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I appealed our lower mobility rate on the grounds that G had 'severe behavioural problems' and 'severe mental impairment' (their criteria)I then looked at the DLA definition for 'severe behavioural problems' and 'severe mental impairment' and explained exactly how he met those. At first when they looked at it again they said no because G has no learning difficulites. I wrote again pointing out that a very good vocabulary and some good scores in other theoretical tests was all very nice but practically speaking (to give one example, I did give many) he thought a pensioner / toddler brushing past him had hit him (this is a common problem for us) and will try to hit them etc. Yes he can recite amazing facts about Star Wars but he has picked up a brick as we passed a building site and thrown it into a busy road to see what will happen. He's ran out in front of cars because he became distracted. We won on appeal

We've been offered a 3 bed house In a nice enough area (still scary moving as we're in a very small, 'safe' feeling, village like estate now) with 3 beds and wait for it...a downstairs toilet! I'm so chuffed and panicking! Ridiculously the tenancy will start on Monday (we only viewed it today) which is going to be expensive as it will mean paying 2 lots of rent as there's no way we could do it that quickly. G (my 7yr old with AS) who I expected to be a problem, loves the new house (it has cupboards, he loves small spaces, haven't broke the news that I'll be filling them yet ) and my NT 3 yr old is the one worrying about moving. He wants to 'stay in number one six'. Mind you this child gets upset if we move as much as a picture on the wall. Dp is fretting and not very keen but has agreed we will take it. We have so much to move - last time I moved I had nothing! I don't even know where to start! The toilet is really the icing on the cake as I thought if we moved we have to see if there was somewhere to get one plumbed in. G really can't go to the toilet alone (frightened) and this has spread to ds#2 so I'm up and down to the toilet many, many times a day - nightmare when dp's on nights as we all have to go together (G is frightened to stay downstairs by himself) and they're so noisy. And it has an airing cupboard, I've really missed having somewhere to put the towels So much to do and the boys are off school this week and next.

Thank you Annie I might give them a ring as the evidence had to be in by March 13th (6 weeks after they decided to assess).

You apply and get 6 weeks to hear if you'll be assessed, we heard a day late on 31st January (deadline was 30th) So then is it 10 weeks until you hear if you are getting a statement or not (by my calculations we should have heard yesterday or today if they start from the date they actually gave the decision to assess) Would they write and tell us at this point? Then 2 further weeks to actually recieve the proposed statement if you're getting one? Is that right?

I asked my Gp for Beta Blockers after they were recommended by someone who had the same problem. I could drive fine but went absolutely to pieces during my test. I passed 3rd time (first with the Beta Blockers).

My little one went thought several stages of being terrified of the bath / refusing to get undressed when he was 2 and when just turned 3. Unlike your dd there didn't seem to be a particular trigger but he was really bad, absolutely hysterical at the thought of a bath for a time. Trying to think back I think we just went with it and didn't force him. Eventually he'd stand in the bath but wouldn't sit down so again we just let him do that and one day he did sit down in the bath again. He's absolutely fine now at 3 1/2. I've no idea what started his fear but it seemed to be a case of letting him take his time until his confidence built up again - it did take a long time and I did worry terribly. Maybe very gradual stages where she gets a wash with a flannel at bath time, then maybe washed with a flannel in the bathroom, standing in a dry bath (we have bath crayons to draw on the tiles, maybe something similar that's fun in a bath with no water in could build up her confidence?) etc That may be no use at all but I just wanted to reassure you that we've been there too and it did get better in time.

I bet if I'd mentioned that the Pirates in the story met R2D2 or Anakin Skywalker that would have got his attention!

Thank you all for the replies, there's some very useful stuff there. Mumble, I found the structured questions a good idea too and you're probably right there's other things causing the problem as well as lack of imagination. I think we also have very big attention problems which makes homework a long drawn out and stressful event (and getting worse as the work become more difficult) For example to even think of one sentence and write it down could take 20 minutes to an hour - he has the mind of a butterfly and very poor writing skills. He also objects strongly to homework at all then gets very cross doing it so nothing's right! He's even wise to me trying to sneak anything remotely 'educational' in - we've just been away for a week and I tried to make a little book of our week together, googling a map, getting photos and a little bit writing but he just wasn't interested and I ended up doing it all myself! I think I'm panicking a bit as the work does seem to be getting harder than he is capable of and takes so much longer than the time it should take. If it's this hard at 7 then I dread the future!

