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Small update - this woman has (and I am amazed by this as I had mentally let it go) been located. She was arrested and cautioned yesterday. I'm satisfied by this. I didn't want her hung drawn and quartered but I did want to feel that there were consequences to her actions (and she said my ds hit her ds over the head with a toy which is absolutely untrue). My boys have had an exciting night with police officers calling (I'm praying this doesn't end up in G's news book! It was open day yesterday and there was a full length drama about 'Mammy's Car Crash' and another one about 'Mammy's nicotine gum' )

I think it's repeated very late tonight ...

On our statement it simply says 'G will recieve full time support on a 1:1 basis' I'm happy with this. It also says that the support assistant will recieve training in Autism Spectrum Disorders and that 'G will have 1:1 support on any school visits or activities outside school (trips, future swimming lessons etc) which were felt to be appropriate to him with consideration to be given to modifications if necessary to assist his participation.' Our speech therapy bit is ###### and says he needs to maintain his progress in certain speech sounds and talking more slowly and that his progress will be monitored at 6 monthly intervals. This is Speech Therapy's fault not the LEAs as Speech Therapy wrote a 3 sentence out of date report on him. Hopefully they've done a new one now (although they've decided he's too uncooperative for 1:1 therapy, grr if they got to know him and how to handle him it wouldn't be such a ordeal) which will be added.

My little one is a nightmare for this and never had antibiotics or capol ever - it always came straight back up even with 2 of us holding him (3 sometimes when my Mam would come to help when he was really ill) The only solution I've found is sneaking it into drinks - harder with antibiotics and calpol I know but the only way I'd get anything down him. At the minute he has antihistamine in a small amount of fresh juice and lactulose in water at night. Only a small drink so I'm sure most of the dose gets drank. Bribary simply doesn't work - he can't see past taking the medicine to the promised reward so that might depend on how well R understands. If I even let slip that there's medicine in his drink he will refuse to drink it also so I just offer him juice with no mention of medicine. He is improving a weeny bit as he gets older (he's 3 and 3/4) - he actually had some calpol yesterday for a tummy ache. Ben the bunny had to have some first however as he had a tummy ache too!

I haven't personally had it for my son but apparently you can get slow release melatonin which presumably would have a longer lasting effect. Or if he's been prescribed 4 x 2mg you could give him the 2 you've been giving him at the usual time and 1 or 2 x 2mg at 2 when he wakes. Maybe experiment between that and giving him the whole 4 x 2mg dose at once? Good luck - waking bright and eager to go at 2am is not fun! My little one was prone to this for a while.

Thank you for your reassurance everyone. The police have rang today and they haven't found her so it looks like that's that. I did get a flower delivery from Greggs with beautiful flowers and best wishes which really touched me as none of this was their fault. The woman is barred from the shop and the police have give them a number to ring if they see her again in the square (I can't see arresting her being a major priority however). I did wonder about the stress thing Emum, especially as she said that her little boy wasn't well. However a part of me thinks I have been in a number of extremely stressful situations with my 2 and I'd never hurt someone. I wasn't remotely nasty or aggressive or provocative to this woman. I have tried hard to see the other side and possibly will change my views in the future (I am usually a softie) but at the minute the fact stands that I was punched in front of my 3 yr old son who was frightened and I'm not happy about that. As I say my feelings might change when I've got over the shock and if there was a particular reason why this woman snapped. I doubt we'll ever know.

