paulathomson

oh yes i know the feeling.. my sons school discreditted me so much that before he was dx'd they sent me on a parenting course.. one day a week off work for 11 weeks where i learnt nothing as i had been on one before.. today ive had meeting at school with senco, dysfluency woman and teacher.. they were informed last week that my son has been dx'd AS.. did the senco know? no.. and she tried to make me out to be a bad parent..again. i tried to day that the teachers who finish my son's sentences are actually making him worse because he is frustrated by the end of the day and senco's reply was that if it was at the end of the school day, then naturally the teacher has a right to finish his sentences...as teacher would have had a long day and is tired.. i was not at all pleased and replied.. that is not the point... that is like saying that i am not allowed to be rude to you during the school day however when my childs teacher is has not let my child out on time.. then i can be rude to teacher as it is at the end of the school day and im tired.... im so wound up tonight.. i thought that having a dx would make things easier... now i think i might have been naiive.. my advice.. big glass of wine...

i cant give you any advice as im quite new to the whole asd/school thing. but i just wanted to say that i am thinking of you and send you an angel.. hope it works out for you and your son. <'>

hi, im sorry to be rude but how did you go about getting a private assessment and how much did it cost? im thinking of this as an alternative route for myself.

yes this is a good idea.. the school are required to 'respond' to your request within 15 working days. i would write a letter stating that you submitted a request for your child's school file on .....date and under the data protection act 1998, you expect to receive a response within 15 working days. additionally, you should be given access to these files within 40 working days...

its only 15 days to receive a response... that isnt necessarily the time when you can get access to the files... this is 40 working days.. i am going through this at the moment. i understood from one website that it takes 15days.. and have challenged the school about this.. obviously i made myself look a bit foolish because i hadnt checked it correctly. the data protection act itself gives you the correct details. hope this helps

hi, like everyone said you will meet some lovely people on here and its great for advice. i too have always known that i am different and unable to fit in sometimes. over the years though i have become adept at being 'normal' and its my anxiety that lets the world know that im not as normal as the rest. my son has been dx'd with aspergers and now i am seeking my own help. i am mainly getting referred to psych for anxiety but i will ask for an assessment of adult AS. without this site and my son's fab consultant, i would never know why i am like am i and would probably spend the rest of my life in turmoil. now i finally feel as if i fit somewhere. hope you get sorted soon. best wishes. paula

yes my ds who is 9 has strong bo when he is anxious only. funny though because when he's been running around outside on a hot day he never smells like he does when he is anxious. the more hysterical he is.. the worse the smell. he has his own roll- on, i know he doesnt really need it but if he gets anxious.. it helps to mask it.

both my son and myself love music and we both have a tendancy to play the same fave track over and over and over and over.. the rest of the house get fed up with us. my son comes home from school sometimes saying that his ''eyes have been sweating because the songs were sad'' i think this applies to the words. one specific song he cried to was michael jackson's ' heal the world'- which they were doing for harvest assembly. another was ''streets of london''. dont know who sand this but both me and son were crying in the harvest assembly. i have a current track by hans zimmer that i replay over and over and i cry every time because it is so powerful- chevaliers de sangreal. also when we go to the cinema as a family, its always myself and my son who sit there crying and i think the soundtrack has something to do with that.

i filled out my ds form and used a link from this forum. it is the cerebra website and there is a pdf that you can download which will tell you exactly what to put in each section. i had my hv check it over and she said that more info is better than not enough. but the cerebra website is by far the best bit of help i had...

i dont have asd but i have quite bad anxiety. this is what i find. at periods of high stress and ultimately exteme anxiety i am unable to give eye contact. noise and too many visual stimulus makes me feel very sick and dizzy. i was alays told that it is because at times of high stress your senses are heightened and you are more aware. this would make sense in your case because if you have sensory issues anyway.. at times of high stress when your sense are more sensitive.. an overload is inevitable. i hope that makes sense.

im not sure of all the technical criteria..it was camhs.. i think it helped because i kept diaries for about a year of all his behaviuor and what he says etc. but he is very very sociable.. i think that because he will hug strangers and and interrupts strangers/friends/neighbours etc he can be too sociable..inappropriate and that has something to do with it. he can have his moments where he will refuse to speak/co-operate with say dentists/schools but in the main he is sociable.

my NT daughter says ''dressing downg'' still for dressing gown a couple of years ago she said to my mother whilst on the phone...'' nanny.. when i kiss mummy she has whiskers'' a few weeks ago my AS child © and older son (M) were in on way home from tesco and were playing guess the animal..this made me laugh.. C- is it a monkey? M- no its not a monkey.. but its a part of the monkey family C- is it the mummy, daddy or the baby?

my ds has just been dx'd with As and he is very very sociable.. could you ask to see a different specialist?

i think this is a fantastic idea. i will join..

