peppa

Despite the typical north east weather, we've had a nice day with dd, managed to dodge the rain really well fortunatley. We went to brewsters for lunch, 3 courses which i so shouldn't of had! Slimming world tomorrow!! It was heaving but dd coped remarkably well, she did bury her head into her jacket at one point and asked me to tickle her back, which really calmed her, i was so proud of her for self regulating as she said to me "i'm ok aren't i just stopping the noise out" as she puts it! Bless her. After eating we took her in to the play area, she enjoyed herself, but i wasn't keen on the design of the place as it meant that as soon as the child entered it, parents couldn't see them, so very hard to keep a check on her. Luckily she didn't stay in it for long and wanted to go to the outdoor area, they had a bouncy castle up for the day so dd was in her element out there! When we got in the car she was shattered, (had a few early starts lately) and said she wanted to go home, she was quite unsettled couldn't seem to get comfy think she was overtired by then, eventually she nodded off ( doesn't have naps anymore usually but defo in need of it today so didn't mind). She woke when we got home so had had half hour. She was very cuddley when got home and didn't want to get off my knee, other than to swap to her dads knee when i went to the toilet!! She started to feel really hot and when i took temp it was 38.6 so tried to get calpol into her, she ate all her tea, then dp bathed her, she screamed the place down for her dad. Then just wanted me to hug her, screamed when i went to dress her saying she was too hot, eventually settled her in bed and she dropped straight off but woke about an hour and half ago screaming saying she felt sick and her head hurt, i took her temp again and got cool flannel to put on her head as temp gone up to 39.5!! Got calpol into her and got her to have drink, she fussed about for a bit then has settled, and has been ok for last half hour, i'm disappearing off here in a min to go check on her as i'm concerned about that temp, if it hasn't gone down i'm going to ring the docs. Last time she had a temp like that she had measles! Despite having mmr! I've got shingles at the moment but feeling ok today, so i'm wondering if maybe she could be getting chicken pox as she aint had it yet, oh what joy!!! And to top it all my monthly arrived today!! So been a strange day really, glad she had good day to begin with, its so lovely when we can get out successfully as its really rare, finding that if we are to go out anywhere play centres work the best as she has the freedom to run around unrestricted and choose her own pace of play, usually shops or anywhere she has to queue, hold our hands etc are where she gets freaked out, fight or flight really. Anyway i'm naffing off to check on her, hope everyone else had good bank holiday xx Just read this back, i can't half ramble can't i!! Feel free to tell me to shut up!!!!!

Foes

Ah hun thats great news, long may it last xx

Found this really interesting, dd is almost 4, she has been doing something similar for the last few weeks. She keeps saying "you're a little" then adding any word on the end she can think of! Sometimes they aren't very pleasurable, such as little gay, or dozy cow and g*t, which i'm thinking she must have picked up from school, as they are not said at home, not to say i don't occassionally curse i'm only human! I've tried ignoring when at home which seems to work at times, i've also tried explaining that they aren't nice words to say and can make people sad which she kind of gets, but if in a meltdown wants to use them. But i've found the most effective is to give a substitute word, i've started saying "you're a little" princess, superstar, angel, beauty, rascal etc etc, basically anything that sounds "nice"! She now says a mixture of nice and not so nice words but is aware that i'm not pleased when she says a not so nice word and i just keep prompting her or reiterating the nicer words, i think we're making some progress. I think its a current obsession as she says something repeatedly about every ten minites. I've also read that the behaviour can not be stopped conciously, and that if theres a behaviour you would like to stop you need to give a substitute behaviour instead, it seems to be working for us anyway. Must admit though its something i hope is short lived! hope this helps best of luck x

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm livid for you this treatment is barbaric and most definatley a child protection issue, definatley needs persuing for the safety of your child and others, however i doubt i'd want to take my child back into that environment. I'd also want to find out if this is a isolated incident. How is your son after this incident? I really hope this hasn't traumatised you all too much. I'm sending you all the cyber support i can and hope this teacher in question is severley reprimmanded for her treatment of your son, in fact i don't think she should be allowed to teach if this is the way children in her care are treated! If this was my child i think i'd be taking this as far as possible and seeking legal advice. Im certainly sending you my support, let us all know how you get on. Loadsa luv xx