I was in Greggs yesterday with my little one (3 and allegedly nt but we're having some problems with him atm). As I was being served I turned away and turned around to discover that my L had hit the child in the queue next to us (about 2 in a buggy). His mum was really displeased, child wasn't crying or anything and I apologised and chastised L. L later said child hit him first but I'm not sure how truthful he's being or even if the child's possibly just touched him and L's lashed out. Apologised again but the other Mum was still very unhappy and said he wasn't well. She said she can't wait to move to Spain where there's normal people - I pointed out that I had apologised and L is 3 years old. She flipped and started shouting and screaming in my face then punched me in the face. She then charged out of the shop and barged her buggy into another mother with a baby in a buggy in the doorway (shop was crowded and doorway was blocked by the queue). This mum said she only had to say excuse me, the woman who hit me then ran back into the shop and began punching this other mother who had a toddler and a small baby. This mother declared she wasn't starting with her and wrestled her to the ground. Greggs staff come rushing out and break them up. We were taken into the back and the police were called and while we were waiting apparently this woman who had left came back with a friend and was waiting outside the shop. The police took statements and apparently someone matching this woman's description has been picked up so hopefully they will ring today and say they got her - I missed their call yesterday. In one way I know this is just a random crazy event but in another way I'm really shocked that my little one's behaviour got me a punch in the face. I was already losing confidence going out with him as he's so unpredictable - and will hit or run onto roads. I'm fine physically (had a nosebleed yesterday) but am shaken. Just needed to share. I don't know whether to say anything to nursery as L was there and frightened and might say something today but I don't want them to think I'm a rough scary mother who gets into fights! I really said nothing to this woman apart from to apologise and point out perfectly calmly that L is 3!

I got our draft statement today, also for full time 1:1 - great feeling isn't it!

We have a capsules which I open to release the powder. This goes into water and seems to be tasteless as my fussy ds hasn't complained

It's very difficult emotionally I think when you first start - I felt similar when G started his and he fell asleep within 5 minutes on the sofa (unheard of!). But without it we are all exhausted - G can't be left alone so I'd be stuck upstairs for hours and like your son sometimes he got upset because he just couldn't get to sleep. I think G was about 5 when we started too - before then he had severe eczema and was on vallergan for the itching at night (he'd rip himself to bits) so this masked the problem. I felt very sneaky and even worse because it was such a relief when he slept without all the fuss and crying and up and down - so I felt guilty at being relieved. G is still on 2 ml, he could probably do with a higher dose these days as bedtime is creeping up again but I'm hanging off on this low dose as long as possible (I'm terrified that by the time he's older we'll have no-where to go dosage wise) Enjoy the respite - ours was partly given to us for this reason as G is himself doesn't seem too badly affected by a lack of sleep but the hospital said we did need some time in the evenings to ourself.

My son started primary school part time (the other children did too but my son's part time lasted till October half term). I was upset at the time, he wasn't diagnosed at that point. It did get over with and he was fine but I remember feeling very upset and hurt at the time as well as worried about what impact this would have on his friendships with other children / him standing out etc. Hope you find some resolution (and enjoy your term time holiday! We still go on holiday in term time as it's too busy at any other time!.)

Actually in this day and age of extreme Health and Safety there were some bits that were a wee bit surprising (heads were banged). It was fun though!

Thanks everyone - we had a lovely evening and it only started to rain heavily near the end. It wasn't too busy with being closed to the public either. G was a wee bit hyper and complaining at the beginning but settled. There was one thingy where you drive dumper truck around a bumpy track and I had to go on with him as he wasn't tall enough - we nearly fell out completely. He drives like a lunatic and everytime something went wrong I got shouted at! Little one loved it too apart from one bumpy ride. He went on one big digger that swung around like a roundabout quite high and fast (surprised he was allowed on actually but he's tall for 3) and loved it. It was quite good even for an adult I'd say David. I enjoyed it!

Thank you for your reassurance - I'm calmer now and am going to ask to see the head tomorrow. It seems to me that we have 3 issues: The extra things being stopped The trip And transition for next year (Good thinking Bard!) I'm not sure which order to start - would you mention the things being stopped, lack of communication then go onto the trip and the meltdown on Friday? A letter would be easier for me to explain things in but I'm thinking presenting them with a letter before having a word looks too formal (we've previously had a good relationship with school). Brooke - I was thinking about your son as I remembered he's recently moved to a unit. I know you posted that he's picked up swearing - does the good side outweigh the negatives? Did he settle well? George changed schools and started this one in January in Y1 due to the first school's negative attitude and I'd have been happy for him to go to a unit then but we were told he couldn't as he didn't have a statement and he didn't need a unit. Now people are mentioning the unit and I'm reluctant as it took him almost a year to settle and it was a very difficult time - I think there's only so many moves he should be expected to cope with

We're off to Diggerland today (well tonight really) with the County Durham Autistic Society. Really excited and haven't told the boys yet. Hoping that a) the forecast heavy showers hold off and that we actually find it! Has anyone been?

