TheNeil Report post Posted March 5, 2007 After the recent trauma's of chosing which job to go with (I went for the central Leeds job which was less pay but better prospects by the way) I actually resigned on Friday morning. I'd waited for an email from the company to confirm everything so I was all happy and settled. On Saturday a paper copy of this letter turned up...along with a 120 page 'employee' handbook and an additional 4 A4 pages just on dress code (neither of which I'd seen before). 4 pages?!?!?! Everywhere else I've ever worked just says 'smart dress - shirt and tie' (or similar) but these <insert VERY rude word here>s wanted to dictate which colours to wear, which knot to tie a tie with(?!?!), what type of shoes to wear, how to have my hair cut(!?!?!?!), how to iron a shirt, how to... No bright colours, no translucent metarial(?), trousers must be so-and-so colour. It was like being back at school (in the bad old days when everyone had to line up to have their unioform checked each morning). Just to clarify, I'd be working in an office, away from the public and would have no contact with external clients. I always wear a shirt and tie to work anyway (always have done for the past decade) and I know that a lot of this stuff is just 'standard stuff' but their tone just really re-inforced the fact that they were cut-throat go-getting city types who'd never be able to handle something like loony tune disease. They'd already set my start date (without asking/checking with me) and then tried to move it forward a week (i.e. so I was only giving three weeks notice to my current firm instead of my contracted four) and were leaning on me to do things before I even started. So I freaked out and have now decided to tell them to take their job and conditions and <insert appropriate action here>. Luckily I haven't signed anything but, and here's the sticky bit, I resigned and work don't seem overly bothered on trying to convince me to stay (My boss's reation to my resignation letter? "Oh"). So I've spent all of the weekend in a state of abject terror and have been begging agencies (who I turned down at the end of last week...as I had a new job) to get me interviews. Out of duty I'd gone to the interview for the fantastic pay/poor prospects job last Wednesday and they were actually really nice, didn't seem bothered by me being 15 minutes late (the traffic was awful)(I just acted as though nothing was amiss and I was actually on time - I think they bought it) or admitting to having an incurable brain defect (yes, I told them about AS) and have actually called me back for 2nd interview tomorrow (Tuesday). I also begged, pleaded and offered various unmentionable acts to a third agency and they've got me an interview on Wednesday morning. I need sympathy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Ah TN here's my some big <'> <'> <'> for you, that information on dress code sounds awful and very dictatorial, if they are like that about what you wear and look like, well goodness knows what they would be like with the actual work....probably expect you to use a quill pen and an abacus !!!! Think I would have done the same thing. Good luck with your next interview and chin up, the right job will come along. Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chriss Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Things happen for a reason and thank goodness you found out what control freaks those people were before your start date. The second interview job sounds very promising so good luck with that! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
curra Report post Posted March 5, 2007 TN <'> <'> <'> You have all my sympathy <'> <'> Don't despair. It usually takes some time to find the right job. Keeping fingers crossed for your new interview tomorrow. Curra Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted March 5, 2007 I've just had an email from the HR people reminding me that I actually have more holidays than I thought so they wondered whether I'd like to take them and leave even sooner. Looks like they're desperate for me to stay. Maybe it's my twisted head but I'm now getting a bit nervous - if I don't land one of these other two jobs then I'm jobless Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bikergal Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Sorry things haven't worked out. Is there no way you could keep you old job by having a word with your boss or would nothing on earth make you even consider that? I've gone back to a former employer 3 weeks after leaving they were fine about having me back, and no I didn't love the job just needed a steady income after my new job proved to be unreliable hours wise. I really hope that a job you like comes your way soon, after all this stress you deserve it. Know what you mean about 'cut throat' types. Take care. <'> <'> <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cmuir Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Hi Leaving a job and going somewhere new is never easy and is nerve-wracking. I guess no one likes uncertainty. Hope this doesn't sound patronising or condescending, but I'm sure that having an ASD doesn't help especially if you like routine, stability, etc. I know with my son, that's certainly the case. We'll be moving house in a couple of months and already he's playing up - definitely because he senses something big is in the pipeline. Something similar happened to me when I left my last job. They made assumptions, detailed contract, etc. In addition, I was peeved when Personnel asked me if I wanted to use up leave and leave early. Having said that, it maybe they're not looking to get rid, they're just planning ahead as the have a post to fill. Despite this, it turned out to be a really good move. I'm a big believer in gut feeling - go with it! If you're not sure, try, what's the worst that can happen? You're a clever bloke working in IT - it maybe that you can get temp work, etc. I'm a particularly impatient type of person and the not knowing or waiting is difficult, so I can sympathise. Hope you find out about the high paid/low prospects job or the other one soon! The fact that you've resigned sounds like a good thing. The last thing you should do is be tempted to stay on. You've been unhappy for a long time and this situation kinda forces your hand to find something new (and better!!!). Best wishes. Caroline. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Neil, I'm really sorry it's turned out like this! This second interview sounds really promising though, and it sounds like they could be a really good employer for you. And you wouldn't have to work there forever anyway. If you've had offers of interviews, you will get more interviews. It's not as bad as you think, honest! