Valiant_Skylark

Hi NobbyNobbs, I have pm'd you. Thanks, VS

Thanks TheNeil, I will pm you. Sorry, didn't realise one shouldn't ask for such specific info on the list. VS

Hi Canopus, I was just a bit concerned because Dragon will need at least: an Intel Pentium 2.4 GHz Processor, 1.6 GHz dual processor core or equiv AMD processor; 1GB RAM; 2GB hard drive free space; L2 Cache 1MB. Texthelp is supposed to need Pentium 111 800MHz or above, 256 MB RAM or 512 MB RAM on Windows Vista, 600MB free disc space, sound card and good quality speakers. Now I'm a complete novice when it come to understanding computers so are most laptops capable of running all this plus Word, excel, powerpoint, digital camera, etc etc? Even the �400ish ones from computer stores? Sorry to be so "slow", but I really don't know what I'm doing. Thanks, VS

Hi All, Hoping someone can help with suggestions for makes/models of laptop to buy. DS2 needs to have a laptop (rather than an AlphaSmart because of visual problems). It would need to have a largish screen and be capable of running TextHelp and, additionally, possibly/probably Dragon Naturally Speaking. He has very poor motor skills, so a keyboard etc that would be easy to use would be imperetive. Internet access a must too. Does anybody run anything similar or am I asking the impossible? Any ideas welcome on what might work. Thanks, VS xx

DS1 (13, ASD & severe dyspraxia) has been doing RDA for over 6 years now. We have to pay �9 for a half hour with 2 or 3 other teens in the group, term time only. The instruction is very, very basic, but the effort the instructress puts into the social side is outstanding. DS1 is just learning to canter a few strides and has his RDA tests 1 & 2 and the Cub equestrian badge. DS2 (10) didn't make the RDA group as there was too long a waiting list. He has gone to a v good (but v expensive) BHS approved yard which does not do RDA, but really puts itself out to cater for any child or adult with a disability. We had a shaky start (the "normal" instructress was losing her confidence with DS2 - as DS2 could do things one minute... and then almost had no balance the next...) so DS2 was moved immediately onto about 12 or 15 x 1/2 hour lessons on the lunge with a BHSI, who spent much time getting his position absolutely correct and teaching him not to tip forward or backwards ie posture and balance training. Two years on he can ride a neat dressage test and even be well placed against able NT children. He has, so far, kept up in his mainstream lesson, where he has made several firm friends. He is able to canter and is starting jumping. He has his Cub equestrian badge. The yard continues to really think about how best to help him and have been absolutely brilliant. Dare I say - the ponies here are better schooled and have far better conformation than the RDA ponies, so they are actually much easier to ride. Of the two boys, DS2 is less affected by either ASD or dyspraxia, but he still comes out with some areas below 2nd centile that would affect his riding. DS2 has learned and progressed far more in 2 years than DS1 has in the 6 years, but we've spent about the same overall on each child's lessons so far. We did try DS1 at the other yard for a couple of lunge lessons with the BHSI, and she improved his balance and position dramatically in that short time. Bottom line is we can't afford to spend �60 a week on lessons for both boys anyway, and DS1 missed his RDA group! DS1 also found the language used at the BHS yard was too fast and complex, but I'm sure they would have adapted that had we stayed on for more lessons. Sometimes DS1 watches DS2's lesson and learns that way. I don't feel DS2 would ever have progressed anything like so far at RDA, but perhaps that is not the role of RDA overall anyway? I know DS1 has the potential to ride a lot better - as they always say:"Good horses make good riders" and, from experience, I'd say the RDA riders can't learn what they are never taught! You pays yer money and yer makes yer choice, I guess. Hope you find something you enjoy. VS

Depends which school you can get them into?! If you need to consider home-ed, there is a group online which communicates only by email and is only for people home-edding special needs children. The support is awesome. Google HE-SPECIAL-UK. Many on the list have children on the spectrum. If you are seriously considering the home-ed option, you may get a lot of help and advice there. VS xx

If you look at the list of pinned topics above, you will find the one labelled "Home education". Hope that will help a little to id the home-edders. VS xx

