witsend

Hi Paul, you prob know this anyway but just wanted to say the prevoius school nurse should of devised a care plan for your son which should have been passed on to the new school nurse to ensure continuity of care, might be worth asking about this and asking to see it. Also when considering his medical/nursing needs at school some of those needs will be social and psychological and these need to be taken into account along with the physical, (just thinking about the pad wearing here, and ways to contest it if you don't agree it's appropriate). hope next week is better for you and yours - take care Luv Witsend.

Just read throught the last few posts . Wow Elaine that is weird!! Quite nice to know others are having these surreal conversations though . It is a bit like we're all living in a parallell universe at times, and Amen to that eh? Luv Witsend.

Hi Hev, yeah I'd say you're about right with your estimate. I made a will when I got divorced so the cost was just part of that but i think it was around ?70.00. Did you know you ccan actually get make a will sets from WH Smith for around a tenner I think, they are still legal and everything. Or sometimes the local papers advertise free make a will wekk so you could look out for that. I think it is very important to make a will, even if you don't have much to leave, it makes things a lot simpler for whoever is left behind dealing with it all and most importantly for me it made my wishes clear as to what happens to my kids, this was especially important for me as I'm a single parent. Don't put it off, 'cos once it's done you can have peace of mind and forget about it. Take care - Luv Witsend.

Thanks for the replies - he did walk home on Friday! I was a bag nof nerves until I saw him lolloping up the street, hair sticking up and a thousand things in his arms then the relief (and pride) was enormous!! I asked him if he'd walked home with J ( a sort of freind he'd planned to walk home with) but he said no because j was late out and he didn't want to be late home because he knew I'd be sat here worrying!! This just sums him up so well! Whatever his faults I love him to bits! Luv Witsend.

Hi reuby, just wanted to say I hope things have calmed down a bit now and you're feeling a bit better. I find Dr's surgeries (and the waiting) hell on earth! Ear infections (viral or otherwise really do make you feel ###### miserable) so perhaps that's contributed to it all today eh? Hope tomorrows better - take care Luv Witsend.

Good things are progressing - good luck Luv Witsend.

Hi Paul, my first thought is where is the school nurse in all of this?? A bit noticable by her abscence I'd say! Could you get your sons paed, GP and or school nurse to all liase and then fill the school in with what to expect from his medical conditions, sounds like the school don't have the confidence to deal with him appropriately but this could be because they're a bit scared by the situation perhaps? Sounds like they need some education on your sons problems. Good Luck Witsend.

HI Reuby, sorry haven't got long here got to pick son up in a minute but <'> to you and hang in there. I do know how you feel we had similar low point recently and I thought it was never gonna end and felt it was all spiralling out of control. Things have got better for the timebeing at least and they will for you too <'> Will try to post again later to see how you're doing - can you escape from the house for a little while and go for a walk or something?? Sorry again have to go now, take care of yourself and get a bottle of wine in for tonight? Luv Witsend.

Hi - for ages now my son has been saying I'm not letting him grow up etc...wanted to start walking to school on his own so a few weeks ago I agreed, now he walks by himself a couple of times a week and so far so good, it's boosted his confidence and there's been no probs. Now he wants to walk home by himself too . For some reason I find this one harder to deal with. It's not far from school, there is one busy unmanned road to cross which worries me, but he manages this ok when walking to school, but...I don't know really why I feel so nervous about him walking home alone! I suppose at least when he's walking to school I know that's where he is going, whereas if he's walking home he could get distracted and I'll be sat here going out of my mind waiting for him, but is that my problem not his? The other thing is he's been having hassle off a couple of boys in his class recently both of whom walk home together his way and I'm worried trouble may start on the way home. Been avoiding the subject and making excuses for a while now but can't do it much longer..........What does anyone think? Luv Witsend.

Fantastic!

At last, finally about time too eh? Hope it goes well now you've finallly got there Luv Witsend.

