son answers questions very strangely

[Eva]

Hi everyone,

 

I was just wondering if other children do this...

 

My son (6.5 and has AS) answers questions really oddly sometimes. For example, the other day I asked if he would like to go somewhere with me and he replied, 'we have to watch out for the cat who is cleaning its face". Hmm. I tried to make links to what he could possibly be referring to, but am still none the wiser!

 

That's just one example. He does this quite a lot and it sometimes feel like I'm in the middle of a Monty Python sketch.

 

Does anyone have any idea why the answer to a question is totally unreleated to the actual question? Is it because he doesn't listen to the question and just says what he's actually thinking about?

 

Eva

[llisa32]

I get this a lot!!...and you're right, it is like being in the middle of some weird comedy sketch

 

I think now with my son it's where he's thinking about something either that happened previously, or on the TV or anywhere really...his brains still thinking about that topic while I'm asking him the question.

 

Hence I sometimes get another question back instead of the answer I was wanting...cos thats the topic he's thinking about - so doesn't really hear/process my question.

 

Or I get a random response like you get ....

 

You do get used to it though..

 

If it's important I'll make sure I have his full undivided attention and check with him several times if he's listening before I even bother to ask

[Mumble]

Very quick response because I have to finish writing my paper today which gives me about an hour and a half left . . .

 

I don't know your son or the circumstances - he may be using lines from television.

 

However, I would suggest from my perspective that this could be due to processing time. Although I hear what people say I don't process it in the moment - it makes questions and answers difficult because I'm thinking about another conversation when I'm asked a question.

 

Also, as in word association, the strangest links can occur very quickly in my head, so one word someone uses in something they are saying may, without effort, trigger a chain reaction of associations so I am thinking about several, totally unrelated to the orignal, things.

 

In addition, try and track back to see if the same phrases are used in response to different questions - even if it doesn't make sense, using a stock phrase and knowing what the outcome from the questionner will be (total confusion - and maybe a bit of quiet? - in this case) is comforting because it is predictable.

[krystaltps]

Yeah, we used to get it a lot. I agree with Lisa, their minds are elsewhere. Also he could be thinking about what you've asked and it has triggered a memory of last time he went out and saw a cat cleaning its face - naturally he will assume that you have seen this too and have, like him thought about it, and therefore will know what he's talking about. It's a theory of mind thing - the first six and a half years of C's life were like a Monty Python sketch (a very violent one ). I just kept telling C that I couldn't see/hear what was in his mind and he would need to explain things to me. He now gets out of that by stating that he can't find the words to explain, but at least he knows that he should attempt to.

[pearl]

Do you know what it reminds me of? That Two Ronnies Mastermind sketch:

 

?And so to our first contender. Good evening and can I have your name, please??

 

A: ?Ah?good evening.?

 

Q: ?Your chosen subject was answering questions before they were asked. This time you have chosen to answer the question before last, correct??

 

A: ?Charlie Smithers.?

 

Q: ?And your time starts now. What is palaeontology??

 

A: ?Yes, absolutely correct.?

 

Q: ?What is the name of the directory that lists members of the peerage??

 

A: ?A study of old fossils.?

 

etc etc

[Mumble]

:clap: That's funny. I've not found their stuff funny before . . . maybe you tell it well. I'm off to see if I can find a link to it so I can watch it . . .

 

 

Edit: I found a link: Two Ronnies Mastermind. I found the beginning funny but then it got a bit silly.

Edited August 1, 2007 by Mumble

[pearl]

:clap: That's funny. I've not found their stuff funny before . . . maybe you tell it well. I'm off to see if I can find a link to it so I can watch it . . .

Eit: I found a link: Two Ronnies Mastermind. I found the beginning funny but then it got a bit silly.

 

Did you find the "fork handles" one as well? Good if you like punning type/misunderstanding type of humour!

[jb1964]

I was just wondering if other children do this...

My son (6.5 and has AS) answers questions really oddly sometimes. For example, the other day I asked if he would like to go somewhere with me and he replied, 'we have to watch out for the cat who is cleaning its face". Hmm. I tried to make links to what he could possibly be referring to, but am still none the wiser!

That's just one example. He does this quite a lot and it sometimes feel like I'm in the middle of a Monty Python sketch.

Eva

 

Yes we get this also Eva. With my daughter I think it's definitely that she speaks as she is thinking about something - and it can be totally unrelated to a conversation that we're talking about.

 

She also seems to think that I know everything that she's thinking or what has happened to her even when I've not been there - so very often she simply assumes that I know what she means which more often than not ends in her getting upset because she gets frustrated and annoyed because I don't know what she's on about.

 

Take care,

Jb

[Eva]

Thanks so much for your replies everyone - it's good to know that this is nothing out of the ordinary

 

Thanks for insight Mumble, it really helps me to understand my son. I'm pretty sure he's not using lines from tv - I generally can place most of his tv references - but he's probably processing something from awhile ago. Or as you said, a word may trigger a thought and he may focus on that.

 

It gets a bit frustrating when I may need a response to a question, (such as 'what do you want on your sandwich?'), and he's answering a different question. Any suggestions for getting him to redirect his thoughts and focus on the question?

 

Yes Pearl, you are spot on! I love the Two Ronnies! I couldn't get any audio from the link though. The volume was up on my computer, the mute button wasn't on, what else could it be? (Without looking at all those cables behind the comp )

 

What I find funny is that my son often doesn't 'hear' me when I'm droning on about something and we're sitting next to each other, but he hears everything when I'm chatting to my other son in the living room and he's in the bathroom having a bath, (and happily contributes to the discussion).