Hi David, I was wondering about getting her a helmet, i presume its something that the pead would arrange? Im trying to get hold of him at the moment but he's always on holiday!! I went to special needs night at our local wacky last night and a little boy there had one on, so maybe worth speaking to his parents, difficult subject to broach though without offending. I mentioned the possobility of this to dp a while back and he wasn't keen as he said it would single her out at school, but i think her safety is was matters. After seeing the state of her head tonight though he's changed opinion and thinks its a good option. Headbutting is something she does everytime she's stressed now, so is certainly becoming a big issue and cause for concern, so its something i need to push for help with. Portage worker is coming tomorrow so i'm hoping she can offer advice, she's also managed to chase up our elusive ed psych so that should also help. If not i'll try gp. Dd was talking about the boy at the wacky today ( they interacted rather well) and she refered to him as the boy with the hat, so it may not be seen as anything major by her peers. Hopefully someone here may know a bit more about them, and can suggest something? She's not good with hats, and has always stressed wearing them since being a baby, missed out on riding a pony as couldn't cope with the helmet, however did manage to get her to wear sun hat all last summer, so maybe just something i'd have to try. If i covered it in peppa pig stickers it might help persuade her!!! Hi buzylizzie100, My thyroid is up and down all over at the moment, i suppose i don't help myself though as i should be in bed now but i get on here and can't get off, its so addictive! I am feeling a bit rough at the mo though and keep nodding off all the time! The effect it has on my weight doesn't help cheer me up either! I too end up creeping in to dd when she's sleeping just to give her a kiss and kind of make a mends, quite often though she has turned and kissed me back, which is beautiful, but i then feel guilty for disturbing her! Think she's stressing at the moment as there is a few new starters in her nursery class, we had similar problems with her with this a while back, still waiting to get news of her moving to morning session with peers her age who she'll be in reception with, as all the kids she's with now won't be going till next september. Teacher did hint a while back that she would join morning session after the may holiday but weve only got tomorrow and nothing has been said so i guess nothing is happening. I'll ask tomorrow, 'eck they'll be sick of me! Anyway better stop waffling now (im quite good at it) and get to bed! thanks guys xx

So so pleased things worked out well for you, hope you're feeling much better today, take care hun xx

Its so good to hear other perspectives from people who understand and are going through the same thing. I spent an hour going through photos of dd this aft, really made me soppy, looking back at all the baby pictures! Was nice to get an hours rest though, helped me re-charge and i know i'm much better for it, my patience is stronger, which is just as well as dd came out of school nursery quite hyped, dp was rushing her into the car so he could get back to work ( he nips out for 10 mins to pick up dd with me as i don't drive YET) this made her really anxious and she lost it getting in the car as she was confused. Trying to explain this to dp is a lost cause though! Then when we arrived home on forecourt ( we live above family business) 3 of the staff came to the car fussing dd which really freaked her out, when i'd just managed to calm her! she scrambled out of the car and sat on the floor about to head butt the side of the car, i grabbed her and went up the stairs struggling then put her down on the decking so i could unlock the door, she then began headbutting the decking, i sat and managed to calm her quite quickly, but her head is in a right state! she has egg bruises all around it, ( still waiting to see pead about this!) God knows what damage she'd have done if she had headbutted concrete! After that though she was really chilled for the rest of the day, really polite and compliant and went to bed like a dream, its so nice when we get a good few hours, helps balance things. I know i must have been really stressed lately as i've had another attack of shingles, which always comes back when i'm stressed! 28 years old and this must be about the 10th time i've had it! Of to the docs tomorrow sort myself out!! Feeling much more posotive today though after receiving all the lovely replies, you really are a great bunch of people, :wub: , thanks everyone xx

Bard, your reply brouight tears to my eyes, you really helped me put things in perspective, its hard not to beat myself up about it when i lose my temper, but like you said we are only human. She woke up happy and smiley, and has been saying im her best best friend all day so guess i'm forgiven! I'm going to try and take a bit more rest today cause i think its tiredness that makes me snappy, off to pick her up from school in a min, missed her this afternoon and its only been two hours!!! Thanks again everyone xxx

Thanks guys you lot are great, don't know what i'd do without you all! Dp is giving me a hard time about writing on here about it! Wouldn't mind as much but he was nowhere in sight when it was all happening! Has hardly spent a minite with us all day, just lets me get on with it, theres no wonder i explode at times!

