Feeling abit low

[Bagpuss]

I've been feeling abit low of late Moods all over the place....never seem to know how I'll feel from one day to the next Seem to snap out of it....then back to feeling low again

 

Has anyone else experienced this and found anything natural which helps? Thinking of either going to chat to GP or having a word at my local health food shop.....would really welcome some advice.

 

Thanks

[TheNeil]

GP is good or you could try some B vitamins from the health food shop - perked me up when I was feeling down and no need for a prescription. You could just go and have a chat to them and see what they can suggest

[mandyque]

St Johns Wort is supposed to be very good but it will depend on if you are on any other meds, check to see if they don't get on. I seem to recall something called HTP followed by a number too. If you ask at the health shop they are usually very informed and can recommend something to you.

[phoebe]

<'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'>

 

I tried those kalms which are completely natural and struggled on and off like that for FAR TOO LONG. I was in such a desparate state when I finally went to the doctor, I could barely speak. Fortunately, he was great and very supportive. I did not want to go on A-D's, but could not cope and was losing it far too often, very tearful and up and down, waking up of a night and not being able to get back to sleep with the worry of everything. Being such a "coper" and having to ask for help was so difficult, but I finally decided I had to do so for the sake of my kids. I couldn't be the mum I wanted to be in the state I was in.

 

He gave me a prescription and the first one just didnt kick in , so I then wasted another 2 months, taking something waiting to feel better (they take 4-6 weeks to kick in). Next visit I was given a different one and it is like a miracle! He told me that to really treat the problem, you have to look at taking them for 6-12 months at least and I worried about where it would end, not wanting to become dependent (not in the narcotics anonymous sense but psychologically).

 

Happily, I stopped taking them about ten weeks ago after taking them for about 12 months. Going on them gave me the strength to deal with stuff and to talk to those nearest and dearest who really didn't give me any support. In reality, long term, nothing much has changed in my world, my marriage is on the brink of collapse, my son still has major problems at school (right now I am supposed to be writing to the LA who have palmed me off AGAIN), you know all the :wallbash: and lack of help. I am able to deal with things better. I just feel better. Cant explain it. I just cope better. Must have been the A-D's.

 

If you think the way you are feeling is more than just the normal ups and downs of your life. PLEASE, PLEASE ASK FOR HELP. GO TO THE GP. Take a copy of your post, or a copy of a paragraph from something that says about how having a SN child affects their carers. I used the one from the Nancy Mucklow article which is for the grandparents of recently diagnosed children, it just hit the nail on the head and just took it and asked him to read it whilst I cried! (If you google Grandparents, ASD's and her name it comes up.)

 

Look after YOURSELF for once. You are IMPORTANT.

 

Hope you get something sorted.

 

PM me if you like.

 

Phoebe

[mossgrove]

The only 'natural' remedy with research-backed claims to deal with depression effectively is St Johns Wort. It has worked for me in the past. It works best on mild depression and can be bought from Holland and Barret and most large supermarkets. If you google you will find lots of info.

 

Alternatively you may be better off speaking to your GP, especially if you are struggling to cope with day-to-day life. I did that last Chritmas and things are much better now.

 

Simon

[HAY KEE]

Hi, I would just like to echo the last two posts. If you are not coping, then see your doctor. Try and take someone along with you for moral support. If your doctor prescribes anti-depressants, then also ask for councelling.

 

I have recently been prescribed anti-depressants. I did not want to accept that I had a problem, but fortunately for my, my son's SW saw the signs and pushed me to see the GP. She even made the appointment for me and accompanied me to the appointment. Even though as yet I have not experienced any difference, at least the journey to some form of normality has started.

 

So yet again, I will reiterate what has been said, and recommend you see the GP, and don't forget to ask for councelling.

[Bagpuss]

Thankyou all SO much for your replies

 

I'm going to pop into the health shop tomorrow and have a word. I've heard about St Johns Wort, but was unsure if anyone had a positive experience of it. Also wondered if Boots pharmacy would be able to offer advice, with Boots doing natural supplements alongside conventional meds. After hearing your experiences re GP's, will seriously consider making an appointment there too.......but where do you start to explain how you feel?