My little one wasn't so bad until he turned 3, now he's extremely difficult, unco-operative and contrary with huge tantrums, soilng and wetting. I don't know. On one hand he obviously copies ds#1 right down to the 'yeah, yeah blar, blar' attitude but it does worry me. Bless them though, they do have a lot to put up with and I feel that this should be recognised.

Ds#1 is 7 (AS) and in Y2. His teacher went sick in May and since then the class has had a huge variety of supply teachers and now a proper teacher part time and supply teachers the rest of the time. Everything has gone pear shaped! I don't know where to start. He's been on about a trip now for over a week and how the teacher needed parents to come too - I said I would come if I could get his little brother looked after (depends on my Mam and dp's shifts), mentioned this to the teacher a few days ago but she didn't really answer apart from to say that G's support worker will be coming. I asked again today as I can tell that this is a really big issue for G and was told that she already had enough parents but would put me on the reserve list. I also noticed that G's 'safe area' (curtained off area of the class) which he's had all year and absolutely relies on had been removed - no one had mentioned this to us. I told G then and there about the trip (the longer he thought I was coming the bigger a fall it will be) and he instantly went into meltdown and ran out screaming. I followed him and he was hysterical at the thought of other mothers coming when I can't. Even though we were going to the cinema it took half an hour to get him out of school and I started crying too mostly because of sheer frustration and his 'area' going was the last straw (bad move as now I look like I can't cope). Teacher came and looked out of the window at us with another teacher and disappeared. Thanks for that. G had a number of things to help, including a visual time table, reward scheme, home-school book (vital!) and his area. They've all stopped. We've just been given a statement for him (awaiting the amended proposed statement just now) - with all of the above specified! Three weeks ago he had a door slammed accidently on his hand. No one mentioned that he'd been upset at school (he said cried then spent the rest of the afternoon in his area and was upset) and it wasn't until 6pm that via a chance comment of G we noticed his finger was badly swollen and bruised. Took him to A&E the next day and the bone in his finger was actually cracked. I went in and expressed my concern - it was all put down to a supply teacher, they were very apologetic and I asked (for the third time) that the Home-School book be reinstated. Three days later it was put in his bag with one comment and it has been ignored ever since - it's patently obvious that no-one reads it as I've asked questions and there's nothing. Apparently at school he's been fine but at home we are having big problems - he's so explosive, his stammer (he had when he was 5) is back, so shouty and angry. It's the lack of communication and the sheer frustration that they are simply not getting the basics. On previous trips or special assemblies and the like, we were warned and had really good communication with the class teacher over how best to work it. Am I expecting special treatment over the trip? G is refusing to go now (and he's not going back to school on Monday he says) I know I can't go every time, physically I couldn't but because they were all asked to ask their parents originally, now G can't comtemplate other mothers going but not his - I feel that with better communication we could have avoided this situation? Feeling a bit like a pushy mother expecting 'special' treatment, please be honest in your views....I'm so unassertive I didn't really say anything to the teacher at the time. I also feel like giving up on mainstream and putting him in the unit - however I'm not totally convince that is the right place for him either. Presumably though I wouldn't need to explain everything again and a-######-gain.

I think this is starting to happen with my ds who's 7. Last night he was up until 11pm saying he was hot (he didn't feel hot and had ben fine all day). He wondered aloud what would happen if he still felt hot this morning. This morning his first words were 'I'm hot', he was fine got ready, got to school and ran around like a loony then just as the bell rang he decided he was hot again and wasn't very happy he was getting sent in to school. I gave him calpol just incase but I'm pretty sure he felt a bit hot last night and wondered if it would get him a day off school. It's really difficult - I don't want him to learn how to fake illness and I'm always worried incase he is genuinely ill. I tend to judge by watching him, like in the yard this morning. It's also in my mind that there might be a genuine reason - unrelated to illness - why he can't face school. I myself was the worlds worst faker of illness as a child, my Mam was pretty soft and I did ok, it didn't affect my exam results at all even though my attendance was appalling. Some days the thought of school was just too depressing although usually when I did get there I was fine, it was more the idea of it that the reality. I would do work at home though which my ds wouldn't and you say your lad won't which makes missing school matter a bit more. In the case of missing Scout Camp, it's a shame. It does sound as though he had got himself into a bit of a state about it. Was it last minute nerves do you think? Was he looking forward to it originally?