I lost it tonight, putting dd to bed and she kicked off, didn't want her hair brushed and kept doing a runner, then she started hitting and headbutting me, i was so disappointed as we'd had a lovely day just got in from the special needs session at our local wacky, (first visit there and we had a really lovely time) we were all so hyped i guess that things just kicked off. I'm so ashamed of myself though because i lost it and really lost my temper with her, i know we were both tired and i should have given her a little more lee-way, but because i had a bit of a headache i just flipped, i threw the hairbrush and it snapped, and i swore like a sewer dweller! i know i was a little bit rough getting her dressed as she was fighting against me, but im just so ashamed at the way i behaved, i feel like i deserve a good slap!! I feel like i ruined a good day, she got upset and ended up been sick as she balks when in meltdown. She climbed into bed sobbing. We did both calm down and she asked for a story, which i read and managed to make her laugh by being a bit silly, we then hugged and both said love you before i left the room. As soon as i closed the door she began singing, so guess she's ok, but i worry that she's going to have nightmares about me being so cross. I've been in to check her twice and she's fast asleep looking all peaceful but i still can't help feeling bad. I'm feeling constantly tired at the moment as i have an underactive thyroid which is playing up bigtime, medication is being increased, and i guess that makes my patience a little thin, but thats no excuse i am so ashamed at myself.

Really pleased you got answers at last, take time to let it sink in, loads of luv x

<'> >< <'>

My dd usually calls me mummy, but does call me mummat as an affectionate term. She also says "your called Clare aren't you, she does occassionally call me by my name but i do remind her that clare is my name but i'm her mummy so she calls me mummy. I also tell her that jessica is her name but she's my baby, so i call her baby sometimes aswell as jessica, i think she kind of gets it! Must admit i'm not keen on her calling me by my name, as she's the only one who can call me mummy and its kind of precious.

J started speaking at 7mnths and had a good vocabulary by a year old,( not always in context though), however the funniest thing i remember is when winding her at 8mnth she let out a huge belch, and shouted "Pardon"! She began walking at 15mnth but remained rather unsteady until approx 2yrs, now she runs and chatters all day!

Hi, welcome to the forum, its such a great place to come and get support and advice and just to have a good old chin wag!! Theres always someone here who understands, xx

Ahh thats so sweet, what a lovely opportunity for your son aswell. i hope he enjoys the lessons equally as much, xx

I read somewhere that children can often do this as they can be scared when seeing the poo as its something that they don't usually get to see,( nappies usually removed and discarded) and when witnessing something leaving their body it can be quite scary. It suggested letting the child see the contents of a dirty nappy occassionally, without making a fuss or making it seem like something dirty and saying something like "oo look you did a poo". I must admit although it sounded a bit odd i suppose there was some logic there. I tried this with dd from an early age and she didn't seem to care either way. It never was an issue when she was younger. Now, aghhhh!!! She started potty training and pooing quite happily on the toilet or potty then gradually a problem began and now she can go a fortnight without pooing, even on 15ml of lactolose daily! She seems unaware what to do when the sensation to go is there, and will shudder and cross her legs crouched on the floor, whilst emiting wind however if i sit her on the toilet nothing happens and she doesn't seem able to push it out, without being too graphic she has difficulty with muscles contracting. We are now on the waiting list for the constipation clinic. Physio came on friday and said dd does have low muscle tone and this may impact on her ability to toilet, but is only a possibility. I've read these problems can be common in ASDs and can be due to a number of reasons, however as you are only just a week into toilet training it sounds quite normal, it could maybe just be getting used to the sensation of sitting on a toilet or potty as apose to doing it in a nappy and may just take a little time to get used to the change, and routine of things, also as he is now more aware of bodily motions and the sensations rather than it just happening in a nappy without much thought, it could just be the newness of the bodily sensations and understanding what is meant of him. As you say though trying to explain to a child the need to give a little strain, is quite difficult to get across!! Maybe a kids potty training book with good, clear pictures may help? I wish you the best of luck, sounds like your'e off to a good start with wee's. I hope its a problem quickly solved for you, and just something that needs a little time.xx

