mrs.ddh

Hev, I am pleased for you and Steve. How exciting to be camping and canoeing and stuff! Can I go? And you got an 'I love you!' That is so sweet and adorable and fuzzy-warm! My son has never said that to me, maybe I should him off camping? My son has taken to rambling through the woods (with parents in tow) and he really likes it. Maybe Steve has found his inner 'nature lover' too! ddh

I too am putting off letters - so fed up with writing emails to the LEA, the SENCo, the Headteacher, Parent Partnership, the psychiatrist and his sidekick the therapist, the family doctor, and every one of my son's teachers. Soon it will be the appeal for the tribunal hearing in October...joy of joys. Good on you, JsMum, for staying up until 1am to write letters, though. You are a real trooper. Putting me to shame ddh

Sorry, bikergal, I got your name wrong, but feeling a bit blue today. My apologies for not being able to read! ddh

Sorry to hear your news, Bikergirl. Splitting up is painful so big <'> to you. ddh

Mumble, I have owned dogs all my life, but when I go to the park and there are yobbos there with their dogs running loose and looking fierce - I too become petrified. Last year I had several run-ins with one dog and his awful owner and I ended up going to the park at different times to try and avoid them both - when that didn't work I rang the Dog Warden and reported the incidents. You should have a dog warden for your area too. Try looking in the council's listing. My heart goes out to you, sugar. Ditto on what everyone else said - None of what happened, nor how you reacted, was your fault. Scary dogs and scary people are scary. And shame on those people who failed to come to your assistance or defense. ddh

When I was a kid my siblings and I used to eat chips frozen - they taste really good that way - and now my kids do the same. Just one or two, mind, before I cook them. And not mad or bad on the mummy front - how else they going to learn when things are cooked properly if no one teaches them? Micro chips is a life skill too, and if dd can already use the micro that's one up on me.... ddh

The water goes down the opposite way? Have a great holiday, Tally! ddh

Ditto on the collecting...my son had many shrines (always beautifully displayed on his shelves - and no one was allowed to move anything so much as a millimeter): Spongebob Squarepants, Lara Croft, Clinique (including just the boxes) and Starbucks...a level of sophistication in his collecting as he matured, methinks? But I love the collection he has kept the longest........Christmas decorations! He has four boxes already and every year his bedroom is magically transformed into Santa's Grotto. I keep trying to get him to 'donate' a few of his beautiful decks to me! Merry Christmas! ddh

I do the same with mine, forever having to nag - and I always thought I should just get some kind of recording device with which I could push the red button for 'Did you make your bed?' and a blue one for 'Why haven't you put your plate in the kitchen?' and another colored button for this, and another for that...saves me from having to repeat myself... So there with you Smiley - I am a doormat when it comes to my teenage daughter! Screaming does not help when she is in the middle of a hissy fit...I sometimes wonder if I were less calm and patient then she would be less prone to exhibiting and exhibiting her emotions... I get the same thing with my son (14 ASD) - he cannot tolerate it if hubby and I are having "words" or even if we are not happy - it pains him way too much. He too will do whatever he can to make sure things are kopesetic (sp?)... It's as if it is okay for him to become angry or upset (rare though for him - he does not often exhibit much emotion) but he cannot tolerate us having emotions. And to all those on this thread who have admitted to shouting - hey, right there with you! And you know what? When I do start shouting, I find it tends to calm things down. It is the oldest trick in the book, really, as far as I'm concerned...two teenage kids nagging each other taking chunks out of the other fighting, squabbling, etc. etc. etc. and then Mum loses a casket and presto! I become the common enemy and the troops join forces, stop their blooming fighting and get along just fine! ddh

