darky

I found this one sooooooooooo much better than most of the programs they have done recently. I certainly cried lots, especially when they all got up to perform at the end. It wasn't just hey look at me I am Autistic and look at what I can do. I was honestly well and truely gobsmacked. It was wonderful

The hair thing, I do wonder. Very static, double crown, sticks up. Gait definately, clumsy, awkward movements. Not sure about a "look" though. I take it the person meant facial features?

It's difficult for me to comment really. My children attend mainstream and are statemented. There is a bigger push towards street wise "normality" for want of better words. At one point I questioned as to whether that was right and best for my children, I do not think that now, but I guess I won't know until they have grown up whether what I am doing is right. Before I make the next comment, I am going to generalise, but only speaking from my personal experiences, I fully accept there are acceptions to the rule, and everyone is different. This is NOT a slur on parenting, but simply an observation and opinion. I see programs like this, and it gives me hope and reassurance. Having higher functioning children myself and working in support groups, there are a lot of parents, including myself, who worry endlessly about the future, what there child can and cope with. It has sometimes felt like living on a knifes edge, and a great fear of things going wrong, because when they do go wrong, they really do, and not one of us would wish for it to happen again. Other parents have echoed these fears. It puts us in a vicious circle. I do now wonder who we are protecting, them- for the upsets and setbacks, or us- having to live with and cope with the upsets and setbacks. I hope you know what I mean. Sometimes, it is easy to be blinkered. Staying in a routine, making decisions, and staying in a comfort zone as not to rock the boat. It's self preservation I think. Anyhoo, I hope it doesn't sound patronising when I say, that in this program I saw parents pushing themselves out their comfort zones by changing the rules a little, and their children responded very well. I would personally find it very insulting being one of those parents, listening to someone like me worrying about what I thought mine could or could not cope with or having even a slightly negative outlook. I am sooooooooo lucky mine are verbal and high functioning, they are capable of whatever they want to do. The outlook has to be a positive one. For me to say otherwise after watching a program like this, would be, in my opinion, quite tragic.

We don't know. but then again, when are a any of us prepared to be pushed out our "comfort" zones unless we try? I think the program was overall positve. Two of these children are severly Autistic, one that is pretty much no verbal and can't "read" One parent agreed to let their son practice at home, something they never thought was possible, and something he had never done before. He coped well surpising the the parents. I do think that sometimes it's the parents that give their children a comfort zone and decide what the comfort zones EW, and that is not a slur on parents, as we all fo what we can, but I was simply stating how positive this program was.

My daughter has been on Citalopram for a while now for anxiety. It has been a miracle drug for her. It doesn't suit everyone though, so I would have a chat to your GP. <'>

Wonderful news

I agree. I know resources are tight, but waiting so long is a nightmare. Getting private dx could be as well, and you would be seriously out of pocket. The waiting times here for a full dx the last time I looked were a year plus, but there were a lot of appointments to get through from different professionals. Is it the same in your area? I hope I don't sound biased, but private dx can be expensive, and LA's only have to take them into consideration. Put it simply, they may say, well we have considered it and we don't agree. I'm not saying that will happen, but it is a possibility. I've seen a lot of parents frustrated, that's all I can say.

I really feel for you Justine. <'> I just needed to give you one of these <'> I find things always seem much easier with a good nights sleep. I am lucky in that me and hubby just have this routine, where I go to bed early, and he goes to bed late, I wake early, he wakes later. It's ok if you can do it. I'm sorry it's not like that for you. <'>

I have enjoyed it so much, I watched it twice Can't wait for the next one. I think it was very positive. I found it extremely helpful as much as anything. Watching Carly I could honestly see so much of my DD, the over dramatic strops that aren't always meant. The arms folded, stomp stomp. "I am NEVER doing this EVER again hmphh" I had tears of joy watching it all. The two singers are absolutely incredible. Both pushed out of their comfort zones, but both compromised and were very accepting in the end. I think it's amazing what can be achieved. The parents should all be proud, they were pushed over their comfort zones as well. They are all wonderful It had a much more postive feel to it than YASS. IMO.

