LittleRae

Tylers-mum <'> It's always a shock - even when you're expecting it. Take a deep breath, relax and give yourself some time. <'>

Really annoyed reading this. I agree with what was posted earlier - this was your son's chance to shine and it was taken away. Regardless of what happened before the assembly, he should have been allowed to do it. Think, if this was an NT child, would it have been put down to nerves before doing something like this for the first time? I'll bet allowances would have been made there. His refusal to return to class could have been treated in two ways - either use a different consequence, or use the fact that he was excited about his reading i.e. ' won't you come back to class, we're practising for assembly. You wouldn't want to miss that'. So So ANNOYED! I really think you should speak (or write) to the teacher and Head about this. A PS Hope you're both feeling ok today <'>

Juvenile Members? - as in age...

Hi Agree with lots of the posts and think it's not a good idea to let Ben go with just her. BUT... it could be a good opportunity (a) for letting him spend time with a dog and see if it helps his phobia and ( could be a good 'in' to a friendship with another boy. Would you think of explaining your reservations to her but suggest maybe she take her son and her dog to the park and you and Ben could meet them there. That way, he has the opportunity to see both the dog and the boy and if there are any problems you can just leave. You never know, it just might work out and if it doesn't, no harm done. I would, however, have a quick word with the Head to check she's ok - most likely is, if she's working for the school, but Head might have a word about confidentiality etc if you're worried about gossip A

Hi Liz Have you tried e-books, where he can read a book online? There are lots of sites to choose from. This one has active pictures and highlights the text - it's also sort of interactive, as he can click to go on to the next page http://www.tumblebooks.com/library/asp/boo...ry=PictureBooks It might help keep him interested and you can start with short stories. (BTW some books are free, but you need to buy others) A

Hi Kathryn For her key, I wouldn't suggest putting one on a coat or bag as she might lose either of them. There are coiled wrist key rings but they might be uncomfortable. Your best bet might be a retractable keychain which she could attach to her jeans http://www.militarykit.com/products/milita...e_key_chain.htm Hope this helps. A

Hope you and Adam are feeling better today A

Hi Waccoe You've received some great advice here. You're going through a lot at the moment and I agree with the advice of setting yourself a date to seek a diagnosis and don't worry about it until then. If you can clear a path for yourself mentally, you will cope much better. It's the small things that trip us up, I find, and make everything overwhelming. I'm in a heap here as well - don't even mention the house, and yes. the packing and shopping from our half-term trip to London is still in the hallway & probably will be for a while (!). Quite often I don't take my own advice, but I've found this helpful.... Make a list of what you need to accomplish & tick off the small things first. If it's to clean a room, set a timer and give yourself 15 minutes to do it. Tear around like a mad thing, but know that it's only for 15 minutes ( I can do anything for 15 minutes). When the timer goes off, stop. Now you can mark that room off your list. Later in the day do another - or wait until the following day. You can give yourself shorter times for other jobs - e.g. 10 minutes to wash the floor. 5 minutes to tidy bathroom. If you do the 'quick' jobs first, your list will get shorter more quickly. I'm often sitting exhausted in front of the TV but think to myself - I have 5 minutes when I can do something, what will it be (usually, iron school uniform for the following day or take 5 t-shirts to iron & then stop). I'd say that sore throat is lingering because of stress. Once you relax, it will probably go away. With regard to your voluntary work, why not take a break for a week or two then decide - often just having an interest outside the house is relaxing in itself. With regard to dx - we got ours by accident. I had no inkling that there were such problems - as DS is our first, we just accepted him as he was... Now, I have to say that having a dx is great. He is entitled to extra hours resource at school which is used to stretch him - just this 5 hours a week makes him so happy. He is learning to type (thinking secondary school here). It's used to help him take part in paired work with other kids. Most of all, on the odd occasion when he lets fly in the playground, the staff don't jump all over him and cart him off as they used to do. When he acts up in class the teacher doesn't assume he's being naughty. They don't say 'why can such an intelligent boy not remember to write down homework and take books home?' - now, someone checks his journal & schoolbag each day. If they forget, I don't feel obliged to ring round his friends to get the work (previously I was embarrassed and took it personally if I had to explain to the teacher why homework wasn't done for the third time in a week!). I was quite embarrassed I have to say, going in to the school with the diagnosis, and they all thought I was crazy as my son was doing so well. But, I'm looking to the future. I know already that he will find it hard to cope in secondary school. I've already had to change my plans as I'd hoped to send him to a good independent school, but this would necessitate him being on a bus for an hour each way every day. Now, I'd be afraid he wouldn't get on it to come home... I'm hoping to use the next 2-3 years before secondary school to work on organisational skills, making sure he can take his own homework notes, find his books, etc. It is only as time goes on that the difference between my son and his peers is becoming obvious (the change in the last year is astounding). Also, as someone else said earlier, it's not okay if they are coping and in the top set at school. If their potential is so much more, wouldn't we be remiss as parents if we didn't get all the help they need to achieve that? If my son can't achieve his ambitions I don't want to think that there was something I could have done, but didn't. I know you do a lot at home but school is a major part of their world and it does no harm to plan out the next 8 years (if you look at it, he's not halfway through yet) and anticipate future pitfalls. Things aren't perfect, but I find having a dx means my son gets a 'second chance' when things go awry at school. Sorry, seem to have rambled on a bit here (don't often post, and when I do I get carried away!) - I must go now and take my own advice. BTW, when correcting spellings, did you hit the 'insert' button (over the delete button) - that way you can type without going over other words. Hope things go well for you <'> A