Im a little confused now, dd's diagnosis was written as, (High Functioning Autism: I.e Aspergers Syndrome). I was told she was given this diagnosis as although she was an early talker, her understanding of language is delayed, as after about a three or four word instruction she struggles to understand. Also her use of language is often jumbled. However her SALT, senior SALT and SEN teacher believe she may fit a diagnosis of AS more so, based on intelligence? But say as she's only 3 a diagnosis of AS isn't usually given until 5 ish? I feel the diagnosis of HFA is possibly more appropriate to her as although she has a very good vocabulary for her age, and can hold a conversation to a point, she quite often uses irrelevant words, and does have difficulty understanding the flow of language sometimes, e.g (does not understand "why") I also didn't think intelligence was relevant? When speaking to pead about this he said he believed HFA and AS are the more or less the same, hence the wording of the diagnosis. Im confused??

Oh my word the way you have been treat is discusting!!!!!!!! I hope the letter has some posotive effect. Up to now dd's school are great,but she is only in nursery so time will tell Best of look for a more posotive future xx

I'm also in a similar position with dd, she is 4 in july, she also in meltdown often needs restraining, and its becoming really difficult, she's tall and thin but amazingly strong. Health visitor estimated she'll be between, 5'8 and 5'10 as an adult and i'm only 5'5 so i'm also worrried about the future if i'm struggling now! I was shown a restraining technique at dd's JET group but that doesn't really work with her as she's a little houdini! So i'd also be very intrested to hear any ideas. I hope you find some answers, and things improve for you x

OO Im up for it Bastille Day is my birthday!

Aww what a wonderfully brave boy, that must really have took some doing, big up for him xxx

Ah hev, you don't deserve all this struggling, when you do your best for your children its desbicable that you have to fight all the way for everything. You have done everything you can for steve, its the proffs and services that need a kick up the behind. Were finding already were having to chase everybody to get anything done, and thats only a couple of months after diagnosis, its frustrating me so i can only imagine how frustrated you must be feeling. Maybe all us members on here should join forces and storm parliment! Try and get something posotive done. I hope your feeling bit better now, i know how hard it is to grab a minite to yourself but its only doing that that keeps me sane, i never knew just sitting for five minites with a cup of tea would become such a luxury. If i could send you a box of chocs and a bottle of wine to cheer you up i would, hope a cyber one will compensate take care hope things looking up in the morning x

Thanks again les, she's been asking me today what number i am, so seems she's kind of grasping this, definatley going to persist with this, think i'll use your suggestions to make some pictures also with the numbers on them, should help reinforce it. Had a suprisingly good day today, i offered her a choice of three outfits, she chose then asked for her dad to get her dressed, (unusual) but it worked and she got dressed like a dream! So i'll try the same tomorrow and see what happens. Had JETS group today and the team there are going to try and chase up ed psych, due to recent behaviours, she hasn't seen dd yet so they are going to try and speed things up a bit. Fingers crossed. Also tried again to contact pead and see whats happening regarding appointment which is due within the next couple of weeks, i was told the appointment is actually end of june but it has been cancelled because pead on leave, and it will now be end of july, beginning of august time! I asked if there was any chance of seeing him before then and was told a flat no! I asked about just speaking to him and was told he's on leave for the next two weeks and to try phoning back when he returns!! :wallbash: . So frustrating! Rang portage 5 times each time it just rang and rang, so will try again tomorrow, so glad i've got all the special people on here to advise and support its a godsend x <'> ><