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A toy something he likes in real life? Such as a toy fan or toy washing machine? We like bubbles here too (have the Gazillion bubbles set and a bubble gun and bubble maker)

Wow Karen that sounds great. I wasn't impressed by ours (as you know the same scheme but a younger group) they didn't know G had Autism and no feedback whatsoever. The promised 1-2-1 never made themselves known, if in fact there was one. Having said that he stayed the course which was a biggie in itself!

I was in hospital for a week last October (taken in in the middle of the night so no chance for a warning) and my AS son surprised me. He's very clingy and very much a Mummy's boy - I thought having me away and dp caring for him and not doing all the usual things I do would be terrible for him. However he seemed to understand on a very practical and unemotional level - I was poorly and needed to be in hospital and that was that. It's hard to explain, it was just a case of Mammy's not there and that's that. He only like coming in to visit me as he got sweets from the hosptial shop, once they were eaten he was bored and wanted to go home! It so wasn't the reaction I expected as we're so close, but it did highlight to me how his brain works very practically. I hope you get a similar surprise and that things go well and you're in and out very quickly.

Great news on the offer In our area there is no speech therapy provided by Education and it all comes under Health - as far as I understand therefore the speech therapists don't go into mainstream schools here (not sure about special schools). However it's still detailed on my son's statement in parts 2 and 3 and therefore should be provided, it will most likely mean us taking him of of school for appointments but this is what we have been doing on the rare sessions he's already had. Therefore even if it's not provided in school, it can still be on. Apologies if I've misunderstood, it's late!

We have those balls! A friend of dp's visited the other day and went to the loo. He came out and said he'd found one of the kids balls in the toilet so fished it out for us! Ugh!

I'm not ASD either but never went to the toilet from starting secondary school - I had it in my head that someone might look over the top as a joke. I took it to the extreme that I wouldn't drink all day till I got home at tea time. I will wee in other toilets now, it just stopped being such an issue as I got older but it was a big problem. I also wouldn't eat in front of anyone for years to the extent that school contacted my parents and said they thought I had an eating disorder (by my mid to late teens I did but it didn't start off as one I just didn't like to eat in front of people) I'm fine now. Strange to hear how many people have similar problems - it's one of those things you'd be mortified talking about as a teenager!

Years ago it was the lighting isles of DIY shops - and if they had those electric ceiling fan types, well that was just fantastic!

I noticed a small mistype on the AS page - visual perception was typed visual eprception. I did wonder if the video might be better placed under ADHD? Great site though, lots of information and very informative.

Lol! My ds did agree to go but why exactly would they call it the Forbidden Corner when it's not forbidden was a continuous theme.

We went to the Forbidden Corner last summer and really enjoyed it - I hope your son ahs a nice time. Mine were almost 3 and 6 at the time and my little one was a bit wary - my arm was aching with the effort of carrying him - but ds#1 (AS) loved it! He'd love to go back.

There is that! It's impossible to meet up with friends and their children or even go to parks etc as G finds this too difficult. Now I've gotten over the first few days without a phonecall I may dare to leave the house! If G lasts till Tuesday I have a birthday cup of tea to attend which won't be possible if G is there so fingers crossed!

Well I still have ds#2 to keep me occupied! He's lost without ds#1 and thinks I really need to fill in properly! It's worth it though - ds#1 is occupied and not sitting alone on the PC and there's not quite so many fights and attempts to kill one another!

Just to post an update - I've been almost scared too incase announcing it changes our luck! G was not happy on Monday at going, lots of shouting etc until I persuaded him that we'd just go and look, no pressure to stay. He went and spotted another little boy from his school (he doesn't know him but I'd been telling him that 'N' would be on this course and was excited) and started chatting to (at?) him then spotted a climbing frame on the school field. He went in fine and started drawing with all of the other children, I said I was going and he said as long as all the other Mammy's had gone then that was ok! I wasn't too impressed that they weren't even aware that G had autism let alone the 1:1 support promised but as he seemed unexpectedly ok to leave I left him. He came out furious as he'd asked them to phone me twice and I'd taken ages (they hadn't phoned but I didn't say that) - apparently there's a very bossy girl on the scheme who keeps telling him what to do (he hates that!). It's only a little girl who attends the school where the playscheme is and keeps telling him they aren't allowed to do this and that but he seems to have accepted us explaining how there are rules when this girl is at school and different rules when it's a playscheme and he only needs to obey the playscheme leaders. We've set up a reward scheme for him where there's a sticker chart and cash incentive for how many days he manages on the playscheme. It seems a bit mercanary (sp?) but dp suggested a reward for completing the scheme and I thought it would be better to reward him for any day he manages - bearing in mind he won't stay anywhere but with me, dp, my mum and school (and not always school). Today he came out much happier than yesterday and had made a spider. Sorry I'm going on a bit, I'm so proud of him, this is a huge step for him and staying alone in a new place with new people is something he's never done before :) They have a 'juice room' where you can help yourself to juice - he only gets water and watered down fruit juice at home and he's become obsessed with the juice - he came home last night and had so many wees in an hour I thought he must have a water infection till he mentioned the juice ('there's a sign saying help yourself..')