Hi LouLou I am in the same position. My DS is 9 (almost 10) and dx when he was 8. We didn't tell him then, as he was going through pretty much what your son is at the moment. I felt at the time that it might compound matters if he thought there WAS actually something 'wrong' with him. He too was convinced he was bad and should die. So we waited.. Now, we still haven't told him - I've put it off when things are good - why upset him? Now, however, he's having major upsets at school especially over his Maths. He can't seem to grasp the longer multiplication and tries to multipy 94 by 15 in his head instead of breaking it down. He's then convinced he's stupid - heartbreaking in a child who is in the top group in his class and gained a very high score in Maths (Logic) for his Gifted and Talented program. Looking back, I sort of wish we'd mentioned it earlier - it would have been easier in the long run (although I'd have waited for a time when he wasn't upset). The next time he mentions that he's stupid I'm going to use something along the lines of Zemanski's explanation - some people's minds work a bit different from other peoples and this means he is really good at some things but some things he needs help with because he needs to learn in a different way from other kids. I won't mention AS, but hopefully ithis explanation will make him feel better. I have my suspicions that he knows a little anyway. He has read Kathy Hoopman's books and has mentioned that he shares characteristics with the character in the story. I also bought a book about telling a child about AS and forgot to put it away. When I came back into the room it was turned upside down - I took that to mean he didn't want to talk about it. Sorry, rambling a bit here and not giving much in the way of advice. Every child and circumstance is different. The point is to tell at the right time, but in my case, I think I have put it off just to make things easier for me. Take care. Hope you make the right decision for you A

Brill!

There is NO aspect of YOUR child's education which does not concern YOU! What a stupid thing for her to say...

I'd be furious if he was an NT child let out of school without my knowledge, the fact that he's ASD doesn't bear thinking about!

DS(9) has always had some difficulties, but up to the age of 5 would 'go' about once or twice a week. Now it can be two to three weeks between visits. We also have the problem of wetting - he feels no sensation of needing to go. Next week he will go to hospital for retraining - I'm told it's very successful. One of our main problems is that although we remind him regularly to go to the toilet, he just refuses. The idea with the hospital is that he won't refuse them, and once he's in the habit of going we should be able to continue at home. Fingers crossed A

Thanks for that Simon! Sometimes he doubts himself that it will happen, but I know that encouraging him to believe it gives him something to look forward to (if it wasn't for that, I doubt I'd get him inside the school door) A