Oh dear! I didn't mean to cause people to fall out over this... DS simply is v black and white over his beliefs (lack of beliefs) & has an unbelievably inflexible attitude to the study of RE, which spills over and then totally ruins all the other subjects that he would otherwise concentrate on were that RE study put to the side until he was more ready to understand it all (and what it means to other people). He has been withdrawn, with my consent, from RE topics in the past because, as one particular school put it, he had "an aversion" to the topic and it was felt that this was the best way to move him on generally. We have made the decision to withdraw him from the Short Course GCSE (Yrs 9 and 10) and all peace has returned across the remaining curriculum. Eventually submitted the following letter: I am writing to ask that my son X be excused from both religious worship and religious studies with immediate effect as is my right under Section 9 (3) of the Education Reform Act 1988. This seems to have been accepted by the school and we all move, gratefully, on. Many thanks to those who offered help and support, including those who sent pms. VS

I've also had someone e-mail me with the following, but, again, I'm not sure it is the right law for mainstream secondary schools? ie s71 School Standards and Framework Act 1998 states: "Exceptions and special arrangements etc. 71 Exceptions and special arrangements; provision for special schools (1) If the parent of a pupil at a community, foundation or voluntary school requests that he may be wholly or partly excused? (a ) from receiving religious education given in the school in accordance with the school?s basic curriculum, (b ) from attendance at religious worship in the school, or (c ) both from receiving such education and from such attendance, the pupil shall be so excused until the request is withdrawn. (2) In subsection (1)? (a ) the reference to religious education given in accordance with the school?s basic curriculum is to such education given in accordance with the provision included in the school?s basic curriculum by virtue of section 352(1)(a) of the [1996 c. 56.] Education Act 1996, and (b ) the reference to religious worship in the school includes religious worship which by virtue of paragraph 2(6) of Schedule 20 takes place otherwise than on the school premises. (3) Where in accordance with subsection (1) a pupil has been wholly or partly excused from receiving religious education or from attendance at religious worship and the local education authority are satisfied? (a ) that the parent of the pupil desires him to receive religious education of a kind which is not provided in the school during the periods of time during which he is so excused, (b ) that the pupil cannot with reasonable convenience be sent to another community, foundation or voluntary school where religious education of the kind desired by the parent is provided, and (c ) that arrangements have been made for him to receive religious education of that kind during school hours elsewhere, the pupil may be withdrawn from the school during such periods of time as are reasonably necessary for the purpose of enabling him to receive religious education in accordance with the arrangements." Help, which one gets a very anti-RE ASD teen out of RE?! VS

I've had a quick look at this: http://www.dfes.gov.uk/disapply/disapp.shtml but it seems a lot more complicated than the ACE handbook makes out? Help. VS (Justamum, how, exactly, does one withdraw them for the reason you mention?)

It goes on basic living costs. Enough to splash out on a hobby or extras? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... VS

In my ACE handbook it states that parents can have their child disapplied from RE, but it doesn't say exactly what section of what act allows for this. Can any of you clever lot tell me where, in law, it says this then? If anyone has a link to the exact section, I'd be very grateful. (I'm thinking of years 9 and above here.) Many thanks, VS

Just to let anyone who still remembers us know that we have now been home-edding for a while. We found a 25 hour statement basically unenforcable on the ground, despite jumping through all the legal hoops to try to rectify this. A change of school fell through and the situation left was just not going to work, especially with the catatonic speed at which our LEA would work to sort out another school. (If they ever manage it, they can come back to me.) We've joined EO and an on-line list for home-edders with special needs kids, and the support is invaluable. Luckily DS just loves the subscription to Learnpremium and will now work from books with little fuss. We're plugging the problem of what to write and how to structure it with an excellent programme, "Writing Skills" by Diana Hanbury King that I had shipped in from the USA via "Better Books". This programme was recommended by an EP (private) who specialises in dyslexia. DS has made huge progress with "Writing Skills Book A", but there are still 3 more workbooks to go. DS usually hates workbooks, but he can see the progress he is making and is just so much more cooperative at home than he was at school. He types and we glue his paragraphs etc in. Home-ed is certainly easier for us than school, but I've always loved teaching, having taught as a private tutor for various subjects and more formally at a university anyway, in the past. Doing "privates" is like slipping into an old glove really - quite cosy! I'd forgotten how much fun learning can be - if it is geared specifically to the actual child. Rather sad at how sour the current education system made us... and how that defeated feeling crept up and numbed our brains so we felt, for so long, that any other option was somehow "wrong". Now we feel free-range rather than battery, and the enthusiasm for going out and about and learning is returning. Yeah. Anyway, it's good to be able to report that we are happy rather than distressed. Wishing all faces, old and new, all the best. Take care, VS xx