So pleased for you Isn't it fantastic when something turns out well for them? My son has stayed 2 days on his evry first playscheme and I feel more emotional that him starting school, it's such a big thing for him.

Glad he's feeling better - I had ds#1 prised off me and pulled inside screaming on Sports Day (he was told just before a race that he couldn't wear his cap and he'd already figured out this would give him an advantage and thought he was in with a chance of winning! Therefore he got really upset and wanted to come home with me.) I feel terrible still and am never sure what to do at the time - I'm sure the teachers think I pander terribly to him but often by my coming in for a bit while he makes the transition into school comforts him and he calms and is ok to be left. Sometimes this just isn't going to work and he becomes hysterical. When do you break up? Our schools broke up last week? The end of term is an awful lot for them to cope with, ds#1 often ends up missing the last week or 2 (he made it to the end this term but things were very fraught by the end!) I hope everyone's replies have reassured you that you did the right thing.

Delighted for you

We've recently been given a grant for outdoor play centre for ds#1, he can't play outside and parks and soft plays can be a nightmare too, plus he's an obsessive climber! We're really pleased and grateful and the boys will love this (dp is moaning about the lawn!) The conditions are that I ask the company who we're buying from to invoice Cerebra. It's driving me mad - I'm sure the companies think this is some dodgy scam as they either reply saying that they don't accept payment this way, it's credit or debit cards only, or they don't reply at all. One did reply and said fine let me know who to invoice so I did and have heard nothing, no reply to emails and only an answer phone at the phone line (I'm worried by this so don't want to buy their climbing frame now anyway) The summer holidays have already started and I'm still looking at climbing frames - what started off as great fun in turning into a nightmare task, I even feel dodgy now emailing companies asking if I can buy a climbing frame but will they invoice Cerebra. Has anyone had this type of grant where you ask the company to invoice Cerebra?? I may contact Cerebra tomorrow and ask if they have any companies they can recommend.

That is absolutely appalling! I read that, then noticed your daughter is in reception and couldn't believe that this could happen - once possibly but not several times! My son is a runner when stressed and has ran out of school many times, usually he stays in the yard but several times he's got out of the gate or under the fence. He's always been followed by a member of staff and has never been left alone, and they are very aware that he will run when stressed (his classroom was right next to a fire door that couldn't be locked) so keep an eye on him. Actually PDA has been mentioned with regard to ds too. I really think you need to take this higher. Is there Autism Liasion going into school? Or possibly the governers or even the LEA? I think the fact that your 5yr old daughter with asd has been found several times outside school is a major, major risk and if anything happens to her they will be very much liable (I would hope!) Let us know how you get on, I'm shocked at the lack of care shown.

Ages ago I filled in a form for G to attend a playscheme for the first 2 weeks of the summer holiday, spoke to someone one the phone and she was very positive and promised 1 to 1 support etc (it's for all kids but supported for SEN children) I realised last week that we hadn't heard a thing so rang up explained G has autism and severe behavioural problems and we really need to clarify the support, find out more about it to tell G, get the information pack so we can fill it all in about G. They said it would be sent straight out and that the playscheme supervisor will ring me. I also paid over the phone for the scheme (�50 for 2 weeks) No one rang, I rang 2 days ago explained my concerns yet again was assured all was fine he's booked on the course etc and someone will ring and the information pack (which if it's the same as a few years ago is a lengthy book to fill in about G) will be sent out. Now he's supposed to start on Monday and there's been nothing! They think I can just turn up with him on Monday and all will be well - it just doesn't work like that with G! He needs preparation, information - even a visit or a chance to meet a member of staff who will be on the scheme. And they certainly need to know a bit about him and how he reacts, triggers etc. Feeling so blooming frustrated - there was a chance with some preparation that he would have gone to this and had fun, without any of this we have no chance. It's almost too late now but I'm feeling a need to write a stern letter saying inclusion is only inclusion if they make some efforts to include! Years ago the SEN children were on seperate schemes and there was a lot more preparation, a visit, high experienced staff ratios etc - it still didn't work for G (he has a high level of anxiety about being apart from me) but there was a chance this year as he was 5 last time we tried, he's 7 now. They just don't seem to understand what they are dealing with and it's so exasperating! I did say it was looking like it was all too late now to the woman on the phone and she made me feel as though I was overreacting - the information pack isn't here today, even if it arrives tomorrow there's no way they will get it before the playscheme starts. I think if it doesn't work out I shall be asking for my money back this time (when it didn't work last time I didn't as he'd been well prepared, had a visit etc but this time there has been absolutely nothing) Grrrr - I really needed to get that out of my system!

I have a much younger son (3 and 3/4 - nt but currently wondering about that) who smeared recently. We took him to the GPs on advice of the HV incase there was something physical causing his problem (even when he didn't smear he'd poo every single day!) and he was prescibed Lactulose. I was very sceptial and really just went along with this to prove I was giving it a go but bizzarely it seems to have solved the problem and he's going to the toilet again. I'm not totally sure this was a cure and it may well have been a co-incidence but maybe worth getting him checked out anyway just to double check that there's nothing physical going on?

