something happening, here our common interest is something that ranges right across a spectrum. That in itself is liable to cause tensions and misunderstandings but in addition there's a mix of those with learning difficulties and those who are very high-functioning as well as those at various stages in between. Since it's part of the condition of autism to look at take things literally and to misunderstand, or misinterpret what other people are saying, while at the same time often saying something which, while it may be true, can seem hurtful or inconsiderate to others ( something which is my besetting sin in real life), it's not surprising that problems on this board arise from time to time. As LancsLad said: Individuals on the forum we are very different in many ways but in others we are so much alike, I guess petty squabling and falling out goes with the territory.

That's more than likely. The Spastic Society dropped the word 'spastic' since it was being used as a term of abuse. They are now called "Scope" and 'scopie' has become a term of abuse. I have no hearing in one ear as a result of an illness. It's a disability - or to use a now forbidden word, a handicap. Don't anyone tell me I have a diverse ability.

I don't consider having Aspergers's as a disability; however, having an injured ankle at present I do see as a disability and I agree with Darkshine when she says: "And I don't mean to be offensive - but "diverse ability" doesn't say anything at all - everybody could have diverse abilities - but some people who are disabled do not, some people have a very limited range of ability, some people can't communicate at all... for example."

Lyndalou, I sympathise. Those were the reasons given when I was initially told that I didn't 'qualify' for a diagnosis. However I gritted my teeth, stayed calm, and pointed out that it had taken a lifetime time of effort developing that 'inner strengh' and 'self-awareness' and I felt I was 'owed' the right to know if there was a reason why I am like I am, rather than that I am somehow to blame for it. To do her justice my GP understood and spent a lot of time and effort getting me a dx. As I result I felt - as Becky says in this article - "it was a massive relief to be told I had it because it took away the feeling of guilt Ild had for so long." So my advice is to go for it, keep pressuring for a diagnosis and don't take 'no' for an answer.

I had to tape this and watched it last night. As so often happens I felt the programme makers tried to cram too much into the time available. Also, I felt they spent a disproportionally long time on Tony, whose condition is familiar to many people, and not nearly long enough on Michael. It would have been interesting to know when he was diagnosed, and to have had some input from his parents. The part I found most informative was being able to see Zaine being assessed. I wonder whether the BBC paid for this because I think we were told that it was a private diagnosis (I'll need to go back and check that). Here again, though, I would have like some indication of how Zaine would be treated after it was established that he has both AS and is highly intelligent. Will he stay in that mainstream school (and if he does what kind of support will be available) or will he be found a place in a special school? If the programme makers had broadened it to two hours over two weeks I think it could have explained so much more about autism than it actually did.

Mike, BBC4 is showing a repeat tonight at 11.00.

For the same reason I'd like to see a sub-section on "Diagnosis and assessment".

I agree - it's a really positive and inspirational article. Thank you, Mandapanda, for supplying the link.

Apparently it's part of a series exploring how child development is affected by three major developmental disorders, beginning with autism. Child psychologist Laverne Antrobus meets a severely autistic teenager who requires full-time care from his family and a 19-year-old with high-functioning autism who is studying physics at the University of Surrey.

I've always heard autism described as a condition, something different in the formation of our brains which occurs before birth.

I've read the write-up on this programme and it sounds as if it could be very interesting.

My partner has the same problem. Last week he was photographing one of the stone lions outside the HSBC building in London when a security officer told him he wasn't allowed to photograph that office block. He replied that there is no law against photographing a public building so long as you aren't actually on private property - and the 'security officer' just walked away.

I didn't say that it was a bad thing - or that it was causing problems - I was just speculating about the history of this site, since if it had originally been started by and for parents then that could have an effect on the way the mods look at some of the current posts.

"I think there does need to be a debate about what this forum is for. As a new member this year I have yet to understand what the rules are for example, rather there seems to be none, only editorial control by people who I rarely see make a contribution." (LancsLad - Suicide Thread) I agree. Why don't we have a debate about what this forum is for - and hopefully the 'hosts' and mods will join in. I've always thought that it was probably started by and for parents of autistic children and that some of the problems arise from it having widened to include adults of all ages who are on the spectrum - but I don't know if that's the case.