 

 

Friends and family havn't been particularly supportive over the last few years, apart from my mum who has been fantastic. I'm always told what a "strong" person I am..... Only DH really knows the full toll the last 3 years have taken on me (youngest dd dx muscular dystrophy 3 years ago, then dx with ASD last year, then eldest daughter dx AS in Aug). I do tend to be able to mask how I'm really feeling to the outside world...although it is becoming more and more difficult of late.

 

 

DH is keen to start going to support groups in the area, and we've heard they are good, so going to definately look into sorting something out.

 

 

I just don't feel like ME anymore.....if that makes sense

[phoebe]

http://www.udel.edu/bkirby/asperger/grandparents.html

 

That is the article I was talking about

 

This is the specific paragraph that I showed the doc

 

The child?s mother looks exhausted all the time. Could that be a cause?

 

It?s more likely an effect. Consider what her life is like: she has to constantly monitor what is going on regarding her Asperger child, thwart anything that might trigger a meltdown, predict the child?s reactions in all situations and respond immediately, look for opportunities to teach the child social behavior without creating a scene, and so on - every minute, every day. So it?s not surprising that she doesn?t feel like sitting down for a cup of tea with you and making small talk!

 

The truth is that the majority of mothers of Asperger children struggle with depression. While the special services she will receive over the next few years should help in some ways, she will still be the one to deal with the day-to-day difficulties of raising an unusual child. For many mothers, this means ceaseless work, often to the exclusion of their own needs. Their physical, mental and emotional exhaustion can have a profound effect on the health and happiness of the entire family.

 

For this reason, mothers of Asperger children need those closest to them to give their full, unconditional support, both in words and in action.

 

 

Show your parents, friends, husband EVERYone!!

 

TAke Care <'> <'>

Edited October 31, 2006 by phoebe

[mossgrove]

Well done Bagpuss!

 

Recognising you have a problem and taking steps to deal with it is the biggest single thing you can do.

 

If you do go to see the GP try writing down how you feel before you go so you will have a clearer idea of what to say when you get there/It is common for a GP to see someone woth depression, so they will probably recognise the situation fairly easily.

 

Most prescription anti-depressants should not be taken at the same time as St Johns Wort, so you may want to hold off until you have seen your GP.

 

Simon

[mossgrove]

I just don't feel like ME anymore.....if that makes sense

 

It makes perfect sense. That is exactly how I felt.

 

Simon

[Karen A]

Hi Bagpuss.I just wanted to say it is not a sign of weakness to admit you are feeling down.People who are strong continue to cope and manage a lot of stress that would unbalance others.However if you continue to deal with things eventually it catches up with you.Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Stephen Fry said on TV the other day that depression is the most common illness that people visit their Gp for.So you have an awful lot of company. <'> <'> Karen

[Bagpuss]

Thanks again

 

Have rung GP surgery after spending an hour trying to remember who my GP actually was.... . Shes a lovely lady...anyhow, remembered her name, rang surgery.....and she's left the practice

 

So have booked in to see another GP tomorrow morning..... I'm SO nervous

 

Unsure where to begin.....and very aware of only have the alloted 10 mins but will try to talk things thru with the doc and take it from there......

 

 

unless of course I get cold feet and end up leaving with a prescription for piles.....which I'd far rather discuss

[mandyque]

phoebe that article is excellent!

[anita81]

the strongest person is the one who can admit theres something wrong.theres no shame in asking for help.why stuggle on and be unhappy when you can get help and be happy.raising kids is hard anyway let alone raising kids with disabilitys.get yourself some help, you'll feel alot happier when you do.when you see your GP,dont worry,it will all come pouring out.

[Kathryn]

Godd luck for tomorrow, Bagpuss.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

K x

[Bagpuss]

Thank you to everyone who has replied and sent PM's.....you have been such a great help and support. <'>

 

 

Just an update after GP appointment....came away feeling abit strange about it all and would welcome some feedback.

 

 

As I began telling her what had been happening over the last 3 years, I promptly burst into tears......never cry infront of people, so felt mortified. Realised at that moment how I was feeling had gone alot deeper than I had thought.

 

She sat and listened while I told her how I was feeling (mood swings, difficulty going to sleep, loss of confidence and self esteem, feeling tearful at times, headaches, feeling everything was pointless and that I just wasn't ME anymore) and how hard I had found it to come, but that I couldn't go on feeling as I was, and not knowing if tomorrow I'd feel happy or sad.

