chriss

I know how you feel Bid. I have been made to feel like a bad parent because I found it impossible to implement the diet and my child does not have any stomach problems. Good luck to everyone who tries it because I know that it is definitely helpful for some children but it isn't the right answer for all asd people.

You said the right things to him Mel. It will get easier and puberty is hard for all kids - just that bit harder for him.

Hi Cmuir It sounds like you are having an awful time of it. My own son used to say he wished he was dead too and it was so painful. All I can suggest is trying changing his diet. I know that implementing a full gluten and casein free diet can often be nigh on impossible with our kids, but I have seen great improvement in my sons behaviour just by greatly cutting back on dairy. He used to drink at least one full pint of milk a day back in the days before diagnosis - when I thought he was schizophrenic! He has only a little dairy now and he is calmer for it. I understand the whole reasoning behiind the Gf/CF diet but found it too hard for an inflexible child on an already restricted diet but our paediatric nutritionist said that milk consumption is linked to anxiety in everyone. I hope Forteviot proves to be a more positive experience for you than CAHMS. Hopefully they will have more sense than to blame the parents! It does sound disruptive to your routine but to have that level of help from the professionals is actually quite rare and there must be some way in which they can help you. Good Luck.

I felt the same way before my son's first appointment with his Paediatrician. I really didn't know what to expect and at that point I was in denial that anything was really wrong. I only went because his nursery pushed me too - despite 4 years of sleepless nights and tantrums (DUH!). As it was the Paediatrician gave my son a thorough physical examination and asked a series of questions. He was definitely following a certain pattern of enquiry. However, I answered a lot of the questions completely wrongly. For example, he asked if C had any odd collections and I said no. Later I remembered the all plastic jewellery he liked so much and wore most days quite obsessively but as this didn't jump immediately to mind as a collection I didn't mention it. Neither did I mention his obsession with jigsaws and ability to read some words at the age of 2! Even though he asked if my son had any strange behaviours. The outcome was at that meeting he only said my son had some autistic traits but nothing clear cut. It was 2 years later when my son was having an awful time at school and 2 or 3 meltdowns a day that he was finally diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome. My unwillingness to accept that anything was wrong the first time we saw the Paediatrician meant my son didn't get the support and understanding he needed at school for his first year and a half there, and we missed out on benefits we could have claimed and should have claimed as his behaviour meant he wasn't able to put up with nursery for more than a couple of hours so I had to give up my job. I think it is good that you recognise your son has some autistic behaviours. The Community Paediatrician will follow a strict diagnostic procedure and decide if he has enough to warrant a diagnosis. All you can do is give as full a picture of your child and his behaviour as possible. By the way I have read since that if a professional says your child has some autistic tendencies than you should push for a clear diagnosis as that means he has some problems but with such a vague "diagnosis" your child is not going to get any support or help.

Angels

I just think Dirk is showing his age to be honest. What 61 year old wouldn't be miserable in his situation? What has been written about Ian is really interesting because I have thought , watching him, that he is really hyper. The person whose mental health really concerns me is Jo. I know she has been awful about other contestants, especially Shilpa, but in doing so she reminded me of my mum who suffers badly from depression. When my mum feels anxious or threatened, which is quite a lot of the time, she is horrible about people she comes into contact with. It is her way of making herself feel stronger. She really isn't nice to be around then but when she is having a better time or is taking her anti-depressants then she is so much more positive about everything and everyone and just nicer all round. I watch Jo chain smoking, suffering panic attacks and sitting around in her dressing gown half the day sniping about people and I see my mum. It makes me wonder if she is suffering from anxiety or is prone to depession and shouldn't really be in the house at all. I really fear for her for when she gets out. How can she cope with all the things that have been written and said about her? I know she has behaved very badly but she is ignorant of how awful some of the things she said were and I think her career is finished for sure now. Personally I think Channel 4 have a lot to answer for for not intervening in the race row earlier. They are destroying the lifes of several people just to get more viewers.

guy

Hi Anita, Hope you are feeling a little better now. Lou Lou is absolutely right - Womens Aid are brilliant. I have a friend who used to work for them and she has always been a wonderful listener and a non judgemental person. If you find it easier to talk to people over the internet you could visit www.rapecrisisonline.com. You shouldn't have to feel so alone and it's good that you are talking to this forum. But you might need professional help as your ex and his family sound like bullies and your Aspergers syndrome may be contributing to isolating you so they think treating you badly is ok. For this reason maybe you could contact the National Autistic society as well. I hope things get better for you. Chriss

Hi again, My son had no adverse side effects. Unlike when we tried vallergans syrup which left him with a kind of hangover so he was a psycho kid from hell! I'm not sure why melatonin doesn't have a licence in this country yet. I think maybe not all trials are complete on it yet, or it may be because night workers have a slightly higher rate of some cancers which is thought due to their altered melatonin levels. Not to put you off though! This can't be too significant as you can buy it like aspirin in America. I'd give it to my child again without any worries, as his melatonin levels are already haywire and lack of sleep is bad for anybodys immune system.

A phonecall to our Paed might be just the ticket! Thanks for that

Hi Krystaltips, We were given melatonin in powder form and the only way I could give it to my son was by mixing it in yoghurt or choccy pudding. He was only 2 then (he's 7 now) and he would be sleepy within 20 minutes, if not less. The trouble is the effect wears off quickly, so whilst it is very effective at getting them to sleep it won't necessarily keep them asleep if they tend to wake in the night anyway. If you think he will stay asleep once he has taken it then 10:30 should be fine. He'll probably be asleep not long past 11. The sleep clinic would only let me have melatonin for a month as the nurse insisted his sleep problems were my fault! I do bear a very big grudge for that! eventually we stopped going as she didn't help us and her advice (controlled crying and nothing but controlled crying) was making things worse. My son has since been diagnosed with Aspergers and has never been a great sleeper but is better now then he was as a tot. If he is having a particularly stressful time at school he can't sleep and lately has spoken of how much he hates lying awake at night so I am going to ask for melatonin for him again. Good luck for when you do get the prescription! I nearly forgot to add that the more sleep my son gets the better his behaviour is so I hope this is true for you too. I used to blame all his awful behaviour on lack of sleep when he was little!