Bit worried by that article saying it can affect sex organs and that only 0.5mg twice a week is recommended for children. I was under the impression melatonin was pretty safe. Too tired tonight but will have to do some googling I think..

I don't think his reactions are that unusual if he's been blamed for things he hasn't done or not listened too when he tries to tell. My son would flip too - he sees things in black or white and if someone had broke a model of his (even by accident, he wouldn't understand 'accidents') he would feel that he had to do something. If the teacher said something hadn't happened and it had, he would flip too - it's the injustice of it all! Glad he's being assessed finally, it must be very upsetting having him treat as a naughty boy (this happened with ds#1 in his first school).

My son is holding his own academically (underachieveing but average) and has just been given a statement. His main problems are social and behavioural. He's in a mainstream primary with full time one to one support (well it will be when the statement is finalised) and coping but senior school is a whole different ballgame. I'd say there's no harm in trying - for years we were told my son doesn't need a statement but he's got one.

Hi Caroline From your posts in the past your son has often sounded similar to mine! We had similar to this from Reception to Christmas in Y2, not every morning but often enough to be soul destroying. I found the slightest thing would set G off on the way to school (or in the morning) - sometimes something as simple as dropping a stone he'd picked up on route. It seemed to set him off and his first reaction to any 'problem' however minor was 'I'm not going to school'. We'd often have scenes that you've described, I'd had the hood ripped off my coat before and it would only end by a teacher physically holding him while I ran, very distressing for all involved. In the end they said they weren't allowed to do this anymore and then I was really stuck. Things have gradually improved, he's 7 now and near the end of Y2. It's not 100% but lots better, to me it seemed like a very acute separation anxiety. Distraction worked sometimes but was never totally reliable either. At the end I had to sit in class until G decided to calm down and was able to let me leave which was fun (he'd kicked a teacher once when I left so I wasn't allowed to just go), once I got as far as the car and was called to take him home - which I felt was giving the behaviour a positive reward but it couldn't be helped I suppose. I'm sorry this isn't much help but I do know how you feel and how it feels that every thing is spiralling downhill rapidly - in our case it did get better. As for the diagnosis being questioned I'd tell your consultant! I'm sure she'll appreciate having her professional opinion questioned like that. I think putting doubts in the air like that must be unbearable, even if you're sure yourself in the diagnosis it must be very worrying having it potentially questioned as you'll be worrying if other people are going to agree with CAHMS.

My son was terrible until he was about 5. In the end barbers refused to cut his hair and we resorted to doing it at home with clippers with a video on and me feeding him sweets while Daddy did the hair (terrible parenting!). He did get better gradually as he got older and more able to understand. He still fidgits and occasionally shouts or says inappropriate things to the Barber but on the whole there's a vast improvement (he's 7 now). I'm going through this all over again now with ds#2 (3 3/4)!

That sounds fascinating, I'd love to see if G has any visual 'things' going on that we're not aware of and your new glasses sound great too Well done on being assertive with the guy on reception! Forgetting the melatonin is the thing I have anxiety dreams about for weeks before we go on holiday!

Behavioural problems at the minute - he needs watched more than ds#1 does these days when we're out! He's unpredictable and will hit, push babies over or throw things. Sometimes with a loud noise his hands go over his ears, other times he will ask Daddy to turn the music up! He'd headbang as a baby and only ate fishfingers and rice cakes until he was about 2 1/2, he was also a nightmare to stop breastfeeding and was fed till he was 2 though so that might explain that. He was a bit funny about wet things / dirt on his hands as a toddler. He's like 2 seperate people - one sweet and social and chatty and the other hates everyone (he says), will try and bite, tanrums over things being 'right' for example not having the blue plate, he wants me to put his shoes on not Grandma, or today he dropped something in the car so to placate him I said I'd stop in a safe place, but I drove home (we were only a few minutes away) then he had a huge tantrum because we were home and not in a 'safe place' - things like that. No querky obsessions like G had as a baby (washing machines, fans, lampshades), he does make eye contact. I think when I get a minute I might look over my old posts as you forget things don't you?