 

She said "so, your eldest daughter has AS"...."yes" I replied....."well, thats not too bad" she said Then she went onto to say "your youngest has muscular dystrophy and autism.....have you tried getting some exercise, maybe taking all the children swimming"

 

I felt numb to be honest, and explained that I did go swimming, with and without the kids, often, at least twice a week......plus taking all the kids swimming only makes my stress levels go thru the roof

 

She then asked if I had a dog, I said no, just 2 hamsters and she recommended I get one to take it for walks....

 

By this point I felt like I'd entered the Twilight Zone.......I can understand the logic behind exercising and dog walking relieving stress levels, but felt I needed more help than that.

 

She then said I could possibly be suffering from PMT...... By this point I was becoming really defensive......and again had to explain that I wasn't just feeling low at certain times of the month.

 

She finished up by asking what I would like her to do and saying that she would give me some leaflets to read and I should also read books on Depression because that would help.

 

I suggested that counselling would be helpful, so I have be referred. I also questioned if I should be prescribed AntiDepressants, and she said I'd have to fill a leaflet out first scoring how I felt .

 

I'm sorry to sound so negative about the whole expererience . I do know that I've done something positive, which I would never have had the courage to do had you all not been so kind and supportive, and I know in the long run the counselling will be a big help. I've got to go back in a week to see her again, with my filled out questionnaire and then she will decide if I need AD's, depending on what I score ......the silly thing is that all the questions on the form are all symptoms I told her I was experiencing....which now convinces me that I do have depression, and its not just that I feel abit low, and I feel its ridiculous to have someone fill it in.....

 

I'm half expecting to go back and find she's gives me a puppy, swimming costume and a Self Help Book.....and all will be well with the world.

 

Thanks again for all your support...had I not read about your experiences I may of accepted that it could just be PMT and left the surgery without any help at all.

 

As it was, I left the surgery and promptly went and had all my hair cut off.....

[phoebe]

<'> <'>

 

Oh god, I am so cross on your behalf.

 

My immediate reaction is to say book an appt with another dr.

 

How dare she say AS is not so bad and how dare she recommend you get a dog - just another thing to add to the stress of life at home. I love dogs but choose not to have one because I know what a tie they are and how expensive they can be. I also know several people who have got a dog and regretted it because it isn't the cosy "complete the family 2.2 kids and a dog thing that it is cracked up to be".

 

HOW DARE SHE

And lots more

 

I know how difficult is was for you to go today and I know how bad it makes you feel to break down and cry in front of someone. I feel for you <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> I really do.

 

So what next?

 

I too was offered counselling and thought I would take up the option (still think about it) but in this area the sessions cost about �30 a week (may be subject to your financial situation there is the ability to waive the fee) and as I only work very part time, I cant justify spending that much money. I could of course ask my husband, but the less said about him the better.........................

 

Why wait a week before returning with this form?

 

Why not write down what has happened today (copy your post) and ask to see another gp?

 

Some are notoriously more sympathetic than others.

 

PLease please dont give up on the idea getting help. You have done enormously well going today

 

Hope the new haircut suits you!!!!!

 

Love and hugs

Phoebe

[Bullet]

<'> <'> Bagpuss <'> <'> . Sorry your GP was useless

[Bagpuss]

Thanks Phoebe and Bullet <'>

 

Haircut is looking very like Sinead O'Connor circa late 80's .....but I love it

 

Wondering what DH will make of it though when he gets home from work tonight..... and then I've got to tell him about GP visit...didn't tell him I was going because I had a feeling I'd back out.

 

She wants me to fill in the questionnaire over the week because you have to score how often you feel each thing over the course of the week. Got the feeling she was reluctant to prescribe AD's and felt I could somehow combat it on my own using exercise, pets and some leaflets.

 

I totally agree Phoebe about the dogs, we've had a few in the past, and we've had to find them new homes because I find I can't tolerate all the things which come with dogs, although I can see that they could be beneficial for some, as with the exercise. I tend to be pretty active anyway, and walk and swim often and try to get out the house by myself as and when I can. Sometimes though its not easy to get out when the kids are at home, as anyone on the forum will understand, and when you do its so stressful its sometimes easier to stay home.

 

The counselling is offered at the surgery, which is great, although I forgot to ask how long the waiting list is.