G is 7 and in Y2 and is beginning to get homework home that requires imagination - writing stories etc. He simply hasn't got a clue how to make something up and becomes very cross and upset. I've tried giving ideas but he won't accept my ideas ('the teacher doesn't want to hear your ideas Mammy, she wants mine') This is really worrying me as I can see the lack of imagination problem causing all sorts of bother as they are required to do more and more. Tonight we compromised by G writing out his name and address instead of the story (to make sure he actually did 'something' and he does need the handwriting practise) - now I'm worried the teacher will think I'm a bit mad! It's situations like this where I wish we were in a specialist environment so at least it would be basic knowledge that autistic children can struggle with imagination.

Hi Peppa My son wasn't diagnosed until his reception year but nursery had already had concerns, had had the Ed Psych in etc. It was eventually agreed that he would start school part time and only go in the mornings. I must admit I was devastated at the time - and worried about him standing out as different, not making friends etc. However when he did start school he surprised everyone by coping quite well and quickly getting the hang of the rules such as how to pick lunch, stand in the queue etc and we didn't have any big problems that year at all. I remember asking nursery about him at lunchtime as I couldn't imagine him coping with that at all but they reassured me that the first week they stayed for lunch it was very quiet and with a classroom assistant to help - and he seemed to enjoy the independance. I think the fact that he'd been to the school nursery really helped the transition. Sorry I'm waffling but I wanted to say it might not be as difficult as expected, we were (and nursery) really dreading school and thinking there was no way G would cope, even with little things such as finding his way to the yard after eating lunch, but he did.

We've recently had a friend home from school twice and a return invitation was given to G but I had to say no. Reason being I'd be absolutely mortified if there was a meltdown (can be very violent and try to damage things or hurt people) and it's not worth taking the chance with the friendship. I don't think people realise how extreme things can be. The only person to have G is my mam and even she can't cope out with both boys.

So pleased for you Vicky, hope this is the start for Kyle. (I feel all emotional reading your post <'> )

Thank you! I've researched the nearest Tesco however and it's here in Newcastle, no Asda or Sainsburys but there is apparently a small co op in the next town. I was genuinely astounded that people don't have access to any number of major supermarkets - however they seem to cope so I expect we will too. Have pottered about but am feeling much more mellow now Wish us luck!

Nope I'm sitting on the pc, alcohol in hand. Note to self: Go and pack!

Can I just scream! Or does anyone have any valium? We're going to Northumbria (nr Seahouses) tomorrow and G is absolutely manic and hyper and volitile. The last 3 nights we've had shouting and screaming, hitting and throwing things. Shouting at poor L who's poorly anyway. He's thrown a book at a teacher at school and the G I know and love seems to be lost to me at the minute. I haven't finished packing. G is refusing to pack any toys as he's not allowed to go on Google (but no doubt will decide he want's at the last minute)! There's so much to do! Dp is on 12 hr nights and has been all week so that limited what I could do too as if I go up L comes up too and makes so much noise he wakes dp. Just wanted a cyber whinge. (Must be melatonin time about now?!) Off to confiscate a football before our neighbour rings the police!

Your son sounds just like mine (also 7 and in Y2). G is very bright but hardly writes anything and the little he does do doesn't reflect what he actually knows at all. G also doesn't like doing anything 'hard' so refuses to try most things (goodness knows what will happen with the SATS!) We have a one to one helper for G every morning and he's currently being assessed for a statement. We'll find out mid April if we're getting one and what it includes. Hopefully this will mean he will have a full time one to one as without someone sitting with him he doesn't do a thing. G also has behavioural problems (runs out of class, shouts at children and staff, etc) and a very poor attention span which I think has helped his case and meant that his problems aren't ignored. In a way it's good he's distruptive as I have several friends with children who are fairly quiet and well behaved, but not actually learning anything and they seem to get much less help. Edited to add that G also has 2 x 30 min sessions with the Learning Support Teacher in the afternoons and this teacher works on his handwriting (they are going right back to basic letter formation with him) but while they are doing this, this teacher also discusses things that have upset G that week (G's class teacher lets her know of any issues) and they talk about that and try to make sense of what happened / talk about a different way of dealing with it so G understands. It's a huge worry though. I never used to worry about G academically, I used to think that he'll be fine as he's so bright but as time goes on and the work is getting more complex (eg atm they are doing 'imaginative stories' and he's really struggling therefore refusing to do it), apparently he's very reluctant to do numeracy now - unless it relates to Star Wars he has no interest whatsoever. Does your son get any extra help at all? Gotta go am being screamed at as R2D2 is missing!

