the playground mafia

[hev]

my mates husband picked her daughter up from school and said it was like a playground mafia with certain mums not talking to other mums and he heard people bitching about each other and i thought how true it was

my very good friend had a party in a church hall today,had a disco,party games,plates of foods for kids,it was really nice the children were 5 and i thought it was brilliant,anyway i went to the toilet and heard 2 mothers saying how the kids were bored and how the mother could have made more effort they were mortified when they saw me walk out the toilet,i just gave em one of my looks and went past them,why are some mothers so nasty though and bitchy,seems worse at kids parties etc,no wonder kids want more all the time,katie is just 5 and i want her to stay innocent and loving simple things for as long as she can if you know what i mean

[Flora]

hev, this is so true!!!! I'm a bit sad in some ways that my youngest has just left primary school, but I am just so pleased that I don't have to go and stand at the school gates any more feeling like a spare part at a circus How the heck do these mum's all know each other?? because I only know two by name and that's because my son is friends with their sons! I often feel that there is some sort of other world going on that is invisible to me, or if they're all related to each other , because they all greet each other like long lost friends and I'm totally bewildered as to how they got to know each other in the first place!!! It's not like I haven't tried to approach them but I gave up because they all went quiet the one time I went and stood next to them and it was so embarrasing I gave up!

 

Flo' X

[bikemad]

O gawd I hate this-they are like it here too-bitching n gossiping bout everyone elses lives it drives me mad. They dont like me anyways cos I wont join in so no doubt im one of the topics they discuss seeing as my lad is different.

[Enid]

I dont hate the gates at 3.30 as much as I used to when my DS was at the school, my 2 littlies, 6 and 9 are NT and I dont have to worry about the teachers "having a word" night after night It makes such a difference, sad but true Enid

[Sooze2]

Don't get me started on this one. There's not enough space or time for me to do an answer!

[pearl]

*shudders*

Teacher bearing down on me like ship in full sail:

 

Could I have a word, mrs p?

 

Even worse:

Small, smug, five year old girl (always the same one)

JP's been NORTY!!!!!!

 

Always in front of an audience.

 

NOT ANY MORE!!!!! One day these will be just horrible memories for you <'>

[Enid]

Oh God Pearl, that brought back so many memories, I used to say, has`nt your mother ever told you, " Dont tell tales out of school" it used to REALLY annoy me with some smug parent smiling fondly Enid

[pearl]

When she'd finished telling me what DWEDFUL thing he'd done today, I'd smile sweetly & say, and now tell me something GOOD that he did

[Kathryn]

I'm a bit sad in some ways that my youngest has just left primary school, but I am just so pleased that I don't have to go and stand at the school gates any more feeling like a spare part at a circus How the heck do these mum's all know each other??

 

I'm with you there Flo. Felt a bit sad when I put the clean uniform in a bag ready to give away. But I won't miss the mafia. I always found the playground difficult to negotiate - I always seemed to be the only one standing on my own. And I could swear some mums dressed up specially for the 3.30 school run.

 

K x

[hedders]

funny yea, today the snobby mums did a collection and presented teacher today with a speech and flowers a few of us riff raff mums who were never asked stayed to watch !!!

Quite funny really us riff raff mums have done our own indiviual presents

 

 

Playground politics !!!!!

[hev]

some of the mums at ks school look they are going to a nightclub straight after they dropped em off and thats at nine in the morning must take them hours to get ready,im always looking like ive been dragged through a hedge

[av16]

I'm sad DS has left primary- I've been going there daily since 1994 and did some of my teacher training there, but I found it difficult to go into the playground for the last few weeks in particular due to the mother's mafia.( You can imagine the comments ' and she's a teacher too' etc.)

My elder DD also noticed the looks from some when she collected DS too so we sympathise with you all.

 

At least there's a break before it all starts again

[Frangipani]

I think the way they get to know each other so well is that they help out in the school and by doing this they get to know a lot of the other parents. But also our schools provides a lot of opportunities for parents to meet one another by having welcome morning teas at the beginning of each year, so you can meet the parents and the teachers. My kids had this in primary and secondary school. If I missed those I wouldnt have known a soul.

 

I used to try and get one day a week at the school so I could be in touch with the teachers because of my sons difficulties and plus my daughter loved seeing me there.

 

There are many things you can do to get to know the other parents. Helping out in the library, special ed, scripture teaching, tuckshop, often in the school newsletter they ask for parents to attend P & C meetings this is a good way to meet other parents, but also, some of the parents play sport together, or go and assist with school excursions or sporting activities.

 

I used to help with the athletics carnivals and swimming carnivals tuckshop and one people recognise your face they say hello.