 

Think I'm on the right road. I've never seen this GP before, as mine has left, and she has told me she's also leaving the practice at the end of the month, so I think after next week I won't be seeing her anymore, and will see one of the more established GP's

 

The other thing I forgot to mention is that I questioned the fact it's taking me hours to fall asleep each night. Sometimes awake till 2 / 3 am, tossing and turning, head full of things. She said as I learnt more about depression my sleep would improve I bluntly asked if there was anything which could be prescribed to help me sleep......and she said "they" were reluctant to prescribe anything.....so I questioned again, wouldn't I find it easier to cope if I was sleeping properly each night, and she then relented and presribed me 5 sleeping tablets. Havn't had them dispensed yet, unsure

[nellie]

Well done in getting to the doctor. It's not your fault she was useless!!! You're probably feeling better now you know she's leaving.

 

Haircut is looking very like Sinead O'Connor circa late 80's .....but I love it

 

The haircut sounds brilliant! Easy to manage then?

 

Hope things improve soon.

 

Nellie <'> <'>

[Bagpuss]

Thanks Nellie

 

Eldest dd just got home from school "Wheres your hair gone..you look weird"

 

DS arrived shortly afterwards " Woah......whats happened to your hair"

 

Kids, don't ya just love em

 

 

Hair straightners are no more...hooray

[phoebe]

at least you can about it

 

 

is it REALLY Sinead O'Connor?????

 

Have you forewarned your husband??

[phoebe]

or you could get

[phoebe]

nor will you be needing these

[oxgirl]

Hi Bagpuss,

 

Glad you made it to the GP and sorry you came away feeling a bit disattisfied.

 

At least you've started the process though and begun a dialogue with the doctor about how you're feeling, sounds like a good start at least. When you see her next week with your questionnaire you'll both have something to work on from.

 

I agree that her comments about AS and dogs sounded flippant, but it can be just as bad if the GP doesn't even bother discussing with you what YOU want and just dishes out the pills without giving you a second glance. Maybe when you go back and see her next week you'll be able to decide together what YOU want and what she feels might help as well and agree on a useful treatment.

 

All the best. <'>

 

~ Mel ~

[TheNeil]

Oh dear - doesn't sound as if she really 'got' the situation, but, as Mel said, at least she didn't just dish out some pills and shout 'next'

 

Maybe next week, with your sparkly new haircut () she might suggest something a bit more 'agreeable'

[Bagpuss]

Thanks....

 

Oh Phoebe, you made me laugh <'>

 

Definately feel I'm heading in the right direction

 

Yup, the hair is VERY Sinead O'Connor...youngest dd looked terrified when I collected her from the school transport, with the chaperone repeating..."It's ok J, its still Mummy" Hadn't given any thought to how my new look would affect her.....she just keeps staring at my hair, and when I asked her if she liked Mummy's new haircut she just scowled

 

Nope, havn't pre-warned DH he's due in at 7.15pm

[mandyque]

Well done for not screaming at her, not sure I'd have been so restrained! Dogs, swimming and leaflets??? The thought of any of those makes me shudder! Maybe SHE needs to read Phoebes link for grandparents!

[yoyo]

Bagpuss, what a dreadful doctor. She hasn't a clue. I often wonder how some gps managed to get the grades to get into medicine in the first place. I would suggest you just make another appointment with a doctor in the practice that you know is good at treating symptoms of stress and depression. Your visit today seems to have been a waste of your time and you have received no answers and no help. I do hope you get some respite and relief while you wait for another appointment.

 

Yoyo

[butterfingersbimbo]

oh no i have an idea what you can do with those straightners now........

 

am sorry to hear that this was your experience of trying to get help, i was feeling like you are about twenty months ago, i was turning into a snot monster and it was getting very difficult to go anywhere not just cos of el but because i was highly likely to cry if i saw a) a frail pensioner an injured animal c) both together d) my own reflection.......

 

it was so hard to go to the gp and fess up but what a weight off my shoulders when i did! i was worried about anti d's as my mum had had a serious addiction when i was a kid but they are not like that anymore. i was on them for 18 months and have come off them now. i feel so much better and have got my warped sense of humour back, much to el's delight.......

 

good luck with the questionair, she did check you weren't suicidal before sending you off with it didnt she?

 

btw every time i colour my hair el hates it and says i look a mess.......

 

sending you a massive hug and loads of positive vibes.......and a dog.......you can try my old one out if you like........

