yoyo

What with Bid's Minoan stones and Nemo's celtic knotwork the forum may be able to solve the mysteries of the universe! BTW my hubbs did his Masters dissertation on the history of Northumberland place names and that is definitely bamboozling! My thesis was on 'Urban Archaeology: a planning policy'and my dissertation was on the spatial distribution of change ringing (campanollogy) in Ireland. Lipstick Aspies sounds great. Hope you have more good times. yoyo

I do sympatize with you having a child that never feels tired. I was also like this as a child; definitely did not know what it was to feel tired - do now but I am still capable of what seems to be almost brutish forms of energy when I am under pressure nad must achieve what I perceive I need to. Yoyo

I have always had a problem with not feeling full. My eating was very strictly controlled as a child, because my mother was a control freak, not because anyone knew I might have AS. As an adult I still have little sensation of feeling full and have to be very careful to keep my weight down. My metabolism seems to be hideously slow too and unfortunately I do not like fruit at all. I have read elsewhere on this site that both the lack of sensation of hunger and the inability to feel full is common in AS - this explains a lot to me as I have always felt I had a problem with food rather like alcoholism, but it is also rather depressing in that it won't go away. Yoyo

I have just thought about the emotional section of the sensory questionnaire, which this thread relates to. Apart from the tantrums I am like every heading in that section. I often ask my husband if he is ok and if he loves me ( he is amazingly wonderful) but I fear that I cannot read his face and often think he is cross when he isn't. It is had to realise that I am stuck like this! Gill

I am like this with people I don't know and it is impossible to make lasting friendships as I lose confidence in people so easily. I could not reunite with my natural family after adoption as I could not trust that they accepted me. My natural father who has AS could not understand this at all - I can see why as he only understands his own feelings.

Thank you so much for working so hard to restore the forum. I was reading the sensory questionnaire and I noticed a folder thing (excuse poor tech wording) flashing across the screen. I also noticed some names in red and then I got the Trojan warning. My machine seems fine and thank you for working into the wee small hours for us all. I tried to keep a sense of perspective but I felt something was missing until I switched on tonight after work and found that all was well. Gill

.......she's bright as a button and to those at school just appears to be a model pupil but she's so naive and i cannot even imagine her being able to find her way round a big school without becoming distressed. Unless she's told absolutely clearly what to do or where to go, she panics. Also now she's 8, some of her friends are forming little cliques etc and talking about boys/fashion, but it goes completely over her head. She thinks they want to talk about pokemon .....and wants to discuss that with them all the time. I feel its just a matter of time before she finds herself excluded from these groups, and hubby's right, the older she gets the worse it will get for her. Not that it bothers her, she doesn't seem to mind if she has no one to play with someone is being mean........She even moved schools without a backward glance at her friends, whilst our son was in tears saying goodbye Sorry about the above - I truly screwed up with replies!!. Debs, the above extract was me - academically VERY strong- photographic memory, top of class etc but so naive, and remain completely disinterested in fashion etc. My secondary years were hell as I realised I was so strange. However, I was so unhappily adopted adn abused by my mother that I thought my strangeness was due to her. It was only when I got married and thought my problems were over that I realised I was not geting better. I don't know whether it would have been easier to be diagnosed; I have simply spent my life trying to be normal and I have to say that I have largely succeeded. My work colleagues think I am normal, if a little highly strung under pressure; all they remark on is my mega strong focus, memory and ability to achieve. My husband and children know the exact truth - the phobias, anxiety, hatred of social situations and basic lack of trust in people. Discovering AS through meeting my natural father has simply provided an explanation for my behaviour - it's rather discouraging that I will not get better. I hope that your daughter does not suffer at school and I wish you well as you support her and help make things easier for her. Best wishes, Gill