I looked into this at one point and spoke at length with one of a well-publicised provider's top bods. It wouldn't have worked for DS as the lessons are never differentiated - simply produced and fed out to the students with no individual modifications at all. They were also unable to help with the dyslexia or dyspraxia side of things, including being unable to deal with sorting out exam concessions like extra time, scribe/ammanuensis, laptop etc. At that time (about a year ago) they mainly dealt with children who had things like chronic fatigue syndrome, who simply need a system which enables them to replay lessons when they feel well enough. I don't know how much they have changed things now, but I agreed with top bod that it probably wouldn't be a good match for us. VS xx

This post took me back (mine now 10 and 13). Since going GF/CF a huge amount of faddiness has gone for us. Lunchboxes are now something like rice crackers/ gf crackers or gf bread toasted, small pot GF/DF "butter" (+ plastic knife) plus a dollop of "topping" such as salmon and mayo, tuna, sweetcorn and mayo, ham, egg mayo, marmite, roast chicken and mayo or roast chicken chopped. It could be left over roast pork or beef sliced thinly. To this I add either 2 GF/CF sausages or roast chicken portions or boiled eggs or whatever. I cook in batches and freeze in portions ready to take out and defrost in the fridge the night before (or on the morning if the weather is v hot). They then have a piece of fresh fruit (apple, pear, banana in a "bananaguard" to stop it getting squashed, grapes in a tub). Then for break time they have a small pot of say sultanas or raisins and cashew nuts, dates with stones removed or figs with top bit cut off, dried apricots. I might put in just one or 2 (if they are small) GF/CF biscuits as this stops them from feeling they are missing out on "tuck". It may be one of Sainsbury's GF/CF "Free From" bars. I did put in muffins for a while, but the boys have outgrown these and say they are not really hungry after eating their main lunchbox. Finally they have a small carton of pure juice (apple, orange, pineapple, cranberry...) and a bottle of water, which they refill from school during the day. I don't think my boys would have given up their awful diets unless they had gone GF/CF as they were too addicted and it was just too hard to give up the foods they relied on for their fixes. Now they eat far more widely and are never hungry at or on return from school. We freeze the juice cartons to keep the lunchbox cool and you can do the same with water bottles so that the food says fresh. Putting all the food in separately does mean a lot of wrapping portions but it means the boys can enjoy putting their own lunch together and be as faddy as they like with that bit! ASDA sell little tiny tubs which helps. I do have a lot of washing up! VS

Hi, You don't seem to have had any replies, so I'll chance my arm with a few tips: Work on gross motor skills too, through play, as these will ultimately help him with his fine motor skills. If you think your child has problems with fine motor skills you could ask for an Occupational Therapy assessment to identify exactly what problems he has got. The OTs would then make suggestions for therapy (or dismiss your concerns). We went NHS, but a private OT assessment might be around �380+ in my area, not including the initial "chat" (say �75). If you look at the website of the Dyspraxia Foundation, you will find references to several books which will have activities to help your son. He is still very young. I'd suggest starting with Carol Kranowitz' books (The Out-of-Sync Child and The Out-of-Sync Child Has Fun), as they have good all-round ideas for a young child. Madeleine Portwood's book on Developmental Dyspraxia has some basic exercises and another book, which I admit I haven't read, is "Take Time" (author?), which is supposed to be very good. Start looking into "Developmental Co-ordination Disorder (DCD)", "Dyspraxia" and "Dysgraphia" - just for interest. If problems persist, you could look up the percepto-motor programme, "Write from the Start" by Teodorescue and Addy(sp?), which the school may do in handwriting support classes or 1:1 with a TA? In the meantime, enjoy playing with lots of materials (see loads of ideas listed in Madeleine Portwood's book) eg play playdoh, mud pies, cooking (mixing, rolling and esp kneading dough), finger painting, peg boards, threading with really huge beads and thick shoe laces, large size lego, pouring sand and water, making sand pictures, making marks with thick chalks on walls and tarmac (where they will wash off!), hoopla, etc etc I used to go to a Toy Library and borrow different toys for a small fee. You will find they have loads of special needs toys (or will buy them in if you can argue their value), so this can be a way of getting hold of the things like wobble boards, pedal-goes, larger size dressing-up clothes and other more specific games for developing fine motor skills. Send off for the Rompa catalogue. It has all sorts of products which OTs use (eg slow-motion balls, easy-catch balls, gadgets to help exercise and strengthen hands etc), just so you know what is available, even if you decide you don't need to buy now. Above all, have fun with your son and make all tasks easy enough for him to succeed so that he wants to come back for more (so ignore the age recommendations on games if they depress you). Sorry, don't know any DVDs, but I would recommend shelling out for the CD-rom "WordShark" by WhiteSpace (see Dyspraxia Foundation again). We have a microphone into the computer and so each week I can programme smallest son's spelling lists into the "Private List" section (recording the words that aren't already in its extensive lists) and he then learns his spellings almost painlessly by playing the games and typing the spellings in. My boys both have dyspraxia (one severe and one much milder), but as both much prefer to type I refuse to flog the handwriting these days, and if they can keep a high spelling competence by taking the handwriting element out of the equation - so be it. If you come across anything that might help my boys (your info will ultimately be more up-to-date than mine, if you check everything out), please feed back to me, as any ideas gratefully received back. Good luck, VS