I am late to the thread - but enjoyed reading it all the same - and found it very useful. What I would add in the sensory overload area is sense of smell....my son (ASD 14) was taking German at school and eventually had to drop it because the smell of the room drove him insane. He has an exceptionally acute sense of smell, so much so that we can no longer eat fish in the house, or anything that is particularly smelly! I had tried to explain his problems with the smell of the room to the school, but they weren't having it! I begged to let him continue taking the class, that I could link up with the teacher myself and work something out - still no go. (I hold a degree in German and have worked as an interpreter.) Talk about the school being completely inflexible..... I do not think teachers understand how terribly overwhelming smells can be for my son - he can honestly smell things we cannot. If a teacher is wearing perfume or aftershave, my son will be in agony during the entire class.... Is there anyone else on the forum who suffers from this? If so, summertime, it might be worth mentioning in your next presentation. Hope the last one went well for you! ddh

This thread gave me real food for thought and made me wonder if my son (ASD 14) laughed at jokes because we did (like bikergal - he was given clues that he should laugh), but then I realised he too adored toilet humor and jokes which are punny or somehow play on information he already has or likes. A test! Bikergal and Mumble, my daughter came home with this joke last week and my son found it hilarious. Will you? A neutron goes into a pub, orders a drink and then asks the bartender 'How much?' The bartender says 'For you? No charge!' Hopefully you are laughing ...my son did because he enjoys science and 'got the joke'! But with everything, even humor, it can often be down to personal taste too. My mother used to love to tell me jokes because I never got the punchlines, which made her laugh even more because she couldn't understand how her university-educated daughter couldn't get the simplest of jokes. I have not been diagnosed with ASD, but do share characteristics. But in my defense, I shall just say that the jokes weren't funny! On another note, I remember my son watching a telly advert in which Tesco were promoting their range of extra large wrapping paper during the Christmas holiday season. They claimed it was large enough to wrap whatever you needed, and the camera slowly panned to show a bicycle carefully wrapped up with bow. Now, I laughed because it was playing on the joke that the paper was large enough to wrap up a bike, but it was obviously a bike underneath. So, what was the point of wrapping it? My son asked me why I was laughing, and every time I tried to explain why, he disagreed that that was funny. Maybe the joke was not the funny...or maybe it was for me and my sense of humor...it's a matter of taste sometimes.....

I wish you all the best, lisa - I am a smoker - but without your willpower! My friend gave up smoking and she passed on her tips to me, which I have failed to use. Here they are for you and I hope they help: 1. Lollipops - these gave her hands something else to hold! 2. Changing your routines, such as, if you take a shower first thing - dont! Do something different, even if means getting out of bed on the opposite side! 3. Take up a handicraft - also gives your hands something to do and focuses your mind on something else. 4. When you fancy having a ciggie, go for a walk instead. 5. And if I think of something else, will jot it down! (Dinner's ready and they're calling me to come to the table! Best of luck to you! ddh

Hiya Pearl, My son is 14 (ASD) and told me a few months ago that 'Mum, I'm always going to live with you, right? You can get a house with a granny flat.' He has it all planned I guess! Heavens me, I cannot even begin to think about him working... how would they feel about him breaking into song? Or dancing at the drop of a hat? ddh

Good morning forum, I was exhausted last night and came onto the forum but only managed to say hello to a few newbies before crashing into bed. I would like to say a great big thank you to you all for allowing this newbie to come along to your Southern Meet and for being so welcoming and friendly. My kids had a great time - okay, they spent most of their time away from our group and were off perusing Greenwich - but they had so much fun in London and came home in the happiest of moods, so did Mom! And um, it was you Kathryn! Who led us up the wrong hill! Legs still hurt.... Michelle, I adore your pumpkin story...so precious! And I can understand Bard's reticence about having photos posted and surely she's allowed a meltdown...I had one on the train coming home because I couldn't smoke. My kids thought it was pretty funny, though. I so need to give up... And so jealous of the people who fed the squirrels yesterday! I have been feeding two in my garden for the past two years...well, I put out the food and they come and get it the minute I come in. (So ungrateful!) I would have loved to have hand fed a sguirrel. And David, you squirrel racist! Grey ones are just as cute as red! Count me in on Legoland, Smiley! Finally, to all who I did not get a chance to speak to yesterday, I am sorry I didn't get the chance and look forward to bending your ears at the next meet! Again, had a great time yesterday and thanks! ta for now ddh

