Clareo2003

Big Hugs i know how you feel..i too feel like this on numerous occasions, trying my hardest not to lose it with my son ..incase i go too far... yeah most of the times you can cope with it..but there are times when you just cant! Huge hugs i feel for you and my daughter is 16 and also quite often says she wishes my son wasnt here...unfortunately though which makes you realise..my son also wishes he didnt have problems either and quite often hits himself and screams that he hates aspergers!!

Good luck!!

Thank you everyone

We have got a statement and a place at a local Special school for children with MLD and Autism My son starts in September!! Finally after all these years he is going to be understood and taught in a way that he will be able to keep up with!! I am so happy!!!! I would just love to see his head of years face when he reads all the reports as he has always said zero tolerance and that my son only decided to misbehave in class when it suited him ect.

After 4 years.. 6 different pediatricians and mess ups..loss of referrals.. miss diagnosis ect we finally have a confirmed diagnosis My son does have Aspergers and Moderate learning disability! In fact developmentally and mentally he is that of a 7 year old and he will be 13 in March...no wonder he struggles with school so much!! Should hear from the LEA about his statement by the 1st Feb and all professionals have agreed so far that he is in need of a statement and special school...so fingers crossed on that one!!

About time!!! I have been trying to get people to listen for years!!! it only took them a week rather than the usual 6 weeks to decide too Lets hope this good news continues!!

I have not heard of one either but my son was diagnosed with Moderate learning difficulty by the consultant clinical psychologist. Good luck Clare x

Yeah my son has a home/school book and most new terms it needs reminding the school of getting him one. My son has to have his homework ect written down by the teachers as he is unable to copy correctly or to listen to teacher and write it down correctly. The teachers also write in there if Ty has had a bad day ect.. this is great for evidence!!

My 12 year old does not see the need to bath or brush his teeth or even to wash! Its a nightmare!! He also likes to wear his dirty clothes days on end! He thinks he can just spray deodorant all over his clothes and that makes him clean! If we do manage to get him in the bath he jumps in whilst the bath is running, splashes himself with water then gets out..all before the bath has actually run!! This is when my husband will then take him back to the bathroom and wash his hair ect and make him wash

Wahoo!!!! Well done!!!

Am in similar position with my son and his school. He is 12 years old and a level 2 in maths and english. i put in a request for stat assessment and it was turnt down to the schools poor report..all that was sent in was a piece of A4 paper with his name, DOB and address I had a meeting at the school with his paed, a autistic team, school nurse and senco and it was said that his reading age and spelling age had both dipped since being in their school. It was decided to get all reports together and the school would apply for assessment. This was in May and i am still waiting for them to move forward, senco say they are still getting all reports together!! Its disgusting that our children have to struggle like this and fail so badly when if the support was there then at least they would feel a little happier at school. Hugs and good luck!!

Yes same here my son is exactly the same!!

My meeting yesterday was quite positive although frustrating. I first spoke to the head of year about the supply teacher and there is now to be an investigation into the incident and then i had a meeting with the SENCO. She had asked her assistant to do Tyler's report and basically gave her a very brief summary ie name, DOB year group and lessons he has help in, well it appears that the assistant just sent that in!!!!!! No wonder it was such a poor report, it wasnt a report at all!! She apologised many many times and said that she would be on to immediately and then the school will re-apply for the assessment. So Phew thats sorted! It was a great opportunity for me to tell her of all the mess ups that this school has done since Tyler started the transition to their school. I also took a member of teh local NAS group with me for support and that helped!! She is also arranging a meeting me paed, head of year, class teacher, TA ect ect to all discuss the help that Tyler needs so i am waiting to hear from her on those details too. Her exact words were "Tyler has slipped through the net!!" so i said well lets hope from now on Tyler will get ALL the help needed to make school life more manageable!! So a step forward for sure i feel!! Anne thank you for your reply too, it is very frustrating that we all have to go through this with our children. I do document everything and i email and send a letter with any correspondence. I am looking to change my sons school but the pediatrician wants him to be statmented first as she feels he doesn't cope with the whole school situation and he may need a special school. So it wouldn't be worth transferring him to another mainstream school and all the same problems will be there still. Thanks everyone for replying

Hi Clare, i did just put in a parental request for a statement and that when the LEA told me it was rejected due to a bad school request to back mine up!! They stated that it is obvious by my request that i feel very strongly that my son needs a statement and advised me to go to school on Monday (they have been on 2 week holiday) and see the SENCO and ask her what on earth she is playing at. The LEA said that there wasnt even any mention of his behaviour on their report..yet i had just told them that he has been on report and always in detention and sent out of lessons on neumerous occasions. If the school make a better request and they re-apply she thinks we will get the assessment.

