tmf

Hi Donna I am new to the site also, but it is fab, they make u feel so welcome.....it's as if i have been on here for ages. It is certainly my best find I have a son who is 6 and is dx with AS, Welcome, but be warned it is very addictice......bang goes your housework!! tmf x

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HERO....

Hi Just needed to get this off my chest and thought there was no better place than here!! DS was being a bit of a pest all weekend , we then get a phone call and ds answers it. It's my mum, son has it on loud speaker (don't ask y, it's just he has to as he doesn't like phone by his ear!) so i can hear eveything thats being said. Anyway to cut a long story short, my mum tells ds that she will come over to see them. hr after hr goes by and she doesn't show. Before we know it it's bed time and still no sign of nanny, ds is now getting panicky as we want him to go to bed but he says he cn't coz nanny is coming over. We tried to explain to him that nanny obviously isn't coming now as she knows this is ur bed time. Well i am sure you can imagine there was one huge meltdown, and i mean huge. When we finally calmed him down we established his anger was because he had a done my mum a note and sealed it in an envelope all by himself and was looking forward to giving it to her. After i had got him to bed, i was angry at my mum for doing this to him, so rather than phone and say something i might regret i sent her a tx message, something along the lines of..'Thanks for telling ds you were coming round then didn't....we have had hell with him!' She replies i never said i was coming, just that i might. I didn't bother replying, coz there was myself and my fiance that heard say she was coming round. After 30 mins or so am on fiance's laptop and get an msn message from dad asking ' has grumpy chops chilled' (meaning me) so i replied saying i wasn't grumpy and that they should not promise a child like ds something they cannot fulfill. well that started a load of abuse from them saying i am not perfect and when i am then criticise. I said you dont have AS, all i was asking was that you think of what and how you say things to ds as this is the make or break of a meltdown. In reply i get 'stop overreacting, it's not like he is suicidal is it.' I didn't bother replying to this comment as i really would have said something i would have regretted. No he wasn't suicidal, but with my depression at the mo, i now know what makes ds tick and have a calmer boy as a result, she has now put me back 2 steps, just when i was staring to feel better in myself. What do you guys think, am i overreacting or was i justified in what i said?? I have tried and tried to explain asd to her, but she doesn't want to know. She won't even research it herself. It's not that she doesn't know, she doesn't WANT to know and that hurts. Sorry this ended up being so long, i just needed to get it out as i couldn't sleep last night going over the coversation. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated right now. tmf x

Just thought i would share a moment of happiness with everyone........ My ds (who has AS and is 6) came and sat with me on the sofa last night, looked at me and said i love you mummy, lots and lots..... My heart melted, he doesn't normally show feelings like this.

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Hi 007paul007 i am now a member, thanks for the email! tmf

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Hi 007paul007 Just sent a request to join!! Many thanks, the more people to talk to the better. tmf

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Hi Tally You sound like such a strong person! What a nasty man to be with, no1 deserves to be treated in this manner, whether it's physical or emotional, the scars they carry are the same. I have never been in this situation, well not to this severity anyway so can't even begin to understand what you are going through, but i can sympathise and send you lots of <'> <'> <'> !! Looking at the work issue, you say you work for a supermarket.....Is this Tesco's?? If is let me know, i am a manager there and can give you advice on how to be with them and what to expect in return. Pm if u like? Anyway hope the next few days go your way, will be thinking of you and for you. Take care tmf xx

Hi They sound fab and i think everyone who has replied has offered some valuable advice..... negatives with positives picture with tx only 3 at a time angry corner to release frustations Like rainbow queen, i have rules but not had them wrote down, so by the replies everyone has given i will certainly give it a go. And by the sounds of it the key is do it together! Hope they work, keep us posted! tmf x

Hi jayjay Yes can completely sympathise, with what you have explained (emotions) is exactely how i feel at the moment. The thing i find is helping is having a bit of 'you' time to yourself everyday, even if it's for 1/2 hr. I tend to have mine when my fiance arrives home from work. He sorts the kids out for bed while i potter about clearing up the dishes ect. Albeit it's only washing up, but it's my own company knowing the kids don't have to have any attention from me. Sending a big <'> . hope things pick up soon. Love tmf

I can't beleive this, my 6 yr old son set fire in a restaurant last month. He took a liking to the waitress and at the end of the evening follwed her around (she was clearing up as not many people left). She was blowing out the candles, and ds thought he would copy, except he took it one stage further and put a napkin in it.....am sure you can imagine the results, one little fire and patting it out on the floor. ....EMBARRESSED or what! Instead of frightening him he has only become more fascinated and am now considering calling the fire station to see if some1 can talk to him about the dangers of fires. tmf

Happy birthday to you both, hope it's a goodun and no feeling in the morning!