Hi Marmalade and May! M&M? Nice to have you here! Marmalade, I was not aware of PDAS before you had posted it here, but I am willing to learn about it! May, I have a son (14) who has ASD too. So we can probably compare notes on what a great time they are having at their schools.... I am sorry, though, but I cannot advise you on the self-harming. I can offer my sympathies and hope someone else on the forum has more experience in this area than I do. Hang in there, ladies... you have come to the right place. I am a newbie here too and I can already highly recommend this site. You will gain great support and advice - so welcome to you both from a fellow newbie! ta for now ddh

[quote name='Kathryn' date='Jul 13 2007, 08:36 PM' post='161313' If you start now you'll just about have time to read through all 50- odd pages before it's time to leave tomorrow. K x The Batcave is amazing! A good laugh....but eyes tired and only managed a few pages. 'Holy DLA' has me laughing still... If the Batcave is reactivated count me in, please....now, to think of a name....that will give me something to do on the train! ddh

The Batcave? Hmm, colour me confused but intrigued! ddh looking for Batcave

Hiya peeps, Thank you to all who have kindly Pm'ed me their mobile numbers in case I miss the meet up at noon....you guys are great! And Bid, thanks for inspiring me to paint my toenails...they are drying as I write.... And Hev, you still didnt say why baddad needs a naughty step.... Clare, sugar, you had a change of heart yet? I'd like to meet you! ddh

I like the list, David - will be doing the same - thanks for the tips.... Hev, why does babdad need a naughty step? And Clare, if you are not feeling brave this time, maybe next time? Or..equally...you could try and come tomorrow? To be honest with you, Clare, I am not feeling brave either! And why is lya feeling tired? Off to eat lunch... ddh

Hello Mumble and to all who are on the meeting list of both times! After mad checking of train times and much cajoling of son (14 ASD) and daughter (17 TEEN!), we are coming along! We will be meeting at the 12.00 time - so ddh +2 - however, I expect the +2 may wander off and explore the sights and sounds of Greenwich...checking back with Mum as and when they need me (or money?) DMB is guiding us to the park and is it there that we will having a picnic? Do I need to invest in a flask - or will always-much-needed caffeine be nearby to buy? java script:add_smilie("","smid_7") laughing.gif Is there anything else I need to know or bring that I am unaware of? And, more importantly, I know that I am a more strange stranger who you will be meeting from an online site (only because I am new to the forum!), but would it be possible to exchange mobile numbers with someone in case plans go awry? Such as train arriving late, child dragging feet and refusing to go out the door, etc etc etc, so that I can meet up with you all if I do not get to the meeting point in time? Come on now, show of hands...java script:add_smilie("","smid_6") biggrin.gif I expect one person will do! And through pming.... Well, ladies and gents, I am excited about meeting you all and I will be easy to pick out (after I speak) being American! See you all soon! ddh

Hiya peeps, I only just saw this post (and very long thread) and was wondering if it is possible for me to come along as well? I tried like mad to follow the thread (havent got much time right this minute because I have to take son into doctor and send letter to LEA this morning) and I believe the Southern Meet is being held on the 14th (this Saturday) in Greenwich? And sorry, I dont know where that is! (London?) Excuse the stupidity, I am American. If I am welcome to come, please let me know the details and I will try my best to be there! Do I get to wear a pink hat? ddh