Hi Bevalee, <'> to you what a naff situation! Sorry missed you're previous posts re this so forgive me if I'm saying stuff you've already tried. Have you explained all the problems with transport etc and how you feel about stopping medication to camhs? Surely any 'treatment' plan for R has to be with your support and input (or am I being naive here?) Do you have the option of the camhs team from your sons school area getting involved so they could see him at school instead of shipping him home every week? And if you're not happy with what they are proposing and don't feel you have a good relationship with them then can't you/R just not attend and then go back to the private psych. What does R want to do about it, because if he is unhappy with camhs approach then surely at his views have to be taken into account, don't they? Could anyone from the school help with supporting your case? Sorry I know this may well be stuff you've already gone through - really hope you get it sorted soon. Take care Luv Witsend.

I think a lot of people tend to be a bit snobby about BB. I was glued to celebrity one recently, I think the dynamics of peoples relationships and their recations to situations are fascinating and at times it's very very funny. My fave bit from most recent one was whgere George Galloway who was seething after some ridiculous row sat saying 'I am serene, I am totally serene', then Pete Burns added 'So am I, I'm totally serene' then George looked at him dismissively and said in that deep scottish voice..'Yes but you're on medication'. Think you had to be there, but it still makes me chuckle now. Luv Witsend.

Elaine my son says lots of stuff v similar to yours, I can never help laughing it's all so surreal isn't it? When D was detting in the bath the other night he turned to me and said..."I think it's best to be honest with you about this... I'm dead!" ...... love them. Witsend.

Hi all - posted not too long back about how dreadful things were here (major meltdowns, SATS, high school transfer etc...). Wanted to say as far as things with my son go things haven't been as bad, meltdown free for a week now, high school worries sorted for now at least, SATS no longer the main focus of every day! Amazing how things do change from week to week but........... now the 'ordinairy' world is biting me on the bum. Car broke down last week, and not only this but it broke down as I was meeting someone, the first date I've been on since divorce 18 months ago!! The car broke down very elegantly just before the pub car park where I was meeting date and so his first glimpse of me was as a woman behind the wheel of a knackered car with four strong men valiantly pushing me up the slight incline to the car park!!! Then on saturday morning found our last guinea pig looking poorly and had to take her to the vet to be put down , my sister had to take us to vet due to lack of transport so there we were my sister, me, 11 yr old and 3 yr old with poorly guinea knowing the end was nigh - you can imagine eh? And we had to wait an hour!! Talk about adding insult to injury. To top it off the nursery (who have been for a while 'concerned' about little 'uns behaviour have asked me to meet with nursery SENCO to discuss things further! So here we go again??!! On the bright side my sisters hamster who escaped 11 days ago and has been on the run ever since has finally been found alive and well in her wheelie bin . Is it just me living a strange life or what? Just realised this may not qualify as 'general discussion', prob should have put it in 'off topic', not got used to the newer forum yet. Anyway take care everyone. Luv Witsend.

Hi again and thanks for the replies - Glock welcome to the forum, there are lots of fab people with good advice here (unfortunately don't feel like one of them at the moment! ). Sorry to say things are not much better here at so far so haven't the time, space or energy to post much more right now, Glock your phrase of 'perpetual tension' sums it all up really well for me at the moment. But thank goodness for this site where at least you know for sure people are in the same boat and really understand. Have to go now, still dealing with the fallout of various meltdowns. Luv Witsend.

Hi thanks for the replies, jaded - for various reasons the high school I decided on was the only option because up until now no one has suggested a special school would be right for him. Now that this has ben raised as a possibility I have found there is a special school in the locality but don't know much about it yet, read the ofsted report today and a quater of the kids attending this school are autistic, may have to find out more. Also there is a good special school further away (mostly residential) but this is independant so presumably I'd have to pay fees. Bullett - the school have said they are not going to enter him for the literacy SATS bt will do so for the others, also my son is saying he wants to do the SATS and is now really upset they won't enter him for the literacy one. He puts a lot of pressure on himself and can't reason with him about it. Hailey - trying to reach our paediatrician is abit like getting an audience with the pope and even then he's not much use. Kathryn - I think you are right all the talk of high school etc and the changes ahead definately do have a lot to do with whats happening, but I've tried to reassure him as much as possible not easy when I feel unsure about it all myself He's got another 9 months before he moves schools I can't bear to think he's going to be this stressed for that long, but like I say just don't know what else to do to help him. How did you manage with your daughter during this time? Probably it's just a bad week and things will hopefully improve soon and I can get some space to think things through more rationally. Luv Witsend.