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lks Follow it through right to the end..........i can't believe a teacher has acted in such a way, it is disgusting. Wonder what the law makes of this behaviour when the law says we as parents can't hit our own children (for the record i don't just poiting out the law!). Y do hoy or hm just sit back and except what a member of their staff has told them, it makes me so b****y cross . I had a similar situation with my sons school, come home time the teacher let my son out without me being there he is only 6!!! I got straight on the phone to the hm who apologised and would investigate. Hr l8r i get a call back saying ds teacher said he escaped and didnt realise he had gone, now can i point out this is not actually possible as she stands in the door way with a child looking for the parent, this blocks the whole b****y doorway, i think she would have noticed if a child had barged past to get out!!! Anyway hm accepted what she had said so am really . When i got talking to another mum about the situation she actually saw the teacher let him out instead of sending him to the back of the q to wait! Result from this, ds has to be the 1st out everytime....no waiting around in the cold and rain Personally i dont like his teacher, she looks like she is just out of nappies, has absolutely no experience with asd and now i have behaviour probs at the school...no wonder i am Anyway i hope you get a good result, no-1 should be allowed to treat a child in this way irrespect of whether they have asd or not! Go Girl, we're all behind you!

<'> Thank you to everybody who has came on this thread and given me some words of wisdom......i certainly needed it! It was a huge relief to know i am not alone. It's amazing what a dx can do to you in the beginning, i thought i was coping and coping well.....until it came and hit me in the face like a bolt out of the blue! I seem to have the understanding of my son sorting it out......i can seem to reason with him now. This in itself is a relief, especially to know what can make them trigger. Thanks for the advice about St. johns wort, i will certainly give them ago, i don't want to go down the anti-depressant route (which is probably what's been putting me of going to the dr's). I am due to start some parent training courses very soon around the background to ASD, communication and behaviour which i feel will be extremely beneficial, especially to my fiance! If i start taking them now, hopefully it will raise me enough to face going. This place has been my best find yet, to talk to people who completely understand and can sympathise with the emotional rollercoaster of emotions. To have E-friends that are there 24-7 is the best therapy of all, so thank you all so very much. So for now i will start with the st johns wort and be strong and make that appointment for dr's. A big <'> to everyone that has helped. love tmf

Hi I am having a real low time at the mo and wondered if any1 else had ever experienced the same? I can't seem to face the outside world unless i really have to. The thought of it is making me ill. As for the telephone i hate speaking on it (you could never get me of before). Then out of the blue i get a phone call from my mum asking what is the matter as a friend of mine had contacted her as she was worried about me! It was only until i was faced with the probem head on that i realised i may have a problem....but it's ok admitting it, but then you go round in a circle about having to go to the dr's! I really hate public places at the mo. This has all stemed slowly since ds dx. I have gone from an outgoing friendly person to a virtual recluse. The more i want it to stop the more i seem to be . Anyway sorry for rambling on, i know it sounds like i am feeling sorry for myself, but with nobody knowing who i am i feel i can talk and let it out on here! Anyway i am going now as i probably am not maing any sense!! tmf

Yes i have seen Doodle doo......and yes you need the tablets!! Well we have a mixture in our house, DS loves anything Disney, especially Kim Possible, DD loves big cook little cook....in fact she is always nicking pots and pans and oven gloves to copy... As for me, well i think best cbeebies program is Something special, it's got the for me. Fiance thinks i've lost the plot, he comes home from work and i try to speak in sign language to him..lol

Ace

What a topic to open!! My employers are a nightmare......i went back to work when callum was 4months old, but luckily did evenings so it wasn't effected. Anyway to cut a long story short my job (checkout manager) was made redundant...arghhhhh. I had to take on the new role but unfortunately that meant days and although my hrs are relatively good, come school hols its a b***y nightmare. Up until the summer last year it was fine, then callum got dx with AS and i found my support network of childcare suddenly came to a halt. After working for a comapny for 9yrs of being loyal, i feel all i do now is constantly let them down which does nothing for my self esteem i can you! Giving up work is not an option, my manager has no kids herself so is completely unsympathetic to the situation. She doesn't understand that my aspie frets if he does not know who or where he is going, then before you know it world war 3 has broken out because he becomes amazingly frustrated and can't cope. I have been looking at something that is term time, but around here it is a case of not what you know but who you know and in all honestly couldn't afford the drop in wages. Just wish there was more hope i could give you, sorry i give you a negative outlook to childcare in school hols, but thats how it is for me..... tmf

Googled forums and came accross OASIS. I registered with them, put in a few posts and decided it wasn't very friendly. I finally asked if there was a uk based forum as i felt that the OASIS forum was very much used in the USA. Within in an hr i had a reply that led me here...... I have not looked back....it is soooo friendly, and 2 addictive, thanks for makingme feel welcome.

Hi J's mum <'> a big welcome, I am new on here tp, only joined a few days ago and have been made to feel very welcome. With this forum you get to realise you are not alone and it is nice to have people you can talk to and understand what you're going thru! tmf