D (9) wants to be a Palaeontologist and a chef in his own restaurant on weekends! Can't see the chef thing working out as he gags when you even mention meat! Although it would be nice to have my sunday lunch cooked for me! I'd like to think he could become a Palaeontologist as he's wanted this since he was two, but that all depends on getting through secondary school. He's good academically but his organisational skills are non-existent... Will do my best though... A

((((((((((hugs))))))))))

Hi Tylers-Mum No, I'm in Ireland - where everything is expensive!! $100 works out at approx �50 sterling. If you can get it for �40, let me know - just in case he loses it. I wouldn't want to pay that price again. Good luck A

Hi Tylers-Mum Yes, you need to set the alarms yourself. Don't worry though. I'm extremely thick at these types of things but they included a 'foolproof' set of basic instructions on how to do it! We usually start off by getting him to 'go' before he leaves the house for school. We'd set the first alarm then for approximately an hour later (to take into account breakfast, early morning drink, etc.) After that we usually set it for every 2 hours. You may need to make this more often if your son is younger. I know my son could go 3-4 hours, but I don't want to risk accidents. Once you have the times as you need them, you don't need to touch it again. The watch we bought was e-pill which looks pretty cool - red & blue. http://www.epill.com/pediatric.html As you say, pretty expensive but it's on sale now for $100. I had a look round and thought this was the best all-round, with the number of alarms available and the plus that it looked good. I honestly feel it was worth every penny - apart from when he thought he'd lost it!! It took some time to get used to it, though, so expect him to ignore it for a couple of weeks. We used the alarm first with the vibration so he'd get used to it and now use vibration only - don't want to annoy the teacher! A

Hi My DS who is 9 still has toileting 'issues' including not realising he needs to go until it's too late - and often when it is too late, he doesn't even notice he's wet himself. This summer I purchased a medical watch for him which vibrates at allocated intervals - up to 7 times a day. We 'trained' him to notice the vibrations all during the holidays and so far it seems to work quite well. It's not 100% but apart from when he's on the Playstation he seems to notice that it's going off. At least it seems to work in school, which is the most important thing. A

Congratulations Kirstie! Wishing you days of smiles & nights of sleep!! A

Hi Jayjay I can relate to this. My son was just 2 when we moved house and I'm still hearing about it (he's 9)! Of course we didn't know about AS at the time, but he was quite traumatised and wandered around clutching the one thing the movers left behind (a beanbag chair). He's like this about all new stuff - for 3 years he cried after every green car he saw, when we changed ours. He has a beautiful room with dinosaurs painted on the walls, but still yearns for the old torn stripey wallpaper that adorned the walls when we moved in 7 years ago. I guess with AS you are best to prepare the child as much as possible - maybe visit the new area, get him a picture of the new house and his new room. If he's like my son this will help a little, but not totally reassure him. I mention often that I'm thinking of changing the kitchen or the colour of a room so that it isn't too much of a shock when it happens, but he's still upset. Sorry, not much help here - I'm sure others will be by to give better advice. Welcome to the forum A

Just having a 'quiet' day on saturday with 50 close friends and 27 of their children....! I've decided to throw a garden party to say goodbye to my 30's - if it rains, you'll all hear me! Stressed? who's stressed!!! A

Hi Ours has been outside for 18 months now, and apart from a little discolouring on the edges, doesn't seem to have any ill-effects. The new ones let the rain go through, rather than sitting on top as the older ones did. I think the surround actually helps to keep most things off - apart from the odd tree-full of leaves which need to be swept off - and only needs a wipe-down before use. Also find that because the base is porous it usually pretty much dries itself out A

Hi All Just an update on content for the seminar: 'The seminar will explore practical supports and strategies that enable children with aspersger syndrome to successfully navigate childhood and adolescence. These supports and strategies are designed to promote positive functioning and prevent social/emotional meltdown. It will offer a perspective on understanding and addressing the social world, developing friendships, promoting strengths and managing difficulties. In particular, issues around school, adolescence and transition to adulthood will be examined, with implications for home, school and community.' A

Just a note to all members in Ireland. Tony Attwood will be in Belfast on 21st September at the Europa hotel. �60 sterling for parents - 9.30-4.30. Send an e-mail for details to: arlene@autismni.org Hope to see some of you there A