Ds#2 has been extremely difficult lately and he possibly is going to be assessed but it has been suggested that this would be more useful when he's a bit older (he'll be having a 2nd year of nursery in September as he just missed starting school this year) I'm waiting to see the Health Visitor but she's on holiday atm. I'm torn between thinking there is something there and that he's just copying the totally innappropriate behaviour he sees from his brother added to which he has a more stressful home life than most 3 yr olds. So in the meantime if I'm assuming he is nt - how do those of you with nt siblings (particularly younger ones) cope? Ds#2 already does things that are very clearly ds#1 (he came to me the other day raising his fist saying 'what did you say, woman?' in exactly the same voice that ds#1 would) I've tried having little quiet chats saying ds#1 says things that are not nice but it's very hard to explain to a 3 (4 in September) year old. He was so bad at nursery one day this week that they asked for permission to send him home but weren't allowed. I don't know if it's a co-incidence but the day before at Sports Day ds#1 had had a meltdown and was shouting and sayign nasty things to the teachers and ds#2 saw this. Just 2 weeks ago though nursery said they weren't too concerned there was a medical problem but they are concerned about his behaviour, they admit they don't know anything about asds however. Just wondering if any of you have any good plans for siblings? I'm doing the NAS help 2 course on Supporting Siblings in September and hopefully they might have some advice - I feel that this is an area where there's practically no support or specialised advice and it's much needed atm!

Glad you got sorted! I find like Karen that small physical things that don't really warrent a day off in themselves can tip G over the edge. We often miss the last week or 2 of term as he's so stressed and wound up anyway if I even attempted to send him in with anything else no matter how small it would warrent a total meltdown and a phonecall before I even got back to the car!

I know when we first started seeing various professionals with regard to ds#1 dp was very hostile about it all and walked out of one appointment saying ds was fine and insulted the health visitor on another visit (offhand 'humerous' comment when asked how he handled ds which wasn't remotely funny and got us reported). He did come around very very slowly but even now hasn't read any books / websites etc whereas I have a need to read everything. I did find him coming to appointments at the child and family unit was very helpful as a professional was pointing things out to him and not me. It's been hard and still isn't perfect but is much improved. Now we're having a similar problem with ds#2 (I think he may need to be assessed, dp thinks he's fine)

G has always had a fear of being alone. He's absolutely hysterical (and this frequently shows itself as aggression) if left alone even if I nip upstairs for something. It started as a fear of Diesel from Thomas and although he's not frightened of this anymore the fears remain, even if we manage to get rid of one fear eventually he finds something else to be frightened of. This means I have to stay upstairs until he goes to sleep and am woken at stupid o'clock most mornings from 5 or earlier. Ideally he'd like to be in our bed but we're holding out on this - I need some space even if it's just my own bed and also this would mean the little one would want it too and there isn't room in the bed for 4! I've been just about coping with this even though it drives me mad I try to be understanding, I thought things would improve by moving to a house with a down stairs toilet (going upstairs to the loo was a big problem and I had to go too) but it hasn't really, he's still frightened. Not just of the toilet but of being alone in a room mostly - the constant 'Mammy where are you?' drives me mad but I realise he's very anxious and try to not let anything negative show. Now ds#2 has started and this has knocked me for 6. It's really got me feeling so trapped and low, that I can't move for either of them. And although it's unreasonable I can't help but feel annoyed with ds#1 because I think it's his hysteria that's caused this in ds#2. I feel that I don't have any time from early am until 9 or 10 pm when they're finally, hopefully, asleep. Again I'm trying not to show any negativity but inside I'm so annoyed! Is there anyone who has such anxious children? Most people I know have children who will potter about up and down and play. It feels so constant! I'm pretty sure the fears are genuine and not attention seeking or likewise - ds#1 is addicted to the PC but will be off in and instant if his radar alerts him that I've left the room. Ds#2 I've tried to be a little tougher thinking he's just copying but if he finds he's alone upstairs (and I can literally just pop down for a second to get a drink or whatever) he sobs and is distraught. I don't know whether I should persist in trying to leave him for a few minutes, he doesn't have an asd but is really upset. It really is driving me mad - it's been going on since ds#1 was about 4 and most of this time we've gone with it thinking if he's scared then forcing him will make him worse. He wouldn't anyway - there's just no way to get him to stay alone.

Hi Lynden I'm not too experienced in headbanging in 3 yr olds but my son did this probably until approaching 2. He'd do it a lot and on hard surfaces like pavements. I was always given the standard advice from the HV as we didn't know G had autism at this time. Basically ignore the behaviour and he'll not really hurt himself! To be honest I wouldn't trust this advice now knowing that the child was autistic, it's a whole different ball game I feel and I was certain that my G did do it hard enough to hurt himself - is there anywhere you can approach for speciallist advice by people who know about asds? The hospital or an autism outreach worker? Sorry I'm not much help! G did outgrow this behaviour but still has very challenging behaviour in other ways.