My 12 year old loved it. My 9 year old said it was "boring". I thought it was well done and would have grabbed my 12 year old's attention as a toddler. VS

Hi Fletts The Million Dollar Question for us all, I guess. I can't answer that yet, but hope someone will be along who can. Welcome. VS xx

Quick link to the Special Needs section of the Scout Association website: http://www.scoutbase.org.uk/ps/sneeds/index.htm VS xx

<'> <'> <'> Stressedmumto2 Your post brought a lump to my throat and tears pricking as I remembered many a time when I felt just like you did. Tough times...but the times do get a bit easier as the children get older and eventually have that much more understanding. In the meantime, it can be a real challenge. I don't know what is worse - dealing with the child... or the ignorance of the bystanders! Thank goodness for the quiet kindness of the lovely person who stopped to help so skillfully. What a wonderful lady. I hope you have a better shopping trip next time. (I'll admit, I ended up keeping shopping to a "smash and grab" in those early years; Perhaps internet shopping is less fraught? People tell me they spend less this way despite the delivery fee, but I've never got into it). Hope tomorrow is better. VS xx

Had to do a double-take when I noticed this subforum. I'll certainly be looking on here a lot. Brilliant idea. Thanks! VS xx

I recently looked up the website of the Scout Association, Gilwell Park Chingford, E4 7QW, and was really impressed with the amount of information available about how the aim is for scouting to be made accessible for kids with special needs. If you look under the special needs newsletters, for example, you'll find that there is all sorts of advice available to help leaders etc cope with kids with dyspraxia, autism etc. I was specifically looking for advice on how my son could continue to "keep up" with the badges that his peers are attempting. I now know that the awards are there for disabled kids too, and that they can be adjusted so that special needs kids can actually acheive them at their level. It looks like this has to be agreed, though, first. I know that what happens in practice may not live up to the website, but I don't see why people who would like their kids to join and do some sort of awards, but who are being put off by difficulties, shouldn't speak to the special needs part of the Scout Association for advice and support? Perhaps it might help? VS xx

