Sallya Report post Posted January 30, 2008 oh this is so silly.... I've just been sorting through all my paper work, am trying to sort both kids stuff out and put it in expanding files as I seem to be drowning under a mounting pile...had to read some of it to sort it where I need to put it.....it included all the letters to and from the LEA over the last year trying to get son into a special school, which we have now managed to do.......all the DLA stuff all daughter's medical and school reports.... and for no particular reason, I've just started crying....can't explain why.....sorry for being so daft....not sure I can cope with the school run in this mess....but there isn't anyone else to get them so I've got to..... feel a bit better just writing this...will be ok in a minute... s Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kathryn Report post Posted January 30, 2008 (edited) <'> <'> <'> <'> Hope you feel better soon Sallyanne. This kind of stuff is poison - isn't it. It just makes one relive all the stress. I'm going to have to do the same thing one day and I'm not looking forward to it. K x Edited January 30, 2008 by Kathryn Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Karen A Report post Posted January 30, 2008 <'> <'> <'> Sallya.It is upsetting when finding old papers stirs everything up.Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ellisisamazing Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Sallya <'> Sometimes you have to let it out....you'll feel better for it! Lisa xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tally Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Sallya <'> Sometimes you don't realise how hard things are when you are in the middle of them. You just keep on going because they are your life at that time. Once they have passed and you look back, only then do you realise how hard it was. It's not silly. Hope you get chance for a proper cry later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Lya of the Nox Report post Posted January 30, 2008 <'> >< our kids are wonderful, sometimes a pain, but we adore them and when we see a child described on paper, that looks so negative it hurts when we realise they are ours they are still your wonderful kids, just seen in a different light xxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LizC Report post Posted January 30, 2008 <'> <'> Hi It can be quite overwelming can't it? I have just been through all our files and the kids stuff, the amount of stuff we have! we need a bigger filing cabinet. I am finding doing Matthew's renewel for dla very overwelming, I hate those questions! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
oxgirl Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Totally, empathise, Sallya. I did this recently too, started reading all the reports from over ten years ago and it broke my heart all over again, as if it was happening again here and now, wounds reopened all over again. File them away in their place and get back to now, I know it's very hard though. <'> <'> ~ Mel ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lynden Report post Posted January 30, 2008 I think its seeing all the worst bits of our children in black and white. I think I deal really well with Logan and his autism, and all his other little bits and the only time I've been in tears over Logan is when I read the reports - so I read them, have my cry, and file them away. ((hugs)) Lynne x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tsmom Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Iv done this a few times.I think its hard seeing negative things and i also think for me its realisation of how much time iv spent fighting a system when i should have been enjoying my child. <'> <'> <'> I hope a cry helps give yr little one an extra big hug tonight knowing that all that paperwork is there because you care and you fought(still fight)his corner. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
baddad Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Easy done - Most of the time we bobble along in a bubble just 'getting things done' and our lives don't seem that different than anyone elses. Then something tiny can just sort of throw it all into stark relief (it feels a bit like one of those 'pull shots' that made Speilberg famous - you know, like Brody on the beach in his deckchair) and you're in that place where the 'differences' seem bigger than the 'sames'... Nowt wrong with it, and it's not being negative or anything like that... Hope the 'boo-up' worked, and you're feeling better. just think HOW LUCKY you are to be a laydee - 'cos us blokes can't even cry about it L&P BD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kinda Report post Posted January 30, 2008 (edited) Sallya I thought it was just me but I even blabbed during a meeting with my son and his tutors at University. I feel so stupid and as much as I try I can't help it but then I'm negotiating with them to get help so there is an element of me that doesn't care but then it is a bit embarassing. It happens all the time even when just talking about him to someone. After the meeting with the tutors my son asked why I was crying and I just said it upsets me and he just hugged me, there I'm off again now so will have to finish now!!! ahhhhhhh as much as I tried not to it happened again.....dam. Recently my son and I went to watch a football match and afterwards a group of us went to the pub to watch the rugby but my son went missing. I was really worried because it was London and the pub was packed. I eventually found him hidden round the corner and he told me it was too loud and again I was upset and when I told him how worried I was he apologised and hugged me. We got the train and had a kebab from the greasy caravan when we got home and it was lovely to see him worried about me being upset and worried about him. Edited January 30, 2008 by Kinda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JsMum Report post Posted January 30, 2008 (edited) I personally dont think that its a bad thing to cry, its a strong emotion, its just when its unexpected, that it gets me, it may be that you have kept everything in so tight so you can cope with the imediate situation and there