So glad it's working out for you and kai Luv Witsend.

Hi all - haven't been around much for a while been having a really tough time with son. Recently had terrible meltdowns and I'm really worried about him. He says he is stressed all the time at school but puts an act on so they will not know. At home his behaviour has been off the wall, alternately crying and being aggressive, this week he locked himself in bathroom just before school and threatened to self harm/suicide again and I had a really hard time trying not to just collapse sobbing myself. He has been threatning towards his 3 year old brother and really terrified him last night throwing things etc..I had to come downstairs with the little one wnd order older son to stay upstairs. When he calmed down he kept saying sorry, but he seems constantly on edge and I don't know how to help him anymore, I'm exhausted. I went in to see the head at school today to talk about SATS (which I think may of triggered some of the latest outbursts) as they have been practicing them this week and she was v sympathetic but there seems to be little she can do! My son is now attending CAMHS once a week but is still undergoing assessment so that's not helping much as far as I can tell. Have arranged to speak with ed psych again but that's not til march. Have got guy coming from parent partnership tomorrow to discuss sons most recent statement and have talked to head again today about secondary schools. Having reached a descsision to send son to local mainstream hihg school I'm now having second thoughts in light of his recent behaviour, the head is also dubious he will cope with mainstream!! I just feel so overwhelmed with it all at the moment, I don't know what else I can do to help him, he seems so angry sometimes and threatens to do awful things, yet other times it's like nothings happened and he seems OK. Sorry this is all a bit long and rambling - thanks for listening. Witsend.

Hi Lynne, I know how you feel, I'm sure most of us on here do! My Dads never really got it and my sister who is lovely and has made the effort to understand gets it in an academic sort of way but not in a day to day practical sort of way if you know what i mean?? I think it often comes back to that old if you can't see the disabilty it doesn't really exist or can't be that bad kind of thing. We experiance this time and again from the so called professionals. I'm pretty convinced now that the only people who really understand are those who live with it! That's us I suppose! Thank God for tyhis site then eh? Take care Luv Witsend.

I remember this thread, I saw that Donald was back on telly and tghought how weird is that!! It's like we conjured him up. Now he's probably gonna make a big comeback and viper........YOU DIDN'T GET HIS AUTOGRAPH!!!!! Luv Witsend.

Glad you're back, glad things are getting better. Take care now luv Witsend.

Thank you all for your replies and support. It is now eleven days since I smoked and today I am feeling good about it, really really hope I can do it this time. Am eating an enormous amount and will soon prob be able to roll everywhere instead of walk but guess I'll just have to tackle that one next! Thanks for the quote thing Mossgrove - made me laugh - though actually uncannily accurate in parts Jill and lindy-lou Good Luck for the future when you feel the time is right I'm sure you will do it too ( well if I can.... ). Cheers you lot, you're fab. Witsend.

Nice to have an official off topic area, feel justified in posting about this now!! Gave up the fags on New Years Eve, haven't had one since was feeling very pleased with myself and not struggling too much until tonight!!! Don't know why am know dying for one Won't have on 'cos too late to go to shop now kids in bed but if someone walkedd in and offered me one I know I'd accept, ###### disappointed in my lack of willpower now Anyone else given up?? Luv Witsend.

Sorry just realised how recently you joined! Welcome to the forum! Sorry not to have given any advice and to just have moaned instead!! Re your other post - I think lots of us here have been through awful doubts, fights and confusion on the road to diagnosis, it is not easy. Stick with it, there's always someone here to help and listen. Luv Witsend.