lsw146

Could the Unstoppable Force Meeting The Unmoveable Object be why my daughter has difficuty in transfering skills and knowledge. We will be working on homework and she will insist she can't do it but a few weeks before we will have worked on the same sort of problems just laid out differently on the page. It is like any change in the way she has learnt to remember or work on something means she has to learn it all over again. This happens particulaly in maths and science. In science she sees the experiments they do in isolation, she doesn't think about the skills and methods invovled, so each time she stresses about doing it right even though she has used the same method before. Does this make sense to anyone?!

I had a similar experience. I was waiting for the call to tell memy best friends Mum had died and B was having a meltdown over something really insignificant so I asked her to be quiet and think about how our friends family were feeling. She replied "at least she will be in a better place" and continued to rage about her problem!

Loulou this could have happened to anyone whose kid was screaming at them. The fact that you were trying to protect him and yourself shows love so try not to feel guilty. Hey I just crashed into the back of someones car because I was thinking too hard about home and she ended up looking after me! Keep an eye on the bleeding, although it is probably helping release the pressure from him nailbed. NHS direct can be very reassuring. i hope we can too.

Thanks Paula and everyone else. I had forgotten how great this forum was. Have been back on while now and it brings such support and relief.

Thanks for the 'laugh' Paula B has an IQ of 130 but she won't be bringing in the big bucks anytime soon. Mind you I would swap everything for a day without tears and screams at the moment.

I am going to find out the results of a thyroid scan today but I know they will say everything is alright btu I have been backwards and forwards for years with severe tremor (which does run in family not this bad), irritabiltiy, bed sleep, followed by overwhelming exhaustion, night sweats reallyheavy periods, IBS, Raynauds... Now I am on prozac bu this made the tremor even worse so I havereduced the dose and the anxiety and lethargy are returning. can'tbeat onefor making the other worse.

Fortunately no one was hurt but this on top of a couple of near misses recently must have been sent as a warning. I know that what you see up front doesn't always tell you what's underneath my daughter being a classic example but I wonder .if I am making things worse by being so strung out? I keep reassuring myself that I trying my best

we haven't had a diagnosis because of the myths. Our psychologist was a Mum at the same school she went to and decided that she always spoke to her appropriately if she saw her in the hall?! However she ran up to girl she hasn't seen in a while (they are now in year 7) shouting her name over and over and then said "I know someone in year 7 who is taller than you" Again stress or hyper emotion plays a big part. I call it the Autistic switch> I know some of things that turn it on but haven't found muchto turn it off again.

surprisingly better morning after a terrible dayyesterday. Everyone at school on time andthen I crash into the car in front!!! at a jundtion. Woman mad at first and then as my tears flowed very nice ,asked if I had a lot on my mind "YES!" . Nicely told me I shouldn't be driving but I asked what choice you have but to keep going. But I have made a choice and will be seeing m y GP at lunchtime. I thought I could do it all but until we have better handle on things at home maybe I should stop trying so hard? Feel like a failure watching everyone else coping and me not. Also wonder how I expect my daughter to be less anxious whne I am obviously a bit of a wreck myself.

My daughters blue cushtie lives with her (she would take it to school if it wasn't so big and attention attractiong) We got hers from www.iwantoneofthose.com For info, we have gently hand washed hers. We didn't put it in water but had it under a running tap with some hand soap. It dried nicely on a warm radiator on top of a towel. She had been freaking because she had it at a restaurant / birthday party and someone spilt coldslaw on it!!

I am so sorry your going through this. We keep being to l dB is 'fine in school' but have screaming , crying etc every morning and evening. B recounts stories and she sound sas thogh she is being rude when she is just being B. Does the classroom assistnat know he is on meds? Sounds like she thinks she will be the miracle cure?! My sisters are a bit like this. She should really be listnening to her OT. If she doesn't think the programme she has been given is stimulating or effective enough then she needs to talk to you and the OT not just change it (having worked with OT's and kids this is what I would have done) Good luck.

Curra, thanks for your reply. Let me know how you get on aswell. we are also looking at getting risperdral to try and curb the anxiety and behaviour. We have tried lots of other approaches but senior school has really triggerd stuff off. Goood Luck. Jo

Sorry your safety net is being removed. It sounds as though she has been brilliant. We are having our first meeting with a psychiatrist on Friday ( although we've been with CAMHS for 6 yrs) but it will be with a locum because out of the 3 psychs available 1 is sick and 1 has been 'asked to leave'. So with this sort of pressure who can blame them for moving on.? Good Luck and hope your year is better than the last.

