Gold MD

So sorry your son treated you like that but a lot of people on the spectrum can be saying nasty things they do not mean out of frustration. It clearly upsets you. I'd say you should not put up with this. Draw up some lines. Get a bit of help. Are there support services for parents of kids on the spectrum? Maybe you cannot handle him alone.

Do you have family members you can stay with?

I was not banned in Number 6 and while I never went there much, they have seasonal parties. They can help with housing too. I also see a supervisor as the court set that up. He might be useful if he had connections and just helped out more. He's meant to be watching me until next year, so I think we should not fall out.

I actually wanted to work as an extra in films. I find there is no work in Edinburgh. You can get paid for it. You don't go in expecting a career. And women are distracting in good and bad ways. I am torn between loving them and being a misogynist.

Laura was the only "girlfriend" I have had. I'm a mug for allowing her to use me. I've never been lucky with any woman who I talked to when I knew she was single. They treated me like I was a freak. It does not help that I'm not socially active. I've got an anxiety disorder that makes me very nervous so that hinders my capabilities, and I have not got Brad Pitt looks either.

It is semi-annoying. All my things are crammed into the one room and my mother thinks I shall not receive enough housing benefit for a private flat. The supported flat I had came with all the rent paid. Oh and it exceeded £700 a month. No kidding. You do realize I cannot even legally say sorry to them and getting another flat will be a bit of a problem. I also hate being single.

I hate to have to admit it, but I know you are right. That has buggered my future, sadly. And trekster, try not to repeat your posts.

I used to feel bipolar people were unsafe but you have to look into it that with that and autism, it affects us differently

Were you a parrot in a previous life? Three identical posts. Ha!

While I agree somewhat that there is a link between what you eat and how it affects your mood, I feel being turned on by the people I liked and trusted was what caused me to feel what I can only assume for lack of a better word is practically worthless. They had been my primary source of socializing since about 2008 (even if that's generally not what support workers are actually there for), but you get my drift. Other than my friend Frank and this Laura who used me, I've never hung out with groups of friends, so they were kind of there for me and so they sort of felt like my friends. Think about it: I had a support service and a flat they worked in next door. What more did I need? There, I had people to do things with, as well as a place to hang my hat. I'd gotten to be so used to them as well. Now it's all gone, I've been jailed four times in total because of them too, and they don't even care. Who is "Peter" to them? They were not there while I was stuck in prison, nor do I reckon they actually feel remorse for lying to me about Joanna and Sara. Now I feel like I was easily replaceable and not that important. It's what the army people would call being expendable. They've done a dirty on me once too many times, gotten away with everything they did to me and now I do not matter.

Due to all the stress they put me through, I thought it would be an injustice to allow them off with it. However, I am worried that I don't have a leg to stand on, legally, whereas I have been jailed four times and that means the court obviously are on the side of these former support workers, because they have never been charged or sent to jail. I've kept on thinking that perhaps if I had a better lawyer who understood autism and/or mental health conditions, I could have perhaps stood a better chance of getting the matter dealt with, where I received a fairer outcome. Murray is okay, but I think he probably isn't going to help me attempt to sue the agency, nor do I think I could. The staff at the accommodation I was in before probably have a whole folder full of stuff about me logged, no doubt, yet I never kept any of the emails they sent me. They were too plaintive anyway. There was nothing confessional about them, and if questioned, they would likely just say they had a responsibility to call the police in case something happened to me, so they would use their positions as my "carers" to get off the hook. They were too smart to put anything in writing as well, unlike me. I've always previously gotten into soapy bubble by sending messages to these women and one of their boyfriends in the past out of impulse, after being told not to contact them. There is no way I can prove the following things truthfully happened either: * Patrick sending me emails years ago, under the guise of Bruce Ritchie. * Seniors lying re: Joanna and Sara not supporting me. * The assistant boss ending my tenancy, after lying about the rent. * All the lying to the police, like when I was found on the street once. My lawyer said a while back he would help me take action against them, but Sara and Joanna have since left, so I would never get a chance to make things right with them since I lost their support and my flat, and that is really what caused all of this mess to begin with. I'm honestly struggling to come to terms with being betrayed, even though this matter has run its course. I'd be better off shutting up about it now and getting on with my life, while accepting they won't be in it, but it really still irritates me, and without having any help, life is hard to cope with alone. I'd banish them from my thoughts if only I knew how. But I don't want them to get away with what they made me suffer through. However, it's verifying that this all happened that is the biggest issue of them all, and it's going to be impossible to say they did all these hurtful things without any evidence. Please help!