G (7 with AS) has taken to shouting very loudly at ds#2 (3) if he as much as touches one of his toys. Even things that are 'his' but that he hasn't played with in years. His problem is that ds#2 'didn't ask'. I'm torn between trying to make sure ds#2 asks every time (but sometimes he'll only pick something up for a second) or making some rules that say they don't need to ask if the other child isn't playing with the toy and takes care of it. We've tried getting G to name some 'special' toys that we'd put away from ds#2 (in his safe for example) but he says all of his toys are special! How do you manage with silbings and their toys?

I rang around schools to ask if they had a vacancy in the relevant year group, then arranged to visit. It was only after we had visited the school, been offered a place and took ds to visit that we informed the old school (who were so furious and unprofessional on the the phone that we didn't send him back for the last few days of term). Good Luck - a new start in a supportive environment was worked very well for us after settling in teething problems (from ds)

Our diagnosis is actually Asperger syndrome / HFA and the report says they are unable to say which as due to the slight speech difficulties G had at 3. He was referred for an assessment, we refused. It wasn't explained what this would involve or why and not knowing better at that time we said 'no his speech is fine' (which it was in what we knew of speech problems then - he was speaking and using lots of words). We went to 2 assessment sessions which G hated and was generally uncooperative so that didn't help, I was hugely pregnant and struggling to control him in the session and didn't warm to the therapist who didn't seem to acknowledge his problems with sitting still, attention etc. When we finally agreed, we spent years on the waiting list (punishment for being uncooperative?) he'd all ready been diagnosed and the only problems mentioned were speaking too fast and the 'sh', 'sss' and 'th' sounds. Professionals do tend to say G can be unclear as he speaks so fast and / or mumbles. I tend to use whatever 'diagnosis' suits me best at the time - usually 'Aspergers' for people with a bit of knowledge, professionals etc and 'autism' for people who haven't got a clue.

Still haven't got ours. It's for ds#1 who's 7 but I may have to be sneaky and put it on saying it's for ds#2 (3) and hoping it graps his interest!

Thanks for reassuring me! I feel terribly cruel and wouldn't usually have said no PC, it was just very deliberate the way he punched me and I didn't think, 'no computer tomorrow' just popped out of my mouth! I reminded him this morning and oh we had tears and tantrums and why are we so horrible to him. He really genuinely thinks we are the worst parents in the world. Learning experience from this is - even if we are doing something nice, I must make it crystal clear that he will not be able to spend as long on the computer (although that's likely to make him not want to do anything at all!)

Thank you - it's a good point about the punishment being too far away, maybe I should have said no story (it was bedtime so not much to take away) He's 7 and we usually use a 'traffic light' (photo of G - goes from green to amber then red when it's time to come off) - I didn't last night as he was playing on the PC and the traffic light's on the wall next to the PS2, must switch it over now he's PC obsessed! He's woke up quite happy this morning so I'm dreading telling him (it'll be even worse if I remind him after school)! Hopefully this won't continue into a bad day at school. It's not easy is it?!

I'd quite like to come to the Newcastle meet up - dp's shifts permitting (to dump the kids on, not to bring him!)

We went to soft play after school today so G had less PC time (only 1/2 hr) as we were home late. He's got a new Star Wars (his obsession) game and it's taken over his every thought. He was warned he had less time (but only as we got home from soft play, in retrospect I'd have empathised that this morning) and had a 10 then 5 minute warning. He continued playing, 'just let me finish this level' / 'wait till I get killed' etc so I went upstairs with ds#2 knowing G would follow as he's terrified to be alone in a room. He was very cross and threatened to punch me in the head if he couldn't go back on the PC, of course I said 'no' so he did. I've said no PC tomorrow because of this (but wish I'd picked a different sanction as this is his big obsession of the moment). I was wavering whether to stick to this (all Hell will break loose tomorrow!) but feel I should. When dp came home he feels that we should go further and say no PC anymore at all? Help me please?! My gut feeling is that I should stick to no PC tomorrow as that's what I said and bear the consequences but that no PC for a very long time is too much and not the punishment I said at the time? Janice (why is everyone cross with me lol - I'm the one who got punched!)

Lol - that would be typical! We have one but I'm too scared of public disproval to use it near school. It's also quite dangerous It does annoy me hugely when a large number of parents (none with disabilities) park all over the path outside school, making an already hair raising road even worse. I think if I can struggle across 2 roads with my pair they they are lazy gits!