I'm watching it now. Carly has an amazing voice. Superb

I think families can be difficult. My mum just wouldn't accept things, even though she took me for a brainscan when I was little because of what is now understood as ASD. My girl is very much sensory seeking, she goes way up high high high for a while, then crashes. It baffles my mother. She will ask my girl "why are you behaving like this?" when she's high, then get upset she can't reach my girl when she crashes and hides away to come down. What was funny though was a few weeks ago, out the blue, she said "We think we know where the Autism has come from" "Oh yeah?" I replied, and she said "It's come from your Dad's side of the family, their all the same you know" *Me nodding in agreement* As for my husbands side of the family, they don't ever talk about it or ask. It's hush hush, sweep under the carpet. A while ago we went to a family party, we were assured there were going to be no balloons. (My girl was terrified to panic at the time) Only, when we turned up, the hall was full of them. The shock sent my girl straight into full blown panic meltdown. I couldn't get her anywhere near that room. One of her uncles said "leave it to me" with a wink. He bent down to try and talk to her, but in meltdown panic, she wasn't going to listen. He grabbed her hand and said, "ok sweetie come with me" I saw her draw back her foot, and with one swift action I grabbed her away before she landed one on him. This was one of her favorate people, and she had never, and I wouldn't have believed she would have gone for him, but she did. It wasn't nice, but they really do "get it" now.

I have had a tricky time with my daughter. She is 11 now and much more willing to try. She didn't like food with different textures like tomatos because they have a skin, and they have a squishy bit with seeds. Same with yogurts and bits. It was always difficult to get her sat down eating a varied meal, and it took a very long time to get her to. I am lucky in that she enjoys being involved, and doesn't read my intentions as trying to trick her. (I have noticed children sometimes do) So I get her helping me shop, weighing food which she loves, and helping me prepare food and answer any questions I could about where it all comes from. I shamefully used to use my son, who was also eager to help prepare food, and he was always willing to try anything, and most of the time he used to do the hard work for me in the form of a bit of sybling rivalry. She didn't like being out done by her brother, so would often grab a bit and eat it just to annoy him I think Once she had eaten that, she was often willing to have a little on her plate, she may or may not eat it all, but accepting it on her plate and trying it was half the "battle" Even now, when I am preparing for example a salad, she will willingly eat lettuce and cucumber, but reluctantly tomato. So I give her the lettuce and cucumber, and more often than not, she will eat a bit of tomato when I am preparing it, and maybe a bit on her plate. It's all ongoing though. She will eat raw onion, but doesn't like cooked. She loves raw carrot, but hates cooked baby carrots, but the way I see it, she does actually eat carrots one way or another, she eats onions one way or another. When I was young, there was a lot I really didn't like, but as an adult I love. I do my best without making too much fuss, and actually my girl eats a more varied diet than I did. It's really tricky to try different things all the time without making too much fuss about it. Jo Frost really does have some brilliant tips to get children eating well. On Embarrassing Bodies not so long ago they showed a young boy who had sensory related food issues and how they helped the family. You might get some tips from the website. One other tip, I found home made pizzas a wonderful way of trying new foods. My girl is quite creative and loves decorating her own pizzas. I chop up lots of different veg, she chooses what she wants. Colour and artwork means more than taste to her in the end. She is very proud of her creations, as long as Mum is prepared to try some!

My son used to do this from nursery right up to year 2 and it was exhausting. We didn't have a diagnosis for him at the time. He always kicked off from the house, all the way to school and played up right until I left, which was difficult with him clung to my legs. I figured out he didn't like the unsettled part of going into the class and always settled when someone came to calm him down, but that became a vicious circle and routine of him screaming, then soothed by a teacher or TA. I personally think, looking back in hindsight, he was kicking off for a predictable reaction and it just became routine. Once he settled in a different routine, which was a very harsh teacher that used to call out "Morning Callum" whilst burried deep in a store cupboard, recognising his screams from the carpark, and clear instructions on what he had to do once in the class, he settled down. Not saying it will be the same for your son though. Good luck, I do sympathise. <'>

We didn't have any experience of CAMHS until the diagnosis. Down here we have a multi disaplinary team, with consultant Paed that makes the dx. We then got refered to CAMHS for advice, but in all honesty it was rubbish! It varies so much!