I scored 36. When I was younger I did really well academically and got postgraduate qualifications but I have never had a well paid job, despite applying for literally hundreds of positions (some I was ideally qualified for, some less so). This is partly because I was very similar to you as a child and my self-confidence suffered terribly as a result, but also because I struggle with nerves and some of the interviews I did get went dreadfully wrong. I am glad, at the age of 37, to understand at last why I have been such a failure in the real world.

Hi Krystaltips, The thing with melatonin is not to aim to high at first. The worst thing you could do is give it to him really early say 8 if he normally doesn't sleep till 12, as he will sleep at 8 and by 12 probably be awake and full of the joys of spring. Just aim to get him to sleep a little earlier than normal then hopefully he will sleep for longer. You can adjust the time you give it to him then and hopefully he will get in to better habits by himself as bedtime becomes more relaxing for him. Think I might see if I can get another prescription for my boy... Good Luck and enjoy the rest and freedom this will hopefully bring you!

Yes my son is fine during school holidays but often gets an upset tum in term- time particularly towards the end of term when he is more stressed.

People kept quoting that Mrs Thatcher fact to me when I was getting 3 or 4 broken hours of sleep every night due to my son's night time habits. The thing is Margaret Thatcher also had daytime naps! It's not the same as having only 4 hours sleep in every 24! Plus if she had gotten more sleep she might have shown more humanity...

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My experience of Cahms was a very positive one generally but again they told me my anxiety was making things worse. This was true, but I needed proper help to make my own life easier which just wasn't available. It was all very well telling me I needed to be calmer but I would have been calmer if I could get a good night sleep or had help getting a child in meltdown home from school or could just get the school to understand that just because he was well behaved and calm there didn't mean he was ok after school. And it wasn't because I was lousy parent that I couldn't handle him when he came home stressed after school. I was caught in a vicious circle. Because I had so many awful incidents with him in public whenever I took him anywhere I was on edge in case he kicked off again. He would pick up on my anxiety and become anxious himself which would set him off again. We needed practical help to break this chain as we were both at the end of our tethers. One good thing was they taught me cbt to use on myself to help me cope with my own negative thoughts. So if I found myself in a situation were C was kicking off and people were staring I learnt to tell myself it didn't matter what they thought, they were people we would probably never see again and some of them would probably guess he was in meltdown. And if they knew what his problems were they would be sympathetic. That kind of thing helped me a lot personally but I was overly sensitive to the views of strangers in the first place! Don't give up on CAHMS yet as there is so little help available out there. Perhaps you could ask if there is anyone with more experience of ASD you could see, or if you have to see the same woman again insist from the outset that you want the meeting to take a more positive line without any blame being attached to anyone for his behaviour. I think it's outrageous that she was so judgemental of you. Anyone with any real knowledge of Aspergers knows its easy but WRONG to criticize the parents! You know best what social situations your child can tolerate and if you weren't a good parent you wouldn't have contacted Cahms in the first place.

You are absolutely right Paula! It's interesting that her LEA are now saying- that they think the provision in their state schools IS sufficient. This goes against what Ruth Kelly has said, but how can the LEA admit that their schools aren't adequate for an SEN child? I think Ruth is about to become the latest in a long line of parents to be stitched up by an LEA! Ruth earns good money as an Mp and I'm sure she works hard for it, but I find it sickenly ironic that she is using that money to pay for a private school because services she was responsible for just aren't available in state schools. As an MP she should be ashamed but as a parent she has to do the best for her child. By the way does anyone believe David Cameron when he says he wants to send his kids to state schools?

My son has Aspergers syndrome but I think he is somewhat hyperlexic too. He could read about 10 words at the age of 2 when he had a vocabulary of only about 30 words. Words he saw often such as mummy, stop, go and police (which were on his cars). He also could recognise trademarks at a very early age. Things such as McDonalds, Argos And Nike. He was also ridiculously good at jigsaws. These skills seemed to disappear for a while and in his first year at school he wasn't particularly good at reading and writing.Then he had a very troubled time when he started year 1 and was placed in a far larger class and we had some awful behaviour at home, whilst he streaked ahead academically. He got level 3 in all his SATs last year and is a prolific reader and has an amazing vocabulary. He is a very visual learner and learns a lot from just having posters on his walls. Unfortunately, his handwriting is atrocious and he hates having to write anything down. He has hypermobility in his joints and writing is very tiring for him. I think there is a very thin line between hyperlexia and other neurological conditions so that is why it is difficult to get a diagnosis. My son does well at school academically but gets no practical support so it is very, very stressful for him. The Ed Psych says he is doing so well he must be ok- but that is far from the truth. Have you seen the advert where a little girl spells out paleontology? I would have kittens if I had another child and they did that!

I also agree with you Canopus. Though of course I'm not impartial, but what is the point of being super bright academically if you haven't received the support you need to get through school with some self-esteem left and without being a depressed nervous wreck at the end of it?

We saw Leon Lopez in panto a couple of years back and he was brilliant. He deserves to do well.

Thanks LizK

Can Gp's prescribe melatonin?