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted March 5, 2007 what a nightmare!!! i think you should defo leave the place you are resigning from now cos you have been miserable there for ages, i wonder if they are asking if you want to leave sooner cos they would rather not pay you for the days you could have taken as holiday? i wouldnt go and work at the control freak office, do they have instructions on how to go to the toilet in that manual or are you supposed to go in your own time? the place that were really friendly is sounding like the best bet.....will you still be able to get on here while you are at work? sending you loads of pos vibes, you will get something sorted!!! <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bagpuss Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Oh heck TN...thats all gone abit pear shaped Look, you won't starve.....come here for food I'll even offer the GP's and budgies a foster home till you are solvent again Although eldest dd may formally adopt GP's and make you fight for custody and youngest dd may try and force budgies to live in the dolls house or try to insert a battery up their bottoms Joking aside, you should not of spent weekend worried You know DH and I will help in any way we can, even if its just someone to sound off to Good luck with the second interview....go kick IT butt and show them your the best Sounds like you've had a rather lucky escape from the other firm......when you get new job, tea at Betty's is on you Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Well I've just had a meeting with my boss. I was hoping that they'd offer me more cash, ask me to stay or whatever but...bye ("Oh and can you write up some documents about everything you've ever done please?") So now I'm leaving in a couple of weeks and, at the moment, have no job to go to Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Hi, TN, sorry you're so stressed about this situation. <'> If it were me, I'd be inclined to consider what the people and the atmosphere at the job you accepted were like, rather than placing too much importance on the document, which they probably just chuck out to everyone routinely. What were your impressions of the place before you received the pack? Did they seem welcoming and friendly? Did you feel comfortable in the building and was there a relaxed atmosphere there?? This, I would think, would be more important than a booklet. Good luck with it, though. <'> <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Hi, TN, sorry you're so stressed about this situation. <'> If it were me, I'd be inclined to consider what the people and the atmosphere at the job you accepted were like, rather than placing too much importance on the document, which they probably just chuck out to everyone routinely. What were your impressions of the place before you received the pack? Did they seem welcoming and friendly? Did you feel comfortable in the building and was there a relaxed atmosphere there?? This, I would think, would be more important than a booklet. Good luck with it, though. <'> <'> ~ Mel ~ That's the thing Mel, they weren't nice. The phrase that immediately sprang to mind when I walked out of the interview was 'cut-throat'. The agency and the fact that it was 'the right thing to do' (from a career perspective) talked me into accepting it. I weighed up that the document was 'standard' but my gut instinct, when combined with my first impressions of the place, just keeps telling me 'no'. They were cut throat (or, as I later phrased it, 'go getter, city types'), the building an office seemed 'cold' with no charm or anything that made me feel comfortable (at the time I just put it down to it being an 'alien' environment). Nobody tells this Aspie what haircut to have and what colour shirt to wear. So far I haven't said anything to the agency about not wanting it (Jesus, I must be desperate if that's now become my 'backup plan') but I certainly haven't signed anything. Whatever happens I'll be out of here on either 15th or 20th March (haven't decided which yet). After that though...well...err. I just have to prey that tomorrow (with the nice people)(they actually were nice)(even if their office was like something out of the dark ages) goes well, they offer me the job, I accept it and can do that 'sleep' thing again. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted March 5, 2007 It does sound like you've done the right thing then, doesn't it. I always think if the place 'feels' right then that's the most important thing, but if it didn't then you're right not to take it. What about the other job that was on offer, did you turn that one down? Is there any chance you could let them know you've changed your mind about that one? Good luck with the other interviews anyways. Take care. <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted March 5, 2007 It does sound like you've done the right thing then, doesn't it. I always think if the place 'feels' right then that's the most important thing, but if it didn't then you're right not to take it. What about the other job that was on offer, did you turn that one down? Is there any chance you could let them know you've changed your mind about that one? Good luck with the other interviews anyways. Take care. <'> ~ Mel ~ That's kind of how I looked at it too. I wasn't 'happy' before the paperwork had turned up and maybe it was just the straw the broke the camel's back or something. Depending on how the rest of the week goes I may consider it a lucky escape or my final option. I've managed to beg myself into an interview for the job I turned down last week (have to go on Wednesday) and of course I have a second interview at the 'nice' place tomorrow (Tuesday). The 'nice' people have already said (to the agency) that there's some 'flexibility' around start and end times and that was my major concern, as hitting a city centre at rush hour in both directions each day is not quite my idea of fun. If I can start and finish an hour earlier then I'll be a happy bunny. The fact that they're even addressing my concerns at this early stage makes me think (possibly misguidedly) that they're taken with me (the fools). Just got to convince them that I'm brilliant, pass a short test and, hopefully, I'll be off there instead. I'm doomed () This'll no doubt make a good chapter for the next book: My Life With Electro-Convulsive Shock Therapy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Very best of luck, mate, I'll be crossing me fingies for ya! Just think, if you can do it once, you can do it again. <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tmf Report post Posted March 5, 2007 What a nightmare you have had. Anyway the best of luck with the interview <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted March 5, 2007 did you say start an hour late and finish an hour early? that would help with beating the traffic! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Matthew Baker Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Sorry that job didn't turn out to be what you wanted. Hopefully one of the others will come through for you. I am also of the view that everything happens for a reason. Even if in the short term things look bleak it will proabably work out better in the long term. I can't say I've ever had much luck with agencies either. They always seem to be terrible when I try and use them. It is a pity you can't get a job directly with a firm. After all the money would probably work out better as agencies tend to take a cut in anycase. Its a pity you can't find some where that works flexi time I thought most offices do now days. The bit to do with the holidays I think is fairly standard. Look at it from the employers point of view encourage employee to take holiday and hence just pay them to their finish date or have to pay them an extra bit for all the untaken holiday leave. Kindly one of my ex-workplaces (national government related) actually took time to explain this to me and then asked what I'd like to do. Well best of luck with getting a job soon. We can always arrange another meetup in the shorter term if you need someone to talk to. I'm looking forward to the one in May. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Best of luck for the 2nd interview tomorrow be thinking of you <'> Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brooke Report post Posted March 5, 2007 HI TN Im really sorry that this has happened all i can think of is if the worst comes to the worst you could always start this new job see what its like and keep tryin for other positions while your there so hopfully you wont have to stay too long. Sorry i dont have any better advice but maybe it wont be a bad as you think. im the same i hate change and work myself up into a state about things but it normally works out in the end. take care brooke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KarenT Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Hi Neil Sorry it's all gone pear-shaped for you, and I've been in this position before and it's very worrying, even if you do recognise your abilities and know you'll get more offers. Seriously, try to take a step back from this and look at it objectively. If the worst happens you'll get temping work no problem at all, you have excellent skills and are hugely employable. The problem here is filling the gap between jobs, because you WILL get another one soon. If you're anxious you'll give a less favourable impression to prospective employers so try to stay calm if you can - I find mainlining Bach's Recovery Remedy does the trick for me every time. Take care, hon. Karen x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
marshmallow Report post Posted March 5, 2007 Good luck with the interview tomorrow. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
noogsy Report post Posted March 6, 2007 oh dear...frying pan into the fire has actually happened there you are dancing around in the flames .first of all don't panic. everything happens for a reason. so your job will turn up. its there somewhere. it hopefully will be with the nice people.and with a group of people who like your quirks.and appreciate you are a clever, smart,kind person....i told my hubby about you and he sympathized he was at work the other day(IT) and was sorting a printer out for a girl whos printer was not being recognised by her computer(she is a swampy).and she was acting like he was invisible.then she started talking to her colleagues saying"i dont think this guy knows what he is doing????? "hubby grrrrrrrrrr. .....lol.........so hopefully you will be in a place where people realize you qualities...just stay calm....love noogsy and cam...xxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Well??!! How'd it go today??!! Huh? Huh?? ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheNeil Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Well I went this morning and I don't think it went very well. Didn't feel 'yes!' when I left, stuffed up one of the tests I had to do and gave some truly awful answers to some of the questions that they asked me. Sadly the man at the job agency is off today (?!?!?!?!?)(what can be more important to him than me gettnig a new job?) so I won't find out until tomorrow whether I'm off there or not. In a rare moment of common sense I have not told the 'nasty' people to <insert rude word here> off. I haven't said anything at all to them and am now treating that as my last-ditch-emeregncy-abandon-all-hope-ye-you-enter-here backup plan So it looks like tonight will be another sleepless night (although I really should try as I wangled another interview with another firm for tomorrow morning) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted March 6, 2007 You never know, you might not have done as badly as you might think. Good luck with tomorrow as well. Try and think ahead to maybe a few months down the line, when all of this will be settled and sorted and not worry too much about each day and you might find that weighs less heavy on your mind. Have a good sleep if you possibly can. <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Matthew Baker Report post Posted March 6, 2007 Also try not to worry too much. Think that you have options and things will work out. You always perform much better at interview when your calm. The jobs I have got from interview are all the ones where I didn't really care too much which way it went. One of my friends has found the same to be true. If your calm you perform better. Easier said than done I know. Fingers crossed for you though. You never know you might be a good enough author not to need another job. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
butterfingersbimbo Report post Posted March 6, 2007 oh no! i hope they liked you and you are just being a bit para.....good luck for tomorow! <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted March 6, 2007 <'> Fingers crossed, like the others say it might not be as bad as you thought, in my expereince of interviewing staff I always took into account nerves. Good luck for tomorrow. <'> Clare x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