You have 666 posts, Mihaela. Not a lucky number! Anyway, I too have OCD, major anxiety and also a diagnosis of PDD-NOS. I went to a cash-point today, but I was very anxious. I've had this anxiety problem for a long time. Now I have no support. But who needs them? They've let me down. I'm not saying they are all like this. Some do a better job. Some don't do it other than for the experience and the money.

I've been put through a lot of this online bullying stuff as well. I know first hand how it feels to be the victim of repeated cyber harassment, which is hard to deal with due to the anonymity trolls possess behind their screens. They've even gone as far as making an Encyclopedia Dramatica page about me, full of lies. Yeah, it's truly sad that people with no lives do this to hurt people.

Do you know how to add in my date of birth? http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7300643/

It was Autism Initiatives who supported me so I jumped at the chance to move in there. And no. Nobody from that company helped me in jail at all and all they did was admit they could have handled things better. Yeah. Muppets.

Plus in jail, I said to that guy in my cell I was bi-curious and that I had been with a TS person once. He called me a bum boxer and referred to me as being gay. But yeah, so what? That is basically subjecting me to discrimination.

You're right. It is unhealthy. I did have a major crush on these two women, but they overreacted. What if they had just gotten a senior to talk to me? Could that have settled any animosity? The split between us was forced, and therefore not amicable. They were not like all the other nice workers (male and female) that left on good terms with me after their time at the agency had ended. What these seniors did was the polar opposite of what trustworthy caregivers should have did. They even had the nerve to say they were still my workers after they were removed from my team. Of course, I confronted them over my suspicions about firstly Joanna then Sara, and they continued to lie. Some people on the autism website Wrong Planet actually think it was their professional duty to mislead me, for their own safety. But I disagree. Sara was my key worker. Joanna was one of my support workers. While they have no obligation to me as people, they should have understood I was hurting from what Laura did to me and yes, had their bosses pull me aside to explain the rules more clearly and had I scared them again, that would have been grounds for their removal. In other words, they should have giving me a fair chance and just reported me had something similar occurred again. They never did this. Rather, they had their bosses cut the rope right away and I think they had a really hard time telling me the brutal truth. Yet if I messed up in response to their lies, they tried to use my behavior as to why they were not working with me, so I was baited to blow up. That is very cold. It is the same thing as manipulation. That is not counting all the times they got the police, then they would claim they did not know they searched for me or arrested me afterwards. I've got no idea what Robert said to Sara (when he was a grass way back) and sure, maybe he had to speak up as it is his job to inform his colleagues about a breach of the boundaries, but it just made her totally turn against me. Sara was the nicest lady when we first worked together, and this was in 2013. She started working there in 2012 and missed the Laura stuff completely, although she was copied into it later on. As support workers, they should not have acted in this manner. They should receive better training too. I was lonely and unable to get another girlfriend. I could not even get laid. I wasted hundreds of pounds on escorts, and they threatened to throw me out if I confessed any had been in my flat. It never really fulfilled my sexual desires. Laura was also someone I obsessed over for years, after we met in 2005. Then all she did when I found her was use me for my benefits. Just to prove how deceptive they are, they said no pets were allowed at the accommodation, yet two former neighbors of mine who are women, both had cats. So while I was banned from that flat / street, I was told they had decided to allow pets provided you could show you could care for a pet. That was just wonderful news. Why would that apply to me when I was not there any longer? It was like deliberate torture. Plus, I called The TLC Trust (a sexual rights advocacy group) and they changed their tune about me in a heartbeat using escorts. However, I was also not at the flat at the time. Deep down, they just wanted to be control freaks and define my whole life for me. By speaking my mind, I was "disrupting" the flow of things, at least in their view. So anybody like that is a nuisance and they got rid of me swiftly. Also, I was telling the truth about that Patrick guy as well. He really did create a false name and use Gumtree to send me abusive emails over Laura and other subjects, like 80's music. However, no one really cared that he was doing this despite me bringing it up. That guy should never have been allowed to work there. It is highly inappropriate for a caregiver to play games with people like myself, who require support. Charlie, what would you have done if Patrick had did that to you?