Hi Nikki, Well I hope your own reply above has reminded you of just how much you have already dealt with (or had a really good bash at dealing with), so I have nothing but admiration for you as a mother and a Genuinely Brill Person! How you've managed to look into that lot already is really impressive; it took me years to sort it all out (lol). Ok, so the diet might have to be re-visited later, when you have had a bit of breathing space and young sons are a bit more able to understand the reasons. Don't feel guilty; just come back to it if and when the time is right? Know what you mean about the cleaner (we had less and less visitors as time went on too), but it IS getting better again slowly. Recently we hosted a "Chinese Takaway and Uno Night" for some friends from DHs work (v tolerant souls) and it went well. Both boys joined us and, although you could tell they were "different", they both behaved brilliantly. Well done with getting higher rate dla - no mean feat in itself. Another impressive success. (You should get mobility when the child is a bit older - We did, but just at lower rate). Anyway, I spent some of the dla money on things like a pyrolytically cleaning oven so that I could just set it to clean, go into another room with the boys, and forget. Just a little wipe over to clean off a teensy bit of ash and... voila! Worth every penny to me in reduced stress (Boys used to kill each other the minute I took my eyes off them, so the oven never got cleaned...). I also splash out on things like those throwaway dusters that almost seem to attract the dust with their static. They seem expensive, but work so well that I don't have to dust often. You may have to "treat yourself" to the odd one-off clean by a cleaning company. You take the boys off into another area and let them get on with the bits you never get around to. Same goes for the garden, if you have one. It'll get trashed when they are bigger, so resign yourself for now and aim to give it a make-over when they no longer need swings, climbing frames and trampolines. Tell yourself that not using all those chemicals on the weeds is better for their potentially dodgy immune systems anyway; you're doing the kids a favour. Re vision, OT, physio and orthotics, it sounds like you are "in the system" or could quite easily argue for referal, and I'm sure, therefore, you will find things improve over time. Not much comfort now, but, again, I'm impressed with how much of a handle you have on all this already. You sound really competent in dealing with stuff that would send the best of us under. Remember that when you have an awful day (and/or night!) You've done so well, if you feel like you are collapsing into a quivering wreck from time to time...perhaps you are entitled. More tips: Rice bags:My boys love going to bed and settle much better with their homemade "rice bags", which are heated in the microwave. They are great for all aches and pains. Instructions are on the internet for making them, but if you haven't much time you can even cheat and fill an old cotton sock with dried long grain white rice and just tie a knot in the top. I'd be careful with your littlies, though, that anything you use doesn't represent a choking hazard. Don't use a wheat heat bag if the boys have any problem with gluten (obviously). Our rice bags even went on the Yr 6 week away. When/if you make them, you might need to think about if you'll need several the same... just in case one becomes a favourite object. Solves a lot of problems if you have several bags and rotate them. Sheepskins: Both boys have one each and one sleeps on it, the other under it. The weight is reassuring on top, I'm told. Again, possibly not suitable until the boys are clean, dry and able to regulate their own body temperatures more reliably, but we love ours and they help with a good nights sleep. Good luck ( and glad you are feeling a bit better) Take care, VS xx