Hi to all who posted on this thread with their stories, I am sitting here on the computer writing letters to parent partnership, the LEA, the SENCo (with my son on this laptop nearby - he is signed off of school on medical leave because his weight dropped again - he is anorexic and autistic), and came onto this thread and my heart felt so pulled and hurt. I get up every day thinking I am living in an insane world as nothing ever seems to be get better - we have very small victories here and again - but we constantly fight for our son's education, we constantly have to entertain our son (he has a few 'friends' at school, but this has not been extended to out of school hours), we have no time for ourselves, ever. (No family here.) So, none of you are alone in what you face. I too bury myself in telly or snacks like lisa and try to escape the nightmare that is our lives, it is short-term escapism, and lisa is right - it is so necessary in order to refuel for the next battle. And Mel and JB, I so hope that your children will one day make friends and not feel so lonely and isolated from the rest of the world. Please do not despair, it breaks my heart. I so wish I could do something to take away your pain and restore your faith and hope for the future. I do not have any magic answers, but I do care very much. And if you are feeling low, do not hesitate to reach out. The responses you have received on this thread alone proves that we will be there. java script:add_smilie("<'>","smid_18") hug.gif ddh

Such good news! I am so pleased for you. Your daughter is in the same year as my son and, like her!, took a GCSE early in June. Was hers in Science too? And he is expecting As in those topics he will be studying for GCSEs! Are they in touch online somehow? lol Hope my son gets as good as results in his grades as your daughter did! And keep me posted on the GCSE result! Cheers! ddh

All the suggestions/ ideas in this thread were so good! - and my son (14ASD) used to go to the library every break and lunchtime too! It was like the rooms suggested here - quiet, teacher on duty, computers there and books to read, which he too enjoyed as a welcome break from the stress of class. But after two years of hiding in the library, he now goes out at breaks and lunchtimes surrounded by a flock of girls - something I never thought would happen. The first time I saw him outside with his 'gaggle of women' I nearly cried. I cannot say that it is always a bed of roses for him out there, but it is a start. Fortunately, they tend to hang out near the reception area (which has a big glass front and plenty of teachers going in and out - safer!) And my son does struggle to understand them (what lad wouldnt trying to make sense of girls?), but at least he is trying. What helped him to try with kids at school was a summer of Second Life (an online community), one of his many past obsessions. He could practice talking to people and hanging out with them, and it helped his confidence immensely. But, one little warning, if your son is as good at computers as mine is, keep an eye on what he gets up to! My son was able to copy others' work and one lad called him up on it and terrified my son so much he never went on Second Life again...and we had the down side of him not having an obsession to keep him 'grounded' for awhile. So take heart, Oxgirl, your son will find his way too. I feel for you though, as I have had years and years of sitting by and crying because he didnt get bday invites, or Christmas cards, or anyone calling, ringing, texting, emailing him, etc. (And they still do not come very often, but his 'gaggle of women' at school did give him a Valentine Day's card this year!) Fingers crossed for you both. ddh

My heart goes out to you and your son,krytalstps. I dont want to be the harbinger of bad omens or say what will happen to you, but our son is 14 and the bullying has increased since he left primary school. So I think Jsmum's advice about Kidscape is a good idea. The more you can educate your child about bullying and the different ways they can learn how to thwart it, the better. I will be spending the summer working on the same thing with my son! He has been severely bullied at school, and the staff are always quick to respond - but this all happens retroactively. I only hope that eventually the kids at school will get the message and stop bullying my son. As for leaving him to go out on his own, we struggle with that. When I take him out, we have young people calling abuse at him (gay, freak, etc), with his mother standing right there! I have yet to punch anyone's lights out, but I am close to it. I usually ignore their outbursts; I want to set a good example for my son because I know he would mimic my behavior, but boy, would I like to rip into some of these ignorant sods. How are we to allow my son to go off on his own when he suffers abuse when we are standing right there? We tried getting him to do kickboxing, but he did not have the co-ordination and he soon tired of it. I am not being very helpful, am I? Nor positive! I guess I just want to let you know that you are not alone in facing this, and hopefully I will one day learn how to allow my son more freedom and how to prepare him to be safe with that freedom. Watch this space! ddh