Well, I tried to post a longer reply to you, but when I went to the 'More Reply Options' bit below, it went all messed up and all my text was lost. Anyway, as to what you wrote, I reckon it's half their fault, and half my fault for how I reacted to their lying. The agency never even attempted to handle things right, so it got progressively worse as it was hard to accept they were suddenly in my life then not part of it. Well, they did a lot of other things that were deceitful, like when this Patrick pretended he knew my then girlfriend, Laura. Although I guess if i.e a guy sent me nasty emails pretending he knew my ex, that is not the fault of the agency as a whole, yet they were made aware of it and never intervened when they by law needed to look into what he was accused of doing. But yes, they were never trustworthy people. That is why I am uncertain about going to another company for support.

Yeah. I have giving up on them due to the treachery with Autism Initiatives. I've just gotten out of jail for a whopping fourth time, too. The keys on my mother's laptop are very sticky, so apologies if this posting is a bit of a mess. Anyway, I had to be in court on 15 September, but I never went. It was because I was left feeling depressed after finding out my former key worker left that agency which supported me from 2008 to 2014 after I quit my support. Ultimately, all this anguish I went through was over Sara and Joanna no longer working with me, but it all amounted to zero in the end. Ending my support was a decision I made due to their deceptive actions, and the court forbid me to access my flat at the supported accommodation the company has, and I was eventually coaxed to sign away the tenancy earlier this year. You cannot trust this company. And because the court favored them, it gave them more and more reasons to screw me over. Apart from that, the police come 5 days before my court date regarding something that occurred in May, and I ran off before they could detain me. That unexpected visit along with my supervisor trying to perhaps land me in hot water with a court report pretty much killed my desire to go. Besides, I was afraid to go for obvious reasons. As to how I got to be in court recently: I was requiring a medical form from my GP. I have no idea why they don't just keep paying in my money like before, where signing forms was not needed. But anyway, I went there, right? Then I just got shafted. Obviously the fuzz had put the word out. The surgery got the cops to show up after I arrived. There was 4, maybe 5 officers. The next day in court, I was opposed bail for one incident but granted bail for 2 other charges. I'd also broken my curfew due to the police scaring me off. I am supposed to be indoors after 9 PM, but they would have kept coming back like herpes to arrest me over that older incident, so I went to hang around in a dell past the western area of Edinburgh. Yeah. It was a really annoying situation and it was hard to get any rest. I'd been at my sister's a lot but then I got kind of worried they'd show up. Just before I was taken to the dock, I was subjected to an assault in one of the holding cells. All I did was let it slip I was previously on protection, then this guy assumed I was a "beast" and kicked me full force in my eye. And I wear glasses. They got bent. I'm luckily able to say I was not blinded in that eye. The police come to deal with the matter and could not really do anything about him even though I think they believe I was attacked. They need evidence. The usual nonsense. The other men in the cell refused to confess he attacked me. Luckily, I was only remanded in jail for 3 days. It was not a pleasant 3 days, however. They put me (probably on purpose) in a cell with this hyper guy. He kept talking about 'secret coding' and annoyed me all the time. He put this buttery stuff on my glasses, threatened to set me ablaze, kept stabbing me with pens, drew obscenities on me, vandalized my duvet and ate my food. Yeah, he was a proper jerk. He went to court hours before I got bailed last Monday. I'd been worried that I was going to be fully committed again. Usually that is what happens when you are remanded for a week. You go back up in front of a panel and the procurator fiscal has you fully committed, so being bailed between hearings is not possible. I contacted The Action Group about going to them for support, but they said that since I have not had any type of support in a year, I would probably need to be assessed again. Plus, there was a bank account I used before to pay invoices and that would have to be set up again. To tell you the truth, I am so disheartened by what Autism Initiatives put me through that I'm thinking of trying to get my story published in the media. The first time I was jailed was in July of last year, for 2 weeks. I was opposed bail following 2 more arrests (for apologizing on Facebook) and was in jail for another 17 days in September of 2014 and I was assaulted in my cell. This year, they fully committed me pending a trial for the same thing (me largely apologizing) and I was stuck in prison for months. They also carted me off to Glasgow and I spent the majority of my time there with a couple of paedophiles, one of whom was this incredibly cheeky younger guy from England. I'd been on my own for weeks until a really lovely older man come in. In a few weeks thereafter, I was bailed on 18 August. But really here - I went through all this pain just because I wanted redemption with my beloved ex support personnel. When I occasionally call Number 6 in Edinburgh, they all just act stupid and do not care that I was jailed. I advise others not to trust caregivers. They would much quicker sell you down the river than give you the help you need. Peter.