[Bagpuss]

<'> <'>

 

DH walked in...said WOW....looked very shocked....said "thats radical, but I like it and it suits you"

 

Havn't hit him with the GP visit yet, waiting till all the kids are asleep

[Bagpuss]

Just quick update.............

 

Had appointment again this morning with same GP. She "scored" my questionnaire and suggested that AD's may be helpful, so I've started on them today....well, got prescription, take first one tomorrow. She was really helpful (feel abit mean moaning about her now). Having discussed the side effects and reading the leaflet supplied I'm a little nervous.....

 

She wants to see me again in a fortnight, to check I'm ok on them, and regularly after that...although she is due to leave the practice at the end of month, but she said another GP, who I am happy to see, will take over.

 

I've had a letter from the counselling service, and have now gone on their waiting list, which is about 6 - 8 weeks.

 

Made contact with two ASD support groups locally, and they both look great.

 

Thanks again to everyone who took the time to reply and PM....I really feel I wouldn't have taken that first step otherwise, and feel so much more positive, just by dealing with it.

[Kathryn]

Hi Bagpuss,

 

I'm glad the second appointment was more positive. I suppose 6 weeks isn't too long to wait, hopefully you'll begin to feel the benefits of the meds in the meantime. <'>

 

K x

[phoebe]

hi Bagpuss,

 

What a relief - so glad you are on the right road.

 

Support groups are definitely worth a try.

 

<'> <'> <'>

 

Take care

Phoebe

[oxgirl]

Just quick update.............

 

Had appointment again this morning with same GP. She "scored" my questionnaire and suggested that AD's may be helpful, so I've started on them today....well, got prescription, take first one tomorrow. She was really helpful (feel abit mean moaning about her now). Having discussed the side effects and reading the leaflet supplied I'm a little nervous.....

 

She wants to see me again in a fortnight, to check I'm ok on them, and regularly after that...although she is due to leave the practice at the end of month, but she said another GP, who I am happy to see, will take over.

 

I've had a letter from the counselling service, and have now gone on their waiting list, which is about 6 - 8 weeks.

 

Made contact with two ASD support groups locally, and they both look great.

 

Thanks again to everyone who took the time to reply and PM....I really feel I wouldn't have taken that first step otherwise, and feel so much more positive, just by dealing with it.

 

 

That's really positive Bagpuss, so glad the GP came through for you. Sounds like you're well on the way to feeling better. <'>

[TheNeil]

Good news Bagpuss but are you sure that wasn't down to the GP being scared of your new hair?

 

Either way, glad you're feeling a bit brighter and positive

[smiley]

Hiya Baggy <'>

 

Just wanted to say - Well Done you!!!!!

 

The hardest part is getting the help (especially with a GP as 'helpful' as yours ).

 

I've been on Anti-D's for a while now - they do help lift your spirits, but counselling helps you to work out how to get better.

 

<'> <'> <'>

[badonkadonk]

<'> <'>

 

Glad you're feeling a bit better and your haircut sounds fabulouso!

 

I don't want to come out fighting against anti-depressants because I know they work for a lot of people. I think the main reasons they didn't work for me are because I am probably depressed due to a medical condition and am also suffering a seperate very mild depression caused by battling with the negative aspects of being AS. But, it was the sleep thing that you mentioned that I just wanted to give my advice on.

 

The first anti-depressant I was put on was Fluoxetin. This is one of the mood lifting anti-depressants. This had dire effects on my personality as it sent me manic and made me incredibly suicidal and even led to an attempted suicide. I can say 100% that it was the drug that made me feel like this, I was not myself and lurched from incredibly low to absolute mania and hyperactivity. My behaviour was almost similar to the symptoms people with Bipolar hve except for the mood swings were happening many times a day. Drinking alcohol while taking these tablets was also very dangerous as my temperature soared and I felt dizzy and had flu-like symptoms. I also never slept and this is my concern with you if you're taking a mood lifting form of anti-depressants. Because they were mood-lifting it almost fed my insomnia and anxiety and I literally could not drop off to sleep at all and even though I would be dreadfully tired, sleep just wouldn't come. I'm not saying this will happen to you, hopefully the opposite will happen and the drugs will lift your mood enough for you to stress less and feel better and thus sleep because it's probably your brain churning that's keeping you awake. But just be careful and keep a diary of anything in your daily routine that changes. Write down how much sleep you get and try to notice how you are feeling throughout the day, I know this sounds silly but it is harder than it appears. Morning, afternoon and evening make 3 entries into your diary. It doesn't have to be pages of rubbish (like this post lol) just Wednesday 8th November: Morning - feeling quite happy. Afternoon - mood has become lower and I have a lot on my mind. Really keep it simple like that. It's something the counsellor will probably ask you to do anyway though probably not as in depth, but it is worth doing as it might help to pinpoint the times in the day where you need to make an extra effort to ease your worries or actively do something to make you happy like listening to your favourite song.