 

Cheerio,

Eva

[pearl]

We can NEVER have a private conversation, JP has bat like hearing, I have to assume that ANYTHING I say at home may be repeated outside.

[Mumble]

What I find funny is that my son often doesn't 'hear' me when I'm droning on about something and we're sitting next to each other, but he hears everything when I'm chatting to my other son in the living room and he's in the bathroom having a bath, (and happily contributes to the discussion).

I can do that - it's one of the many great things about being AS. If you don't want me to listen, don't say it in the first place!!!!

 

It gets a bit frustrating when I may need a response to a question, (such as 'what do you want on your sandwich?'), and he's answering a different question. Any suggestions for getting him to redirect his thoughts and focus on the question?

I don't know if he's a bit young yet, but could he help make the sandwich and choose the filling? If not could you take some pictures of the possible choices and present the pictures to him and ask him to pick. Having a visual cue (and for me it's just having the choices in writing) does help. However, I don't like making choices, so maybe it's better just to tell him what he is having (but you know your child here and how he might react).

[Lucas]

On the other side of the coin, I'm often asked strange questions.

 

Q: Where did you last have it?

 

A: If I knew, it wouldn't be lost.

 

 

Q: Can you help? (no instruction on what I'm supposed to help with or what I should actually do to help)

 

 

Q: What? (it is rarely indicated to which relevent issue the 'what' is directed at. I don't know if they didn't hear me, didn't understand or have got the impression that I have displayed a non-verbal signal that something is wrong, etc)

 

Q: What are you doing? (usually asked during those few occassions where I've stopped hyperfocusing and can relax for a while doing nothing, just wandering about or gazing into space. This hideous question which is very strong in it's demands for an answer spoils this and I'm forced into concentrating on giving a socially-acceptable untruth for the sake of relief)

[Mumble]

Very good points Lucus - and the socially-acceptable untruth thing is something I find so difficult.

 

Apparently when someone says "How are you?", you have to say "I'm very well thank you, how are you?", to which they will reply "I'm very well thank-you too." Well what's the bl**dy point?!?! If they didn't want to know, why did they ask, and if everyone's supposed to give the same answer, then they'll know what you are going to say so there was no point them asking in the first place. I realise that this is probably a little plesantry to an NT, but I simply can't understand it, and most of the time refuse to 'play the game'.

 

Then there are "What do you think?" and "What would you like?" - well I'd like some peace and quiet, a small cottage in Scotland by a mountain, a swimming pool, some chocolate, a friend who understand me, more chocolate, ...

 

And then the one used at job interviews that I can't get at all, still don't know the answer to, so have to ask others and memorise the 'correct' answer:

 

"Tell me about yourself" :angry:

[Cariad]

Yes we get this too, I could be asking the DS what he'd like for tea and he'd say "I thought I was in Utopia then", totally random remarks

[brooke]

i just asked my son "why are you in your pjamers" as it was the middle of the day and he said "because i have new shoes?" now we have just recently bought him some new shoes. When i went up later he said without me asking "i put my pj's on because i fell over" which gave me my answer as whenever he hurts himself he lies down in his bed and puts his pj's on even if its just a scratch or something, but again he has got this habbit from when he was little if he was poorly i would put him in bed with his pj's so he thinks he has to do this whenever he is hurt of feeling unwell.

[Bard]

B does this often. We both think it's because he's not tuned in at the beginning, and then needs time to process.

Although, now he's older, sometimes he responds differently.

I walk in and ask him " Will you have duck or spaghetti bolognaise for dinner tonight?"

He looks up and says "This is totally random, but..." and then tells you something, or asks something that is in his head at that time.

Then he'll say "What did you say?"

 

His sister taught him that. "You're just totally random!" is one of her stock phrases.

Well, it beats "You're a nutter" from school.

[Alyth_mum]

Ah Bard at least you get a pointer that it will be random....

 

Apparently I'm the world's worst for starting talking half way through a sentance (the first half inside my head and then I open my mouth... )

 

Louise

[Bagpuss]

Very good points Lucus - and the socially-acceptable untruth thing is something I find so difficult.

 

Apparently when someone says "How are you?", you have to say "I'm very well thank you, how are you?", to which they will reply "I'm very well thank-you too." Well what's the bl**dy point?!?! If they didn't want to know, why did they ask, and if everyone's supposed to give the same answer, then they'll know what you are going to say so there was no point them asking in the first place. I realise that this is probably a little plesantry to an NT, but I simply can't understand it, and most of the time refuse to 'play the game'.

 

Then there are "What do you think?" and "What would you like?" - well I'd like some peace and quiet, a small cottage in Scotland by a mountain, a swimming pool, some chocolate, a friend who understand me, more chocolate, ...

 

And then the one used at job interviews that I can't get at all, still don't know the answer to, so have to ask others and memorise the 'correct' answer:

 

"Tell me about yourself" :angry:

 

 

I've always dreaded that question at interviews and really struggle to know what to say...............Mumble, I like your list of what you would like.....if you find them, can I come too? I'd be so chilled, in a cottage, somewhere quiet, reading a book, munching choccy I've often really wanted to go on holiday by myself, just book in somewhere, with lots of books and supplies of goodies

[ASue67]

We get this as well!!!!! Also Mike will come out with things completely unrelated to anything in the middle of the conversation and start asking about something else. And he will interuppt me to ask me really bizarre things as well.

 

it does feel a bit surreal at times!!!!!