I sometimes think my issues all started in 2002. The Internet, my ex, my support people, the pigs. It has been an awful year for me. 2015 has not been a happy year in the least. My friend is in jail now as well.

I'm done fighting with trolls on forums. While it is satisfying to say things back, that's kind of what they aim for. The best thing to do really is not respond. Use blocking facilities and don't display your contact info. That way they cannot message you unless they already know your e-mail address. Also, don't use the same user name on every website you want to join as it's easier for the bullies to follow you around. With things like Facebook too, set everything to private.

Mihaela, you should come to Edinburgh to visit me!

I'm finished with support workers, due to the fiasco they caused for me. I think you should be wary of being betrayed by yours, if anybody has any.

Yes. In May. This will explain my absence from the boards. That also makes the third (and hopefully, final) time in the fun house. I still feel so angry and fed up over the loss of my caregivers and my supported flat, that I sent letters to my former key worker's partner to say that it was all a major misunderstanding. As usual, nobody cares how I feel and the impact losing Sara and Joanna has on me. All they did was contact the pigs again. You may remember I once spoke of how I was deceived into declaring away the tenancy at the accommodation Autism Initiatives has, after having been forced to stay away from there since July of last year. I knew Sara's address because the PF or someone had it down on my bail terms (not the full address, though) and I followed a trail on Facebook. I avoided the police for 2 weeks. They actually arrived to get me in May, WHILE my mother, my sister's ex and I were taken my things into the house. Because I seen them, I got over the back fence and I did not get arrested all the way until 21 May, but I had no place to go. There was a time where I attempted to re-book myself into a cheap hostel, but I nearly got shopped by a worker in there who tried to trick me into taken a room. Just before my arrest, I saw my original key worker from several years back, called Pam. We went for a cup of tea after I seen her at a bus stop, but I am aware that she has MS now. She uses a motor wheelchair, so that confirms that she's more or less retired. When I was in court on 22 May, my bail was opposed. I went to 'Saughton' in Edinburgh. A week later in court, the PF had me fully committed. In the UK, I think that is 110 days. The protection wing was full in my local jail, so I received a transfer unexpectedly on 5 June. They sent me to Barlinnie which is in Glasgow. Because I was fully committed, until quite recently, I was not able to be bailed between court hearings, and it was beginning to drag being in the slammer. They put me in this E-Hall, which is full of perverts. As to why I got the transfer: I was told that 'due to the nature of my offence', I was going to Barlinnie. Yesterday, I had to see my supervision officer for a court report (again). I don't know how many of these reports the court requires, but I'm sick of this. Just before I was sent to prison, I obtained an advocate but then I think they were made aware of my circumstances and put me back on the waiting list. My lawyer even had the nerve to say before that there may be no other place for me other than jail. And I doubt he's gonna help me sue the agency for being deceitful. Where is my proof, too? The supervision officer I have to see will need to see me until October of 2016. I'm due back in court on 15 September. My life is pretty much ruined. I still yield much resentment, and I don't want to screw up my life anymore. But I hate this guy. He chucks it in my face that this is my fault and accuses me of being racist, yet I've told him countless times that I was stitched up and anything I did, was due to my anger. That seems irrelevant to him. I just don't feel great at all. My parents' house is so messy. I broke one of my plastic boxes recently for putting my DVD's inside.

Ah, OK.