She is doing well at school, above average intelligence, has friends, is very talkative etc etc.....nothing really which grabs you on first glance. But she also has some very strange "quirks".....her speech can be very precise and formal, she finds it difficult to read facial expressions and understand jokes with double meanings, she does not understand it when a friend is being mean to her and quite often thinks they are being nice, she tends to believe what she is being told even if it's quite clearly untrue, tends to stick to rigid rules of behaviour,.......... she is very fussy about her clothes to the extent that collars/labels/length of socks really upset her (its nothing to do with fashion, and although shes 8, she doesn't have any sense of fashion), she doesn't like noisy, crowded places.... Now, we've had a chat with school, and her teacher thinks there is nothing to be concerned over. She said our daughter reminds her of a 1940's child in that she is very polite etc, she said she does tend to prefer to sit out /at back during group sessions, and if asked to do anything new (like refill a water bottle) will become very upset.. Hi Debs, I am undiagnosed adult, but your daughter's traits are so similar to mine at that age. My obsessions were different - cars, trains and music. I can also identify with the girl in an above post referring to her sister being hit by a car etc. I used to blurt out things like this and feel dreadful afterwards. I still have weird thoughts but manage to keep them to myself. I hope you can ascertain an accurate assessment for your daughter and that she will obtain the help and support she needs. Best wishes Gill

Cavaliers are simply wonderful, so affectionate, intelligent and real companions. We have always had them since we got married. All they want is loving - an ideal dog for children. I wouldn't have anything else. Yoyo

Hi TheNeil! I am so glad that you introduced this topic as it has helped me as an adult with possible AS. Thank you for what you have done and I am so sorry you have been upset. I identify with a lot of what you are going through and am sad to note your work colleagues' reaction, but it is probably bacause they don't quite know what to say. I also struggle with anxiety, sensitivity (paranoia in my case!!)and need to be busy at work- unfortunately this seems to be part of the territory for AS. I do hope you can find things to make you busy as it does help with the depression and helps give structure and routine. Recently I have tried gluten free food and avoided sweet things (probably not for long as I am chocoholic) and I haven't felt as lethargic or fussy headed. Hope I haven't rambled too much and that you find support and information here. Yoyo

I am 46 and discovered AS a year ago after being reunited (unsuccessfully) with my natural father, who has AS, his son and granddaughter also. My adoptive mother, who abused me, thought I was 'not right in the head, not normal, physcopathic etc because of my tantrums. I still cannot socialise and I fit much of Tony Attwood's descriptions and can identify with numerous problems described here, particularly in the anxiety, hyperlexic, nightmares, depression and difficulty coping without routine areas. As many of you say, I fit the female trait of attempting to fit in and certainly make a good attempt at pretending to be normal. At work the greatest features people would notice is my phenomenal (their description) memory, sheer concentration and anxiety; they would not describe me as abnormal but my husband and children are certain of my possible condition. I would love to be in Lauren's position regarding a possible diagnosis as I am certain the NHS will not be too keen. After years of wondering why I seemed so different to others, i is good to know what might possibly be the problem. Yoyo