 

There are many opportunities and this is how I made better friends. But also when our kids had sleep overs you would meet the parents too.

 

If I didnt do this I would never have met any of the other parents because at our kids school they have a drive in drop off bay and often parents dont even get out of the car, so its in and out very quickly. You never see parents standing at the gate, the kids usually spot your car and off they go.

 

 

xx

[hev]

some of us mums are meeting for a picnic on wed at the park which will be nice,if theres a new mum in ks class i always make a point of going over to them in the playground and talking to them,prob scares life out of them but i hate it when people dont feel included,we are also going out for a drink one night over the summer,poor loves wont know what has hit them once i get excited

[Frangipani]

some of us mums are meeting for a picnic on wed at the park which will be nice,if theres a new mum in ks class i always make a point of going over to them in the playground and talking to them,prob scares life out of them but i hate it when people dont feel included,we are also going out for a drink one night over the summer,poor loves wont know what has hit them once i get excited

 

Can I come too.

 

xx

[oxgirl]

Anyone who has seen the scene in Chaplin's 'The Gold Rush' where he's outside the saloon looking through the window at the people partying inside on New Year's Eve will know how I always used to feel in the dreaded school playground.

 

~ Mel ~

[pookie170]

Hmm.....brings back memories of when Cal attended mainstream...... Having said that, I've upset the applecart a bit on my friends behalf, when overhearing some of the godawful things other parents have been whispering about her lad. It IS an enormous relief not to have daily invites into the classroom to discuss my childs behaviour though. Its been so WEIRD, dealing with an NT kid second time around! Must say I love the rapport I have with Cals teachers and all the other staff at his special school, it's great! A definite plus to having a child in a non-mainstream school!

[kirstie]

I have often wondered the same, how do they all know each other???

when i used to pick up my nt son i stood there with noone to talk to it was horrible, with Nursery with Lewis who has Aspergers it was very tricky at times because they were quite up their own backsides and very snobbish that they often made complaints about him, but very rarely said anything to me. But you just know when they've been talking about you before you get there and then theres a deafening silence as soon as you arrive. One mother used to physically pull her child away from mine if he went near Lewis they were a bunch of trouts who i wouldn't give the time of day to.

I will soon see how things unfold when my 3 year old son with ASD starts Nursery after the summer hols- will keep you posted!!!!

Hev, i am with you on the looking like i've been dragged through a hedge backwards ha ha!!

[forbsay]

They are like that at my NT daughter nursery. I usually just stand there like a tube. And i am not in any of their groups of the yummy mummys!

 

My little angel is starting school in August so will see how that goes. However, i think it will be my hubby who will be doing the school run.

 

Forbsay

[Frangipani]

I have often wondered the same, how do they all know each other???

when i used to pick up my nt son i stood there with noone to talk to it was horrible, with Nursery with Lewis who has Aspergers it was very tricky at times because they were quite up their own backsides and very snobbish that they often made complaints about him, but very rarely said anything to me. But you just know when they've been talking about you before you get there and then theres a deafening silence as soon as you arrive. One mother used to physically pull her child away from mine if he went near Lewis they were a bunch of trouts who i wouldn't give the time of day to.

I will soon see how things unfold when my 3 year old son with ASD starts Nursery after the summer hols- will keep you posted!!!!

Hev, i am with you on the looking like i've been dragged through a hedge backwards ha ha!!

 

Maybe thats it you and Hev walk up growling at them and it scares them off. (Just joking) <'> <'>

 

<'>

[bjkmummy]

i remember it well with ben - ben now in a school where he gets transport every day so i no longer have to do the school run

 

however joe starts in august so i will have to go through it all again as i willhave to collect joe and keira from school. i do know a lot of the mums already cos im on a small raf base - joe is already well known so im dreading whats going to happen next and also the dreaded 'can we have a word please' at the ned of the day - at least the school are aware of joe and he is on school action plus

 

also annoying is that the chool is running a special needs course in sept for people interested in working with children with special needs so im just waiting for all these new found 'experts' to start giving me their opinion on joe!

[jo4themo]

Flora, I know what you mean! My middle child has just left our Infants school and will be starting at our Junior School in September. When N went there I knew quite a few of the mums well enough to have a decent conversation with as most of them knew me and N from mother and toddler and playgroup. Now, though, I only know 2 or 3 of them well enough to say more than "Hi" to - makes it worse that some of them stand around in select groups only talking to other mums in that group. In September it won't be quite so bad (I hope) as there will be several mums there that have children that were in Ns class when she was mainstream plus most mornings I will have to drop of either my friend's daughter at the Infant school or my son at playgroup in the mornings so will be in a rush.