ooohh i know this only too well... my ds is definitely no angel.. oooh not by half.. and he is able to tell a lie..but he is not able to either keep as secret or think on the spot. so i know that if he is lying.. he will end up telling me the truth any how'cos not being able to keep things to himself. or he if i put him on the spot when telling a porky.. he doesnt know what to say and starts changing what he said and gets confused by his own whopper.. if this makes sense. so when he told me that his teacher accidnetly gave him a nose bleed ( he brough his pe kit home on a monday covered in blood) and teacher had a go at me the next day because it wasnt in school.. i told her the reason. then she lost the plot with me and got all angry and said right in front of him that he is lying.. i asked my son what happened and if he was lying he would have crumbled with both of us fixated on him.. but he stood his ground in front of her.. so i know he was telling the truth. plus the pe kit was full of blood. she still denies it to this day. but why on earth not just say.." im really sorry ..i had no idea that i had caused this.." i wouldnt have bit her head off it was an accident... they must think that because a child with as has difficulties making themsleves understood and interpretation ( mine does anyway) that they can use that as a " get out of jail free card" when they mess up. i hate the lies.. drives me insane. how old is your child?

thank you everyone for your replies.. it feels quite surreal still.. not fully sunk in. it sounds really daft to say that but even though i knew camhs suspected it and i knew they were probably right.. it still doesnt prepare you for the dx. i think it feels strange because all this time its been me against everyone else trying to prove to school that they are wrong... my child isnt naughty/lazy/attention-seeking/lying and everything else they have called him, but a child who is trying his hardest to fit in with normality...but now i have a dx.. that will all change. i think i could find this next bit quite hard.. the continuing battle with the school.. because i know up until now i have had no real 'proof' and therfore had no plausible reason why he needs help. and despite playing detective for last year, i have been as nice to the school as i possibly can. now though, im nervous that if they continue their obstructions even after dx.. then i will get very very cross and things will turn ugly. maybe though im worrying for nothing... as usual.. after all.. my mp is doing a marvellous job and already the school are playing ball.. slightly.. i have sent off for dla last week after weeks of agonising whether to apply or not..but hv suggested i did. i took everyones advice.. from posts on here.. and sent recorded delivery and photocopied every page before sending. many many thanks to everyone again.

if someone used the elbow technique on my son i would have them up by the scruff of the neck! seriously though.. i dont know what this technique is but from what you have said it is physical restraint. i would imagine that unless you have given your sonsent either verbally or in writing then nobody in the school should have permission to physically handle your child..i could be wrong but this is the angle i would work from..i thought it was illegal to 'touch' anyone's child and without consent. i would be intersted to know if this is the case or not... if anyone knows... information that could be useful someday

sounds fishy...i wouldnt touch it with a barge-pole if its being offered readily...but then im a cynic...

i think its the fact that they lie and try and wheedle their wasy out of it that makes us more angry. i think if they just put their hands up and said.." yes this did happen.. and it was because of this... and im sorry.. " it wouldnt be half as bad.. at least then events can be accounted for and parents/teachers/schools can move on and make sure that there are alternative arrangements in place for eventualities. but they dont admit anything and then lie their way out it. this is worse becuase it just adds more fuel to the fire..the child is made to look like a liar or an idiot.. the parents get more cheesed off and in the end nothing ever gets resolved and the problems continue.. im really seething about my sons school at the minute... same old same old....

i suffer terribly with panic attacks and i know how my body works and why it has the sensations it has when im in an anxious state/panic attacks.. but sometimes the more i think about it the worse i become and im NT. this is not always the case and deep breathing exercises are on the whole beneficial. i think that it is worth a try. it might work for your child it might not. and at the end of the day you havent lost anything and if it does help then it will be a plus.

my ds had appointment with Camhs today. he was diagnosed with aspergers and add..the consultant who we saw last time was lovely and is going to phone school for me today as they still wont give my son any help without anything in writing. she is going to do this but is away this week so said will phone and explain to headteacher until she can get the paperwork done. well i dont half feel relieved... maybe school might be more supportive now...wont hold my breath too long though..

arent they thick? i couldnt believe this when you say a TA asked if there was something wrong with him...the main problems at school are lack of communication...some teachers thinking that they know better ( sorry to any teachers on here i dont mean all only a minority) and most of the time denial.. i hate school for what they put him through and the practises they allow..no wonder my child - and others- hate it too....

i am crb checked... i used to work as a bus escort transporting children.. including my own to military schools in germany. also been crb checked last year because we live on military bas in sandhurst.. so that would be no problem... i would love to go in and supervise him at lunchtimes.. doubt they would alloe me to though given that i would take notes on all the justices that go on.. not just for my own child but for other parents..oops

im rubbish advice and never take my own... which is why i end up shooting my mouth off in anger... my first reaction would be exactly the same as yours... go in and plant her one... seriously..i would clam down as much as possible so i was simmering and not boiling... i would probably write down on paper the main points of criticism and what you expect to be done about it... sorry... not brilliant advice.. but am thinking of you all the same.. i am very similar position at moment... as are many i think.. i really want to punch my son's previous teacher's lights out.. because its her that has caused problems all last year and she's still being included as ''she knows him well'. as much as i would like to plant her.. i have to tread carefully as my other child has just gone into her class...

i cant even imagine what this must be like for you.. must be very very difficult...