How horrible. I hope you feel a bit better now. <'> I agree, MP3 player has been a godsend here or something to fiddle with, even my phone or anything else I might have on me, because it's a special treat and spontanious, my girl gets distracted by what she is playing with or listening to, it helps to divert her focus away from things that might make things tricky so she doesn't focus on it. She also likes quizzes and challenges, so for example, on the bus I might say, how many red cars can you see? She loves playing eye spy as well even though it's always random with her I also find the game "it" works wonders

The other thing is that fear coming from phobias that may lead to violence shouldn't be linked to anger. None of my three are violent, and they all avoid confrontation. The only exception to "violence" was my daughter, who's intense fear made her lash out. That certainly wasn't due to "anger" and her lashing out was undoubtably fight or flight response to her being restrained to stop her running away from her fear. As soon as the "danger" was out the way, she stopped and was extremely upset to have lashed out. She only physically lashed out 3 times I think, but those times she was like a cornered rat, and there wasn't anything much I could do to get rid of what she was afraid of. One time was a fireworks display she wanted to go to. (we just used to take the boys) She had been afraid of them, but come on so much at school, and the school were hosting a display, so she really wanted to go. She coped well with the fireworks that were going off before the display started, she took in the atmosphere, she seemed happy and relaxed. There were 100's of people there, and we were stood surrounded by people. She counted down with the crowd, and when the first firework went off, so did she, but I couldn't do anything else other than restrain her because I couldn't move out. 20 minutes I had her under my coat swaddled so she couldn't run off, whilst she bit me, pinched me and kicked my shins. As soon as the fireworks stopped, so did she, but she was mortified at kicking off, really mortified, not only for kicking off, but because she didn't handle seeing the fireworks, she really wanted to. That was 4 years ago, and shes not wanted to go back, yet!

I think anger relates to Autism as much as it relates to everyone. I think it's proportionate. An example was given about frustration due to communication difficulties. NT people get frustrated and angry if their points are not heard or understood, but we can assume that as Autistics have a communication difficulty they may get frustrated in a different way, but couldn't it be said that with difficulties understanding sarcasm for example, they would be less likely to react angrilly than a NT person would? Frustration and anger are different emotions, and I think that does become confused. There is a big mix of personalities in Autism. Some are very quiet and avoid confrontation. Yes they may feel anger, because that is normal for anyone, but it's down to how they express it that decides whether anger is actually an issue, but couldn't that be said for everyone? If they were to swear and threaten, they could be expressing the anger the same way most people I see every day to be fair!

I thought the program was brilliant. I didn't agree with the "It may not be our preconcieved idea of what is a boyfriend/girlfriend" I thought it was a bit patronising? I saw the young couple, and every part of their relationship and feelings were definately my preconcieved ideas of boyfriend/girlfriend. Good luck to them. It's nice to see them happy As for Ollie, I thought last year it was such a shame. Someone so willing to work, and being refused work. Despite that, Ollie was so happy, but this year, with still being unable to get a job, seems so down. Overall the program was really positive. It showed more ups than downs I feel. So good to see so much positive in this program, and young people working so hard to make the most of themselves. It is very reassuring, and inspiring as well.

With my daughter it was when she was about 2 months old and never satisfied on bottles. I breast fed for the first few weeks but she was wanting to feed all the time, and gave me blisters. She put on weight from the word go, and would take 9oz bottles straight down and scream for more, and often would have another 9oz bottle, belly ready to burst, and still screaming and routing for bottles. Then when she was about 10 months old and crawling. She would crawl to the same spot over and over and over again. She was content, but very different to my boys, that I just put down, at first, to her being a girl. It was when she started smearing and eating her poo, and not appearing to learn that got my attention. When I say not appearing to learn, she constantly grabbed at things, but hurting herself didn't stop her doing it again and again. She was incredibly lively, right from a young age, never slept during the day from about 10 months, and wanted to eat constantly and I had to move the food to locked cupboards, she would also eat anything on the ground, snails, worms, stones, licking benches, windows all the time and she was quick. She was floppy all the time, really unbalanced on her feet, as if she was drunk. She didn't appear able to listen, she never sat down, never watched tv and never played with anything, just wrecked what she got her hands on. She hated being restrained, car seats, buggies, she did nothing but scream. Going into shops with her at the age of two was tough. In a buggy, screaming, trying to put her feet down to stop the buggy, I had to tip her backwards in order to push the buggy, and have to walk down the centre of an aisle to stop her grabbing. *shivers* thank goodness we are over that lot. It still gives me nightmares In hindsight, my youngest son, I have a photo of him shortly after he was born, wearing scratch mitts and he covered over his eyes like playing peek a boo to avoid the light I think. He hated going outside and I could never figure out why. I would only have to reach for my coat and he would scream. He didn't interact much, I thought he was just placid. He used to head bang and rock from a very young age, and would crawl with his head down on the floor and used to watch TV whilst hung upside down. His development was delayed, but he was ill a lot and in hospital a lot, so both me and the health visitor put it down to that. He loved being swaddled as a baby, but hated being uncovered, even in the summer. He had fears of dogs, motorbikes and tractors. He also had a strange monotone, but at the same time very posh voice. People used to comment on that quite a lot. He was very vocal, lots of noises, whooping, clapping, whistling and flapping. My eldest, is and was the most placid and such a happy child. He never had tantrums or anything like that. A child could take one of his toys, and it never bothered him, he could be pushed, shoved or hit by a child and he didn't react. It was his memory though mainly. He loved Thomas the tank and that was all he played with. Only I didn't realise at the time, he wasn't actually playing with them. He lined them all up and I only noticed that a few years ago whilst watching a video of him one xmas. He knew all of the "wengins" could name them by colour and number as well, and you couldn't fool him by covering up a number, he recognised it straight away. He was reading before the age of three. He recognised signs and symbols from adverts I think. We would be driving and he would say there's a Tescos over there mummy. It was quite a party trick. I used to say to people, show him a carrier bag, and he will name the shop by the logo. He had an incredible memory. He also used to do this thing, and I noticed Ben does it in that Young Autistic and Stagestruck, where he would speak a sentance, then mouth what he just said like he was whispering. All completely different!!