Thanks Mel so much for your reply, The school had ALL my sons notes and he even went for a special one day a week visit to the school with 6 other Special needs children before he started. But when i saw the SENCO she appeared to know nothing about my son or his dx!! When i spoke to the LEA about the assessment for a statement i did tell her the problems i have come across and she was in shock..so yes i agree i do need to take that further. My son is on 2 week holidays at the moment but i am all ready to take him to school Monday and will demand that someone comes talk to me about the supply teacher and whilst im there i will ask to meet with the SENCO again and ask her what she is playing at! Thanks again for taking the time to reply, ill let you know how it goes Monday. Clare x

Karen Thankyou for your advice

Well where do i start... My son is 12 years old and started secondary school in September. This school gave us the spill of what a great school it would be for my son ect ect and although it is 10 miles away we decided to send him there. He has AS and ADHD although his new pediatrician feels that he is just AS and anxiety disorder. Anyway he is struggling at school big time and the school have a real lack of understanding on his condition, they even didnt realise that he was special needs and on school action plus til 2 months into the year!! I actually had a meeting with the SENCO and mentioned AS and she hadnt realised he had a diagnosis of it!! Since January his behaviour has become worse and he has been sent out of alot of classes for disruptive behaviour and had alot of detentions ect His teacher calls me from home to ask me if i know why my son kicked off today or why was he so figety today ect My sons pediatrician is disgusted with the schools response and is planning a meeting with them to highlight the issues, and advised me to apply for an assessment for a statement which i did. I received the reply yesterday and they turnt the application down so rang them to find out the reasons. Well it appears that my request was very strong and showed that it is obvious to me he is in need of a statement but the schools request was very poor and behaviour was not even mentioned!!! They also said that it was clear that the school had not taken any advice from the Ed psych report that my son had in Yr 6. She suggested that i arrange a meeting with the schools SENCO and tell her what i have been told and ask her why her request was so poor ect The LEA said that if the school are willing to spend more time on writing their request and re-apply then she is pretty certain that My son will get an assessment. How frustrating is this!!! I have already said that i will be taking my son to school when they go back after the hols because the last day of term he was poked in the chest by a supply teacher and told that if the class had been empty that he would have pinned him against the wall!!!! I feel like i am constantly headbutting a wall i have had to fight and chase up everything since year 5 and getting him a diagnosis, we have had 5 different pediatricians due to retirement and stand-ins. Even his new pediatrician now is frustrated with the lack of support we have had. Sorry for the long rant but that school have done so much to annoy me in such a little time.. i want to move him from there but the pediatrician wants me to wait to get an assessment to decide what school would be best as she feels he is not coping with school life at all and this had been recognised since year 5. Clare x

Yay Dr called back and said its all not good enough and has now referred us to a paed that i actually know (i work with her on the neonatal network) she was also the consultant who looked after my youngest in the special care so i feel a little more hopeful of someone listening to me Clare x

Frazzled, we have all been there ...its so very very easy to lash out when things have got on top of us far too much!! Big Hugs Clare x

Hi Caroline thanks for your reply, the trouble we have is that he has seen 4 different pediatricians since November last year, due to retirements and temps sitting in, no one has actually had time to stick things out with us. We were refereed to Cahms, then i saw a family support officer who basically just tried to help out with ideas on how to tackle behaviours ect... she soon realised that we had tried everything and decided she couldnt really help us and signed us off!! I also keep a diary, out current stand in ped is awful she wrote a report after seeing her last time and she basically had written the opposite of everything i had to say so i had to write a letter of complaint and she re-did her letter with apologies!! I can only continue to pester!! Thanks again and good luck with getting your help Clare x

I emailed my sons Gp last night in desperation that someone will give me some advice. He is calling me at 2 pm but im not even sure he will be able to help! Im just having one of those moments when i am not sure what to do. My son over the last couple of months has been getting increasingly more aggressive, defiant and spends most of the time shouting at us all, we went for a walk on sunday and he ran on ahead laid down on teh path with his feet dangling into the road, cars were having to drive around his feet yet he still carried on kicking his feet and rolling about! I managed to get him up on his feet and so then he started hitting his sisters boyfriend, so i had to restrain him and walk some distance with him trying to get me off him. He has been hitting out at us quite a bit recently and even kicked his dad. He has always shown aggression to his younger sister but it has been very mild He has started swearing and singing made up rude songs..but its almost like he is doing it to get a reaction from us? I just feel that he is getting worse to handle and he was hard enough before! he is on Risperdol to try and help him from his anxieties but to be honest he is showing them more lately and even putting the worries into my 3 year old who is becoming scared of the smallest of things and its all things that my son comes out with. I just really dont know what we are meant to do to help him and to keep the rest of the family sane. He wants to be like any other 11 year old and go out to teh park ect but how can i let him do this when he cant walk safely with me let alone what he would do if i wasnt there to tell him to stop the things he does. he has also tried to drown himself and tried to run away Any one have any words of wisdom?? Clare x

My son (11 years old) has been on it for 9 mnths (o.5 mg x 2 daily) and it helped a little bit with the tossing and turning all night and it did help his anxieties. Lately though he has become aggressive, hard to control again and swears all the time, he worries about every little thing again and basically seems to be getting worse again not better at all. I think that maybe another visit to the Drs is due Anyone else experienced this?? Clare x

Pebbles, stones, acorns , decorative stones

My son goes to a youth club just for Autistic children and he does enjoy his time there too. I think that our children's worries and attempts to harm themselves should be looked at and supported more by the professionals!! They seem to shake their heads and note these things but what do they actually do to try and reassure us that our children will never 'actually' harm themselves successfully. The answer i think is that no one can guarantee that, our children need help in manging there emotions and feelings, in the meantime, us as parents have to have our heart ripped out each time our baby says " Im going to do drown myself/jump out of the window, tie something around my neck ect ect" Big Hugs to everyone Clare x

I have a 13ft trampoline and enclosure in its box waiting to go up!! Please dont tell me its that difficult to put up haha