never comes a time to let it go so it gets pushed down, I think raising children NT/Special needs is a real emotional and stressful event anyway, and we do keep things inside, but I have learnt over the years that crying is actually a healthy responce and its how our children can learn to respond and cope with feelings, if I am crying when J is around I am just open and say, yes I am upset, and its shared, together we discuss it and then we do things that will help me feel better or if I need to cry for a briefe time, I let it happen. I know that I dont stop J crying and as we have had to work on Anger we looked into emotions such as sad, upset, guilty, so I feel we are understanding more, I know the more I try and contain my feelings the more upset I actually get, in the past I would bottle things up but over the years I have started to recognise the signs of deep pain and let it out, let go, experience the pain that comes with it, its hurts like mad but afterwards the release bring its own medicine and I feel a lot stronger and able to cope, I have since been tolds its because tears release toxins and healing chemicals, so crying is good for you. I have been having councilling and its helped me look at how difficult it has been to fight to get what he needs in every area of his development, its draining as it is been a mum, but fighting battles just wares you down, so I found having someone to talk to has helped me deal with my frustrations and share my emotions and come up with more ideas to help further down the road. I think its a sign that you have been holding it together longer than you had expected that you suddenly started to cry, and then you couldnt stop, thats because it can give us the illusion we are loosing control, when really we are letting it all go, next time it wont be so scary but realising we need to let go is the key, maybe your body knew it was a good time to let it go, the kids where at school, your defence was down so wam it came gushing out. Look throw the dates of the letters, can you remember the last time you really cried, let it go, probably years, now its your bodies time to let it out, its probably preparing itself for the battles ahead to get what your children should be recieving to help them develop and grow that meets there special needs and you know you will need as much as energy as possible and so does your body and mind. I would say if you get any more times like this, go with it, let it go, and see how much stronger you will feel. You will slaughter the LEA, crying isnt a sign of weakness, its a sign of inner strength. JsMum Edited January 30, 2008 by JsMum Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
smiley Report post Posted January 30, 2008 S - <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> xxxxxxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
av16 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Sorry you're down Sallya, I know how you feel. Things tick along and you think you're ok then something makes you realise your situation. Reading things or saying them can have a powerful effect- you're not alone. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hev Report post Posted January 30, 2008 hope you feeling better sally <'> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
elun1 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 <'> <'> Hate reading through all the paper work too. It stirs up all the emotions every time Take care, Elun xx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Clare63 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 Sally ~ <'> <'> <'> <'> <'> Life is such a rollercoaster isn't it and preparing and looking at all the paperwork we have is just like picking away at an old wound. Thinking of you. Clare x x x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kazzen161 Report post Posted January 30, 2008 I know exactly what you mean. I can't bring myself to sort through T's paperwork yet. I need to keep some things and bin the rest. It's the same with my divorce stuff - it really hurts to read through it all. One day I will be mentally strong enough. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sallya Report post Posted January 31, 2008 Thank you so much for knowing what I mean. You've all said some really lovely things.I can't think of anything else to say but thank you again. s xxx Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frangipani Report post Posted January 31, 2008 oh this is so silly.... I've just been sorting through all my paper work, am trying to sort both kids stuff out and put it in expanding files as I seem to be drowning under a mounting pile...had to read some of it to sort it where I need to put it.....it included all the letters to and from the LEA over the last year trying to get son into a special school, which we have now managed to do.......all the DLA stuff all daughter's medical and school reports.... and for no particular reason, I've just started crying....can't explain why.....sorry for being so daft....not sure I can cope with the school run in this mess....but there isn't anyone else to get them so I've got to..... feel a bit better just writing this...will be ok in a minute... s <'> <'> <'> expandible files but I think I need a filing cabinet for each of us. The paperwork is exhausting. If only we could buy a shredder and destroy the lot oh Sally theres the answer a shredder its good to have a cry hun.... just let it all go, the shower is a great place. My kids think I have severe hayfever and allergies if they think I have been crying they won't leave me alone until they know why. Allergies saves the day and sunglasses. You need some girl time - hairdressers, retail therapy or coffee with a bubbly friend or cheer someone up with a funny gift. I send things to my mum or cousins and aunts that remind me of them it may even just be a funny picture or article from a magazine. I never know what the paybacks will be but often something funny. sometimes I pick up the phone and a random song is playing but who is it anything for a laugh. <'> Just the thing here Sally enjoy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cq13GnZfVl4 take care Love Frang x x Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