 

The second anti-depressant they put me on was Mirtazapan or something to that effect, I can never quite remember what's called (doh). This was a sedative form of anti-depressant and was supposed to help me sleep as well as easing my depression. Trouble was it worked too well and I could sleep all the time. I would sleep all night and wake up and not feel refreshed. This is the important thing to look out for. When you wake up normally you feel groggy and like, ugh, but after a while that refreshed feeling comes and you feel ok enough to take on the day (for 5mins at least lol). However with these tablets the feeling doesn't come, you just feel like you could have more sleep. I tried limiting the sleep I had as I know that over sleeping only makes you feel more tired and I had a set routine for sleeping i.e. in bed before 11.30pm, out of bed before 7.30am and still I couldn't function during the day because I was so low and tired and fed up. These tablets probably made me feel even more suicidal than the first lot. This seems to be quite common in patients with depression is that often they have to try a number of different tablets because of the increase in suicidal thoughts. So if you start feeling like this at all then please don't ignore it and tell somebody. Ask your husband to keep an eye on your mood also. I came off the tablets around 3-4 months ago and feel so much better now I'm off them.

 

Anyway there are other things you can do to make yourself feel better whilst on the ADs so you can speed up the process of getting off them asap. One of the things I have found most beneficial to me is to start taking one-a-day cod liver oil plus evening primrose oil. You can buy them in a combined tablet, Seven Seas is the one I take and I got a 90 capsule tub for around �8-9. I would happily pay ten times as much because although I still have depression the severity of the mood swings has calmed down so much. I also suffered from achey legs/restless legs before terribly and now it happens maybe 3 or 4 times a month instead of every single night. Exercise does help, I know why do they have to be right, but they forget one thing, exercie only helps if you enjoy it. Going to the gym might help me shift 1 pound that month (lol) but it's the boogying while doing the hoovering or going for a walk with my boyfriend or having my own private disco dance in the lounge for 30mins a week that does wonders for my mood. Make an effort to watch some comedy every week, stick a favourite dvd on or watch a programme on telly or even go and see a comedienne live as a treat. Laughter is brilliant for depression and when you just feel ###### in general. My sister has a cold at the minute so I got her some sparkly pipe cleaners while I was out shopping with my Nan yesterday. She likes creating things so last night we sat in the living room absolutely wetting ourselves trying to make pipe cleaner glasses and hats and necklaces. It's not for everyone pipe cleaners, we are a bit weird, but do something that makes you laugh or smile. Once a week isn't all that much of a pain, 30 mins every Tuesday shouldn't be too difficult and if you involve the kids and your hubby then all for the better. (Board games is a great source of fun for everyone, you could make Sunday your cheer-up day and set aside an hour to try and play a game with everyone. I know you said one of your kids has MD so I'm sure you know ways and methods of doing something that will involve everyone, whatever that may be).

 

You started the healing process straight away believe it or not, as soon as you left the doctors. Going to get your hair cut or translated - giving yourself a boost - is something you can do to feel better. I also know when I need to get my hair cut because I start looking in the mirror and start having a go at myself for looking like an idiot and something just doesn't seem right and my hair "won't go" right and it doesn't seem healthy etc etc. A haircut does wonders and I start feeling confident about myself again and looking in the mirror ain't all that bad. I know this stuff sounds silly and simple but it really works, honest. The same applies to wearing make-up/shaving legs/buying a new jumper/making an effort to flirt with hubby again/spicing things up in the bedroom/going to see a picture/listening to a good cd yada yada yada. I know the bedroom thing might seem weird but it makes a lot of people very happy indeed and more downtime with the hubby could make you feel more positive and happy and sexy and confident and YOU again. It's all about remembering that you are a human just like your kids and partner and you need to feel good as well. Since I started making an effort to look decent when I leave the house it has made wonders of difference to how I feel. Before I would look at other people and think "oh god, I look like such a mess! Why can't I look like that!!" But now, a flick of eyeliner and lashings of mascara and foundation gives me that little bit more confidence and pride in myself and so boosts my mood. I know it's all very materialistic but if it makes me feel better who is anyone to say it isn't right. Give these things a go or think of your own but try and slowly add these things into your routine. I know it must be hectic enough but if they make you feel better then you might feel better at coping with your day to day life, if that makes sense.