<'> <'> Your post, or most of it, could have been written by me too, a few years ago. You are definately not overstating how difficult it is!!! And I only have 2 boys and an NT partner... The good news is, that like Flora says, things do change (in fact, the only certain thing is change), but for us it took a long time too. My boys only really started to sleep more easily when their diet was sorted out (Gluten-free and Casein-free on the advice of the Autism Research Unit at Sunderland university and Mor EPA fish oils, which were "calming" for them generally). I've followed the diet (CF bit) and Mor EPA supplement myself and it does make me less anxious. When I have casein, my mind can race and I dream so vividly that I dread what nightmares I will have - so I'm not keen to drop off IYKWIM. Dropping these foods has made my boys lose all the bowel problems, so I'm not on Pooh-Patrol, as you describe. My eldest also stopped wetting on this diet, so it was great to have much less cleaning and washing. I never found that normal calming bedtime routine worked. Sorry. Did try for 18 months ie shutting down the whole household at kids bedtime and lying like corpses in the pitch dark, but mine were often unwell with "hidden" ear infections, which made them scream or fret or be grumpy all night, so we ended up at the out of hours GP 2 or 3 times a week to get antibiotics (or get them changed as they weren't working). Apparently lying down changes the fluid in the ears and so your child can experience pain at night, which isn't necessarily apparent in the day. Again, all these problems, including non-specific aches and pains, went away with the GF/CF diet, which made the boys easier to settle. When kids are little, they can't tell you what is wrong, esp if they have always been like that. I've seen other parents with little kids that I swear have the same "hidden" infections (temperature may well even be "normal", but a quick look in the ear by the doc will reveal a red and bulging eardrum), but the parents often don't even seem to consider physical causes as part of the problem. One child I know is now at a special school for SALT, but her mum "didn't want to bother the doctors" when her baby was constantly fretting and hyped....I still wonder. Another child had a parent who didn't want the "stigma" of a special diet (her words), but her son ended up at Juniors with behavioural problems, so she had him tested and he has the diet problems, allergies and will now be significantly deaf for the rest of his life. So please, please, please consider ruling out this sort of thing asap? Eldest son then became very routine-bound, insisting on a half-hour chat about all his school anxieties, and still stayed awake for hours, wandering the house and having falls. We had success with giving him story-tapes, which we got from the library, which he chose. In this way he was weaned off me and began to learn to at least entertain himself until he went to sleep. Youngest son was the ultimate Cling-on too. I think this was due to the constant low-level pain from his joints and ears and also due, in part, to his cerebellar and visual problems - he never felt "safe" unless he was supported by me. Basically, his balance was ###### and his vision so unstable that he didn't even know that grass was made up of "bits" (blades) until he got his blue glasses. His clinginess decreased only with vision sorting, OT for his dyspraxic traits, fish oils (Mor EPA) for the vision and anxiety etc. He was also plagued with aches and pains, so a visit to orthotics for feet helped, but the change to GF/CF made a huge change to how "hyped" he was. Eldest son has never managed to have an early bedtime; his brain just doesn't seem to let him. The saving grace has been that as he has got older, he has needed less sleep at the other end (ie been less tired at waking-up-for-school time), so he's less grumpy then. And of course he is better at monitoring what sets him up to find sleep difficult. When your children are a little older, you might be able to use something like the "Alert" programme (see your OT service) to help teach the boys to first recognise and then manipulate their own states of alertness (ie how fast their "engine" is running). This programme helped my son to work out the causes and effects of what he was doing at bedtimes. I think Alert could be used a lot more in ASD, as it has a lot of potential. The child will need help to recognise WHEN to use the program, and to go through the steps of using it, but the long-term benefit is worth it. (Alert is on my son's statement for use in school too). Finally, all the usual stuff like avoiding giving the kids sweets and sugar and additives etc is common sense and can make a huge difference. Dump it, and the gluten and casein if necc, and you'd be amazed how previously fussy eaters can improve. My 9 year old will even eat brussel sprouts without turning a hair these days. If we trangress, even hubbie can't sleep until 4 in the morning, so it is obvious how much these substances were affecting our sleep. Another very pro-active friend, with a 3 yr old ASD and 2 other boys, has already been to a sleep clinic. They added that the boys were watching far too much TV in the evening and computers were on all the time as the Dad works from home in IT. They were told to have all TVs and computers (and the like) off totally a few hours before bed-time. Melatonin was working for them last time I visited. If it is any consolation, I never found sending the boys to grandparents at a very early age that brill in terms of respite anyway: It took ages to pack all their stuff, the boys were so confused by the different "rules" and environment that they tantrummed for weeks afterwards and it took a while to re-establish control, and we parents were so used to being constantly woken up that we couldn't fall asleep as our sleep cycles were in tatters. Ho Hum! Practical suggestion for now: Have you got the DLA sorted out and carer's allowance for yourself? Get support to get DLA and get cover for the night care that you do. Give the DLA evidence that these problems are not sortable and not "short-term". Tip: I didn't get night-time DLA as I naively wrote that my son didn't go to bed until 2am and then only slept till 6 and needed support for the hours he was awake. Wrong. I should have said (the Careres Association told me years later when I had finally broken down) "I put my son to bed at 7pm, but he awakens x times for x minutes and needs re-setting [add everything you have to do])" Basically, you have to make it clear that the child IS put to bed (sleep) and then gets back up again. The dla forms were not designed with ASD kids' problems in mind, so that's where you need to be very careful to use words that will get you the right dla. Ring the Carer's Association to get up-to-date advice. I've never got higher rate care, but I feel that I was short-changed for many years because of this quirk. Once you have the DLA you can pay for what your child needs... and if that is a cleaner or a bit of bought-in help, it is up to you. If you go GF/CF and can provide the test results, don't forget to add this to the list of things you do extra for the dla forms. Goodness, what a huge essay! Can't think of anything else to add for the mo. Big Hug and I will be keeping everything crossed that things get better for you. VS xx

Many thanks, JenRose. A large part of our problem is the school's lack of pro-active strategies in the first place (to avoid the rumbling stage completely) and then lack of empathy in picking up the rumbling that they induce - so the anger escalates, esp once son is "out" of school, either in Homework Club or at home. We are left to deal with a very uptight pre-teen and I can't see a solution unless I can get a change of school etc, which my supporter and I are working on! And yes, the school have been given literature on the "Rage Cycle" and training on the "Alert Programme", which, in theory, should have given them at least some tools to cope; I'm not convinced they "get it" in real life, though, as they blunder on making howlers of mistakes. Eldest son was thrilled with his e-mail and sent me one right back. I think I will try to encourage him to communicate with the suggestions you list, but I think eldest son is now "giving up" trying to tell people what he needs, as the said school just says, "Tough - you have to do it our way" and ignores what he says anyway. Aspie hell. It is taking time to sort anything, despite meetings and letters galore, so your Help2 tips might provide some Emotional Sticky-tape for the horrible, horrible "in-the-meantime". Thanks again for digging out those tips ffor us, VS xx