Hi, I'm Yoyo - the name of one of my dogs! I have been a member of this site for a few weeks now and am so grateful to all its members for its benefits. I am 46 and a self-diagnosed high-functioning AS female. I live in West Berkshire and I am wondering if anyone has experience of attempting to gain an NHS diagnosis. I discovered AS when I was reunited briefly with my natural father following a most unhappy and abusive adoption. On my first meeting with him he told me that his granddaughter and son of his marriage are officially diagnosed with AS and that he diagnosed himself. He had OASIS information to give me and, as I read it, I realised it was all about me. A feature of my childhood was tantrums and I still become extremely stressed with relative ease. At school I was laughed at when I blew up, now it's not so funny as I am so agressive; I feel it coming so fast I cannot stop it. At school I was always first in class, was described as having a photographic memory, in some ways lacked concentration but alwyas had to be the best, so I made it my business I knew what I had to know. Musically I was gifted and my children and I have performed to a high level - nationally and internationally. My other great favourites were geography and maths. Physically I am extremely clumsy. I like routine and find it difficult toGainfully occupy myself in unstructured time. I survived university on the academic front as I read a subject with lots of lectures and practicals. Socially I was and, to some extent, still am a complete disaster. I cannot make close friendships; my husband and children are simply exceptional. As a child I was the butt of much teasing and bullying as I took everything so seriously and literally, I could never tell how anyone was feeling by how they looked and while this has improved, I am still not very good and rely heavily on my husband to understad things. I cannot distinguish someone's idea of a joke from a lie and this causes me much upset. I seldom go out socially and have no friends. I teach in a prep school and the incredible busyness and set routine suit me well. The social form and rules expected are easy for me to understand. I keep a distance from colleagues as I do not feel safe close to people as agendas and lack of trust tends to creep in. My worry levels are very high and I am permanently anxious about something. Similar to someone on this site I anticipate things going wrong and have a dreadful fear of people close to me dying or getting killed. This site has also helped me explain two very prominent features in me: a diificulty curbng the tendency to overeat and an inability to forget wrongs done to me throughout my life - I remember in such great detail; it's not that I don't want to forgive and forget - I simply have to fret things to death before I can view them rationally - a process which can take years. Few people believe I have these problems as I grew up having to hide as much as I could so it is all going on inside. I find long walks and cycle rides along by the sea, canl or river very soothing. I hope this is not too long, sorry for boring everyone. I wish everyone well on this site and I feel particularly for those who are in depression and having such dreadful problems at schools.

can say yes to both too - my d finds it really difficult to let go of past hurts and no amount of trying to explain works. She also pre-empts problems and gets really worked up about situations that hasven't yet arisen but might I just want to thank everyone so much for this thread, however old it may be. I am fairly new to this forum, suspect I am Aspie but would be laughed out of it if I tried to get diagnosis. I was adopted as a child, very unhappily, and found my natural family recently. My father has AS, so does the son he kept and so does his son's daughter. I realise that all my insecurities, paranoia, high intelligence, severe anxiety etc most lkely put me on the spectrum. This thread has been so helpful as I am exactly like the quote above. Although I am fully familiar with the 'commited christian, point of view, I simply cannot forgive and I remember wrongs done to me forever. I relive conversations for years and I am like that child described above regarding being told off. Currently I am seriously struggling with how my parents gave me away at birth and cannot get my head round it. I have been thinking about this all the time for about two years. This thread won't make it go away but it has helped me so much as I realise the reason why I can't let go. I also always anticipate things going wrong or likely to go wrongAnd assume everything is a personal affront. Thank you again. Gill

Music has been my life line all my life. As a weirdo at school who couldn't socialise I was also a weirdo who could play piano and organ better than anyone else!! It was wonderful to be able to shut myself away and play for hours as a child; I still find locking myself in a church to practice the organ deeply pacifying and satisfying. As a parent of three talented musicians and a school director of music I would strongly advise anyone who has a child that wishes to learn an instrument to go along with that wish. It is perfectly feasible to teach three to four year olds violin or piano and to introduce the reading of notation straight away. Some have mentioned that their children are tuneful singers and singing lessons have proved to be great confidence builders for many children. Certainly the rarer woodwind and brass instruments give great opportunities and have the potential to provide a long term niche at school and beyond for children with ASD. Low brass is a good bet for those with co-ordination problems or who might have difficulty reading notation. Hope this helps and that I have not rambled too much

it is a mixture of sensory problems where you can't tellyou are full, it is like the on off switch doesn't work is the best way to describe it, I t is almost like being an alcoholic, the desire is massive. I have spent my life battling with a desire to overeat. As a child I was very restricted by my mother, but once I left home the problem became such that it resembled alcoholism. I have discovered AS relatively recently and am most relieved to read of the overeating problems expressed on this site (not pleased that people are suffering though). People just saw me as a freak or one who had no willpower if I described my problem with food. I also find bread, cakes etc so comforting, not to mention chocolate!! It really does feel as though the full switch is not there. Thank you to all who have posted on this issue; it has been most helpful.