 

I really am sorry for the length of the post. I know it must be geting a bit tedious by now wading through all the waffle but I'm only trying to help and I can't seem to do it in a few short sentences. It's taken me nearly an hour to write this and I do put a lot of effort into it because I really do want to help you feel better because I've been there and I'm climbing back up. I'm not preaching and I'm not perfect by a million miles, I can't even hold down a job, but I'm starting to feel happier again and that's the main thing. So sorry again for the length but it's better than nothing I guess (Feel free to disagree )

 

Emily

xxx

[Bagpuss]

Thanks for the lovely replies.....your such a lovely bunch of people <'> <'>

 

Emily, your advice is as always very wise....you should be a counsellor....SERIOUSLY! A cyber counsellor Had long chat with GP re the possible side effects, and she did mention that the depression could become worse before it feels better. The list of possible side effects in the leaflets are worrying.....but have told hubby to keep an eye on me. Thanks for sharing your experiences with me and good to hear you are feeling alot more positive too

[badonkadonk]

Thanks Bagpuss!

 

To be honest, when I start looking for work again (hopefully in the new year) I will be able to do something along the lines of working with people with ASDs particularly AS. So I guess that would be giving advice/support in a way. Though I'm not sure why I keep on dreaming that this will actually happen as I don't like being around people and I don't like being in environments where there are lots of illogical rules, such as a school, which is where I would have to be if I was a teaching assistant or something similar. When I did my teaching practice one of the hardest things to cope with was rubbish teachers and their attitudes and the injustice of kids not having a proper education just because the teacher was a mardy old moo I think I would have the same problems with counselling and I'm not sure I have enough tact to do it. What about the person who comes in and is completely to blame for their own unhappiness and too pigheaded to see/make changes. I think I would want to "cure" (get everybody on a positive track) before they left the room and I dunno how I would deal with not being able to help everyone. Plus it means another who knows how many years of studying and I gave that up last November because I couldn't cope anymore.

 

This is why I'm having trouble finding a job you see, and part of my depression/lack of self-confidence stems from the fact that I haven't found the right job yet/haven't been able to hold down a job for a sustained period of time. Apparently there aren't jobs out there where all you do is sit in a room all day filing things, and when one does crop up it's too far away or the pay is absolutely shocking. I'm not like other Aspies either and while I like using my comp, I haven't the faintest idea of how it works and absolutely no desire to find out. I know it's just logistics of which wires go there and all that faff and you would think the logical thing would sit well with me but it completely flies over my head

 

I think I've said on here before that my dream job would be travelling the country and the world educating people about Aspergers/Autism. Places that really need to know about these things such as hospitals, schools, supermarkets, businesses, shops, libraries....ANYONE really But the people who get to do that are all qualified experts and not some nerd from the midlands with an accent no one can understand!

 

I also quite like the idea of working one-to-one with families of children/teens with Aspergers/Autism to see if I could put my experiences to use and help them lead a more productive/happier life along with getting a better understanding of their kids. But again, I dunno how one gets a job like that and if they actually pay people to do it because of course I would do it for free but I don't want to live with my parents forever!!

 

Anyway, don't know where all that come from but it's good to share your thoughts if they need to come out I suppose. I do like the fact that I can help in some way even if the downside means people sifting through the waffle. There will always be pros and cons I guess!

 

Emily

xxx

 

Sorry if that sounds a bit mopey but one of my obsessions at the minute is Jigsaw puzzles and I just can't do the one I'm doing but I can't give up either so I'm feeling a bit blue and my eyes hurt from staring at the pieces. However I feel a bit better after posting and I know my lovely boyf is on the way with a chocolate milkshake in tow so all is good!

Edited November 8, 2006 by badonkadonk