I get where you are coming from. I just don't know how to explain why I agree with you. The larger charities do well out of the funding, and they do offer a lot of blanket advice, but when they get so big, they tend to focus on big issues like that Gary Mackinnon. (not everyone agrees with that) Imagine the funding that single case alone has cost over time. Some would say the money could be better distributed to help more individual people with smaller, but equally important issues like statementing or exclusion or even diagnosis. Don't get me wrong, the NAS are great at what they do, but the funding they must get would be pretty obscene. In an ideal world, we wouldn't need big charities like this, and instead, the funding could go back to schools, staff and training

I know, it's a nightmare. She's always been awkward with shoes, and because she has floppy feet and rotation from her knee, she really needs something with good support and no heel. Most of the styles we have to right off before she's tried them on. When they get that bit older, especially girls, the shoes have such weak support. I know what you mean about the boys as well. My youngest son 13, he's a size 8. It's difficult to get him shoes that are appropriate school shoes. Most children now have big feet. You would think they would make allowances!

I quite like the idea in principle of child funding, so that the parent of a child with sen could choose the placement they feel would best meet the needs of the child. However, the cynic in me would think that funding would still be an issue as parents would be fighting a different battle of trying to up the funding for their child. I can see it now, ed pyschs SALT OT and PT suddenly suggesting the child no longer needs the input, therefore no longer needing the funding. It's not like the LEA are going to say, here you go, have all the funding you need for the school you want. It's still would be assessment based with a limited pot of money every parent is going to try and get every dreg they can for their child. Sorry if that sounds negative, but I think it would cause as many problems as it does now. Even more so, because no doubt the responsibility of meeting the childs needs would be with the parent if it came down to choice and funding. It whiffs of handwashing to me! The parents are still going to have to face tribunals, paying for private reports that contradict the LA ones. It would still be a problem if parents couldn't afford the assessments and appeals.

I've had the shoes deal today. What a nightmare. We went to four different shoe shops and tried Clarks, Startrite and Hushpuppies. My daughter has one foot size 4E one foot size 4.5F. We had to try on several different styles of shoe before we got one to fit well enough and that was Hushpuppies and that's only because hushpuppies have the different insoles to compensate for different widths. I saw what Startrite did on their site and thought that was good, especially for those parents who have children that hate shoe shops, but it wouldn't have been any good in our case. It would have saved a lot of time on such a nice day as well!

It's not very often I say this, but I do know how you feel. <'> Those moments hit hard don't they Bless them. I would rather have my little girl, who is wonderfully unique, quirky, kind and funny, than most of the other 11yr old girls I see. Some people say she's immature, I say she's a child. I am glad she is! <'>

I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but tax credits lopped off £200 off our award. Aparently they have sent out an annual declaration form we must sign, which they couldn't do until the end of the financial year, but in the mean time, they pay us a lower estimated amount until it's sorted. This has never happened before, but I am cross about it. It's not like it's a few quid, that's a lot of money to be down in one month when you are on a low income!! Same as you really!