PS Love the attitude Phasmid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I can I use the parent and child spaces mainly to protect others cars from damage when the over exuberant opening of doors when trantrums hit. Sometimes I drop them at there dancing lesson and do the shopping, I always expect to be challenged when I get back to the car and want to explainn that I have have got kids I just need to go and get them - but when you think about it it sounds really lame. Then again one look inside the junkyard that is my car proves the existance of kids At the moment my 11 year old is still quite small but even when she is bigger a big space would come in handy. don't know whether she would qualify for blue badge (on a bad day yes but a better day?) I think if they put parent and child spaces further away from the door people would abuse them less. For me being close is good but having room to get in and out is the most important thing

Keep talking and telling people how you are feeling. Remember it is alright to look after yourself and ask for help. I find talking to my GP is really good even if for only 5 minutes but it depends hwo nice your doc is. Hope things get smoother soon.

Thanks so much for your advice. Thankfully honesty is not something I shy away from. I think our psychologist was getting quite bored of the detailed descriptions of B's behaviour (she is currently refusing to get out of the car because I told her I didn't have enough money for chips or extras and now she says she can't move or eat because it will waste money!!!) Our psychologist is convinced she is not at all on the spectrum but now we have had some self harming, wetting (she is 11) and a panic attack (the things senior shcool can do to a child?!) she recognises there is definately a problem. The passive at school thing has always been a problem in getting them to understand but now she is at seniors some of her more behaviours are becoming more apparent. Well I am going to make the younger one tea and see how long I can hold out before having to go to the car.

After nearly 6 years our daughter finally has a psychiatry app. on Friday (all be it with a locum due to staff shortages). The letter suggests nothing of what to expect and this sounds stupid but my real worry is that B will be wonderful at the appointment and we will still get no action. Don't know what advice i am asking for really. we are mainly (I think) going to talk about respidral as we havew tried evrything else for anxiety and behaviour other than meds and it is alll still escalating. Just needed to post to the lsitening ears out there. Thanks Jo

don't mind them under my feet but Sundays are worse than school days. doesn't matter what routine we try to put in place to relieve her anxiety she always has a major meltdown.

soldiers

well done the puffins. Thanks for giving us all a smile

We were having a really dificult morning, Throwing screaming, refusing to dress but i somehow turned her anxiety to my advantage and I now (3 hrs later) quite proud of myself. B is laso really anxious about looking neat and being on time so very quietly I kept slipping in "we will be late if" and finally at 8:20 she got dressed AND made her packed lunch. We felw into the car (me in a half dressed unwashed state, her younger sister asking if she had been good and B saying over and over "Am I late...." I was able to tell her that the bell had gone but registration hadn't started and despite feeling awful that she was pale and shaking sent her aff into school on her own. I know that 3 o clock will bring the result of such a plan this morning but she goes to my Mum's tonight!! Sounds awful and maybe making things worse ? but I know B had to go to school and that anything could have set her off and will again so I just tried to use it to my advantage. Now I really must go for that shower I didn't manage to get earlier!!

I try to bite my tongue when I see parents etc struggling when out but sometimes I just want to empathise with them. What I forget is when I say it can be so difficult etc, they could be thinking "what do you know!" This came about with a parent I have known for ages at an after school activity. Her son was really playing up and trying to get out of the room so whilst Mum came from one direction I stood in the doorway to block his path out. she was being great but telling me to be careful not to get kicked . It wasn't until I said that I was used to similar challenges myself and told her why, that she opened up to my help. for all she new I was another do gooder who would only make things worse. we now chat and she offers me great advice as well. people always tell me I think and talk too much but if I don't tell others (hopefully politely) what I think I can't expect them to know. ( Sorry laughing at the fact the B always thinks everybody should be thinking exactly as she is at exactly the same time and refuses to believe otherwise - that Theory of Mind thing ?!)

Our psychologist keeps going on and on about ingoring and how "SHe KNOW's" how difficult it can be when your in public. For years I having been telling everyone that I don't care in public, I can walk away or leave her screaming and kicking (as long as she doesn't hurt others) If people look it is only their time they are wasting, if people comment I reply that B has severe anxiety and it is helpful just to leave her alone to work it through. I always try to think what I would have wanted people to do or say if I had tried to help or commented before I had my own wonderful and challening child. I hoped that people would look for the best in me and realise that any insult came from not understanding and not malice. It is at home with no escape and a carefree younger daughter to protect that I feel worst. They say ignorance is no excuse but sometimes I think it really is and I jsut try to share my knowledge and experiences in the hope that others will learn. (ooh get me on my high horse ) Feeling so much better for coming back to the forum after too long a break!

Hi, feeling for you all after another exhausting morning of screaming and throwing. Can't find any motivation but I know I need to get the house in order! Managed a load of washing and breakfast so far! My girls are going to Grandma's tonight but I am already feeling guilty because my youngest Nt is so fed up with our eldest (still fighting for a dx!) and would rather have a night without her. But my husband and I need that too. Hugs to everyone who likes them. <'>